Jump to content
Banner by ~ Ice Princess Silky

Garnet Desires


retrosteamknight
  • , No, Not Cast Adult

    Garnet is a stocky male Unicorn of medium height. His defining characteristic is his Garnet Red eyes, which earned him his name. His long, messy blond mane and tail will, surprisingly enough, never straighten out, no matter how much time and effort Garnet or anypony else puts on it. Blending that all in is his Forest Green coat, making Garnet unique enough to easily be selected out of a crowd.

    male Unicorn Garnet's cutie mark is a Garnet gem overlapping a blank scroll.
    The parchment symbolizes his artistic talent(A blank canvas, perhaps?).
    The gem creates a relation between him and the cutie mark(Let's face it, about 98% of the ponies in the show are named after their cutie marks(Or vice versa)) https://buffy.mlpforums.com/29c39a7cf78421dfbaec2271aefd6bd4.png

    Bright, charming, creative, and always the one to step in before you make an irrational decision, Garnet is the pony that you'd want by your side. He is reserved and a bit Anti-Social at times, but will never pass up the chance to continue a conversation. He has multiple habits that make him intelligent, observant, and never the one to back down on a promise. Garnet also possesses a high vocabulary, and other ponies will sometimes have trouble telling what he's trying to say.

     

    He has his own view of other ponies; he is reserved, distant and cold towards the ones he doesn't like, but the opposite is true for his friends. He bases this upon how they act while in his vicinity. As such, it is possible to switch from his good side to his bad side and vice-versa. Once he grabs hold of an idea, he will never let go unless that idea has been disproved. Always the one to put on a smile, his anger only shows under dire circumstances.

    Likes: Garnet is a Pacifist. He hates violence and discord between other ponies and even entire nations. As such, he will go to great lengths to break up any fighting. He strongly dislikes crime and dishonesty. If a pony is really getting on his nerves, he will let loose on them, even ironically cursing in the process. He cannot let another pony die, even if it seems like they deserve it.

    Garnet was born in Fillydelphia as the only son of the female unicorn Topaz and the (then well known) male earth pony Artistic Vision. Unfortunately, Artistic Vision was called away to the Griffin Empire on a business trip shortly after Garnet's birth, leaving Topaz to care for him alone. Garnet was raised well, and was taught basic magic from a young age. Eventually, he became so widely known in his hometown, that he was accepted into Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Knowing that he'd leave his friends and town behind, Garnet was initially hesitant to leave for Canterlot; however, the assurance by some of his trusted friends and neighbors of renown throughout Equestria convinced him to go.

     

    During his time in the academy, Garnet found himself under intense pressure and often struggled with his coursework although he pulled through by several means of hard studying, even taking part in extracurricular clubs to assist in finding a special talent. At the urging of his mother, Garnet participated in numerous art-based contests, including Poetry, Slam Poetry, and Marching Band. Unfortunately, he wasn't particularly good in any of them, and he hadn't found the slightest hint of a cutie mark.

     

    Garnet eventually found solace, however, when he was a young colt. During a particularly boring school session, he found himself drawing in a spare notebook, attempting to disguise it as taking notes. Unfortunately, his teacher noticed and called him up to the board to solve a problem. With his ruse uncovered, Garnet decided to come clean, presenting the teacher with his drawing of a detailed gemstone. Impressed, the teacher started praising Garnet's work before pointing out that something had appeared on his flank. Turning to look, Garnet was surprised to see that he had finally obtained his very own cutie mark.

     

    The rest of his life had gone well right up to one summer. During the time that he was reaching adulthood, Topaz finally told him the truth about his childhood. Artistic Vision wasn't really away in the Griffin Empire, he had been killed by a runaway Carriage almost immediately after leaving the Hospital. Believing most of his life to be a lie and harboring resentment towards his mother, Garnet locked himself in his room, to the detriment of both his studies and health. Just when it seemed that nopony could get him out, Topaz started relaying back her opinions about Garnet in his early life to him, eventually apologizing to him about hiding his father's death. Seeing how sincere her mother was at that moment, Garnet finally agreed to resume his life and make up his studies. Sadly, he had lost a considerable amount of knowledge of spellcasting while giving way to anger and grief.

     

    Fresh out of the academy Garnet worked for a small but profitable company, eventually earning enough to buy a house in Canterlot. For a while, nothing happened and Garnet grew bored. Just as he began to accept that his life might never be more than this, he was told that there were a few aspiring artists in the nearby town of Ponyville. Packing his things, selling his house, and bidding farewell to his Canterlot friends, Garnet excitedly prepared for his new life in the small, quiet town.

