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private The Corny RP


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Blaze watched Rook from the window as he stood before a gazebo that Lily and released from her cloaking magic. Starbolt stood next to Rook with a raised eyebrow as she waited for him to say something. "You know what, Lily? I think we just gave these two the best date they've ever had." Blaze said. He ducked behind the windowsill as Rook turned to give him a death glare. "Well, it would be if he would actually do something other than just glare at me. Do you think I should've added more fireworks or more explosions in the back?" he asked.

Edited by SongBrony
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''Man, this is taking forever.'' Linus grunted as he knocked on another door. ''Oh, hi! Have you seen a pony by the name of Rook lately?'' Linus said while making a fake grin. He quickly slammed the door after a few seconds. ''Another damn pony who was clueless. I might as well start making puns about corn.'' Linus said while shrugging. He had left Carrick in a nice little cave. Considering he was too much weight anyways. He approached another door. ''This better be the one..'' Linus said while knocking on the door.

(Sorry for such a short first post. I have school. D: )

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"Beautiful night out, isn't it?" Starbolt said.


"I do believe the mare I'm with is more beautiful, though." Rook said. He almost turned a shade red with that comment.


Starbolt laughed quietly. The night was a brisk cold, enough that their breath could be seen. "Geez, it rarely ever gets this cold here." She shivered and leaned next to Rook. "Ah, it's so good to have you back. It felt like you were gone with all those crazy hours."


"Yeah. I got lucky yesterday with one of the other guys going to do a stakeout for me... Gah, I hope this case doesn't end up the way  it's looking...


"What do you mean?"


"... It's nothing... So, how was school today?"


"It was nice. The kids did some crafts and math. We talked a bit about cells.... It's funny, I talk about you every once an a while, and the foals all want to meet you"



"I see. Maybe I should give a lesson sometime."


"Yeah, on tea or something." They both laughed.


"Ah, it's good to be back with you..."


"...and Blaze and Lily."


"Ugh, let's not mention Blaze right now. I have too much on my mind right now to worry about him..... blowing.... something..... Oh Sweet Celestia...." Rook facehoofed.


"When did that gazebo get there?" 

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Blaze heard a knock on the door. He took one last look to Rook, hoping he would finally get the hint, and left to see who it was. He was about 10 feet from the door when an explosion knocked the door down and off its hinges. "Ah crap." he said to himself. He went to see who had set off his little explosive trap and saw Linus standing there with his charred pink mane. He was going to have dip it in paint again. "Linus! Where have you been?" Blaze exclaimed. " Oh, and next time, don't kick a random rock if you want in. You could just holler." he said.

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"Aaand that's our queue to go." Rook said. "Again, Blaze attempts to blow us up for fun... We should probably get him committed, though I think the institution wouldn't hold him that long."


"Well, our house seems to have held up to his antics."




Starbolt looked at the gazebo. "Should we check to see of they're ok?"


Rook paused. "... Nah, they'll be fine...."


"You do realize Lily is pregnant...."


"....Oh fine. we'll go check it out.... but I'm not falling for any more of Blaze's excuses for a night out...."

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Linus fell on his back. 

"Blaze!" Rook shouted at him. "What did I say about explosives in the house? Do you want me to send you to the institution? And how do you think Lily would do if the house collapsed on her and the baby? And another thing-" he stopped as he saw the charred pink mane that laid on his doorstep. "Linus? Great. An old friend comes back and you decide to blow him up as a welcome back surprise." 


"I didn't do that! He tripped the house security." Blaze said.


"...Blaze, we don't need house security that involves a bomb! This is the third time in the past month. I still don't know where you get the stuff for these bombs." Rook said.


"Oh just shut up and help me move the body to the couch." Blaze said. Rook sighed and picked up Linus and placed him on the couch. "Now be a good host and get him something to drink." Blaze said. Rook glared at him. "Okay, fine. I'll get it." he said and walked out to the kitchen.


"That's the last time I leave him alone for more than a minute." Rook whispered to himself. 


"That won't stop him." Lily said as she walked slowly down the stairs. "He'll find a way. He's able to take two rocks and vinegar and make a bomb." 


"Well I'm not paying the bill the next time he blows up the house."

Edited by SongBrony
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''Jeez, man. Why do you love explosives so much?'' Linus grunted. ''Anyways, I was locked up in a Brotherhood prison. And Carrick.. Well, let's just say Carrick is nice and cozy in a cave somewhere.'' Linus said while getting up off of the couch. ''So, what have you guys been doing? I spent a couple days going door to door trying to find you guys. 179 houses..'' Linus said while his eye cringed.

