Greetings Everypony! I have a story I may work on!

[Steel Matt 250]

Hello Everypony!

 

The names Matt! Steel Matt! (Rainbow Dash, your ego inspires me. ha)

 

I am a Brony currently attending college. When my cousin and her boyfriend first made me watch the show, the theme song came on, and my reaction was "you've got to be kidding me"...fast forward a few episodes, and I'm a brony for life!

 

Hope everyone is doing well, and I can't wait to meet you. However, as the beginning stage of my introduction, I would like to present to you a story I MIGHT work on. It depends on how much of a demand it will be in. (Due to full time work and school, church, and well, watching MLP of course!) But anyway, let me cut straight to the chase and hurry this up. I have some tests I need to study for.

 

This story could be totally awesome, and epic fail, or 20% cooler with your ideas and input. Here is a teaser:

 

The Mane 6 and Friends Meet the Demons of Razgriz

-Story Worlds= Equestria, Osean Federation, and the Earth from Final Fantasy The Spirits Within.

Main World of story line taking place: Earth from Final Fantasy

Characters to be Featured:

 

From Equestria (MLP)= Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Shutterfly, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Spike and Derpy Hooves. Non-main Characters= Princess Celestia, Discord.

 

From Osean Federation: (Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War)= Blaze, Kei "Edge" Nagase, Alvin "Chopper" Davenport, Hans "Archer" Grimm, Captain Jack "Heartbreak One" Bartlett. Non-main= Vincent Harling (President of Osea)

 

From Final Fantasy The Spirits Within: Aki Ross, Gray Edwards, Dr. Sid, Ryan Whittaker, and Douglas Hein. Not featured or non-main= Neil Fleming, Jane Proudfoot

 

Here goes nothing: Here is a rough outline of the plot and/or eye catcher. Comments, criticism, suggestions welcome. Can I get a Yeah! (Shutterfly) or a Neh. Project could take awhile!

 

--------The concept of other worlds is rarely thought about in the world of Equestria. The same goes for the Osean Federation, and Earth from Final Fantasy.

Dr. Sid began working on a project, long before the need for weapons and barrier cities. However, at the projects peak, their world was over run by alien spirits and phantoms. The machine was never tested. In the barrier city of New York, Dr. Sid begins to decide that the project is too dangerous and complicated to complete. His dream was that by developing a Stargate that could visit other worlds, maybe...just maybe they could learn to save their own. Aki Ross and Dr. Sid, along with Gray Edwards, Ryan Whittaker, Neil Fleming, and Jane Proudfoot decide to shut down the project. Unfortunately, security measures were not properly taken to secure the Stargate. Little did they know, the machine did in fact work after all. And Douglas Hein had already seen and visited the world of Osea, by simple accident. The Stargate does not need another medium. An advanced wrist gadget controls the portal. When Douglas became increasingly aware of the inner workings of the machine, unnoticed by Dr. Sid and his team, Douglas's hunger for wanting to control other worlds grew. When Douglas accidentally stumbled across the world of Equestria, specifically the town of Ponyville, he decided to study it, no matter how "different" he thought it was from his own world. At first, Hein's reaction was disbelief and shock. But his desire to mess with this innocent world was more important to him, than anything else.

-------When Douglas stumbled across Rainbow Dash during one of her flying sessions, Rainbow Dash freaks out and threatens to reveal his whereabouts and demanded an explanation of who, and what, he was. Feeling threatened, Douglas doesn't want Dash interfering with his identity. Hein's intentions were no good, and he activates the wristband, catching Rainbow Dash in the crystal blue crossbeam...she had no time to react, regardless of how fast she was. The beam traps rainbow dash, and Derpy Hooves by accident. Derpy innocently came over to see what the commotion was about.

------Meanwhile, Dash's friends detect something very wrong, as the elements of harmony were completely out of balance. Dash and Derpy were light years away from Equestria in a matter of seconds. The Mane 6 sense something very wrong, and Twilight's magic leads them to the spot of the last known Stargate portal. Not knowing anything about the Stargate, Twilight simply hones onto a weak signal with her magic...and using that magic, the Mane 6 along with Spike, lock in on the Stargate and are also teleported to the Final Fantasy world. Little did they know, what they were getting themselves into.

-----Meanwhile, Blaze, Nagase, Davenport, Grimm, and Captain Bartlett are on a routine flight training mission flying F-22 raptors. The new squad was now Razgriz, and not Wardog. The war was over, and there was no need for weapons. But flight missions were essential to keeping a pilots skill in check. One thing to note is, each time the Stargate is activated, the machine stores terrabites of information. Each world that is visited prior, a portal beam opens in random spots each time. When the portal in Equestria is activated, it also creates a beam over Osea airspace. Just by shear coincidence or destiny, Razgriz and their F-22's fly straight into the beam. Talk about the ultimate scientific experiment gone wrong. Kids, don't try this at home.

----So now, the Mane 6 plus derpy and Spike are thrown into a world of alien phantoms, barrier cities, and a place where friendship is hard to come by overall. Its nothing Aki and her team have not seen before, but they were not expecting the Stargate to work...let alone this. What evil is Douglas Hein up to? What will the ponies do to survive and return home? How the heck is Blaze, Edge, Chopper, Archer, and Heartbreak One going to comprehend what has happened? STAY TUNED (That is, if this will be in demand). -STEEL MATT

 

.......................................................a huge burst of blue light filled the room with blinding results. At the same time, I heard the sound of some type of aircraft appear over the city outside the barrier, and the same blue light. As the light in the room cleared, my eyes peered through the protective glass. I saw Douglas Hein, just who we were looking for. but......whats...what are those things?....they look like....horse creatures. -Aki

 

Dr. Sid opens the steel security door, securing the Stargate containment room. He stares into Hein's eyes............."what...what have you done?"

