dark The Belle's Last Chime

[Lighting Star 93]

I'd had this idea for weeks now and had only just recently decided to write it. I want to know if it's a good premise for a story or not

 

 

Perfect, everything about today had to be perfect. Sweetie Belle had gone to great lengths to make sure that every last detail about this Saturday was perfect. And it all began and ended with the letters she was writing. She had been writing those letters for the past week. She made sure every stroke of her pen was careful and precise. She made sure that every character on the paper was perfectly legible. Every word needed to be perfect. Of everything that was to happen today, these letters were the most important. Sweetie sighed in relief as she made one final pen stroke. She set the pen down on the desk and took one last careful review of the paper. She thoroughly checked it for any sort of error. If she found even something slightly off she would tear the paper to shreds and start again. Everything had to be perfect.

Satisfied that her letter was flawless, Sweetie Belle neatly folded it in half and slid it into a plain white envelope. She licked the glue and placed a music note sticker over the fold in place of a wax seal. Then she opened her draw and took out the other three envelopes that were all sealed in the same manor. Sweetie laid each envelope side by side and examined them. Neatly written on the back of them was the name of the pony in which the letter was addressed to; Rarity, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Diamond Tiara. Even though she had no intentions on mailing the letters Sweetie knew that they would reach their recipients. She had it planned out. She had everything planned out.

Just then Sweetie heard the ringing of the bell just above the front door downstairs. Rarity had come home from shopping for groceries and some other essentials. And if Sweetie’s plan was correct, the exact item she needed was in one of her bags. Sweetie Belle neatly stacked the four envelopes on top of each other and stuck then in the top drawer of her desk. Then she took the key, locked the drawer, and hid the key under her pillows. Not that she thought Rarity would come snooping around in the room; but for her plan to follow accordingly nopony could find those letters, yet.

Sweetie Belle ran downstairs and saw her older Rarity with a load of tall, brown, paper bags on the table. She was taking the food from each bag and sorting it into its proper storage. Cans went in the cabinet, perishables went in the fridge, snack food went in the pantry, etc. She didn’t seem to notice Sweetie when she walked in the room. Of course Sweetie was used to this for it had become a trend for the past couple weeks. One of Canterlot’s most famous theaters had hired Rarity in making the wardrobe for their upcoming productions and this had completely engrossed all of Rarity’s attention. Though because her current task wasn’t the before mentioned one she did notice Sweetie Belle after a minute.

“Oh Sweetie,” She said while still putting the groceries away. “Good timing. Could you take this bag to the laundry room?” A blue aura enveloped one of the paper bags on the table and made its way over to Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie couldn’t believe it, there was no way it could be this easy. She had made plans to wait until Rarity was done or ask some casual sounding questions to make sure Rarity had picked up the item she needed; but instead her sister had just handed it over to her. “Sure thing Rarity.” Sweetie said, wrapping her own teal aura around the bag. She walked out of the kitchen and towards the laundry room. She unloaded the bag and began to put everything where it should be. Dryer sheets, fabric softener, special detergent for delicate clothing. She put everything away accept for one item, the item she needed for her plan. Even though this was the one essential item Sweetie needed for her plan, she didn’t smile at the revelation that it was there. She just felt a satisfaction that her plan was going perfectly as she took the item up to her room and hid it under her bed.

She looked at the time. It was two in the afternoon. In an hour she would be meeting up with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo so Sweetie could enact the next part of her plan. She spent the next half hour preparing to go out. She took a shower and washed herself really thoroughly to ensure that she didn’t smell. She took a hair brush and spent fifteen minutes brushing it. When she was satisfied with her appearance Sweetie grabbed her saddle bag, went downstairs, and informed Rarity that she was leaving. Rarity did nothing more than say “Alright,” as she worked diligently at her sewing machine.

It took Sweetie ten minutes to walk to where her and her friends agreed to meet up. She had arrived early to make sure that another crucial component to her plan’s perfection was in place. Her eyes glanced around the surrounding area for a moment before she spotted to familiar colts sitting at the café across the street and enjoying milkshakes. Snips and Snails waved as soon as they saw that Sweetie had noticed them; to which she replied with a nod. Everything was going perfectly.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo arrived five minutes later. It wasn’t exactly on time, but they weren’t late. Even if they had been late, Sweetie had made sure to be able to adjust the schedule she had planned to accommodate that.

