critique wanted Critique - Fallout Equestria: Domain

[Meson Bolt 2,650]

Okay... *sigh* here we go.

 

So, for those of you who visit my deviantART account, you've probably noticed that I've recently gotten into Fallout Equestria. Well, really it's a result of Fallout 4 coming out recently, but you get the point. I've started a short little spinoff that I'm hoping is eventually going to turn into a completed work. But due to the immense lack of feedback, I've put the series on hold since I don't know whether or not it's something my viewers want.

 

My request is simple. I've added links to the prologue as well as the first chapter of the fanfiction down below. I try to keep them reasonably short -- it shouldn't take but five minutes of your time. All I ask is that you read them and give me a comment or two. Or, if you really want to, you could throw a full-blown critique my way; I'd really appreciate that. I just need to see whether or not this series is worth continuing, m'kay? M'kay.

 

Also, just a heads-up, I won't get offended if you don't like it. I prefer brutal honesty over sugar-coated honesty. 

 

FoE: Domain Prologue - http://r-m-h.deviantart.com/art/FoE-Domain-Prologue-579027924

 

FoE: Domain Chapter 1 - http://r-m-h.deviantart.com/art/FoE-Domain-Chapter-1-Defrosted-579032935

 

Again, I'd really appreciate any sort of feedback you can give me. If you've read down this far, you have an awesome face and are an awesome person. Stay frosty!

Edited January 2, 2016 by Meson Bolt

[Riganthor 484]

its a good start and an interesting read as it is, I do hope that as the storry goes on you do explore the reason behind the war and the superspells that where used get a bit fleshed out but what you have written here is verry good.

[Meson Bolt 2,650]

its a good start and an interesting read as it is, I do hope that as the storry goes on you do explore the reason behind the war and the superspells that where used get a bit fleshed out but what you have written here is verry good.

 

I actually won't be fleshing out the story behind the war and the megaspells, as that's already covered in the original Fallout: Equestria fanfiction by Kkat. This story's more focused on the effects of the war on an overlooked community.

 

At any rate, thanks for checking out my story, and hope you enjoy! I do plan to continue it, although right now I'm actually working on a few drawings.