MLP/Battlestar Galactica crossover

[Declen 118]

Someone here http://www.fimfictio...ttle-battlestar started to write a MLP/BSG crossover. If I’ve got it right, in the series finale the Colonials jumped away after destruction of the cylon colony using The Song Coordinates, but instead of Earth they’ve found “Equus”/The Pony Planet.

 

The idea looks very promising but quite difficult to execute. I would like very much to see it done. Unfortunately, the whole project seems abandoned: first two chapters are published almost three years ago and no update came ever since.

 

I have some ideas on my own. However, I'll never be able to write a coherent story. So, I will just post pieces I come up with - mostly in form of dialogs.

 

But if anybody wants to throw somethyng in - or even pick it up and write the story - it will be great.

 

---

 

TRH State Secretariat

Department of Internal affairs

Department of interracial policies

 

 

Articles of Human Settlement in Equestria.

(a draft)

 

Art. I Settlements

§ 1. Their Royal Highnesses, in collaboration with the respective ministries and agencies of the TRH government, grant the Humans the right to establish no less then five settlements.

§ 2. The nearby territory around each settlement within the distance of no less then twenty kilotrots is to reserve for Humans and their needs.

§ 3. The Humans may use those settlements and territories as an operational base in their search for their new home planet for as long as they need to.

§ 4. The exact locations and borders of the reserved territories are described in the special protocol added to these articles. Protocol is to be developed by the negotiation commission. Places for settlements should be selected considering both purpose the Humans have for each settlement and the land availability in Equestria.

§ 5. Under no circumstances, at any time in the future will be the foundation of any new settlement granted. Nor will be the borderlines of the reserved territories revised.

Art. II Sovereignty

§ 1. Within the borders of reserved territory the Humans are granted the full sovereignty over themselves; rights to have their own government, judicial system, law enforcement and currency are included.

§ 2. The residents of Equestria who find themselves on the reserved territory shall still obey the TRH government, equestrian laws and customs. Under no circumstances shall Human authorities have jurisdiction over the residents of Equestria.

§ 3. The Humans may freely interact with other nations as they wish. However, the terms of visiting and stay in the Human reserved territories for the foreigners are those as anywhere else in Equestria according Equestrian law.

§ 4. Any asylum/refuge/immunity or other form of political or judicial shelter the Human authorities grant any foreigner is to be considered null and void until it is seconded by TRH government.

Art. III Fair use

§ 1. The Humans are free to conduct any productive activity they need within the boarders of the reserved territories, included but not limited agriculture, power generation, mining, processing of materials, manufacturing of goods, installations and maintaining of communication systems, conducting and maintenance of air and space flight.

§ 2. The Humans take responsibility for fair, careful and attentive use of the granted territories. If any operation conducted by the Humans is proven to be dangerous for the territory, Equestria or its residents, the right to conduct such or any similar operations may be revoked by the TRH government.

§ 3. The Humans shall not bring any weapon or any other potentially dangerous piece of technology outside of the reserved territories via ground transportation unless they specifically allowed or asked to do so.

§ 4. The Humans may freely use their flying machines to fly over Equestria as long as they don’t interfere with the weather management or disrupt any used cloud structures. To avoid this, they should fly at the altitude of no less then seventeen kilotrots unless it’s necessary to do otherwise.

Art. IV Travel and stay

§ 1. Humans are free to visit nearby equestrian settlements. The local authorities may revoke this right for any particular individual in a case of her or his misconduct.

§ 2. If a Human wishes to travel in Equestria, she has to notify the Equestrian authorities about purpose, destination and possible duration of her travel.

§ 3. Equestrian residency outside of the reserved territory may be granted to a Human by Their Royal Highnesses only.

Art. V Further issues

§ 1. To address any general issues that may accrue from Human-Equestrian relations an overseeing committee shall be appointed within the next 24 hours after this treaty comes into force.

§ 2. To resolve any conflicts between Humans and the Equestrian residents a special judicial collegium shall be appointed within three months after this treaty comes into force.

