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About this blog
Stories, Reviews, and the occasional piece of justice that gets blocked in mere hours! All brought to you by RealityPublishing
Entries in this blog
MLP MOVIE PREQUEL STORY [lol]
eekwestreea grills: soomer shirts [port uno]
[MLP Movie 2017] HASBRO PULLS ANOTHER FAST ONE AND IT’S A REAL SHAME I’M OUT OF MONEY BECAUSE I COULD REALLY USE SOME MORE TOYS
gabeN STEALS MY WALLET (PART 2)
COUNTER STRIKE: FINANCIALLY EXHAUSTED (PART 1)
HOW 2 GIT GUD (Fighting Is Magic Review)
THE MLP MOVIE (Season 4 Premiere)
HASBRO PULLS A FAST ONE AND I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE ANY MORE OF THEIR TOMFOOLERY, PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE (MLPMovie 2017)
OH BOY. DON'T YOU LOVE FURRIES IN YOUR PONIES MOVIES? IMAGINE IF OPAL, RARITY'S CAT, HAD SUDDENLY GROWN LEGS, PUT ON A SWANKY JACKET, AND BEGAN TALKING LIKE BRAD (FLASH SENTRY). THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH HERE. WELL, AT LEAST THAT'S HOW I'D VOICE THIS CHARACTER. BRAD. (HOW MUCH YOU WANNA BET THIS CHARACTER IS FROM VANHOOVER?) SECONDLY, AND THE FIRST PIC, WE'VE GOT EDGY BLADEBURN, I.E., YOUR STEREOTYPICAL EDGY, REVENGE PLOT, FOUGHT TO PROTECT HER PEOPLE, BROKEN HORNED, MEME CHILD VOICED BY SOMEONE WHOSE LAST NAME IS LITERALLY, "BLUNT". MIGHT AS WELL GET SNOOP DOGG TO DO THIS ONE.
HMMM . . . I SWEAR. HE LOOKS LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN RUSSELL CROWE AND SHAWN CONNERY . . . HUH. I WOULD'VE HIRED BRAD PIT FOR THE PART, BUT WHATEVS. ANYWAY, LOOK EVERYONE! IT'S TIREK'S LONG FORGOTTEN COUSIN! I WONDER WHY HE NEVER MENTIONED HIM! WOW, WHAT'S WITH THAT BODY ARMOR? I DIDN'T KNOW HASBRO HAD A CONTRACT WITH LEGO! JEE, WHY DON'T WE HAVE PONY LEGOS AGAIN? THE OTHER OCS LOOK ALRIGHT. "QUEEN NOVA" (THE SHOTGUN, FOR ALL YOU FELLOW CS:GO PLAYERS), IS LIKE ONE OF THOSE SEAPONIES FROM G1. SO IF I DECIDE TO WATCH THE MOVIE (AFTER SEEING THIS, I'VE GOTTEN SOME DOUBTS), EXPECT TO HEAR SOME SHOOBEDOO IN THE CHEAP SEATS. OTHER THAN THAT, I REALLY HOPE THIS MOVIE DOES WELL. IF IT DOESN'T, THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. WITH THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING, THE MOVIE DOESN'T LOOK TOO PROMISING. I LOVE YOU, MLP; BUT THIS IS A LITTLE TOO FAR. I'M GONNA PACK MY SUITCASE FOR THE MOMENT'S NOTICE. PLEASE DON'T SCREW THIS UP, HASBRO. FOR ONCE, I BEG OF YOU, DON'T DO IT. THANKS,
-RE, THE WANNA-BE HORSIE FAMOUS BUT TOO IGNORANT AND LAZY TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, PUB
THE PAXXY AWARDS (2017)
Wow, February 2nd? Has it been that long? What have I been doing all this time?
Huh. When did I buy that again? Ah well. ---
So last month, I purchased tickets for the infamous, "PAX SOUTH 2017". It was only for a single day, but I felt that was enough to satisfy my gaming taste buds. In a sense, it was; but there was still much adventure to be had. And by adventure, I mean Switch. Nintendo Switch was there. I had the amazing experience of waiting in line for 3 hours just to play Legend of Zelda (another hour-half to play the other games). It's gotta be the most innovative thing I've ever come across (the lines). In order to wait in line for the Switch, you had to travel all the way to the back of the convention center (near these really damp pipelines and whatnot) just to stand in line that moved once every forty-minutes. Of course, everyone had their 3DS (I wish I had), so I doubt many of them even knew there was a line. In fact, during the "Pitch Your Game" panel (really funny, btw), there was this mirror ceiling that, by looking at it, you could count all the little screens from about 300 different people. Damn, I really wish I'd brought my 3DS. . . So! What else did the convention have to offer? Why, it's the VALVE STORE, of course! Buy CS:GO Pins for $10.00 (In a blind bag)! What are the ratios? 1:1 Baggage. There are no others. However, no Valve store is without a few delicacies. There were no Steam Sales, but they did have a killer CS:GO Desk-Wide Mouse Pad for a good $34.99 (kys myself). I also bought a Corsair gaming mouse . . . but that wasn't from Pax. . . But the REAL gem of PAX was the We Love Fine market. They had EVERYTHING anyone would want. Costumes? Check. Board games? Check. Overpriced pins? Check. T-Shirts? Check. PONY SHIRTS???? Double Check. Yes, I bought myself a pony shirt for only 25 bucks . . . talk about roadside robbery. . . On the plus side! I wore it all day today (Feb 2nd)! Got no reaction from anyone 'cause people were too busy looking at their phones. All in all, the convention was great! I got a few famous League of Legends players to sign my badge and even saw the entire team of Luminosity (After their spanking defeat in an Overwatch National) in a nearby restaurant! Don't worry, Luminosity. I still love ya for being there. (I don't watch much eSports, but I've been getting into the CS:GO Tournies)
--- I know it's been a while (and my writing's a little rusty), but I'm going to (again) try to get back into the rhythm. Considering the move, there's going to be a lot more activity in my life, so I'll be pushing more daily entries out there. Not sure if you noticed the change in cover formats (concerning the inclusion of the Seasons and Episodes), but I figured it'd be easier if it were designed that way. I've been getting a bit more corporate since the turn of 2017; it's gonna be a big year; strap yourselves in, we're going in with a bang! On other news, I'm hosting a movie night (hopefully) every Friday night at 6PM Central. (If I'm not there, spam me until I answer) This is going to be on my "RabbitCast" room; so if you're interested in weekly movie nights, we discuss the film on our Discord server! Feel free to jump into the action there Update on the 5k Special: I have the cover for it done, but I'm going to need a bit more time to redo the session with my Scribe (the world-renowned, "dood" who took notes last time). It's been a long time since we first pulled it off; we're going to need more time to fix my dulled memory. (At this rate, it'll be a 10k special) Other than that, all is good; I'll see you on the flip side! (Be sure to check the links at the bottom) -RealityPublishing Discord: https://discord.gg/9H7jNKG
RabbitCast (Movie Night; only open during stream): https://www.rabb.it/Visualboy011
FiMFiction: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/RealityPublishing The SWEET pony tee shirt: http://www.welovefine.com/all-mens/the-mane-12-12539.html
YEEEEEHAAAAWWWW, HORSEVILLE (TEXTEX OF 'MURICA)
So last week, I touched ground in the good 'ol US of A! It was quite a ride and I slept not a wink knowing that just across the ocean was the land of opportunity. Don't get me wrong, I've been to America before, but never in a sense of "moving". Y'see, before, it was more of, "Don't worry, we'll eat these burgers next year. Then you'll really have a taste for them."
Now it's something along the lines of, "Damn, why did I eat so many burgers? I'm never going to eat again."
In the words of GRAND MOM, "Life is like a bad sandwich. You keep taking each bite hoping it'll get better. Next thing you know, you've finished the sandwich."
(You bet I'm bolding that. I expect to see that in the "PonyVerse Yearbook", I wanna see my face plastered over the "Least Likely to Succeed" title bearing my name, "RiPalityPublishing: The Worst Blogger, but a Great AWP.") (Make it happen, mods. Please. We can let it be our little secret. I won't tell anyone I bribed you.) (If you couldn't tell by now, it's great to be back)
SO! What's new in America compared to Jampam? Sizes, people, ghetto, technology (a slight demotion), and, of course, the first thing I see while greeted into this great country: BAD AIRPLANE SECURITY (Talk about kicking 2017 off with an exciting one. . . a rant about air-marshals) So what's so bad about American security? Well, the first thing is where to begin. . . Y'see, the problem with America is that for some reason we have this strange philosophy where in order to simplify something, we have to over-complicate it first. And with a herd of fumbling Americans "RushB"-ing through the lines, it gets very, very messy. So how do you complicate something as simple as a line? Aren't customs supposed to be a "get from Point-A to Point-B without getting your toothpaste stolen"? Not in America (save for the toothpaste part). Nope! Here's how they have it set up: Firstly, separate the lines into two; one for priority (which is bogus since no one uses it) and other being the economy skrubs (like me). Whichever line you take doesn't matter because you'll always get lost in the heat of customs. Second, split the two lines again into four different x-ray machines. Sure, that sounds simple enough on paper. More machines equals faster progress, right? Ehh . . . not when you've got a lot of extra crap being separated from the luggage just so they can do a "security check". Now, everything up to this point is rather straight forward. You follow lines, get caught in a bit of lag, what's the deal? Y'see, if you've ever been in the gaming affair long enough, you'll learn about a little something called, "RNG", or "Random Number Generator"; it determines random hit ratios, health points, to critical hits (Don't worry, I just looked it up). Why am I bringing this up? Because only at American airports do they have, "RIB", which, of course, stands for: "RANDOM INSPECTION BULLSHNIKIES". (Seriously, what else?) I usually comply with the terms of the officials, but today was something a little different. That was my last flight leaving from Aussie, Texas and it was scheduled to leave approx. 15 minutes after our previous flight landed. So we were in a bit of a rush and getting through security wasn't on our list of priorities. Fun fact: My father, about seven or so years ago, gave me this nifty little external hard drive that I still use to this day. On the back, however, is the coolest part. It's got this two-inch green sticker that reads: "This medium is unclassified U.S. Government Property". How cool is that? So as we're sprinting through the lines, I noticed one thing odd. The security guard operating the x-ray, pulls aside my prized gift: Desktop 6.0 (My new laptop). At that moment, my head was spinning. What's wrong with my laptop? Do I stash weed in my sleep? What kind of "hazards" do my 2015-built HP productivity laptop have that someone else's doesn't? We were held up for quite a while. I had to ask one of the "officers" why my laptop was "stolen". His answer?
"It's been selected for a random check"
Here's where the harddrive comes in. Y'see, I'm a really big wire-carrier. If you see me carrying a backpack, chances are, it's got about 5 pounds of wires and other electronics. (Always gotta be prepared, amiright?) And just behind my laptop, ON THE SECURITY BELT, was a big 'ol, green crate of wires (all from me), with that silly little hard-drive (suspicious as it is) and enough copper-wire to build me a taser. Did they touch it? Nope! They didn't even look at it. But of course, they go for the laptop, the only thing that "looks" suspicious enough for a random check. I don't know if they're going by numbers, or by pure dumb luck; but they really should consider a better way of playing RN-Jesus.
When we finally arrived at the hotel, it turns out they inspected my baggage for "hazardous materials" as well. At least they folded my clothes. -RealityPublishing
I realized I've written 5 MLPForum pages of these blog entries; Happy New Year, everypony! (I'm still trying to find the photos for the 5k special. At that time, it'll probably be 6k. Rip me.) Discord: https://discord.gg/6fNjXFq
PONE WARS: GAMELOFT STRIKES BACK
About two days ago, on an island
far, far, away. . . PONE WARS EPISODE II GAMELOFT STRIKES BACK Now, I wasn't going to ANOTHER one of these, but about two weeks ago, during my CRUSADE toward the other side of the world, I was looking at the MEDIOCRE laptops in a convenience store (laptops in a convenience store, how about THAT?). Normally, I'd simply fiddle around with them and CRITICIZE how bad they are (2.5Ghz SINGLE core? What is this? The 90s?); but this time around, something caught MY EYE. On the start menu was a little blue icon with a loopy "G", signifying the ever-so triumphant, GAMELOFT. My timing was bad, but never before had curiosity grown on me. I began to wonder if My Little PONY could be played on WINDOWS 10. When I got HOME, I pulled open my NEW laptop and began to search the store for anything resembling my FIANCE'. Finally (after about three seconds), I managed to find a copy of the famed, "HASBRO simulator" dubbed, "My Little Pony: A GAMELOFT game". Here's where things got a bit complicated. FIRSTLY, the game is so outdated, they're still pulling up Equestria GIRLS promotions (which was equally bad as it sounds. It's some kind of RHYTHM game, but it's got a really bad delay of about 0.75 SECONDS). And the HUD is about as old as Windows 98 (This version dates back to 2013). Unlike the LAST, this version had hardly any lag. In fact, it ran at a smooth 180FPS . . . when it wanted to. Ever so OFTEN, the game would drop to a dead HALT at the worst times. "Want to grab that apple that's falling on the other SIDE of the screen? WHOOPS, let's drop the frame-rate to 12 and forget this was going to happen". It does that QUITE often and always at the most inconvenient of times (like that STUPID EQG dance party mini-game) A lot of the THINGS here are the same as what I said in the ORIGINAL post. It's a waiting simulator that only runs BETTER because it's a Windows 10 counterpart. Despite this, I still MANAGED to have fun by burning all of Ponyville's REVENUE and forcing all the MARES to work for low wages, basically creating Gameloft's COMMUNIST dream society. One thing that, REGRETFULLY, remained the same were the loading times. Now, in WINDOWS 10, apps that work like programs are SUSPENDED whenever the person clicks off them or MINIMIZES them. That's fine and all, but when you're DOWNLOADING updates? It resets EVERYTHING and you have to start it all over again. For a game that already had LOADING issues, it was pretty bad and took me 6 HOURS to downloading something with bad HOTEL internet. Nice thing is that after that FIRST boot, everything goes back to normal and you can spam your Twitter feed with as many horses as you want. The BETTER thing about this version is that I could ACTUALLY experience all the game has to offer. (Such as BAD minigames and other DELICACIES)
A lot of the minigames are the same, do the task at HOOF and earn some points. Problem is, it gets really repetitive and you'll soon find out that you earn the same amount of EXP per game (I'm looking at you, TELESCOPE game [which is harder with a MOUSE). The game still costs a lot to play. Not so much REAL currency, but the bits are just as bad. Buying is a pain and really scrapes you dry. ONE problem with buying is that it NEVER tells you just how much money you'd be making with a new SHOP, forcing you to blindly punch numbers into a calculator to find the bits per SECOND ratio. (Yay, SCHOOLWORK) Eventually, like many of you I'm sure, got TIRED of the waiting and remembered a little trick. CHEAT ENGINE, the problem solver of the world. Within this MAGICAL program is a SPEEDHACK, which can UNLIMIT the FPS in the game; thus, making me more MONEY. As soon as I remembered it, I downloaded and submit my COMMUNISTIC Ponyville to EXTREME measures (Pinkie Pie style). Now we're happy to announce that we're making 10,000 BITS every twenty seconds. So that's GAMELOFT'S PONY GAME, from what I've heard, there's a co-op mode where you can play with others. I've got a friend who might be able to help with that; so if all goes well, I'll UPDATE this story and add an EPISODE III. No this is NOT the 5k special. -REalityPUBlishing
THE LAST WUTCH_DERGS ENTRY (Probably. Most Likely.)
SO! Watch_Dogs, Watch_Dogs, Watch_Dogs. If I got a nickel every time I mentioned that card-board cutout of a game, I'd be rich. So where to begin. Let's see . . . As many readers may or may not know, I've been in the process of my "worst" move. It's taken a lot out of all of us, our trip to the states. We've thrown away about 20 pounds of childhood memorabilia and shedding a few tears in the process. Anyway, while sorting through my things, I found it. My old copy of Watch_Dogs, a game I picked up not a month ago. Well, this time I had the case, so I suppose it's different. Anyway, I popped open the case and found both discs inside, patiently waiting for me to rage at the TV one last time; I placed the cd into my XBox and tried to load the game one last time. Did it work? Of course not, but it did give me an idea. Hidden behind the cover art was a phone number, one to Ubisoft Support. So I called them up, hoping that with whatever glimmer of hope I still had, I'd be able to exchange my broken copy for a new one (a code at least). Yeah, good luck with that. Ubisoft Support, although not the worst, couldn't care less. I'll admit, the person on the phone was nice, but he kept referring me to buying a new copy. (Apparently there was some sale on the original to make way for Watch_Dogs 2)
"I don't wanna buy a new copy! Just give me a code or something!" That call was a waste of money. Anyway, fast forward to today, I managed to pick up a copy on Steam for 15 bucks on the "Complete Edition" (A friend picked it up for me; I'm cheap). So I spent the whole day downloading the gaping 17GBs at 500KB/s. How delightful. You've gotta thank hotel internet for their relentless dedication. On to the juicy parts . . . GAMEPLAY! The GAMEPLAY IS STUNNING! When I move my mouse, it's like I'm a glitchy hacker. While watching the cutscenes, I can't tell if I'm lagging or that's the real-deal. 20 frames per second is like a life goal. Could you imagine what would happen if the real world ran at 20 frames per second? We'd all be buying GTX 1080s. That's what would happen. There's really no point to this entry anymore. There's not much to say, so I'll let the pictures of my rad adventure pull it off. AIDEN PEARCE LOOKS GOOD AT 800X600 RESOLUTION
(Yeah, his name is spelled that way. I had to check.)
I always looked at it as an aesthetic_the bare streets and no shadows kinda added to aiden's crippling depression.jpg
(Not to mention, check out that guy in the poster! He's lookin' pretty fiiiiine!)
OWL MOTEL NEVER LOOKED BETTER
(Shot with in-game engine)
Ubisoft is the Picaso of pixel art. Look at all those fine textures!
Welp, that was my "adventure". It lasted a good half-hour, so it's not that bad. Like I said, I've got better entries (unlike this one) coming soon! So stick around for those. Hopefully I've have Internet to post 5k special. -RealityPublishing
(If you couldn't tell, this is my "I just woke up" writing. )
Discord: https://discord.gg/6fNjXFq
FiMFiction:http://www.fimfiction.net/user/RealityPublishing
ALSO: This is going to be my new profile picture. I hope you enjoy.
REPUB'S HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR 2016 (feat. KFC Chicken)
REPUB'S 2016 HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR
A WEEK IN THE LIFE OF REPUB, KING OF REALLY BAD FANFICTION, EXTREMELY BELATED BLOG ENTRIES
AND FORGETTING WHAT DAY IT IS. SERIOUSLY, IS IT LIKE . . . SUNDAY OR SOMETHING? DOES THAT MEAN SCHOOL IN THE MORNING? DARN. Monday, December 19st, 2016
We had an early Christmas, nothing more than a few presents under the tree. Reason we did it early was because the movers were coming the next morning and we had to be prepared. Now, usually I'm the last person to do so, but I really think I had the upper hand in all this. For the last three days, I'd been throwing all my old toys and such from the last 8 or 9 years (a lot of tears were shed), so my soul was prepared for anything (about 5 huge garbage bags full of junk). Unfortunately, I'm still a procrastinator and still had about two bags to take care off; I didn't sleep that night (partly because of the early Christmas)
I will admit, I have a terrible gift of "The Careful Eye"; meaning, my holidays are always the most anti-climatic parts of the year. No matter how well you hide a gift, I; for some reason, always find it. So there was no surprise in my holiday gift list. I received a new laptop (AMD Quad-Core 1.6Ghz HP Notebook PC w/ 8GB RAM), the MLP Twilight Sparkle Train Conducter set (really cool, btw), and the Twilight Sparkle Holiday Ornament (Hallmark. It looks like it's one of the newer designs for the 2017 movie). Not a bad loadout for this year, so I'll take what I can get (that laptop was a very good payoff). I didn't sleep that night. No, not only because I was up all night downloading 3.2 GBs of the famed, "Blackjrxiii"'s work, but because I still had a lot to pack and throw away. Since then, I've been sleeping really late. I suppose you could call that the, "Last Sunrise I'll Ever See".
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 20TH, 2016
Movers in Japan are no joke. For one, they take their jobs very seriously and will starve to finish their duties (unless it's lunchtime, which they'll ditch anything for). We in Japan like to call them the, "Ninja Movers" because if you don't specify every little thing you do not want packed, they'll take it away. If you turn your back, they'll pack your stuff in such an aggressively careful way, whatever you left will be compact in a neat little box the next time you look. I sat in the bathroom, the safest room of the whole house, and wasted away with erotic roleplay with some of the PonyCrush Community. (It got really saucy, so I'll leave it at that). Afterward, the house was pretty much empty with the exception of a few pieces of furniture later to be sold to some random people online.
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 21ST, 2016
Lazy day #1. We did nothing but sit around; I did a bit of late schoolwork (wow, RePub does school? What is this?) but I didn't get very far. I did, however, get to download my entire Steam library along with many other programs I needed from my "Le Brick" Windows XP computer. Y'know, I take back what I said about Windows 10. It's kinda cool once you remove: -Pre-installed programs (Includes HotalAdvisor. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT FOR?)
-Cortana
-OneDrive
-Office 360 (If I have 2007 forever, why would I pay a subscription for something marginally better?)
-Microsoft Edge
-Custom Toolbars
-Bing
-Wallpapers made by Windows
-Xbox Everywhere
-Xbox Live
-Apps on the Start-Menu
-Apps in general
-Pretty much everything added in Windows 10. Other than that ^, everything's pretty cool. Best console I've ever bought. (Did I tell you it has a Numpad?)
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 22ND, 2016
I played CS:GO all day and scammed my friend for 9 extra skins (Plus one I got via random drop). I think it's hit me . . . the Skin Insanity. I had a conversation with another friend of mine (wow, RePub has friends?!? What is THIS?!?) about Stage Definition for many of the Skin Insanity symptoms. Here's what we came up with:
Stage 1 - Want it, need it.
Stage 2 - Spending all your money in CS:GO
Stage 3 - Attempted Thievery
Stage 4 - Scam your friends and Family
Stage 5 - Investing every dying cent into that rare pair of Gloves (or knife) Yeah, Stage 4 is hitting pretty hard, but I think it's been dying down. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta shoot 600 more bots in training ('cause I suck real bad) Oh, and I think this was the day I wrote about the MLP Gameloft game. Uh . . . yeah . . . something like that.
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 23RD, 2016
We donated a lot of extra crap during this day; but that night, I had the honor of viewing the Assassin's Creed Movie in theater (3D, but I recommend 2D because of a lot of action).
Without spoilers, it's not bad (which is a first for a video game movie). I think it needs a lot of work; there are a lot of scenes that'll cut from the middle of a conversation to look at some random plant, but that's all good when you look at it as a whole. It's got some trippy parkour (which is expected), but I think the underline message is to create a withstanding example for future video-game based movies. And with that goal in mind, I believe it succeeded. Let's hope FNAF doesn't screw it up. (Oh, I saw Rogue One a week earlier; I'll write a review on that whenever I get the time)
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 24TH, 2016
Technically, this was Christmas Eve, but we didn't have anything to give so we went out for the day. It was more of a family day, so it's not much to talk about. My mother was on her usual quest to find the "perfect photo", so that left me and my father out to linger. Earlier that day, however, we had to find our little bird, Kiwi, a new home. He didn't make many appearances in this blog, but he's in the thumbnail for the entry, "HOW 2 SNORT WASABI (Part 1)".
RIP Kiwi, gud burd. SUNDAY, DECEMBER 25, 2016
(Wow, that title really trumps yesterday)
It's Christmas and I awoke to Windows 10 updates that've been collecting over the past week! Thank you, Microsoft for a present more forgetful than my grandmother's socks: Three hours of waiting! Now, there's a tradition here in Japan. When that holiday where you see Americans dressing up in reds and hanging lights over their door comes around, you better call KFC for a reservation. "Why?" You ask. Well, I'll tell you. When Christmas rolls around, every single Japanese person in this country runs to their nearest KFC (potentially a mile away) to collect their holiday chicken. It's true! They'll run across the island to pick up their holiday tradition of taking in the Coronal's moist chicken with the least amount of time between bites. My mother decided to jump on the band wagon this year and pushed us all out the door (and across the island) to pick up the golden-fried legs of an Ancient Japanese tradition. When we arrived, we half expected a line to be waiting outside the feeble red and white building. Much to our surprise, no one was there except two petite Japanese women; they were no older than 20. My mother tried to go inside, but the two ladies told us they were closed for the holidays and instead offered us a tiny box of $10 chicken legs. From the corner of her eye, however, a large family, no smaller than six or seven persons, barged out from the KFC with huge, black drums of chicken. My mother was furious and demanded to know why they were closed and what happened to all that chicken; I stared at the feeble box of second-rate food. The lady backed off, trying to explain that those customers had paid for a reservation one month in advance. So while we were stuck in the cold with our poor-man's turkey, everyone else was living it up with their enormous barrels of exclusive KFC. We had to settle with the low-rate 10 dollar chicken, splitting a single box between the three of us.
---
We're almost at 5,000 Views, so I'll make my thank-you speech here for the holidays: Thank you all for sticking with us throughout the year! It's been quite an adventure writing these, so I sincerely hope that my disparity has given all of you a few laughs! Since coming here, I certainly hope I've made a good impression on the many of you, even if few of my conversations were a bit aggressive (I've got an inbox full of take-down notices ). We're still working on big projects and I hope this entry can make up for all of the ones I missed. I remember writing my first entry as some sort of complaint/rant about BronyMate (my, how short those entries were back then) and somehow they evolved! Now we're at 5000 Views by strangers who I don't even know! I honestly didn't think people read my work (they probably don't; it's probably me just refreshing the page a hundred times ). My, how we've all grown. Yes, I've run into a few dry patches from here to there, but life goes on and there's always new things to talk about. I know there's still a long way to go, but I hope this blog continues to grow and make its mark upon these forums; that's my only Christmas wish. Thank you all, and I'll see you in the next post,
-RealityPublishing Discord: https://discord.gg/6fNjXFq
FiMFiction: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/RealityPublishing
DeviantArt: http://realityc.deviantart.com/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyxI6DWe4sNYzsJxu2Sid2g "Special thanks to everyone in the Brony Fandom. Without you guys, I wouldn't be half as creative as I am today." -RePub
CORPORATE HASBRO CEO SIMULATOR (My Little Pony: the Gameloft Game)
BUY OUR TOYS; YOU CANNOT RESIST
-RealityPublishing
Edit: The animations are still kinda cute, though. A little awkward at times (recycled animations for every single pony), but still very, very cute.
COUNTER-STRIKE: GLOBALLY REDUNDANT
During the past week, I had the honor of washing the car for money. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal, but that day was different. Between the writing competition and my daily routine of snorting four "shaft-long" Wonka Pixy-Stixs, I wasn't going to let this opportunity down. What was I going to buy? A Steam Card, of course! Counter-Strike: Global Offensive was on sale for 33% off! That's a whole 5 dollars off! By golly! I wasn't going to miss that for the world! So I bought CS:GO for the first time and waited seven whole days to play it. Why? Because I still don't have a computer and I was stuck waiting in line for the household "desktop" (if you could even call it one) filled with 266 GBs (not joking) of family memobilia and the occasional Spider Solitaire save file to become available. So after four years, I finally experienced CS:GO. What do I think of it? Here, I'll let Russian Kids ".." and "-x-" sum it up for me.
"Cyka bylat"
To be honest, I didn't think the rumors would be true; but boy was I wrong. Every single lobby you enter is filled to the brim with foul mouthed Russian kids hogging and slurping up the microphones. No, I didn't get screamed at directly, but I was called a "cyka", so I'll consider that a promotion toward "edgy" Oh, and yes, there are cheaters. A LOT OF THEM. My very first match (in Dust 2. Was there any doubt?) had one hacker jumping around the map with a Desert Eagle headshotting everyone on his radar. My first reaction was, "Oh wow! This must be some elite player!"
*goes back to wallbanging everything in sight*
Now, as I'm writing this, I've played about 6 hours of CS:GO. In that time, I could've washed my mom's car twenty times over. Unfortunately, I was stuck playing the same two maps over and over again (Dust 2 and Mirage). Seriously, what is it with desert maps? Is it the character models? Why? WHY? WHY? Eventually, I discovered the other modes. They're pretty cool and I'm not as bad with them as the "'Casual' Russian Invasion" mode. Though, I'm pretty sure that's only because I remember playing on "Baggage" back in 2013 for Minecraft 1.5 (Shotbow Network, I believe). So in short, CS:GO is pretty addictive. I've neglected my chores and resorted to playing video games all day. Stage One of "Skin Insanity" complete. If you like being screamed at by russian kids, this game is for you. Oh, and I want those gloves. They look cool. -RealityPublishing Discord: https://discord.gg/6fNjXFq [source to the "kys myself" joke]
THE NAPOWRIMO BREAK (Season 3)
-WINDOWS XP GONE WRONG
-LOWERING YOUR TEACHER'S EXPECTATIONS (PART 1 OF 1)
-AMERICA GOES APE-CRAZY
and
-NICK CAGE READS EROTIC FANFICTION WITH A HIGH-PITCHED VOICE (wow, I really should have lowered my octave) (Titles subject to change) Thank you all for the support! It's been a crazy month and we're working to make some great content! Throughout this month, we'll be creating several new projects and fanfictions! We're still looking to invest in some drawing tablets and we've recently updated our engine for our (still in development, but almost done) first game, "Fallout: Equestrian Revolution", and will be expected to release sometime summer 2017 (perhaps August; it depends). We're still looking for artists, so if you'd like to see this game become a reality (get it?), then please message me (we'll probably be working with SFM for the first game). Again, thank you all for the support! See you on the flip side!
-RealityPublishing Our Discord: https://discord.gg/6fNjXFq (We'll be having a "5,000 View Special" whenever we reach the goal.)
DRUG HOTELS (SoCiAL ExPeRiMeNt GoNe WrOnG)
"xxx_sm0k1ng_1s_4_dumb0t$_xxx"
So I went to visit Japan last year, right? You know how it goes, family trip, you get dragged into going, already been there a thousand times . . . couldn't get any more complicated than that, right? Well, I wouldn't exactly say it was "complicated", but it was certainly something . . . different. Firstly, I'll start with the present. I'm doing the "National Pony Writing Month" with my entry being, "My Little Pony: Equestrian Redemption", a sequel to an unfinished series that I started back in 2015. I deleted everything because I thought it was terrible (it was), but it's coming back better than ever. So be on the look out for that. Also, because fifty-thousand words is a bit of a challenge, I might not be writing here for the rest of the month. Sorry 'bout that. I guess I'll be taking my hiatus early.
No worries because for those of you who joined our Discord Server:
https://discord.gg/6fNjXFq
You'll be able to hear from me all month. The purpose of the server (which I don't believe I explained too well in the previous entry) is to be a more public, more reliable way to show off the source material for many of these blogs, as well as giving more people a chance to offer suggestions and input for past and future entries. Our server offers users to "listen in" (All audio, no voice) on the conversations my friends and I have during the making of these entries. If you wish to join in on the conversation (and you are "deemed fit") you can ask us and we'd be more than glad to grant "special access" and give input during the calls. It's a good step forward and if more people join in, this blog could live on for a much longer time. There will be another link at the bottom of the post for those willing to join. (Discord is a pretty cool program. I'd recommend it even for non-gamers who use Skype. Discord is much, much more organized than what the name advertises.) And now for the past, which is the focus of this story. I believe I mentioned visiting Japan? So we'll start from there. Japan is a nice place to visit and has a lot of interesting exhibits to cast your eyes on. My favorite aesthetically? The Sankeien Garden. It's nice to walk around; and although I have a vague memory of it, I do remember we arrived at the last 30 minutes until close. (Fun Fact: I believe those gardens were featured in Sword Art Online [don't ask me what episode]. If you visit the site, you can actually see a lot of the same bridges and ponds. Again, I don't know the exact garden name, but I do know it was that one.) My favorite humorously? The Poop Museum. The name says it all. Look it up, I dare 'ya So what made this trip special? Why is this trip different from all other trips? Not to mention, why am I writing a blog about it? Well, I was going to tell you eventually. . . On the last night of my five-day vacation, I stayed at a "Capsule Hotel". If you don't know what those are, I'm not surprised. Capsule Hotels are, on the face, neat little one-person rooms all stacked up on top of each other. Each hallway is filled with at least forty of these things, but it's still an interesting concept. Of course, that's on the face, but what's behind the mask? In the words of Michael Rosen:
"That's an interesting story, and I'll tell you."
First thing that should give you a big red symbol is the fact that they divide the males from females between differing floors; but you should've probably expected such a thing, so I'll keep going. Secondly, if you look very closely behind the counter, you can see the shower room. Filled to the brim with nude men; how subtle. Now, I know that we in the west see something like that as taboo, but here in east? Nah, it's fine. Let the kid jump around in the back of the car! we're not driving nearly as fast as we should! Luckily, I didn't take a shower that night; though, by the end of the night, I probably should've. Capsule Hotels are a breeding place for claustrophobia. Despite being armed to the teeth with alarm clocks and televisions (funny story), those capsules are very, very small; (It's about three feet in height.) and again, you're stuck in a room with about fifty other people who don't know where they're going (there was a bar under the hotel). The Televisions! What can I say? No headphone jack? 24 hours a day scripted p-rnography? n o t b a d. :awuh: (Guilty as charged) So other than the suggestive stimulation playing on the television, everything else was pretty normal. Each individual compartment came with their own blanket and pillow, alarm clock (I said that), and radio (still no headphone jack ). Only other thing that happened was that at about four in the morning some random Japanese man, shirtless and possibly wasted, climbed into my capsule.
I had to kick him out.
-RealityPublishing Discord (check us out!): https://discord.gg/6fNjXFq
THE PRE-READER POSSE (Fanfiction Philosophy)
Wow, that added no depth to the entry whatsoever. Huh. So where in the world was RealityPublishing? It's been a week an literally no one missed him! Not even the PonyCrush people! Well? I've been sitting around playing Fallout: Tactics, writing more fanfictions, force feeding Boku No Pico to my note-taking accomplice, and waiting in line for Blackjrxiii's newest hit (It features Applejack. I'll dig anything with my fiance' in it). Pretty busy week if you ask me! I'll try to post more frequently now that Season 6 is done and over (eck. That episode deserves an entry of its own). In fact, I managed to finish an entire four-page fiction in about two days! I polished it up (as best as I could) and shipped it off the next morning. I had to draw sketches, create covers, and everything! Sure, it took a lot of work, but I think it was all well-worth it. So what was the fiction? It was roughly a 28-hundred word short story featuring Pinkie Pie and metaphorical reflection. I personally thought it was one of my better works, but what do I get in return? About 80 views, 1 Like, and 2 people climbing on my back about errors that were non-existent. Now, to be fair, I don't mind criticism; in fact, I think it's one of the best things a writer could ask for. You can improve on it and strive to be a better writer, (which is what I did). The problem is that out of two people pushing the backlash, I was only able to extract a single piece of information that was actually useful. Strange, huh? Though, I'll have to give credit to the first person who commented, because he got me thinking. The statement he described was:
"I'm not sure if this is a sad Pinkie, or an unhinged Pinkamena"
The story I wrote was a metaphor and had neither of the two. All the characters of the story were just placeholders to better fit the message that I, the author, was trying to tell; it was all for the better visualization. Unfortunately, it seemed as though people didn't understand that. Sure, it could be that I wrote the fiction in one day and they just didn't get it, but I believe there's another alternative. . . Fans who read these sort of works come in with a pre-existing headcannon that they expect the fiction will perfectly align with. When it doesn't, they don't like it. It's as if fan directly compares the show or their beliefs with the fiction presented; it just doesn't work. Yes, we know that Pinkie Pie is a fun-loving pony, and even the simplest of stories can reflect that, but when the character is automatically classified to what the reader wants it, the moral or intention of the author is destroyed. Writing is a tool to speak the words of talented writers, not fit the demands of a reader. Perhaps it's just me being blind to the definition of "fan fiction" and maybe I should go on to write more, "Twilight rides a bus and Pinkie Pie was there" fictions which seem to be getting a lot of attention. This brings me to my second point. Scenario Fictions, as I call them, are what give fan fiction a bad name. They feature next to no originality and they still are able to breech the 1,000 view mark or receive more attention than they certainly should have. It's like the LeafyisHere or Pyrocynical of fan fictions. No effort, more views, more attention, more fame. You want to make a Scenario Fiction? Let's go through the steps. Step 1: Watch the latest episodes (hard work, I know)
Step 2: Take whatever was good about the episode or whatever you thought could've been different, and put your own spin on it. Such as. . . -Spike goes mad with power (Gauntlet of Fire) (Link: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/325324/dragon-lord-spike ) -Thorax the Babysitter (To Where and Back Again) (Link: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/351824/overlooked ) -Derpy eats a glowstick
(Link: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/351388/derpy-eats-glow-sticks ) And last but not least, - Twilight eats stuff and Spike has to get Colgate to do something?
(Link: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/146/teething-problems ) Step 3 is watch the views roll in. Anyone can be horse famous now! No, I have not read any of the fictions above, but I don't think I really want to. You could say they get the views because people want a laugh or two, but for something like this to attract over a thousand fans? Seriously? And that leaves me to my last objective.
ROMANCE FICTIONS
Y'know, I wouldn't have so much a problem with these if it weren't for the fact they are more populated than the entire population of Eastern Asia. Let's be honest, about 95% of us would have an emotional relationship with one of the mares if given the chance. Problem is, people can't keep that to themselves. Oh, no. They decide to write more fictions than an immortal Mark Twain could. I honestly don't know what's so "special" about these quote-on-quote "ROMANCE" fictions. And no, I don't hate the writers or their work. I just hate the fact that people would rather subject their eyes to something as morbidly stupid as a Twixie Fanfic than an original IP made by some junky surrounded by CRT TVs. That pretty much raps that up. My friends and I watched the original MLP movie, so I'll be writing about that sometime in the near future. Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy!
But here's my outro,
So call me salty! -RealityPublishing
(UPDATE: Because of my "misstep" in fanfiction, I'll be applying for Writer's Digest. Wish me luck!)
WATCH_DOGS 2002 (IRLOMGWTFLOL)
This work of fiction was designed, developed, and produced by a multicultural team of various religious faiths and beliefs.
Visit http://www.gaben.tv/for help and tips
Quoting a famous intro / speech? Very original, RePub. Well, what do you expect? We're running out of ideas and. . . you know what?
And that, my friends, is what we call, "a bigger budget". Yeah, we're turning out like El Smosh. Pretty soon these blog entries are going to be translated into Dovahkiin (Elder Scrolls: Skyrim). But I digress, you're here for the story, not the random hilarity. (Unless you are here for that in which I really need to rework my formula.) Well, as many of you probably didn't know. Over the weekend, Bethesda had a big sale for their Fallout series, and being the classical fanatic I am, I decided to buy the entire Classic Collection for a grand total of 10 bucks. Not bad, eh? If you can recall, and I'm pretty sure I've mentioned at least twice a post, I still don't have a computer. What's taking so long? I'm broke, mkay? The only computer I have, if you can recall (again), is the "Brick" which does, in fact, have the capabilities of running Fallout Classic. Now I just had to acquire internet connection. . . Now, the time was about three in the morning, very convenient when you had to download a good 2 GBs of Fallout goodness (1, 2, and Tactics). Please, that wasn't going to get in my way! So what did I do? I geared up and did a montage by grabbing a hat, hoodie, long black pants, socks, a face mask, and a backpack stuffed with, the Brick, a LAN Cable, charger, and my cell-phone. Why I did it is still beyond me, but in the end, I was glad I packed dark. Y'know, I've been playing a lot of video games lately. I'm not ashamed of it, but after a good. . . 200 hours? It really gets in your head. Oh, and I mastered the "crouch-walking". So, I think that'll explain a bit more. Anyway, here I am, dressed head to toe in the silliest get-up while crouch-walking throughout my house as if I'm avoiding alarms. Eventually, after 20 minutes, I crawled myself up a different flight of stairs to where our internet router is kept and I plugged in my laptop. The booting alone took long enough, not to mention Steam's part in all of it. The entire process took forever and I was growing restless. Back and forth, I paced around the room, sweating and regretting my entire life, when all of a sudden, I start hearing footsteps. Now, I thought it was just my computer fan for a while, so I ignored it and continued my contemplation. At least, until I heard the wooden stairs grumble under the feet of my trampling mother. At that point, I was wrapping myself around the Brick, begging for it to complete the download; me mum was right outside the door, peeking in. I didn't move a muscle and, thankfully, she didn't dare turn on the lights. After what seemed like hours, she left the room and returned to her bedroom, leaving me in a heaping pile of sweaty rags. Fallout Classic is a great game! Would recommend. -RealityPublishing
HOW TO GET ALL THE MARES/COLTS/PONIES/STALLIONS/HORSES IN 7 EASY STEPS (My PonyCrush Experience)
*bows with respect*
"I believe it is time for our feature presentation" So will Reality Pubics finally reach his destiny? To find a lover who will understand his idiotic lifestyle, messy room, and explore badlands of RP's accomplishments? Will he truly find his soul mate under the consistent hail fire of FiMFiction Critics? And finally, will RePub finally find someone to call his own? For life and forever? For the love of mares? Will Applejack, his beloved fiance', get upset? (No, she won't. I'm sorry bby, plz forgive meh. I had to do it for the blog! I'll do your side of the chores! I'll. . . massage your back! I'll. . . stay up late and help you with the animals! I'll. . .) With the theater aside, PonyCrush was quite the experience. No, there wasn't much to do there (at least for a new user), but there was definitely a feeling of unity between the small division of bronies who have bound together in order to get laid. Again, it's a small site that opened only a year ago, which was something that surprised even me. But many of you aren't here to listen to me "review" the site. After all, the purpose of this blog is to retell experiences and life stories that've happened to me in the past. So let's get started.
Dawn of the First Day: 72 Hours Remain
Last Sunday, October 23rd, I was bored and wanted to leave the weekend with a bang. I hadn't really done anything, so I had a good reason to wish. Doing so, I called up my friend (the same from the "G3 Drinking Game," read it if you haven't [it's pretty good]) and asked what he was up to. Small talk occurred for a good 12 minutes before we both suffered in the silence of awkward timing. Eventually, I got the idea of going back to my older blog entries (when it was all about computers and somewhat better titles) and had a revelation about my first post. It was about "BronyMate," a site I hadn't forgotten. So for the memories' sake, I visited the site in wonder if they were still up. Seeing they were, I took a dip into the Q&A, finding the "subscription policy". I mentioned it to my friend and he linked me to TootsieRoll's video on Brony dating sites. Near the end of the video, I learned of an alternate site dubbed, "PonyCrush", which I had never heard of. I decided to check it out and, because of my desire to write a new blog entry, I jumped into the action.
Setting up an account was easy and definitely less demanding than BronyMate (asking for zip codes and crap. Who does that?). However, about halfway through setting up my profile, I discovered the 16 Personalities test; which, I'm sure most of you have heard of. If not, it's a test that determines what your personality type is, or in my case, how big a jerk I am. The test went smoothly and took about 20 minutes to do (considering I was slouching around the entire time), which wasn't bad. Turns out I'm a "Debater", which translates to "Douche bag who over analyzes things and gets into arguments over silly situations". What a big surprise. My friend actually took notes of the first day. If you'd like a bit of random, funny crap, be sure to check it out in the attachments (don't worry, it's txt). Oh, profanity warning, though. Just to. . . uh. . . warn you. So when my account was all good and done, it looked a little something like this:
Because Pictures that are upside down, are automatically funny.
Anyway, the rest of the night was a bit bland. We just lurked around the site and sang shanties all night. What a world, ya better leave her, Johnny.
Dawn of the Second Day: 36 Hours Remain
The Second day was much like the first, sitting around and waiting. I did, however, meet someone (not a lover) who refused to talk (he probably didn't get my message) to me after my third PM. How convenient. I think the only thing different about Day 2 was that I changed my profile pic and added a bit more info. It's a picture of my OC and can be found on the MLPForum OC Archives with the name, "Rebus Noteworthy". He's the most unoriginal piece of work I've ever crafted. Sadly, this day, like the rest, don't have notes. Such a shame. I guess that leaves me to my final day. . .
Night of the Final Day: 6 Hours Remain
Well, not really 6 hours, but you get the parody. I think the 3rd day is where I had the most activity. Mainly because I lurked around a bit more, counted how many "mares" there are to "stallions" (which, by the way, is only 17 pages out of 72), and made a good comment! (Adding one more pony to my "friends list") Along with a bit of commenting, I also had the honor of advising the site to advertise a bit more. How exciting! (not. Though I did get some agreement)
Moon Fell. Let's all go home and press reset.
All in all, I find PonyCrush to be a nice little community of sad sobbing singles whose only desire is to gang-"nuzzle" the 2 females who ever come online. Though, I still feel the site has a bit more potential. No, I'm not sponsored by PonyCrush or anything. Heck, they still don't know I exist. But I still think if you want that extra boost of togetherness and crippling loneliness (because one dose is never enough), feel free to check it out in the link below. (Oh, you can find my lack-luster profile down there, too. It's quite a trip.) I'll probably keep my PonyCrush account live (and potentially active), so if you're in the area, give me a holler and let me know the Forums sent ya! -Reality Publishing (signing out) PonyCrush: http://ponycrush.com/
My Lack Luster Profile: http://ponycrush.com/profile/1095/RealityPublishing Again, profanity. Enjoy at your own risk
Visualboy Thingy Update.txt SEASON 3 FINALE (PART 2)
http:// imgur.com/a/w8xtf
THE MIGHTY FACE REVEAL (100% WORKING NO SURVEYS)
Is this image real or fake? -RealityPublishing (with yet again, another bad blog entry)
ASS-ASS-IN'S ROGUE: NX REVEAL (Screaming my lungs out until I can't breathe even if it killed me)
Yeah, I'm done talking about that. Besides, I haven't even finished the game.
There's about three reasons I think you're here and you probably don't care about my bad review of AC:Rogue. So these are my reasons. . .
Reason 1: You saw the title and are somewhat curious (Possibly)
Reason 2: You actually follow my work (Unlikely)
Reason 3: You want to hear about my reaction to the NX Reveal. Well, I'll tell you. I thought the NX reveal was amazing and, while not what I was expecting (It never is), it was an excellent way to wrap up 2016, an otherwise disappointing year. I know there's going to be a lot of people who are going to disagree with everything I say and that I should just go back to drowning myself in the 2 images of MLP G3 R34. (yes, there's only two. I checked, and one of them is just straight up furry) But anyway, I approve of the NSwitch. Do I like the name? No. