Can I say something, please...?

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

I think yesterday's misinterpretative incident made me think more about myself.

 

I pretty much threw myself into a self-imposed exile again, but something else happened. Not only did I simply lay in my bed trying to force myself into slumber, but after trying to confiscate my dad's guitar (because his music pretty much kept me up), I realised that his behaviour is simply something that I find intolerable.

 

What I mean (and I really mean it) is that he is not the kind of person I would look to with a problem. In fact, I don't think he even understands the emotional side of me. I realised that it was my mom who would actually understand me better. It's just that I almost never turn to my family if I ever have that kind of problem.

 

There was one other misinterpretative incident back in high school, but I was able to lie myself out of it. I guess it's because I feel shameful if I do bring up those kinds of problems...

 

I was always the one seeking isolation from my own family as a teen; I could only turn to surrogate families, the groups of online friends that I had made throughout the years on all applicable websites. But now I think I haven't been able to show much appreciation towards my biological family... My mom, especially...

 

Yeah, an inconsiderate bronie with his own problems, boo hoo...[/sarcasm] Well, I'm not inconsiderate. I'm just not the kind of person who should be involved in those types of conversations anyway.

 

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Normally I would simply dump all of my emotions over at deviantART, but I'm not ready to go back there yet. Really, this was the first time I did any sort of mass logout like this. I've been everywhere, and I've settled down in four notable places: deviantART, SC4Devotion, Simtropolis, and finally, MLP Forums.

 

I remember having a really rocky start on both deviantART and here. The difference is that for SC4D, ST, and MLP Forums, I started out as a lurker, safely observing the activities of all three forum sites, without having to be a part of said activities.

 

Wanna know what JMouse, one of the moderators of SC4D, said? Lurking means that you'd miss out on everything else.

 

What would happen if I stayed a lurker? Well, for starters, I wouldn't be inadvertently derailing everything, and everything would stay in its pristine condition. But that would also mean sacrificing my status as a NAM Team Member, a SC4 modder, a NAM Tester, a seasoned vector artist, an integral friend, and a source of extreme randomnicity.

 

I'm not the kind of person who would ask for anything out of anyone. I make almost no requests out of anyone so as to ease the burden I place. But there's no burden on anyone. It's like I don't exist at all.

 

 

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Yeah yeah yeah,... It's hard for anyone to try to attempt to obtain a grasp of knowledge of me because of several things: Blank emotions and long and confusing posts.

 

I'm doing it again, aren't I?

 

-----

 

Well, that and being simply random.

 

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I swear, it's my mental constipation. (I don't use the term "Writer's Block"; I use the term "Mental Constipation" instead. It's writer's block on a more extreme level.)

 

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Well, anyway I'm just a simple person with a strange way of expressing himself, with an underlying problem of his own that went overlooked until now.

 

What can I do?

 

Well, for my biological family, I can at least show appreciation, even if it's as benign as a simple hug. But what about here? I had so many things planned, but they all get cut short. I had a fanfic in the works, but now that's currently delayed.

 

I'm simply too busy to even touch Inkscape, and teaching myself how to type on a Colemak keyboard is not helping at all. There's the CTRL+SHIFT+E function that's moved over...

 

I had always imagined drawing many of my acquaintances in one single ponified image, including Arylett, Maarten, Elica, Cusack, and others I have not yet decided. Sounds ambitious, don't it?

 

-----

 

Well, I hope this post was thorough, thoughtful, and confusing enough, because I don't want any of this to end.

 

And with that, my zero time has now ended.

 

Begin the recovery time.

[Key Gear 6,663]

Ganagram, look, I know how you feel. Sometimes it can be really bad when you are trying something with the best of intentions and you end up being misinterpreted. It happens to me all of the time. I mean, really. All of the time.

 

Actually, it happens to everyone, and the more you interact with large, diverse groups of people the more it happens. There is nothing wrong with it. It is a natural problem that happens when you are communicating when people that may see things in a completely different way from yourself.

 

Here is my three step guide to dealing with being misinterpreted:

• Take a deep breath
• Back out of the situation and do something different for a while
• Come back later and clarify things or just leave it be

There is no need to exile yourself because others misinterpret what you say. I typically have at least 10 solid misinterpretation incidents each week. I am impressed that you have only had two misinterpretive incidents.

 

Remember, you are not inconsiderate. You were just misinterpreted. That does not mean that you are a bad person that needs to go into exile. All that it means is that your actual meaning was somehow not understood by other people.

 

Another thing that I like to do when I am misinterpreted is I like to just apologize and stop my part in the discussion.

