Why do parents/teachers make kids say sorry?

[termenchecks 146]

why don't they try to tell them why they should say sorry and why they did something wrong to that child or something? like to make them understand so that they really would be sorry.

[ZLTavs 87]

I don't know, whenever anybody makes me say sorry, I usually say a fake apology because I don't mean it, because often it's some upstuck ageist adult who believes I'm always wrong because I'm a teenager and they're always right because they're adults, it's some old bullshit.

Edited September 4, 2012 by ZLTavs

[Dusty Soul 2,611]

OH man you wouldn't believe how much I agree with this! I've seen times when the teacher actually makes the bullied kid say sorry to the bully as well. It's just insane!

[RockinRarity 1,605]

I'm pretty sure if they were forced to apologize, they didn't realize that they were wrong, or else they probably would fess up themselves.

First of all, part of the lesson IS learning that they are wrong. You don't want your child to grow up ignorant of the rules.

 

And second of all, no, they wouldn't fess up. Kids love to get away with as much as they can. Hell, grown-ups kinda do too. If you don't believe me, try babysitting for a long period of time, or teaching, or having conversations with parents of small children (especially if they have more than one).

 

And I think it would make more sense to just punish the kid rather than actually make him apologize, since it is a totally insincere apology. I can tell when it's an insincere apology, it's not that hard. When I see that, and if I haven't already forgiven them for other reasons, I don't forgive them.

 

Of course kids should be punished for doing something wrong. But f they don't even think that it's wrong, then why should they even be punished if they don't totally understand?

 

Kids don't have critical thinking down well enough to be able to truly think about what they've done wrong. All they see is bunch of rules that mom and dad say that they have to follow, and that's all they're going to see until they're too old to be spanked. That's why they have mom and dad and other authority figures in their life, because without them, they wouldn't know how to uphold any values.

 

Kids need to learn obedience before they are ready to face the adult world. If they disobey and they have never gotten into the habit of apologizing for their bad behavior, they won't go very far in life. People who never learn to apologize become, well, Internet trolls and flamers, for one. Terrible customers at your retail place. The asshole next to you in class who never shuts up when he's supposed to.

 

Granted, sometimes you get people who just say sorry because they know that they're supposed to. And I agree with you, it is really annoying. But it's a step in the right direction. At least saying sorry means that one day they'll learn how to mean it.

 

A guy I used to be friends with got so mad at me because I wouldn't apologize to him . . . after he treated me like complete crap and talked crap about my boyfriend who was also his friend, and actually caused me to cry due to a flurry of emotions, including frustration (which is exceedingly hard to do). So I obviously didn't give that douche an apology. I'm not gonna apologize just to earn back someone's "friendship," when he was never a friend at all. All I did was defend myself against him, so I said some things that he didn't like. I don't care about him now, and I'm not going to.

You know what? Good for you. Never be a doormat for anyone. It sounds like this guy was the one who needed to apologize. If you said anything extra mean to him in your defense, you could apologize for the mean things ONLY after he apologized for everything he said that hurt you. But apologizing first would have given him an edge of moral superiority that he didn't deserve.

[Creamy Arty 6,252]

Protesting the sincerity of your apology and not the necessity of it is essentially an admission of guilt. Hopefully any irritation and embarrassment you feel at being forced to do that will make you reconsider being a jerk next time you get the notion.

[~Sugar Sprinkles~ 638]

Well, as kids they make to you because you have to learn to be "nice" "respect" and show "manners", but honestly...in Highschool? I dont say sorry when I dont mean it. It really does irritate me...but as kids, that it understandable