"I was stupid... so stupid"

-Sayaka Miki, Episode 8, I Was Stupid... So Stupid

 

 

 

 

So Sayaka... where to begin? How about with hugs? Seriously, just hugs. If by some strange, bizarre turn of events our dimension ever happens to somehow crossover and meld with the Madoka Magica universe, and you just so happen to meet Sayaka Miki one day, seriously, just give this poor girl a hug. Because there is no character in this entire show with a more bleak, tragic, or depressing future than her. That's not to say she can't achieve happiness and inner peace, oh no, she does by the end of the show. But even in what is supposed to be the absolute best of possible timelines, she still ends up dying. Of course, inevitable death at such a young age alone is not the only reason that I'd say that Sayaka has, out of the entire group of magical girls, the most tragic future. It's everything that leads to the inevitable result that makes her so tragic.

 

Where does this tragedy begin? With normality, actually. If you really think about it, Sayaka is the most normal as far as talents or traits go out of all the magical girls. Homura, Kyoko, Mami, Madoka, they all had something, be it natural talent or a specific personal trait, that made them have quite a bit of raw potential as magical girls and capable of becoming fierce forces to be reckoned with. Not so with Sayaka. In fact, I'd say Hitomi would fare about as well as Sayaka does if she became a magical girl, at least as far as natural talent goes. The only reason Hitomi doesn't end up getting involved directly in all of the magical girl business and Sayaka does is because Hitomi's kind of a third wheel (not to mention considerably quieter and more demure than the outspoken Sayaka) whereas Sayaka is nigh inseparable from Madoka. In fact, that's probably a big reason DashForever loves Sayaka so much; she's fiercely loyal to her friends and loved ones, a trait shared by, of course, DF's best pony, Rainbow Dash. But even her loyalty doesn't really make her a force to be reckoned with as a magical girl. Kyubey makes this very clear as soon as Kyoko shows up on the scene, constantly reminding Sayaka that she really doesn't have that much in the way of natural talent. Combine that with her at first naive, and eventually destructive, personal choices and approach to wielding her powers, along with some terrible, terrible things that happen to her, and Sayaka embarks on probably the most drastic, jarring, and rapid self-destruction of any character in the show. And it all starts with, quite simply, who she is: on paper, Sayaka is not supposed to be a magical girl. So what makes her such a beautiful character, one who you simply can't help but feel for, root for, and empathize with to the very end?

 

It's not her loyalty. That's an admirable trait to be sure, but it doesn't help her at all as she spirals forward to being consumed by despair. It's certainly not her decision-making. She's impulsive, doesn't think things through after she makes her wish, and approaches witch-hunting in a very naive way, probably out of loyalty to Mami and wanting to respect her memory by being a magical girl just like her (which she really can't just because, as mentioned, she doesn't have the same talent or intelligence Mami did). What makes this character work so well and so very tragic?

 

Quite simply, love. Love is the most beautiful thing that Sayaka has to offer to anyone in this show, and, despite the fact that she is very limited naturally in what she herself can accomplish as a person, when offered the opportunity to do so, Sayaka chooses in any timeline possible, each and every time, to offer up everything she has all for one single, incredible act of love. I am referring, of course, to Sayaka's wish to heal Kyousuke Kamijou, the prodigy violinist who she loves with all her heart. Now yes, perhaps she hoped when she made the wish that this would allow the two of them to be together, that there'd be a happy ending for both of them and she'd finally get to tell him how she felt. And then some things happened. Let's see... she learned that her soul now inhabited her Soul Gem and that she now controlled an artificial body. And then her longtime close friend Hitomi told her that she was in love with Kyousuke as well, but that since she was pretty sure Sayaka loved him more that she'd give her 24 hours to take a crack at him before she did. And then she suffered a mental breakdown as a result, getting more, and more, and more depressed and detached from the world... yeah...

 

 

The show did an incredibly interesting thing with Sayaka and her wish throughout the entire series. After Hitomi's revelation, you really started getting the sense that Sayaka's wish was just a stupid, reckless decision on her part. She herself broke down with Madoka (in one of the most incredibly touching scenes of the show, if I do say so myself) and admitted that, knowing what she was now, she could not conscientiously try to share her love with Kyousuke, it just wouldn't feel right to her at that point. She knew that she'd never be able to share her love with him after giving up so much for him, and that instead one of her best friends in the world was going to end up with him, who even admitted herself that she didn't love Kyousuke nearly as much as Sayaka did. The show simply crushed Sayaka (and the audience, for that matter) with the shocking but indisputable fact that hers would be an unrequited love, despite everything she'd given up for the boy she loved. By the time she transformed into a witch, it just seemed like her wish had been useless, simply a mere part of Kyubey's grand scheme to keep Madoka fixed on the path to use her wish and become a magical girl.