    Spells learned

    -Teleportation

    -Short Range Stun Blast (Garnet may be a pacifist, but he still needs to defend himself.)

     

    Garnet is married to the half-changeling Emerald Desires.

     

    Garnet's House is located a few blocks down from the dead center of Ponyville.

    The kitchen right when you walk in the door with the dining room directly neighboring it. Going through another entryway in the dining room takes you to the living room, a moderate sized room with a single couch, a chair in the corner, and a painting of himself facing the couch. In the hallway are three rooms. One of them is a room slightly larger than the living room containing numerous books. On the other side of the hallway, there is a small bathroom with shower and a supply closet. Upstairs, the first room to the left is Garnet's bedroom, which contains a double bed, a large drawer, and a painting of Garnet and his wife, Emerald Desires, on the wall facing the bedroom closet. Directly next door to the bedroom is another bedroom for their children. This room contains a single, smaller bed, a desk in the corner of the room, and a painting of their son and daughter. on the other side of the hallway is a room the same size as the library which holds all of Garnet and Emerald's artistic equipment.

https://buffy.mlpforums.com/0f26a07de7ae7677b2779de3d65f4ed4.jpg

User Feedback

Recommended Comments

Hi there,

 

You've got a solid character, but there are some kinks that need to be worked out.

 

We don't know how long ponies live, so exact ages aren't allowed.

The second paragraph in his personality section isn't about his personality, but what he's good at. Each character needs at least 2 paragraphs about their personality.

We don't know the size of any cities, but if they are anything like their real world counterparts, you've made Phillydelphia seem extremely small. You should consider either change the location of his backstory, or make it seem less like the entire city is involved in his decision to leave.

You detail his house, but where is it? Ponyville or Canterlot? This is never made clear.

Finally, quoting directly from the rules for the section:

Things which have only been seen once or twice in the show are considered rare, and thus should not be included in an application or a character’s backstory. These include, but are not limited to: Spells such as the ‘Wing Spell’, which we have only seen once and which appeared difficult for a Unicorn as skilled as Twilight Sparkle to cast.

 

As of now, only characters with the ability to fly are able to do RP's in Cloudsdale.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi there,

 

You've got a solid character, but there are some kinks that need to be worked out.

 

We don't know how long ponies live, so exact ages aren't allowed.

The second paragraph in his personality section isn't about his personality, but what he's good at. Each character needs at least 2 paragraphs about their personality.

We don't know the size of any cities, but if they are anything like their real world counterparts, you've made Phillydelphia seem extremely small. You should consider either change the location of his backstory, or make it seem less like the entire city is involved in his decision to leave.

You detail his house, but where is it? Ponyville or Canterlot? This is never made clear.

Finally, quoting directly from the rules for the section:

Things which have only been seen once or twice in the show are considered rare, and thus should not be included in an application or a character’s backstory. These include, but are not limited to: Spells such as the ‘Wing Spell’, which we have only seen once and which appeared difficult for a Unicorn as skilled as Twilight Sparkle to cast.

 

As of now, only characters with the ability to fly are able to do RP's in Cloudsdale.

Alright. I'll fix it up. Thank you for pointing it out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are still two references to his age in his backstory. Also, you removed the spells bit. Unicorns are required to have at least one spell, upwards of three. I actually rather liked the stun one that you removed.

 

Looking much better, you're quite close to approval.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are still two references to his age in his backstory. Also, you removed the spells bit. Unicorns are required to have at least one spell, upwards of three. I actually rather liked the stun one that you removed.

 

Looking much better, you're quite close to approval.

Ach! Sorry! I'm surprised that I didn't see that... :wacko:  I'll remove the age numbers. Thank you for your opinion of the Stun spell, by the way. I was quite skeptical that it would ever make it in...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know if you can tell when I edit the page... maybe you're just busy and will get to evaluation in due time.

Whatever the case, I'm patient, but I'm not that patient. Please let me know what's going on so I can feel a tad less stressed out about Garnet's chances of getting approved...

 

Thank you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Your patience is very much appreciated. Troblems is unfortunately busy, being the head of the RP staff, so I will attempt to take over for her temporarily, if you won't mind. :)

 

I think the 'likes' section needs to have a bit of an expansion, personally. What it has right now is just 'he likes gems and peace'. I'm sure Garnet has more likes than that!