§ 3. The order of putting together both overseeing committee and special judicial collegium are described in the special protocol added to these articles. Protocol is to be developed by the negotiation commission.

Art. VI Validity of the treaty

§ 1. This treaty comes into force since it’s signed by Their Royal Highnesses and the legitimate representatives of the Humans.

§ 2. If one side wishes to revise or terminate this treaty it should properly notify the other side and request the negotiation to further discuss the issue.

§ 3. One-sided immediate termination of this treaty shall be seen as an unfriendly act by the other side.

---

Apollo and Chief meet with some leftover politicians.

Jules Tarney: By the way, will Mr. president join us for all this?

Apollo: No, no. He says it’s not his thing. He is a lawyer, not a manager, or something.

Chief: Then why is he a president, again?

Apollo: Because he is a hell of a manipulator. And we might have needed this right now. He wants to run “foreign policy” – negotiations, representations, stuff like that.

Tarney: So, what is he doing now?

Apollo: Spending time among ponies. Studying them I suppose. Can’t wait to see, what kind of stuff he “borrows” from them.

 

Apollo: So, what are we up to?

Tarney: What are we up to, major, is to rebuild the whole modern industry from bottom to the top.

Apollo: Is it even possible?

Tarney: I don’t think so. Not with less then 40.000 people we have left. Not to mention, some of the critical know-hows are most probably lost. And even the simple stuff may become problematic. Think about chemical industry. We’ll need ammoniac, sulfuric acid, other pretty ugly stuff. You don’t want to cook it at you kitchen, not if are worried about your environment. And ponies specifically made us worry about it.

<Name>: We could move chemical industry to the desert, or something.

Chief: No, we couldn’t. Chemical production requires water, that’s for starter.

Apollo: What about cylon technology?

Chief: Maybe. But, we will have hard time to implement it into colonial systems.

Apollo: Should we ask our genius?

Tarney: Whom? Baltar? Yeah, right.

Apollo: What?

Tarney: Don’t you remember New Caprica? No, I’m not talking about occupation – I’m talking what was before that!

Apollo: No, in the matter of fact I don’t. I wasn’t there.

Tarney: Right. Anyways, Baltars administration was a complete failure. After a year we still lacked the basic necessities: power grid, water distribution… actually, cylons helped with them during the occupation, can you imagine this?

Chief: Well, the first thing they “helped” us with was to build a detention center.

Tarney: That’s exactly my point! Baltars organizing and administrative skills were less then zero. Whenever anything was get done if was because of people like Gaeta or Chief here. You see, if you expect that all our problems can be solved with one clever and elegant idea Baltar (or anyone else, for that matter) could pull out of his ass – you very wrong. What we have ahead of us are weeks, if not months, of planning and preparations. Baltar just don’t have guts for such work. That man is too frakkin’ lazy.

Apollo: But, we have to try!

Tarney: Sure, we have to. We need a team. Anyone who is half competent.

Chief: And we may need help from ponies. They do produce some stuff after all.

<Name>: Well, if we want that stuff on regular basis we have to buy it. And to buy something from the ponies we have to sell something to them first.

Apollo: Obviously (as in “thank you Captain Obvious!”)

<Name>: No, listen to me. They do look underdeveloped, but they’re not some stinky savages you could swindle out of all their treasures for two bottles of firewater! To get profit we have to offer them something pretty sophisticated. And that’s what we need industry for in the first place! Not to mention, that we don’t really know what they might need.

Tarney: What do we know about them, anyway?

Apollo: In the matter of fact, not much so far.

Chief: Hey, did you know they have pig farms?

Apollo: What?! Why? I thought they are herbivores.

Chief: Uh… they are, apparently! I have no frakkin’ idea why do they need pigs!

Apollo: That’s ridiculous... OK, back to the topic: if we need a team, who would you recommend?

Tarney: Why don’t you try Wallace Gray?

Apollo: Gods damned! I totally forgot about him!

Chief(confused): Me too, apparently. Who is that guy?

Apollo: He worked for Roslin, as the whole thing started. Not long though: just for couple of months. She tried to pass him as her man for vice-presidency, but eventually ditched him in favor of Baltar. She figured she would have better chances with him against Zarek. Looks like he’s got pretty pissed off with Roslin and kept low profile ever since. I don’t even know, what’s he doing these days.

Tarney: He is on <ShipName> helping with the production management. He is no politician but a very decent administrator

Apollo: OK, I’ll talk to him. Who else?

---

Gray: Will subterranean water do?

Chief: I think so; it’s not ideal but it might work.

Gray: So, princess, do you know any territory that is unpopulated, but has some subterranean water?

Twilight: Buffalo territory to the south-west of Appleloosa. It’s a desert where nomadic buffalos wander. We just have to make sure we don’t put your settlement onto buffalo’s traditional stampeding grounds. And it has subterranean water: it’s deep, it’s very salty, but it’s there.

Apollo: OK, people, why don’t we call it a day?

Twilight: Go ahead. I’ll stay for couple of hours; look in geological books I have here. Maybe find something useful about that white clay of yours.

Athena: Don’t overwork yourself, Twilight!

Chief: Says the wannabe Mrs. Encyclopedia here!

Athena (smiling): Madame Encyclopedia, if I may ask.

Chief: Wh- what the difference!

Athena: Difference is that I don’t want to marry an encyclopedia, you moron! (laughs)

Athena: OK, Twilight, I tell you what: if you want to stay a bit longer, I’ll keep you company in case you need to clear something.

Twilight: You will? But what about your daughter Hera?

Athena: Don’t worry. In any case, Helo knows where I am.

Twilight: Then… yes! Thank you! That will be so much fun! I have a studying buddy!

Athena (smiling softly): Yes, it will be indeed.

---

Gaius Baltar stood on the Galactica’s hangar deck. He was alone, yet he knew, his followers waited for him outside. For it was them, on who’s behalf Gaius came here. Before him there were some strange creatures: colorful horses with single spiral horns on their foreheads and bird-like wings on their backs.

“Of course, we warship The One True God” said one of them.

“And of course we will allow your people to walk among our” said another one.

“Yes! We want you people enlighten our subjects more about a nature of The One True God!” said the third one.

“And we will grant you your rightful place in our government, so you can represent your people and share the God’s wisdom with us.”

Gaius was astonished.

“Well, let me tell you how delighted I am! How surprised I am, that such graceful creatures- no it’s not a real surprise, because- silly me, well, of course, such graceful creatures as you are would warship- would be wise enough to warship the One True God! So let me just say, that I, with all my heart-”

Suddenly, the Imaginary Six appeared from behind and went strait towards the horses.

“You foals.” She said to them “You’re being too lenient. Don’t you see how he’s playing with you? He doesn’t care about wisdom. Or enlightenment. Or the One True God! All he cares. All he always cared. Is the power and fame of Gaius Baltar. And you give it to him just like that. On the silver plate! Don’t you have any self-respect?”

“I wouldn’t bother, they can’t hear you” Gaius coughed trying cover the fact he was talking to his imaginary woman.

“Don’t make me angry Gaius.” Imaginary Six replied turning towards him.

“You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry” one of the horses said suddenly.

Then the first one, the white one with some royal regalia and incredibly flowing pastel-colored mane, stepped forward and walked towards him until her muzzle was just inches away from Gaius’s face.

“I’ve always wanted you.” It said and started to lower the point of its horn towards his mouth.  

“Oh no.”

“What?”

“I’m dreaming aren’t I?”

At this moment a new one came in right through a bulkhead. It was somewhat like the first one before Gaius but very dark.

“Yes, you definitely are.” It replied glaring at him with its glowing eyes.

With a terrified cry Gaius jumped up in his bed waking up.

Edited November 24, 2014 by Declen