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"Yeah, well maybe you should have kept -"

"Rook," Starbolt glared, "Be nice. We haven't seen him in months!" She turned to Linus and put a smile on her face, "Welcome to Baltimare!"

Rook facehoofed and went to check on Blaze in the kitchen. "Blaze, if I come in there and something explodes or you're MAKING something that explodes....."

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There was an explosion right as Rook said that. "Ah horse fillies!!" Blaze shouted.


"What did I just say, Blaze?!" Rook exclaimed.


"Hey! I was trying to be a good host and get him something to eat as well! I was making my famous Dynamite Casserole, and it just blew up!" Blaze explained.

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  • 2 weeks later...

"How about next time, you cook the food and I'll keep him company?" Blaze said. He walked to Linus and handed him a cup of burnt water. "Don't ask about the water. I don't know how it happened." He handed the cup to Linus, who took it gingerly. Blaze walked back into the kitchen where Rook was desperately working the fire extinguisher

Edited by SongBrony
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''How could that even..'' Linus said while his jaw dropped. ''Ah, well. I better keep trying to get this fire out. I admire the way you do these things.. But you really need to learn how to control it. No offense, of course.'' Linus yelled across the room while taking a drink of the water and shrugging.

((OOC: I almost forgot about this. D: Thanks for reviving it))

Edited by Hazmat Headcase Hero
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((OOC: I was waiting for Anony to post, but he didn't :P so I added more.))


"I didn't hear you complain at the Equestrian Independence Day celebration when you wanted fireworks." Blaze said as he stomped on some burning coals.


"I swear to Celestia Blaze! If you just blew up half the house again you'll wish you had never become an explosive expert!" Lily shouted from her room.


"And there's the house of horrors." Blaze whispered.


"What was that?!" She shouted to him.


"Nothing sweetie!" Blaze said. "Remind me to get something that cures hormone issues." he whispered to Rook.

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''Looks like Lily has changed since I've came back.. And I'm not the biggest fan of fireworks, either. I prefer watching explosives go off in MY favor. Fireworks go off like some idiots who got a hold of a detonator. I mean, I'm not judging you or anything..'' Linus said while finishing the water. ''Wait, I already complained about that.'' Linus said while putting a hoof to his forehead.

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"Now I know what to look forward to....." Rook mumbled.


"What was that?" Starbolt appeared next to Rook.


"Nothing, honey." Rook quickly said. He paused and thought, " look, you want to with me to the PI agency? It'll be nice and quiet....a break from booms and miss bipolar...."


"What was that?" Blaze and lily both said.


"Nothing" Rook and starbolt replied

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"So you're going to leave me and Linus at your house. Alone. Together." Blaze said. "You do realize that this pony dunked his mane in pink paint so he could dye it. I'm surprised you're even letting me stay here." Blaze said as he stomped the last flame out. "More or less."

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''Well, at least I had done something worthwhile. It wasn't like I was wearing a shirt that said 'Smeg Head'.'' Linus said while rolling his eyes and sighing of the relief the last flame was gone. ''Where do you think the brotherhood is at with finding us at the moment?'' Linus asked.

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"You do mean after I blew up their headquarters?" Blaze said with a smile. "Unless they can survive a 10 megaton bomb, I'm sure we're safe." They all just stared at Blaze. "What?" he said as he walked to the back of the house to see the Gazebo. "You know, Rook, you really should just get it out and ask. What's the worse that could happen?"

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"...get out what? I don't know what you're talking about." Rook blushed.


"Ah, yes Rook. What was it you wanted to tell me?"


Rook shook his head and gave Blaze an evil eye. He then looked at Starbolt with a smile. "Over dinner. We'll talk about it then."

"Oh you, Rook, always being sooo slow with the mares." Lily said behind them.


"Course, that phrase would make more sense had he-"


"Shut up, both of you." Rook facehoofed. "Look, why don't you three go to the.... the...."


"Yes?" Blaze smiled slyly.


"Uh...." Rook was trying to think of a place the dangerous 3.5 could go to without destroying everything.... "Why don't you all go to that.... abandoned factory! The one outside town!"

Edited by AnonyPoni
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"Sure, as long as you're okay with another downed building." Blaze said with a smile. He was going to give Rook his space, but not without messing with him a little more. 


