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Soft Star


Mentis Soliloquy
  • No Not Cast Young Adult

    Charcoal coat, Silver mane and tail, orange eyes and wings. Can wear a Wonderbolts coat belonging to her father who she had resized for herself, or possibly her reserves uniform. Her appearance is not entirely bat pony.

    Female Bat-pony or Shadow Pony Shooting Star, with a feather crossing behind it in and 'X' shape. https://buffy.mlpforums.com/708a073bcd9c7eba0d3357b1d6e866da.png

    To a degree shy, but once over that hurdle, a reliable and friendly Thestral. Star also has a bad habit of saying the wrong thing at times; she always tries not to, but it's a trait she has - not much she can do to counter it. She's proud of her people and heritage, similarly so with pegasus culture as she is half pegasus.

     

    She can be somewhat pessimistic and and serious, as her life and current positions don't always allow for a positive life nor emotional state. Her work at the university is somewhat demanding of her which causes a deal of stress, but overall she enjoys her work. On the opposite side of her life, her current work with the Wonderbolts has given her a sense of honor and helped her with various negative parts of her personality; a bonus to getting in.

    Likes: Midday, the sun, meeting new ponies, royal guards, a mild dislike of other races. (Due to her mothers influence)

    Soft Star was born from a union of a Thestral and Pegasus, at Star's birth her thestral mother gave her a hair band imbued with the magic of the thestrals making Star, her daughter take after her as one. This was after her pegasus father got into trouble outside of Hollowshades and had to seek shelter there, where he fell for her mother. The pair moved to Cloudsdale after their union.

     

    This band, to name that several bands were passed down Star's thestral side of the family, so from her mother to her to imbue their children with thestral magic to make them into creatures of the night. The hairbands are family heirlooms and are very important if somewhat plain looking magically enchanted items.

     

    Star's father was a Wonderbolt in his youth but retired when he fathered her, a few years after they married, reverting back to his older job as an instructor at the flying academy. Star's mother was a historian after moving to Cloudsdale started working in the public library keeping the tomes of the pegasus race and the general history of Equestria in good order in her library. Star's younger life was quite good she was always a night owl like her mother though which did not help so much at school as she was tired a lot of the time but she still managed to do ok with her schooling despite that. She always had a passion for looking at the stars at night somthing she did on a near daily occurrence. She came to the age when most gained their marks she was in the middle order of her class.

     

    During a school science project Star decided to catalog some stars for her own project, the class was to be judged by a professor from a local university. Upon seeing Star's work the professor remarked that he'd not seen this constellation before. She boldly declared that no one had she'd found it! To the laughter of the rest of the room apart from the professor. Who said that he'd judge the rest tommorrow he wanted her to show him this new constellation, that evening she did gaining her mark and winning the science project. Seeing her way forward into university to study the stars as her life's work.

     

    Star was no push over when it came to flying either though she was more impassioned to studying the stars, there was no doubt Soft Star was a gifted flyer her father saw this in her. Talking to the current Wonderbolts he saw to her trying out for the reserves which she passed third in her class only from having to help others over herself, remarked by the instructors. Her father gave her his Wonderbolts jacket as a gift for passing, somthing she rarely takes off these days proud of her flying skill and her fathers legacy as a true master of the skies, well when she's not looking at the Stars...

     

    Star found Cirrus after a bad storm where she found the poor falcon with a broken wing, after many months of care and hard work the little falcon was nursed back to health. However the day approached for her to return back to the wild Cirrus did not leave Star, Star really not wanting her to go so she didn't Cirrus has been at Soft Star's side since that day, she's an excellent carrier bird. However she spends most of her time near or even perched on Star one place or another, the pair quite close.

     

    Soft Star has her own place in Cloudsdale where she works at the local university as an astrologist by night. Or travels the nation assisting the Wonderbolts by day as a reservist when she was called upon.

    Soft Star has a pet falcon named Cirrus
    (it's a type of cloud if you are curious. (cheers Randi for that.))
    All art Credits go to @Crystal Vision

https://buffy.mlpforums.com/2b64c6e241c87d9001c6a4ed2c259bb9.png
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Looking over the character, it does look good overall. It has some issues though.

  • The half pegasus/half batpony does not go well with the lore we brought in. A good adjustment would be to have Soft Star inherit some artifact from her father. Batponies are a product of being near or brought up with an artifact of some sort that gives them their appearance. 
  • I would recommend putting the part in your other section about Cirrus in your backstory instead. It fits better there.

Make these minor changes and you will be on your way to approval.

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@@Derplight Sperkle,

 

That lore you guys have is... hmm well interesting, certianlly dose not match my own, but I will bow to your wishes.

 

  • Cirrus's section has been moved to second last paragraph of her background section
  • I've adjusted her opening background sentence to incorporate a magically enchanted item to make her a thestral

Hope that is sufficient.  

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Hiya, Mentis!

 

Okay, let's see here...

 

First off, I'd like to start by congratulating you on a very well-done character; Star seems to be an absolute sweetheart, and I do like how you got into her background so well.  It's skill like that which makes reading a background interesting instead of irritating.

 

After a good review, I'd have to say that my nitpicks are minimal, at best.  As she stands, Star COULD be approved... however, as I know you, I feel that you're like I am with OCs; you want to do the best job possible.

 

* You never really designate which parent is which, though you leave a few hints that lean towards the idea that her father was a pegasus and her mother was a thestral... if this IS the case, it'd probably be a good idea to say such outright in the first paragraph.

 

* The artifact hairband should at least have a little bit more of a description - not, like, a paragraph... but as it supposedly IS an artifact, there should at least be a sentence explaining either where it was gotten from or why it was considered an artifact.

 

* There are a few punctuation marks that seem to be missing... but that's grammar, not character, so no worries.

 

Other than what I listed above, Star seems ready to go - and that artwork REALLY makes her seem prepared to pop right into the show!  (Might wanna put who did such lovely art for you... unless it WAS you, then brag; that's GREAT art!)

 

Soft Star looks to be quite an interesting character, and once these little details are taken care of, I would be MORE than happy to send her along towards EqE stardom!

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Dear Princess Celestia,

 

  Today I learned that even though we flap our wings within the clouds, there are still those of us who continue to reach for the stars.

 

  Your faithful student,

  Randimaxis

 

     [APPROVED]

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