Time Lords and talking ponies

[lazyd3vil 3]

Hello, everypony. Please do mind me, I'm posting here for the comments and constructive criticism. I know this place might not in fact be meant for submitting works, but well, who am I to think a few seemingly hundred people are wrong to do it?

Okay, sorry, I'm gonna set the bad humor aside. What I want to do is submit a link to my work, and hope that a few dandy people are going to read it and send feedback. A long shot, if not anything else, I know.

Anyway, if for some reason, you're still reading this and you are actually still willing to read my work, then please visit here http://www.fimfiction.net/story/3956/Time-Lords-and-talking-ponies and if you could muster up a few tips for a fellow writer, I promise he'll appreciate it a lot. I know this is anything but the work of an expert, but other than that, I don't really know how I can describe it. All I have to go on are the likes of a few online friends and a couple of mass-likers. That's why I need your help (you more experienced writers and all that).

[Handgasm 9]

I'll read it because Doctor Who. ouo

 

Edit: I started reading and I found a few grammar errors. You should get a beta reader. "Ditzy Doo" has an official name. It's Derpy and she was called it in The Last Roundup. It's fine so far other than that.

Edited April 2, 2012 by Handgasm

[lazyd3vil 3]

I'll read it because Doctor Who. ouo

 

Edit: I started reading and I found a few grammar errors. You should get a beta reader. "Ditzy Doo" has an official name. It's Derpy and she was called it in The Last Roundup. It's fine so far other than that.

 

There might be a few grammar errors, but I only wrote within my knowledge of secondary languages. Considering to hire a beta reader, I'm not exactly in a position to hire one, so no thanks. Finally, I do know Ditzy's official name is Derpy, and I disagree with it. I'm not going to argue with anyone about it, I am however going to stand by my choice of names.On an unrelated note for you, though, I think you should be more careful about the advice you give in the future. I was asking about writing style, character development, those kinds of things, not something like this... Thanks for the comment, nonetheless.

Edited April 3, 2012 by lazyd3vil