“Glad you two could make it!” Sweetie said to her friends with a warm, inviting smile on her face as they approached her.

“Well ya were pretty insistent on us doin’ this.” Apple Bloom said.

“Yeah,” Scootaloo agreed. “You even made sure that we didn’t have anything else planned for the rest of the day. What gives?”

“Oh I just wanted to make today a special day for us to be together and have fun.” Sweetie explained. “And today was the best day for a while to do that.” She was lying. But if her friends knew the real reason then Sweetie’s plan would be ruined.

“Well could you at least tell us what this special day is?” Scootaloo asked.

“Of course. For starters the three of us will be spending the afternoon at,” Sweetie Belle opened her saddle bag and pulled out three tickets. “The Circus of the Traveling Sun!”

“No way!” Both of her friends shouted in unison. The Circus of the Traveling Sun was one of Equestria’s most famous circuses. It had pulled into Ponyville a week ago and would been leaving in just a few days. Every foal in the entire town had been dying to see it ever since word spread that it would be coming to town, including Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. But Applejack said that with the harvesting season going on she wouldn’t have time for something like the circus; and Scootaloo foster parents had a distinct dislike of the circus.

“Sweetie how on Equestria did ya get these?” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“Oh I’ve just been saving my money for a while.” Sweetie Belle was never too keen on spending her allowance when she got it mainly due to listening to Rarity talk about how she finances her business; so she had already had a good amount of money saved up even before she had started to formulate her plan. “Come on the show starts in thirty minutes! Race you two there!” Sweetie Belle took off without any warning in the direction of the circus laughing. 

“We’ll beat you there!” Scootaloo shouted back as she dashed in pursuit of Sweetie Belle with Apple Bloom right on her tail.

The circus was everything the three of them thought it would be and more. It opened with an act by clown ponies who drove in in a carriage that was way too small for anypony to possibly fit in. They entertained the audience with funny skits where they threw pies in each other’s faces or fought in a clearly fake and over-the-top manor. The trio’s favorite was the firemen skit where they rescued each other from a fake burning building in comedic ways such as using a giant pair of underwear for a safety net. When the clowns’ shenanigans were finished they drove off in their impossibly small carriage.

Next came the beast tamer. The ring master gave a word of warning to the audience about the danger of the beast before the tamer brought out a caged manticorn. The beast tamer unlocked the cage and the vicious beast instantly leapt out. It snarled and roared at the audience before the tamer cracked his whip causing the creature to instantly sit like an obedient dog. He then made the manticorn do all sorts of ridiculous tricks such as balance on a beach ball. He even made the creature jump through a ring of fire. The tamer ended his act by forcing the creature back into its cage and wheeling it out.

A who sleuth of acts came afterwards. There was a ventriloquist who would tell horrible jokes that his puppet would make fun of, a pony who juggled sticks that were on fire and ate them, a unicorn that impressed everypony with a display of her magical talents, and even a pony who fired himself out of a cannon.

But their favorite act (especially Scootaloo’s) was the acrobats. Even though every one of them was an earth pony, they soared through the air as if they could fly. They leapt off their swings and into one another’s hooves before being thrown again back to the swing. They did their stunts with such grace and majesty that everypony couldn’t help but stare at them with awe.

As all good things must eventually come to an end, so too did the circus. Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo left the tent with wide grins on their faces. They all had enjoyed the show immensely. By the time they got out, it was almost six at night.

“Thank ya so much fer takin’ us there!” Apple Bloom exclaimed to Sweetie as they walked along the streets.

“Yeah,” Scootaloo said, equally as excited. “It was the best thing you could have ever done for us.”

“I’m glad you had fun,” Sweetie smiled. “But we’re not done yet. I’m going to take you all out to dinner now. My treat.”

“Ya sure ya want to do that?” Apple Bloom asked. “Ah mean, ya must have already spent a lot of money on them tickets.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sweetie assured them. “I really want to do this.”