 

But then Episode 12 rolled around. When Madoka created a completely new timeline, one thing in particular did not change... Sayaka still died. She didn't become a witch, she didn't go through a completely self-destructive spiral ending only in complete, total, and utter despair, but she still died as a magical girl. But she died happy and at peace. She died happy, even though she was saddened by the fact that yes, she never could be with Kyousuke. She still died happy knowing that he was going to have an amazing girl in his life in Hitomi and that, even more importantly, he was going to get to share his music and talents with the world and do what he loved. And then the true value of her wish hit me. That was when I realized that her wish alone was the most beautiful aspect of Sayaka. Even knowing that she could never be with Kyousuke, even knowing that one of her best friends would be instead, EVEN knowing that she would be pretty much laying down her life in order to make Kyousuke's greatest dream a reality, Sayaka still made her wish, no matter the timeline. That's how deep her love for Kyousuke went. She decided that bringing the greatest miracle into his life he could possibly hope for, no matter what it cost her, was more important than anything else she could ever have or ever do, or hope to do. And she decides every single time, in every single timeline. No matter how much she may screw up, no matter how many mistakes she may make, Sayaka knows that, by making this wish, she can most definitely make this one dream become a reality, and that's all she needs to be happy, even if it doesn't give her everything she'd ever wanted and costs her so much. That pure, unadulterated selflessness, such an unconditional act of love, love which knows it will be unrequited, is just beautiful, plain and simple. No matter how things ever turn out for her, Sayaka is always willing to make that wish, and for me, that pure, sincere act of love is one of the most beautiful in the show, and definitely her highest quality as a character.

 

 

Now of course there are plenty of other things to like about Sayaka. For me personally, one trait of hers that really hits home is that her greatest fear, at least I think, is loneliness. She covers this insecurity of hers up by trying to be the loudmouthed jokester of the group, and honestly, I can relate, I really can. I love making people laugh, but sometimes I use humor as a cover to avoid addressing more serious matters in my life, to act like everything's hunky-dory when it's really not, and I think that Sayaka does exactly the same thing. She's a far more serious girl than she likes letting on with her friends (I think a very telling scene that shows how uncomfortable she is acting serious around her school friends is when Hitomi reveals her crush on Kyousuke, Sayaka just kind of awkwardly laughs her way through that conversation without once getting serious), and like I said, I completely understand that behavior, so really, in the end, I found that I related most to Sayaka out of any of the main characters, even if she wasn't my favorite character.

 

Her desire to just do good things for others is an admirable trait as well. I like that the show doesn't beat around the bush and flat out admits that, most of the time, good intentions aren't enough, and that often the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but still, you can't help but admire Sayaka's tireless desire to do right by others even if she herself realizes she's a pretty average girl who's just not that naturally talented at anything really. She knows what's good, she knows what's right, she just has a hard time actually accomplishing these things she wants to do for others. But still, as previously mentioned when I discussed her wish, in the end Sayaka shows that even the most seemingly normal of people with the littlest to offer in the way of talents can still bring something profoundly beautiful into the world, even if it comes at a great cost.

 

I'll discuss her relationship with Kyoko in greater detail in the next review, but I will say this now. In the show's canon, I don't think that Sayaka, in any of the timelines by the time she perished or became a witch, ever once held romantic feelings for Kyoko. Her love always was and always would be for Kyousuke, as Episode 12 itself pretty much confirmed when it wrapped up Sayaka's subplot. That's not to say of course that fans can't ship Sayaka and Kyoko together, that's perfectly valid for plenty of reasons. I'm just saying that, canonically, I think that, in the original timeline of the show, Sayaka by the end had respect and even sympathy for Kyoko, but at most only the earliest seeds of friendship planted, nothing more, when she became a witch. Even in the best of all possible timelines Kyoko mentions after Sayaka dies that they were just beginning to become friends. So yeah, those two have a great and very complex relationship, but for Sayaka's part, I just don't think she ever felt the same things for Kyoko that Kyoko might have felt about her in the show's present-day timeline (though I haven't watched "Rebellion" yet and, from what I've heard, some things are different in that).

 

Finally, I've got to say it, but Sayaka has THE BEST costume out of all the girls. Just look at this thing!!!

 

 

The sword, the colors, but most importantly, THE MOTHERBUCKING CAPE (because why wouldn't that be the most important thing for me? ), it all works to perfection! It's just such a cool outfit, I absolutely love the colors and style and, I don't know, it just works for me in so many ways. It kind of loses its effect whenever Sayaka starts bucking up on the battlefield, but still, that doesn't change the fact that that outfit is pretty bucking awesome! Nice that Kyubey was nice enough to at least let Sayaka win the lottery when it comes to magical girl outfits.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So that about wraps up my review of Sayaka Miki. For me, she was both a beautiful, terribly tragic character who I could surprisingly relate with to quite an extent, a great friend who tried her very hardest to be the best person she could be even if things didn't always work out as she hoped they would, one of the most emotionally compelling characters of the show, and overall, probably my third favorite character in the entire show. Glad to know she finally was able to end up in a timeline where she achieved the peace and happiness she deserved. If any character earned it, it certainly was her.