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critique wanted Silent Flame (feedback needed)

crispy fries

By crispy fries, User

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crispy fries

crispy fries 432

This story is about a royal guard who stumbles across a hidden secret, leading her to investigate into a deeper conspiracy that stretches to the highest levels of power in Equestria. I've only got two chapters done so far, and I'd appreciate any feedback.

 

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/323313/silent-flame

img-37241-1-sig-4555395.TaElAc2.png

My OC, Redwood: https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/redwood-r9305

FoE version of Redwood: https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/redwood-foe-version-r9527

My OC, Janeri: https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/janeri-r9349

My OC, Ballpoint: https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/ballpoint-r9519

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