“Ok then,” The three of them walked to their favorite diner to have dinner together. As they walked Sweetie looked over her shoulder and saw two familiar, spoiled, stuck-up, brats walking in their direction. They looked like they had the intent of ruining Sweetie and her friends’ evening. But Sweetie had planned for this. She had taken every step necessary to make sure that this day was perfect.

The trio entered the diner and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon increased their pace determined to go in after them and torment the three foals who had not yet had a cutie mark grace their flanks for their own amusement. But Snips and Snails stepped in their way before the two of them could even cross the streets.

“And just where do you two think you’re going?” Snips asked in a fake tough guy voice.

“Like it’s any of you two idiots’ business.” Diamond Tiara snarled as her and Silver Spoon tried to walk around them. But the two colts persisted in blocking their path.

“I’m sorry but Sweetie Belle bought us tickets to the circus in exchange for making sure you two don’t bother her and her friends today.” Snails said, scowling down at the two of them. “So why don’t you just get lost, eh?”

The two rich fillies just laughed. “Like there’s anything you two idiots could do to stop us.” They once again attempted walk around them; but this time Snails inhaled deeply into his nose and blew a wad of snot on the ground right in front of Silver Spoon.

“Take another step and I’ll blow boogers all over you.”

“Eww!” They screamed. “Fine! Like we have better things to do anyway.” Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon stomped away while Snips and Snails high-hooved each other.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders walked out of the diner a half an hour later after having a satisfying meal of their favorite foods. Sweetie Belle had also ordered a to-go order of Rarity’s favorite food: an orchid and tulip sandwich on wheat bread. Sweetie looked across the street and waved at Snips and Snails, signaling that they were free to go.

“Man I’m stuffed.” Scootaloo said rubbing her stomach. “Thanks for the meal Sweetie!”

“Oh no problem.” Sweetie smiled. “But I have one more thing for the two of you and it’s at the clubhouse.” Without another word Sweetie took off again in the direction of the clubhouse. Her friends followed suit, curious to see what she had in store after everything she’d already done today. She had gotten there before the other two did and was already inside by the time they arrived. When Apple Bloom and Scootaloo walked inside they found Sweetie Belle sitting in a chair with two large, wrapped presents in front of her.

“Are these fer us?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Well of course they are!” Sweetie laughed. “I mean, who else would they be for?”

Apple Bloom looked at Sweetie funny. “Sweetie, why are ya doin’ all this fer us?”

“Because you two are the best friends anypony could ever ask for. Now go on and open them!” Sweetie pushed the boxes towards her friends.

Scootaloo unwrapped hers and stared at it with amazement. It was the new top of the line scooter that she had been telling Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom about for the past month. It was supposed to roll faster and be ten times lighter than a normal scooter.

“That’s the one you wanted right?” Sweetie asked Scootaloo.

“Y-yeah…” Scootaloo was speechless. “How did you…”

“Like I said, I’ve been saving my bits for a while.”

When Apple Bloom opened her present she was equally has awestruck. She had recently taken an interest in this line of do-it-yourself projects for foals who liked to build stuff. She had already built things such as birdhouses and jewelry chests; but what she was staring at right now was one of the biggest and most complicated ones to build: a full on doll house that was three feet tall.

“You haven’t done that already have you?” Sweetie asked Apple Bloom.

“No ah haven’t…But…”

“Don’t worry about anything. I just wanted to make you two as happy as possible tonight.” Sweetie Belle smiled. “Because like I said: you two are the best friends ever. I wanted to make sure you two knew that.” She hugged both of her friends tightly.

“That’s really sweet to hear.” Scootaloo said as she hugged Sweetie back.

“Yeah,” Apple Bloom said while hugging. “We think the same of you too Sweetie Belle.”

Hearing this made Sweetie’s smile as big as Pinkie Pie’s. “Thank you.” She sat there in silence for a couple seconds. “Well I really have to get back to Rarity’s now. Goodnight girls!”

“See you later Sweetie!” Sweetie Belle didn’t reply.