"Blaze, I swear if you don't leave in the next five seconds I'll-" 


"Don't worry, Rook. We'll leave and give you two your little alone time." Lily said as she picked Blaze up with her magic. "Linus, you're coming too. We need to show you around. And I think Blaze wants to show you something that you'll love."


"Oh yeah. It's going to be the bomb." Blaze said while trying to hold back a laugh.


"Blaze stop acting like a child." Lily said as she opened the door.


"Hey! I'm not acting like a child! In fact I'm just being myself. A stallion with an absolute obsession with explosives." he replied.


"Yeah, well if our child ends up like you, I'm investing in a bomb proof house and putting in place a no bomb rule."


"Why not just do that now?" Linus asked.


"Because we aren't dead yet." Lily said with a smile. The three of them left the house, leaving Rook and Starbolt alone.

Edited by SongBrony
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"..... what just happened?"


"Lily just flexed her power over Blaze. I think that's a sign."


"...a sign?"


"That we deserve some time alone" Starbolt gave Rook a bit kiss on his ear. "Now, I believe you wanted to take me to dinner?"


"Well, we're not going to get anything at this hour..... though I hear there's a nice 24 hour Dappalese place near my office."


"Oh, that sounds nice." Starbolt winked. "Let's go."




They found themselves at Rook's office a couple of hours later. Empty food cartoons were strewn about. Rook and Starbolt were lying on a couch together, looking out at the Baltimare skyline.


"Ah, Rook. That food was wonderful." Starbolt said


"Yeah. They're a good place. Shame they aren't more popular...."


She nuzzled Rook a bit, "Well, I guess it can be a little secret for us."


"Yeah." Rook smiled. He sat up a bit and starred out of the window. "Um... Star... where do you see this going?"


"See what? The skyline? I just supposed it'll just get taller, reaching for the stars." 


Rook wasn't sure if she meant that in a literal or figurative sense. "Well, yes, I suppose."


Starbolt got off the couch and went to a coffee maker in the corner of Rook's office. "Would you like a spot of tea? It's only been a few hours since you had your last one..."


"Er... "


"Something the matter?"


"No... it's just that I never let you make tea for me. I always felt bad for asking or making you do that..."


Starbolt turned on the coffee maker and pressed a few buttons. "Oh, it's no big-" Starbolt quickly jumped back as hot water poured out of the coffee maker, ".... whoops..."


Rook laughed a bit, "It's no big deal, just water. It'll dry up." Rook got up and went to Starbolt. He stroked her mane a bit. "You know, we're already ahead of most couples. We've gotten to know each other, we have mutual friends, we even own a house together."


"And you've met my parents."


"Er, yeah...."


Starbolt gave Rook a hug "Rook is there something you want to say? Blaze keeps hinting at it and -"


"I know I know... I just..."


Suddenly, the door to the office opened and a Maluma walked in. "Ugh, Coffee. 6 straight hours of............ Rook? What're you doing here? I thought you and your... Oh, I see."


Starbolt and Rook quickly got out of each other's hoofs. Rook cleared his throat. "Crater! Didn't expect- what am I saying? Of course I should have expected you here..." He facehoofed.


"And who is this lovely lady?" Crater looked at Starbolt with a smile. "Oh! Is this that mare you keep talkin' abou-"


"Yes, yes. Now, why dont you run along then, Crater. I'm sure your wife is waiting for you at home" Rook started to push the Maluma out of the office. Starbolt was giggling in the background.

The Maluma kept talking "That she is! You know, we should do a double date with-" Rook pushed him out of the office and closed the door. The Maluma was quiet for a second. "....Ok I get the message!" And walked off.


Starbolt walked next to Rook. "And who was that?"


"Oh, my partner, Crater. He's the one I got to do the stakeout so we could..." Rook chucked a bit.


Starbolt started to giggle along "What's so funny?"


"No, it's just that I worked so hard to get free time with you, and we use it to go to my office..." Rook laughed.


"Haha, now stop stalling. Just tell me, what were you going to say?" Starbolt batted her eyes.


Rook paused, almost breaking out in a cold sweat. He looked at the almost perfect moment he was in. The quiet, the skyline, the (lack thereof) company. Nothing could get this wrong. Nothing..... But, something in Rook wanted to hold him back from the question he had worked so hard that night to ask. He had battled an explosive lunatic, a tired assassin, a pregnant Alicorn, and a coffee hyped Maluma to get to this moment. Yet, there was still something in his way. 