 

Sometimes, when you see that people are getting upset and you don't understand why they do not understand you, it may be better to just say something like this: "My apologies, it was not my intention to upset you". Then, just leave it at that. You'd be amazed at how fast that can cool down even the most heated discussions both online and in real life.

 

Now, about your family. Well, it isn't really that unusual to not be able to emotionally connect with your father as well as you do with your mother. Guys, on average, are usually not as good at helping others with emotions. I know I'm not.

 

As for online communities being a surrogate family. I can understand, and I don't think that it is a bad thing. Yes, you should always take time to say hello and convey your love and appreciation of your biological family, but you have other interests and hobbies that they may not share.

 

There is nothing wrong with adding a bit more diversity to your life. I spent most of my childhood in front of a computer, and everything turned out fine. Just take a break every now and again to socialize offline. It isn't really a big deal.

 

What would happen if I stayed a lurker? Well, for starters, I wouldn't be inadvertently derailing everything, and everything would stay in its pristine condition.

 

That's not true. You didn't derail anything at all. You were just misunderstood. It happens all of the time. It does not mean that you are some type of monster that has to be quarantined.

 

Yeah yeah yeah,... It's hard for anyone to try to attempt to obtain a grasp of knowledge of me because of several things: Blank emotions and long and confusing posts.

You are venting. There is nothing wrong with that. We all do it from time to time.

 

You are also over-thinking things. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Sometimes there is no deep, overwhelming thing that requires great thought. Sometimes a problem can be understood by nothing more than a simple change of perspective.

 

Yeah yeah yeah,... It's hard for anyone to try to attempt to obtain a grasp of knowledge of me because of several things: Blank emotions and long and confusing posts.

Dude, you do not have a problem. You approach the world from a logical and analytical perspective, and you are also highly empathetic. This is actually a powerful combination, and you share this trait with many of the great leaders both past and present. The problem is that you have a natural conflict between your empathy and your rationality. This leads to it being very hard to deal with people.

 

People can be very irrational and emotional. When they misinterpret you, they are likely to assume that you are malevolent even when that was probably not the case. Because you are rational, it will be hard for you to understand why they are not understanding you. Because you are empathetic, you will be very sensitive to their anger and confusion.

 

Look, I think that I know exactly where you are coming from. Can I recommend something? Take some time to go to your local library and check out some books on human psychology. Lots of them. Then, read as many as you can and try to learn as much as possible.

 

If I am right, and you really are like me, then you need to give yourself some data to work with. You can not hope to be able to effectively communicate with people without doing some homework.

 

Some people are naturally gifted with excellent people skills. Then there are others, like you and me, that are not. Don't worry, you can study and learn people just like you can study and learn mathematics, and, trust me, you will get better at communicating. It's just, like most things in life, it takes practice.

 

I think that you should do that drawing project. Art is a great way to relax the mind and let off some steam.

 

Welcome back to the forum, and I think that you should change your avatar back. I miss the pony wearing the construction hat.

Edited March 20, 2012 by Scootacool

[Guest]

I can't say anything more than Scootacool already told you for help, but welcome back!

 

I don't mean to seem rude as though I didn't read into it at all, Scootacool just took everything (and way more) than I could think to say.

[Mr. Wobbels 664]

Straw man arguments suck, don't they?

[The Milkman 186]

tl;dr

 

(Joking)

 

Holy crap i can't quote Scootacool.

Whatever, what he's saying is good.

Edited March 21, 2012 by El Lechero

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

I think I can safely submit a follow-up post stating the following:

 

- I'm still just as broken from a week ago.

- It's impacting my academics now.

 

inb4 story time.

 

Once upon a time, I let my emotions get in the way of my academics, leading to the other misinterpretive event: My parents thought I was depressed when I was explicitly contemplating my emotions. Since then I enacted this aura of optimism which is now fading.

 

Has it hurt someone? Yes. I used to have a deviantART friend from Malaysia. I simply don't talk to him now. I spoke out to him at the completely wrong moment, and it turns out that I broke him, which in turn ended up breaking me even more.

 

http://g-do-29--anagram.deviantart.com/journal/Yes-No-Maybe-What-now-215575993

 

Maybe I do need help... Am I ever gonna admit it to my folks? Unlikely...

 

Look, I think that I know exactly where you are coming from. Can I recommend something? Take some time to go to your local library and check out some books on human psychology. Lots of them. Then, read as many as you can and try to learn as much as possible.

[insert Ganaramian-style witty comment here]

 

LSS (long story short), my brother took a psych class, but he no longer has his textbook, it appears. I feel like I wanna go back to Barnes & Noble again.