 

The second paragraph of your personality only seems to have half personality. If it would make it easier on you, I would suggest attempting a third one so that you'll meet the personality minimum.

 

Other than that, it's turning out marvelously and I would be happy to give it an initial approval once these changes have been implemented!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Your patience is very much appreciated. Troblems is unfortunately busy, being the head of the RP staff, so I will attempt to take over for her temporarily, if you won't mind. :)

 

I think the 'likes' section needs to have a bit of an expansion, personally. What it has right now is just 'he likes gems and peace'. I'm sure Garnet has more likes than that!

 

The second paragraph of your personality only seems to have half personality. If it would make it easier on you, I would suggest attempting a third one so that you'll meet the personality minimum.

 

Other than that, it's turning out marvelously and I would be happy to give it an initial approval once these changes have been implemented!

Alright. Thank you for your response. I shall perform my edits as you see fit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm usually against teleportation, because it's considered a higher level magic, but since he has a basis to be proficient in magic, I'm okay with this.

Especially because he doesn't have a thousand different magnificent traits to him, but actually is a regular pony who just happens to be a bit better in magic and has a normal hobby/work :)

 

Also, although the death of a parent is the most cliche thing ever, you actually managed to give it a meaning and interlace it into the story in a way that it creates an opportunity for character development, rather than implementing it just "for the sake of it".

 

Good job there.

 

 

HOWEVER.

 

The Cutie Mark story.

 

I absolutely don't understand the circumstances under which it was earned and, what follows, the meaning behind it.

Obviously, the garnet on CM is a reference to his name, but what does it mean and how exactly is it connected to his talent? What exactly happened that caused the parchment AND the garnet to appear at once?

You say that he's an artist. Perhaps you should specify what kind of artist he is? It rarely happens that a single artist is a musician, poet, painter, singer etc etc all-in-one :)

 

Cutie mark stories might be tricky to nail down, but that's one of the major things which define any character, be it cast or OC.

 

Apart from the story, I believe everything else is fine and/or acceptable.

If you could work on the story for a bit, I believe it wouldn't be long before the OC lands in "approved" section.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm usually against teleportation, because it's considered a higher level magic, but since he has a basis to be proficient in magic, I'm okay with this.

Especially because he doesn't have a thousand different magnificent traits to him, but actually is a regular pony who just happens to be a bit better in magic and has a normal hobby/work :)

 

Also, although the death of a parent is the most cliche thing ever, you actually managed to give it a meaning and interlace it into the story in a way that it creates an opportunity for character development, rather than implementing it just "for the sake of it".

 

Good job there.

 

 

HOWEVER.

 

The Cutie Mark story.

 

I absolutely don't understand the circumstances under which it was earned and, what follows, the meaning behind it.

Obviously, the garnet on CM is a reference to his name, but what does it mean and how exactly is it connected to his talent? What exactly happened that caused the parchment AND the garnet to appear at once?

You say that he's an artist. Perhaps you should specify what kind of artist he is? It rarely happens that a single artist is a musician, poet, painter, singer etc etc all-in-one :)

 

Cutie mark stories might be tricky to nail down, but that's one of the major things which define any character, be it cast or OC.

 

Apart from the story, I believe everything else is fine and/or acceptable.

If you could work on the story for a bit, I believe it wouldn't be long before the OC lands in "approved" section.

Alright... Looks like I have some thinking to do, because you just blew a large hole in most of his character...

I'll refine it, but don't expect a mareacle...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've revised what you wanted me to revise.

-Added more detail to the Backstory 3rd Paragraph to further describe how Garnet got his cutie mark.

-Added more detail to the Cutie Mark section to describe the meaning behind the different parts.

-Switched Garnet's artistic talent from all-around to 2d Imagery(Painting, Drawing/Sketching).

-Refurbished Garnet's 2nd Floor Workplace to reflect the change.

-Removed instances of Musical, Poetic talent to reflect the change.

 

Thank you for the complements on the other parts of the character.

What else do you want me to revise?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I doubt I have anything against it anymore. I'll send it to second approval so that someone else proofreads it once more and if it's fine with them as well, it'll get moved into approved section.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I doubt I have anything against it anymore. I'll send it to second approval so that someone else proofreads it once more and if it's fine with them as well, it'll get moved into approved section.

Thank you! Words cannot express how happy I am right now...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Changed name to "Garnet Desires."

Removed third personality paragraph.

Added a sentence to dislikes and two more words to likes.

Added a sentence to More.

Improved description of the house and changed layout.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


×
×
  • Create New...