 

~

 

When Sweetie got home she found that Rarity was still working at the sewing machine. She likely hadn’t moved at all since Sweetie left, not even to fix herself dinner. Sweetie knew this because she had been observing Rarity for the past week and noticed little to no changes in her daily routine of doing exactly what she was doing now. This was part of Sweetie’s plan. She walked over and unplugged her sister’s sewing machine as it was the only way she could get Rarity’s undivided attention.

“Sweetie Belle,” Rarity said, deeply annoyed. “What is the…”

“I brought you dinner.” Sweetie said as she levitated a bag into Rarity’s face.

“Well that’s very kind of you but I really haven’t the time for…”

“Oh come on,” Sweetie insisted. “It’s your favorite: Orchids and tulips on wheat.”

“I really have to…” This time Rarity was cut off by the sound of her stomach. “Well I guess I could use a meal brake.”

“Great!” Sweetie Belle ran into the dining room and set up Rarity’s seat with a plate and wine glass. She took the sandwich from the bag and neatly placed it on the plate as Rarity sat down. She then levitated down from the high cabinet Rarity’s favorite bottle of wine.

“Sweetie!” Rarity exclaimed.

“Oh relax it’s not like I’m going to drink any of it.” Sweetie rolled her eyes as she poured the wine into Rarity’s glass. “I’m not thirsty anyway.” She put the bottle back when the glass was full and began to make her way upstairs. “You stay here and enjoy your meal; I have a surprise for you.” A couple bites and a sip later Sweetie came down with a small box wrapped in tissue paper.

“For me?” Rarity said happily. “Oh Sweetie you shouldn’t have.” She opened the box and her eyes widened. Inside was a beautiful sapphire adorned into a necklace.

“Do you like it?” Sweetie asked. “I went out and dug it up myself. The sapphire I mean. I went down and had Jean Craft make it into a necklace for you.”

“Oh Sweetie it’s beautiful!” Rarity threw her arms around Sweetie and hugged her tightly. Sweetie hugged her equally as tightly.

“You’ve been the best sister ever to me Rarity.” Sweetie said while not letting go of Rarity. “I wanted to give you something that’ll make you always remember that.”

“It most certainly shall darling!” Rarity fastened the necklace around her neck and showed it to Sweetie, who replied with a smile. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome Rarity.” Sweetie yawned. “Well it’s been a long day so if you don’t mind I want to get to bed early.”

“Alright darling. I’ll finish up my meal, work on my clothes a bit, and head off to bed as well.”

“Goodnight Rarity.” Sweetie said as she went upstairs.

“See you in the morning darling.” Sweetie Belle didn’t reply.

 

~

 

Perfect, everything had gone perfect. Sweetie Belle’s plan had worked out perfectly. Whenever Apple Bloom and Scootaloo remembered this day, they would remember it as one of the best days they’d ever had. Sweetie wished that she could have done for Rarity to make the day memorable for her as well, but she really didn’t want to distract her sister from her work. She hoped the dinner and gift would be enough. But it was too late to think about that now because it was time for her to enact the final stages of her plan and end it all.

First she took the four envelopes from her drawer and placed them on her bed. She made sure they were neatly stacked on top of each other and that the one addressed to Rarity was on the top. Next Sweetie took the item she had stolen from the laundry room earlier out from under her bed: a brand new container of bleach. She wasn’t sure exactly how much it would take, so Sweetie thought it would be best to just use the entire thing.

Sweetie climbed into bed taking care not to disturb the stack of envelopes beside her. She carefully pulled the covers over her midsections and the letters. She looked around her room. She took a long look at everything. This would be the last time she would see this room; or anything at all.

Slowly, Sweetie Belle unscrewed the cap of the bleach. She took a deep breath and muttered to herself “Bottoms up.”

 

 

What do you think? Does it need more work? Is it even worth the time?

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

Not really a fan of these suicidal stories...it was written well but...yeah...

[piece5 131]

Holy sweet goodness of all that is holy and held dear to our hearts. You killed the only CMC that is tolerable or likeable. But dude, that was hella sexy written. I have a feels attack cuz the adorable that is sweetie is now gone, banished from this cruel world of cuteness. That was some damn good writing that was done here. Just next time, if you're going to off one of the characters, you should off none of them. 

[Lighting Star 93]

@@piece5

 

But then what would my story be about?