Look at her. She's so amazing. I don't... I can't. I'm not good enough for her. She can easily find somepony else. Somepony much more... better. I can't deserve a mare like her.....


"Rook?" She and Rook had been staring into each other's eyes for a long while. Rook shook himself back into reality"


"I... I just..." Rook took a deep breath. "Remember when you said your kids in your class said they wanted to meet me? I can come tomorrow."


"Oh....  that's it?"


"No... I love you, Starbolt"


"I love you too, Rook"

Edited by AnonyPoni
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"So, do you think he's going to ask her tonight?" Lily asked Blaze as he prepped his tiny rocket for a launch. They had gone to the abandoned factory that Rook mentioned and Blaze was getting ready to make an entrance. 


"I think so. He's got everything set and perfect. He's alone with Starbolt, he's got the box ready, hay, I've heard him ask the question in the mirror like it's a ritual. The only thing that would stop him would be his nerves. He's very shy and cautious around mares." Blaze said, laying the wire out. "But he should be fine. In all honesty, I'd be surprised if he didn't ask."

"Blaze, quick question. Why do you give Rook such a hard time? I mean, he's been our friend since, what? Grade school?" Lily asked. 


"That's precisely why I give him trouble. I mean don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and I owe him a lot, but he's just such an easy gimmick. I'm always there for him though. Why do you think I didn't put up much of a fight when you snatched me up with your magic? I wanted to give him his little moment alone with Star. That way, he pops the question, and I can move on to something else to mess with him."

Linus was pacing around the room making swishing movements with a stick he found on the ground. "You know, I don't understand your fascination with knives, swords, and daggers. They don't make any big booms." Blaze said as he attached the detonator to the wire. 


"That's precisely why I like them. If you are skilled enough with them, you can leave no trace behind." he said as he threw the stick into the ground. "Unlike your explosives which could leave a crater large enough to fit the whole of Canterlot into it." 


"Yeah, well, I plan to pass that along." 


"If you teach our child anything to do with explosives, I will have your hide." Lily warned as she sat behind the designated safety zone.


"Mind if I taught them a bit of knife usage? It would be great for self defense, especially in this city." Linus said as he walked over to join her. "Don't know what crazy ponies might be here."


"Yeah well we can't exactly move back to Ponyville, now can we Scissorhands?" Blaze said, holding the detonator in his mouth. "Now if you don't mind." He bit down on the button, sending the rocket flying into the wall on the opposite side of them. It exploded on impact, opening a room that was full of dummies, swords, daggers, and even buckets of pink paint cans.


"Welcome back, Linus!" Blaze exclaimed as Linus looked over to the wall. "Now go dip your scorched mane into some pink paint while I get Lily something to eat. It's our anniversary, anyways." he said as he smiled to Lily. 

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Linus grinned widely as he trotted toward the wall. He took a knife and threw it at a dummy. After that, he used 2 paint cans to turn his mane and tail pink. He put another can in the saddlebag he had found in a cave. ''I'll never know when I need to get pink paint in somepony's eyes.''

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"If you're going to try and dye their eyes pink too, it won't work, it'll just burn like crazy. We tried it on Rook." Blaze said.


"No, YOU tried it on him. I was the one who had to be woken up to drain it out with my magic." Lily said as she stretched her wings out. "And lets not forget when he got back at you by tampering with your first explosive you made at home."


"Yeah, well, at least no pony got hurt!" Blaze exclaimed.


"You're right. Just your dignity." Lily said


Blaze blushed. "I'll be back. I have to get the food. Linus, you want anything? I don't think you've had a proper meal in a long time."

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''Rocks. I haven't eaten anything but rock in 2 months. I think I broke some of my teeth.'' Linus said while shrugging. ''A medium sized bag of nacho flavored friendchips and some cider would work.'' Linus said while spitting out a tooth. ''Maybe some silver teeth too.'' Linus said after putting on a poker face. ''And about the pink paint, I'm not trying to get eyes dyed pink.. I'm trying to get them to cripple up and fall out of their he- Never mind.'' 

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"Alright, I'll see what I can do. And why in the world would you eat rocks? You're an equine, you could just eat grass." Blaze said as he prepared to to fly out. "Well I guess I can't question that. I did eat nothing but dirt for a week." He gave Lily a quick kiss and flew off

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