Previously on My Little Kony: Outdated References...
Your Messiah: "Goddammit. I thought I'd finally have the whole fucking place to myself."
Your Messiah (cont.): "My igloo DVR didn't record the premiere! SON OF A BITCH! THAT MEANS I HAVE TO GO TO.......D...Dailymotion..."
Dailymotion: "I've got a bird in the hoof for you!"
Twilight Sparkle: "Fuck the lessons."
Shining Armor: "Oh my God! Cadence! I haven't seen you in years!"
Cadence: "WHERE'S MAH FOCKIN CHAHLD SAPPORT?!
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Are we all still alive?
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Goddammit. I thought I'd finally have the whole fucking place to myself. Oh well. I guess I should work on the review and start fixing this mess. Jolted opinions abound I see, but looks like we're all pretty sound. None of the "RUINED FOREVER" screams I was seeing before. Maybe this premiere saved itself? Eh, let's crack into the first episode and rape Celestism once and for all.
This is a spoilers review, so if you haven't seen "The Crystalling",
Previously on My Little Phony...
CUE THE TITLE SEQUENCE!
*La-La-La, My Little Phony, we're running out of ideas, My Little Pony, until you all share your money with me*
Spoilers ahead, this is your only warning.
Alright, guys, it's Monday! You know what that means! Yes, that's correct. When we last left our little ponies, they'd been transported to yet another dimension where things suck and villains win. Their lives were being threatened by Fluttershy, so they're totally
Alright, guys! Time to review another episode from season 1 of MLP, because I want to stab season five until it vomits blood. And what fantastic marvel of writing do I have the pleasure of reviewing next after "Griffon the Brush Off?"
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*Stares at army of Dark Qiviuts outside my door*
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"The Cutie Re-Mark" it is!
Alright, this is a spoilers review, and since it's a recent episode, if you
The following quote applies to this review in retrospect. Please read. (Added 11/30/2016)
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Alright, alright, this isn't a new episode, but I had to come back to this forum after a long hiatus from the community in general (no special reason, I've just been busy with other things) to talk about this episode, even if it's been a while since I've seen it. Normally, I'd say "thi
I sure do have a problem with jumping around seasons as far as reviews are concerned, but I had to get on this episode because this is a very special occasion. 100 episodes of the third one of the best TV series of all-time! It feels like just yesterday I was a 12-year-old asshead sitting on my bed flipping through channels just to happen to catch an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic ("Stare Master"). Granted, I changed the channel when it was over and didn't become a fan of the sho
Previously on My Little Pony...
...bad stuff happened...
...cue the title sequence!
This is a spoilers review, so if you haven't seen the premiere, you better run for your life if you can, little girl.
So, on to part two of "Call of the Cutie Pox Markless Google Maps Chronicles." Where we left off (by the way, check out my review of part one by clicking here or some shit), Twilight and the Crickets got their cutie marks snagged by Sunlight Glimmsher and...actually, that's it.
*Posts one entry in 8 months*
Oh, hi, I'm back-ish.
So, why haven't I posted?
I dunno.
Why haven't I gone back and reviewed other episodes of the show?
Because.
Great, so the fifth season of MLP has finally aired. I'm ready for a seasons worth of disappointment, rehashed morals, and a 100th episode that will either win or fail. What better way to start of the season no one asked for with the episode that made everyone shrug? This...is...
CUTIE MARKLESS!
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Previously on Zorc and Pals...
PrymeStriker: I've scheduled a meeting with a board of feminists and that conference room isn't going to bomb itself.
Discord: Okay, but only if you fondle my balls while you're down there.
Scorpan: yo, deez ponies ain't so bad, I'd smash 'em
Tirek: no, daz gey
PrymeStriker: It's like 9/11. A pleasant surprise.
Twilight Princess Sparkle: Yeah, Celestia, this is your dumbest idea yet. And this is comi
Welcome back to the season four wrap-up of My Little Pony: Friendship is Why the Fuck Am I Still Watching This Fucking Show!
Here we are. The end of season four, the end of the "what did I think of this episode back when it aired" arc-thingy, and on our 99th review facing the second part of this finale as Review #100. There's a lot to wrap up around here and very little time to do it. I've scheduled a meeting with a board of feminists and that conference room isn't going
Welcome back to the season four wrap-up of My Little Friendship: Pony is Magic/AIDS!
Today, we're taking a look at the penultimate episode before the two-part season finale, Equestria G-...........wait a minute....................okay, no, good, that says "Equestria Games", not "Equestria Girls". *shivers*........ Ooookay...so, this is the episode that finally finishes the Equestria Games arc that we've been building up since the twelfth episode of season three: "Games Po
Y'know what I just realized?
It's time for the SEASON FOUR WRAP UP OF MY LITTLE PENIS: FUCKING IS MAGIC!
We're only four episodes to the conclusion of season four! Can you believe it? I can't believe it. Can you believe it? I can't believe it. Can you believe it? And with this comes a few announcements for the "schedule" of future reviews. I intend to wrap up season four by the end of this month on June 30th. Yes, that's two weeks away, which means today we re
Wh
...Really?
...Hmm...I must've been smoking something (likely weed, given that quote is from 4/20), 'cause I always remembered this as a really bad episode. Eh, well, let's see which two evils I go with. This is "Trade Ya".
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So this episode opens up with some of the worst exposition I've ever heard. Pink
Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3 / Somebody please decapitate me / I need some weed or a nose full of speed / I like big tits.............err...........greed.
There, I finally wrote out a poem that's not a haiku and it only took me 77 entries to do so. Now you can all shower me with money and hot naked women. What did I think of this episode when it first aired?
................K. This is "Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3"
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Just before we begin, I'd like some props for this episode literally being 4x20 without me making any Applejack eats celery/smokes weed jokes.......................................
...mostly because there were no opportunities to do so. Anyways, blazeit:
Really now? Well, if "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils" is any indication, then maybe this season can save itself after all.
....wait a minute, I just remembered something. Josh Haber wrote this epis
What did I episode of this think when aired it first?
Really now? Hmmmmmm.....those are some big shoes to fill. Well, let's see how time can fuck things up. This is "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils".
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This episode opens up with Sweetie Belle waiting on Rarity to overview the costumes she made for her school play. However, Rarity is f
Praise the day chopped sperm tail medley was invented as a dish. Let's see what my opinions were on this episode when it first aired:
........Well, I've not written such thrilling, well-thought out reviews with my classic stamp of comedy since "Simple Ways". Let's dive into "Maud Pie".
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So this episode begins with all the ponies
Ah, right, so...why wasn't there a review last week.......hmmmmmmm.....
...College applications? Yeah, that's a good excuse. I'll go with that. College applications.
Right, so, let's take a look at my opinions on this episode back when it first aired:
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The fuck?
...............I didn't post anything about "Somepony to Watch Over Me" when it aired?
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Just the title of this episode alone makes me want to go to my nearest orphanage and burn it down with a single Molotov cocktail, and then film it and use it as my Patreon trailer. Let's see if my sour-ass memories were shared when it first aired.
.......................th....the fuck? I liked the Breezie episode? B....But I thought that I thought this episode was trash! Well, I also thought I could speak English and breathe, but time has a way of changing things. And how. Let's see if th
So I put up a banner....
Okay, let's see. "Twilight Time".........................................................................................................................
FINALLY! A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT TWILIGHT MASTURBATING!
It's like the Pony Gods have answered my prayers. This'll be rrriiiiiiich. Alright, as per matter of course, it's time to take a trip down memory lane and see what I thought about this episode when it first aired.
Wow. That was the most
So I trench through the bullshit fuckazoid of "Rainbow Falls" and the unusually crap Discord episode of "Three's A Crowd" to be rewarded with "Pinkie Pride" and the ability to skip "Simple Ways"................for this piece of shit.
Luckily, to my recollection, "Filli Vanilli" was the episode that marked a turnaround in season four. Whereas with the first half of the season, every other episode was a steaming pile of horseshit, the second half stayed pretty consistent in quality. Ex
The following quote applies to this review in retrospect. Please read. (Added 11/30/2016)
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Oh, would you look at that. A blog feature I've never noticed.
Alright, so I've finally decided to get off my ass and set up a blog. Here's where I'll write episode reviews. As the only time I've ever done this before was with the Show Discussion topics, I'll have more fun posting my thoughts here as I won't
Once upon a time, there was this prick named PrymeStriker.
He hated an episode called "Rainbow Falls".
He's dead now.
The End.
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Well, I see we've redecorated around here. I don't like it. It means I have to reformat my series accordingly. And when every space is a double
I'm still kind of dead from "Rainbow Falls"...*vomit*
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God I hope this is better than "Rainbow Falls". "Three's A Crowd" opens up with Spike receiving the mail. Twilight immediately murders Spike, however, so that she can catch hold of the mail and see if Princess Cadence said yes to coming over this weekend. Is this the Equestrian equivalent to going down in the DMs?
On the down side, I couldn't get to the review on Friday due to reasons I've mentioned elsewhere.
On the up side, I have changed my avatar/morphed my form into something much more...aesthetically pleasing...than what I had before. Don't ask where this face comes from.
Anyways, on to bigger and better things. This, is "Rainbow Falls".
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Wait, this is "Rainbow Falls"?
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AwwwwwwwwwwwwwwFFFFFFF
