This will probably seem crazy but I swear to Lenin, Marx and God about what I saw last night outside my house, I need help identifying whether I'm just going insane or not..It seems like I'm going insane, but I am certain that I am not.
Okay so last night I was sitting at my computer desk drinking some vodka (One every other day, I'm cutting back.....don't judge me) when I heard a noise coming from outside. I glanced outside the window and saw the silhouette of a large creature. At first I
I can't dance to save my life. When did I come to this revelation? I've know it forever....
Dance Clubs.....Ha....sure love going to those. Especially when I can only do old fashion dances. I can waltz, and swing, and slow dance wonderfully in my opinion.
Yet when I enter a techno-pop kind of club that's when I start to hate people....more than usual.
Every dance I know is either sophisticated or really, really old. That doesn't fit in well...especially in 2012 in a dance club.
You all know me by now. I was born in the Soviet Union and grew up in Post-Soviet Russia for all of my life.
Even though the Union collapsed in 1991 (Actually, it fully collapsed in 1993) my parents and many of my neighbors in the small village I lived in, retained the ideals of communism.
In my village we hated Stalin and every man who was in charge after him.
The only good communist leaders were Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov (Lenin) and his close friend Lev Davidovich Bronsht
Well, past two days I've been feeling God-Awful. I've been hit with a big depression I guess.
When this happens it usually doesn't last long or hurt all that much, but I feel just horrid this time. So much sadness, is very weird. Hurts really bad this time. Not much in my life has really been wonderful. I have had many bad events happen in my short life. My life seems filled with awful things.
Weirdest part is, every time I try to kill myself it doesn't work. Since came to America I put
A couple months ago I used to have extremely depressing dreams all the time. Since 2006 I had them constantly.
They stopped right around the same time I got into MLP. (Coincidence?)
But last night I had one of the worst dreams I think I've ever had. I usually remember my dreams and my mother told me from a young age to always record my dreams in a journal.
Well this dream combined a tragic event in my life with MLP. I woke up in tears and was having a panic attack. That hasn't happ
Hey it's December, the month I hate the most.
As if any of you care, though I hope you at least give a thought, I might not be here.....for a while.
It's been like this before, I get depressed around the holidays because my wife died during them. It's hard to think about still.
I might "snap" out of it sooner though. Here's hoping I'll be back (or maybe not even leave )
Thank you for supporting me with all of your great personalities
Well, I've finally decided to get a video of me. One where I'm talking about Fluttershy or showing my house off? Nah, one where I perform a dance with my shirt off because I feel like doing so.
If you're weak of heart I'd suggest you leave. If you have trouble looking at the male body, I suggest you leave. If you're scared, then I suggest you run.
"I have Fluttershy by me and now Dimitri can't get me"-HistoricallyInaccurate
"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my wife go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look
Been a long time in my life since an engagement happened, and of course I mean the romantic one
One of my good friends recently got engaged to a woman he's been dating for about four years. I'm extremely happy for him. Is funny how at least more than half of my friends have someone in their lives. Can't mope about myself though, because that's extremely selfish.
I'm just really happy for my friend, and my other friends who are married. Only people who aren't married or engaged yet are m
The mind is a fantastic thing. How it works is fascinating. Intelligence, rational thinking, memory, motor functions, it's all so interesting.
I mean, I have no idea how I manage to stay sane. It's probably the alcohol....but I doubt that. Strong will power is something I don't really have especially when it comes to emotions. I might be smart, not bragging at all, sure I went to college young and have my doctorate but who really cares. I'm still screwed up in the head.
Can one retain th
This website: http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html
Is just fantastic. When I'm bored or depressed about...everything because I'm like that...I enjoy looking at all of the pictures on this site. History is my number one subject, but space and astronomy also interest me greatly.
Every day a new picture is added along with a great description and several links to pertaining articles or videos. Since I get depressed so often I find myself on this site a lot. This is one of my many pleasur
Now, I'm talking about real love. True love. Something that is the feeling for another human being with such great romantic, happy, protective, feelings.
Is it achievable? I believe so, I know so. My wife was my soulmate. She was a wonderful, angelic soul. Able to know that I am not perfect and have flaws. She accepted my flaws and considered me perfect for having them. I can safely say that I have experienced the truest love. I wanted to spend my whole life with her, but she was taken from
Hey, me again
Well, this time I rant idiotically about happiness. What makes me happy? Few things nowadays actually. Before the most tragic thing in my life happened my wife was the thing that made me happy. When I was sad she cheered me up immensely.
Just by looking at her smile it cheered me up. Seeing her pearly teeth shine, I remember the dimples on her face too...I'll never forget how she smiled at me. I'll never forget her.
Now though, lets skip two years after my wife passed
My brother, the alcoholic, partying, addictive personality of a man, told me over the phone yesterday that he found his dream girl. Told me he wants to marry this woman, and personally I feel like he's just joking with me. He's in his thirties and I've known him all my life obviously.
There's almost no way he'd fall in love with a girl here in Alaska. He knows almost everyone in the town we live in and I haven't seen him be in real love. He's the kind of guy who is what the Americans call a
Now you're all my dear comrades, but my bestest comrades have to be Kestrel, Motion Spark, Lightning Fluttershy, Winged Ratchet and HistoricallyInnacurate. Now don't worry I love you all, but these guys stand out of the crowd. They make me feel better about myself as a person and I'd just like to thank them for their support through laughter and serious conversations. Whenever i'm feeling down these guys always make me feel better. It's a awesome thing to have such great friends in here. Even if
Today is the day I've been dreading since the end of December last year.
Six years ago today was the worst day of my life, and will forever be the worst day of my life.
My wife died six years ago today, and every year since her death I've been in a bad mindset. I always wondered how I didn't end up killing myself these past years. Some kind of miracle I suppose.
For the first two years I was invoked in "other" activities and was a emotionless "hollow man". After that I became utte
I am doing game reviews? The inept at technology, traditional living, Soviet man? Answer: Yes, yes I am.
I recently saw a game being played on the youtube. I don't normally go on there, but my friend was showing me videos and he let me look around at other videos. I saw a trailer of this game called "Papers, Please" and it looked really interesting. A game about being an immigrant inspector at the border of a dystopian country. Obvious a reference to the USSR...where I was born
Thi
As you all know I was born in the Soviet Union in Leningrad. After being born there my parents went back to the small town we lived in. I grew up very strangely, my mother was a very religious woman who celebrated our culture constantly and my father was a full communist.
Normally you don't have religion in communism, but I guess I've made an exception
Well I have certain little things I do and believe in that most wouldn't understand. Little nicknames are something that Ameri
Now, I love space. I love it as much as I love history. Is up there among my list of loved things. All being my wife, history, my brother, Эмма, and my friends. Enough about my life, I'll talk about that later. This...this is time for my review of a fantastic simulator. Created by a Russian man too! Vladimir Romanyuk. Sounds familiar to me, but I highly doubt I know this man
Well back to the review. Space Engine isn't really a game, but is a simulator. A extremely fun simulator in which yo