[Expired delta 76]

Wow bro you got talent bro keep going

[Prince Lightning Da Cute 619]

I must say firstly Welcome to the Herd before another pony tries to ninja me...

Edited February 1, 2012 by TagTeamCast

[Steel Matt 250]

Sorry, I forgot to mention. The summary of the story misses a lot of background information. If you are unfamiliar with Ace Combat 5, and Final Fantasy the Spirits Within, WIKI works! That will provide some missing links. Final Fantasy the Spirits within and Ace Combat 5 can probably be bought for $30 total! Of course, you will need free time, and a PS2. I have yet to solve the mysterious Chopper coming to life again. But I could not leave him out of the story.

[Prince Lightning Da Cute 619]

Wow bro you got talent bro keep going

 

see what i mean Ninja'd

Any way I hope you love it here! Make lots of friends and fun, my friend.

But i was scanning your story and as soon as i say Ragriz i knew the Unsung war(being a veteran since the game before up to now). i don't believe that they would come together that well to be honest, i can't see Twilight piloting a Raptor or Nagase in Celestia's court, it doesn't come easliy my friend, but i will fully read it for a full view.

[Expired delta 76]

see what i mean Ninja'd

Any way I hope you love it here! Make lots of friends and fun, my friend.

But i was scanning your story and as soon as i say Ragriz i knew the Unsung war(being a veteran since the game before up to now). i don't believe that they would come together that well to be honest, i can't see Twilight piloting a Raptor or Nagase in Celestia's court, it doesn't come easliy my friend, but i will fully read it for a full view.

 

Lol I didint Ninja u you Ninjad your self. Edited February 1, 2012 by Name62

[Prince Lightning Da Cute 619]

Before you continue, you must use better despriptive lanuage in the chapters or i cant visualize it and secondly you might be crossing alittle too many fandoms, no? as of current you have 4

Stargate=Star Trek (Star Wars is better)

AC5 with Blaze and them

FF something i cant ever keep up with all of them.....

and

MLP these are some of the Largest Fandoms in the Internet along with Ace Combat.

i suggest making it more original then mixing together the story lines. i had the same problem with my book had to Rewrite half of it and completely scrape the Storyline. so i'm done lets see what you got, My Friend?

 

Lol I didint Ninja u you Ninjad your self.

 

Wrong quote

[Steel Matt 250]

Before you continue, you must use better despriptive lanuage in the chapters or i cant visualize it and secondly you might be crossing alittle too many fandoms, no? as of current you have 4

Stargate=Star Trek (Star Wars is better)

AC5 with Blaze and them

FF something i cant ever keep up with all of them.....

and

MLP these are some of the Largest Fandoms in the Internet along with Ace Combat.

i suggest making it more original then mixing together the story lines. i had the same problem with my book had to Rewrite half of it and completely scrape the Storyline. so i'm done lets see what you got, My Friend?

 

Wrong quote

 

I agree! The Stargate concept was just a term that sounded better. (Star wars is better!) But to avoid going off topic, perhaps creating a simpler version would suffice. Thinking about it was one thing, and the above story line plot summary is un-edited. But as I think more and more, I can throw in as much sci-fi stuff as I want...but if the integrity of the personalities and interactions with the characters is incorrect, it ruins the story. And incorporating such integrity with such a large plot would prove to be extremely challenging. You also have a good point on the descriptive language. Reading over it again and again, there may be too much overlap. Only a continued thought process will tell! Thanks for the feedback guys! That was quick!

[Prince Lightning Da Cute 619]

I agree! The Stargate concept was just a term that sounded better. (Star wars is better!) But to avoid going off topic, perhaps creating a simpler version would suffice. Thinking about it was one thing, and the above story line plot summary is un-edited. But as I think more and more, I can throw in as much sci-fi stuff as I want...but if the integrity of the personalities and interactions with the characters is incorrect, it ruins the story. And incorporating such integrity with such a large plot would prove to be extremely challenging. You also have a good point on the descriptive language. Reading over it again and again, there may be too much overlap. Only a continued thought process will tell! Thanks for the feedback guys! That was quick!

 

its better to find mistakes like this early or you'll end up like me one day figuring out "oh my hay this sucks" and rewriting the entire storyline and handwritten pages. nice job come back when you've figured it out more clearly

[Steel Matt 250]

its better to find mistakes like this early or you'll end up like me one day figuring out "oh my hay this sucks" and rewriting the entire storyline and handwritten pages. nice job come back when you've figured it out more clearly

 

Indeed! The initial foundation is there. But there is a long thought process ahead. BTW, you mentioned something about your story. If it is up on the web, I would love to check it out bro!

 

Hope everypony has a good night! (and I used everpony instead of everybody in a real life conversation by accident recently...yeah!)

[DJ MUFF1N D3RP 322]

sWelcome to the forum, Steel Matt! Like everypony else has said, you're going to love your time here and make a lot of new friends. Like I always say, the more ponies in our little forum family, the more fun we have!

[FLUTTERSHYGUY 12]

Wow you're good!