My OC! Reviews and comments would be appreicated.

[♞RedLotus♞ 360]

Hello guys. I Recently came up with an OC and I was wondering if you guys could review it. I wrote a description of him and a few more details. Those of you who might not enjoy reading a lot might not like it, but for those of you who do, please do not hesitate to share your opinions. I am new to this community so I look forward to meeting you guys.

 

 

MLP FIM OC: Ocelot

 

Appearance: Has Manila/caramel colored fur. His mane and tail is brown, with streaks of black highlights. His eyes are large, round, and are colored brown. He often wears a scarlet/red jacket with a hood in the back.

 

Talents: Ocelot is well trained in martial arts, and has a good amount of sneak in him. He is known to be a fighter, adventurer, and quick-thinker.

 

Special talents (Magic): While Ocelot isn’t much of a mage such as twilight sparkle; he is quite talented at using illusion spells. His most notorious trick is being able to shape shift into any pony, and mimic their voice.

 

Cutie mark: His cutie mark is a skull, representing his passion for deadly martial arts. His cutie mark also serves as a warning sign to his opponents.

 

Description: Ocelot is a unicorn pony with a unique background history. He is a young stallion, with the blood of several feline creatures. Legend says that his ancestors were the first ancient ponies to live, having blood of lions, tigers, panthers, and even cats in them. They were portrayed as a royal family, who lived in the jungles and deserts, the first ponies to create pyramids, and worship cats. Dating back to recent times, ocelot was born in the everfree forest. No one really knows what happened to his parents, all he remembers is being raised by pride of lions. Since he was the smallest in the pride, and had fuzzy, pointy ears, everyone called him ocelot which refers to another species of smaller wild cats. When ocelot became an adolescent, he decided to start a journey on his own. Ocelot left the pride and wondered throughout the everfree, seeking a new life. He wanted to learn how to use his horn, and how to live with other ponies of his kind. Living in the everfree forest taught him a lot about survival. Ocelot even learned ancient martial arts from the everfree called “the red lotus” one of the most difficult forms of fighting. The art of the red lotus requires the ability to do swift moves, only standing on two legs, and using the upper-front hoofs as arms for punching. Ocelot had the strength to balance his whole weight on just two legs, and was stealthy enough to run, jump, and do high kicks in the air. After a few years of training during his adolescence, ocelot began to practice ancient magic from the everfree. He learned how to shape shift into other ponies, which became beneficial to him for when he wanted a quick disguise. When Ocelot became 16 (human years) he finally finished his voyage and found a new home in ponyville. Ocelot was able to find a decent tree house near fluttershy’s cottage with the help of a merchant he befriended. His new home was furnished with beautiful china, pottery, and artifacts from the everfree forest. Ocelot got a job as an adventurer, meaning he would do tasks for other ponies that were too dangerous or difficult for them to do by themselves. He would often raid dungeons in order to find artifacts that he could sell to museums, steal goods from monsters, or simply beat up any pony that was causing trouble to his customers; of course, ocelot always did it for a certain price. As of today, ocelot spends most of his time jumping from tree to tree, and preforming stunts on roof tops of buildings. Having the blood of the felines, Ocelot can see in the dark, and has sharp fangs. He loves wearing his red hoodie, and almost never takes it off; often times he will hide his identity by wearing the hood over his head. In the pockets of his jacket, he stores a large supply of smoke bombs, which let out large clouds of pure red smoke when they hit the ground. Ocelot uses them to blind people that might try to harm him, or simply to escape from a scene without being noticed. Although Ocelot is a stealthy and strong fighter, he is kind to all the ponies that he meets. He was won almost every martial arts tournament, considering the fact that the art of the red lotus is one of the most powerful, and very few ponies have mastered it.

[Lightning Dancer 28]

Things I Like About Him:

-Decent color scheme

-Not tacky or clownish

-Mane and tail go good with his appearance.

 

Things I feel Should Be Change:

- Eyes are to soft for what he should be they are almost baby like

-Ears look elfish giving him an odd appearance.

-Skull cutie marks are extremely common and cutie marks are supposed to be unique.

 

 

Over all Rating: 7/10