private Red Dwarf: Series P

[Umbral Noir 1,556]

The Cat was admiring himself in the mirror, as usual. "Yeow! You're one fine lookin guy!" he said to his reflection, grinning. "I still wonder why you're not surrounded by beautiful lady cats yet? Maybe they're wanting to play hide-and-seek." He turned away from the mirror and shuffled away. "I'm coming for ya, lady cats!" he cried. "Ready or not, here I come!"

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

Kristine Kochanski was sitting at the console, thinking to herself how annoying it was that there were several guys on board ship and no other women. After all, men didn't listen, couldn't multitask and never understood the importance of such things as a tub of cottage cheese with pineapple chunks in, or the correct placing of the tomato ketchup in the kitchen.

[stainesbrony 219]

Arnold Rimmer, the Hologram, was sitting down at a table with his results for his astronav exam.

"Whatever I get, I will be fine. Heigh-Ho, pip and dandy." He opened the letter.

"CAN YOU NEVER, EVER SUCCEED AT ANYTHING, YOU USELESS RANCID CANCEROUS SACK OF SMEGGING SICK!"

He started to go into resentment overload.

"AND TALKING ABOUT SMEGHEADS, I'M GLAD THAT SMEGHEADED LISTER ISN'T HERE! IF HE WAS, I'D..."

He went into resentment overload.