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crimson clash

RAGESTAR

By RAGESTAR

    • stallion

    (As seen in picture above)

    male Unicorn Two swords clashing with a red shiled behind them. https://buffy.mlpforums.com/ed04ffa3cc6d9a8011fd2d03b1948a27.jpeg

    Despite looking rough and mean, crimson is actually very kind and caring, training as a royal guard in celestia's army in order to protect as many innocents as possible. He is very intelligent and loves to spend his time either training in the royal guard barracks or reading a good book. He will do anything for his freinds and even total strangers.

    Likes: Evil, stealing, thieves and needles.

    Crimson grew up in canterlot with a well off, yet not rich, family, his mother was a flourist, and his father was a canterlot royal guard and his younger sister violet rose, loved to follow him around. His mother spent her time between running her shop and training violet rose how to grow and take care of plants, while his father spent his time between guard duty and training crimson to join the royal guard.. After many years of this, both crimson and violet had become skilled enough in their training that crimson applied for the royal guard and violet took over management of her mothers shop. Crimson's skill in self defense and leadership, allowed him to quickly rise through the ranks, eventually, princess celestia noticed his skills and offered him a captains position in a special squad that is assigned to protect the streets of canterlot, as the recent changling attack during cadance and shining armor's wedding had made many citizens concerned for their safety. but there was one problem however, many other, more experienced soldiers wanted the position as well, so celestia proposed a challenge for the top three soldiers (including crimson) to settle the deabate with a contest. All three soldiers had to stand at attention and stay alert and protect the assigned post, no matter what. After an entire day and night of guard duty, crimson was the only guard that was not asleep, but instead standing at full attention and in high alert. Celestia congradulated crimson on his victory and offically promoted him to captain of the canterlot city guard division.

    Please ignore the scar on his eye.

    Crimson is a captain rank.

    This crimson is basically a rated PG version of my other OC crimson grinn.

    His horn cannot be seen in his picture because the artist forgot to draw it...

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Shift

Hi there! I'm Shift.

 

I'm not sure if Swords exist or are OK in EQW, because swords have never been used in the show besides Mystery on the Friendship Express, and that was in a flashback, so i'm not sure if they exist. Normally ponies use spears or such, so i'd suggest changing your cutie mark to just a shield, but technically that's the mods decision. Also, being the captain rank is a little too high, Shining Armor is the captain after all, and as such, he would be on the level on Shining Armor. As such, I would suggest moving him to a high-ranking lieutenant.

 

I can see some errors, as the 'Royal Guard' should be capitalized, Canterlot should be capitalized, Crimson and Violet's name should be capitalized, in backstory 'tome' should be 'time', the 'between' in backstory is unnecessary, in your character's name, 'Clash' should be capitalized, Celestia's name should be capitalized in personality and likes, Luna should be capitalized in 'likes', in cutie mark 'shiled' should be 'shield', in 'backstory', the first sentence is a run on, so I suggest fixing that, too many periods after 'training Crimson to join the Royal Guard', in backstory 'mothers shop' should be 'mother's shop', in backstory, tkae should be take, and I can't see his horn in the picture so what's up with that. 

 

Yeah, that last paragraph was me being a grammar nazi.

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Princess Periwinkle

Hi ragestar,

A new field has been added to the application which separates WIPs from those ready to be reviewed. When your OC is ready, please remove the WIP tag and you'll be good to go.

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Ice Storm

Hello there! I would like to say that the swords are fine. Equestria is seen to have refined pikes and spears so swords wouldn't be a stretch at all as their weapons appear to be medieval in nature.

 

However there are still some things that are wrong with this application. I know that this is still a work in progress character, but the first thing that I noticed is the age. We don't know the lifespan of Ponies in Equestria, so that should be changed to the general ages that were mentioned in the Character Rules for this section.

 

And I personally have to agree with Shift. A captain is a bit too high of a rank if you're intending for the Royal Guard. If you're trying to go for the R.E.A. though, you can just simply flavor it as a different Squadron. That, however, will have to be explained in detail in your back story where his squad/battalion is, and how he became the captain and why he got chosen over someone else. Consider these thoughts when you are finishing your backstory for this character, and I will be watching for it's progress.

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Ice Storm

It depends, actually. The way we have everything organized is that is shows us the ones that have been last updated at the bottom so that we are always looking at the oldest applications first. So we don't advise bumping to move your character to the "top" of the list as it will do the opposite effect. That being said, looking over this one last time, everything looks to be in order. I approve. Just remember, he's approved as a captain of the Canterlot Guard. Not the Royal guard. I will be monitoring this.

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Princess Periwinkle

Your OC would be labeled as "not cast". Tier 1 is the Mane 6, the Princesses, and the CMC; Tier 2 includes most of the background characters such as Zecora, Big Mac, Soarin, Babs Seed etc; Tier 3 includes ponies such as Pony Joe, Hoity Toity, Sapphire Shores etc.

 

More info here.

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