What Did I Do Wrong?

[Ra1nbowCrasH 271]

Oh yeah. Some of the most downvoted stories I have are dark in nature, even though I have others that barely have any dislikes that deal with more comedy themes.  

Dark stories can be hard to write well, some come off good, others come off as the ramblings of an edgy teenager. It all depends.

 

Edit: just looked at your fimfiction page, your second most liked story is dark. The one with the most downvotes is tagged "Dark" "Gore" "Sex" and "Horror" generally sex doesn't go well with those other tags unless they are unrelated in the story.

Edited April 16, 2016 by Ra1nbowCrasH

[Buck Testa 5,503]

Dark stories can be hard to write well, some come off good, others come off as the ramblings of an edgy teenager. It all depends.

 

Edit: just looked at your fimfiction page, your second most liked story is dark. The one with the most downvotes is tagged "Dark" "Gore" "Sex" and "Horror" generally sex doesn't go well with those other tags unless they are unrelated in the story.

The sex and gore are only implied though, which probably got some of the down votes because some people were expecting...another kind of story... its more of a psychological horror than anything. 

[AmbientBeat 27]

 

That's a thing? I was aware that some people downvoted stories because of they don't like the author, but I hadn't heard about people downvoting just based on the theme.

 

 

After reading your parody fic that flopped, I can tell you that it's not because they didn't get the joke. The story is just overall poorly written... If that was intentional, why are you complaining? If not, you should read other satire stories and learn from their writing styles. Writing something that is physically painful to read and has nothing resembling a plot and then calling it a story does not make is a story. While it does have some elements of satire (ridicule and exaggeration), it has no irony at all, which is a staple of the genre.

 

One thing an author should avoid, unless writing about politics, is soap boxing in their writing.

 

If you're going to put your political views in stories, at least try to be subtle about it. In addition to this, all the characters die randomly for reasons that make no sense.

 

I get the jokes you're trying to tell, but  I'm not 7 years old, and don't find poop and diarrhea to be absolutely hilarious. People got the joke, they just aren't funny... like at all.

 

I'll get back to you with a critique of your other fic.

 

I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, but it's because I want people to improve as writers.

The reason I made this thread is because I wanted critique on my writing. Posts like yours are actually exactly what I was looking for

[Moved to Elsewhere 11,329]

Okay I glanced through both your fics. With the parody one, there's more to parody than just being random or over the top. You have to have some sort of irony with it. In this fic, it feels like you just threw a bunch of random ideas into a blender, added in some unsubtle social commentary, and then filled the rest up with death and poop jokes, basically what South Park does better. My advice would be to look up other parody fics and try to find some influence from it. Parody is a very hard genre to write.

 

And the other one. Basically what other people said. Lavender Unicorn syndrome and Talking head syndrome. There's also not a very good hook. It's at least a functional one but not as grabbing. I'm gonna be more easy since I'm assuming you're new at writing, just look for some influence and you should be fine.

 

And this might seem like nitpicking, but I personally think dead parents are one of the most overused tropes in writing.

[AmbientBeat 27]

Okay I glanced through both your fics. With the parody one, there's more to parody than just being random or over the top. You have to have some sort of irony with it. In this fic, it feels like you just threw a bunch of random ideas into a blender, added in some unsubtle social commentary, and then filled the rest up with death and poop jokes, basically what South Park does better. My advice would be to look up other parody fics and try to find some influence from it. Parody is a very hard genre to write.

 

And the other one. Basically what other people said. Lavender Unicorn syndrome and Talking head syndrome. There's also not a very good hook. It's at least a functional one but not as grabbing. I'm gonna be more easy since I'm assuming you're new at writing, just look for some influence and you should be fine.

 

And this might seem like nitpicking, but I'm personally think dead parents are one of the most overused tropes in writing.

Thank you for the feedback. However I must point out a couple things. They may not excuse my mistakes but they give them some context.

 

Twilight Rainbow, is a satire that teases the absurd darkness of mary sue OC stories. IT started out as a brief bio or laughs, but I eventually decided to make it a full fledged story to see how absurd I could get. The result is basically a novelty item I made just to amuse. And the social commentary was worse in the original version, which Fimfiction wouldnt let me publish so it's on Fanfiction instead.

 

My other fic is a different story altogether. I have written a couple stories in the past, but I never worked on anything like Runaway. One thing about it is that is a deconstruction of dramas, mostly ponies irl dramas, like My Little Dashie. A lot of the cliches are intentional, which is why the dead parent subject was mixed with dark humor. I am trying to make the next chapter more readable not only in terms of the advice I've been getting, but in terms of subject matter, because the extreme blue humor I've been using, in my opinion, makes it look undesirable.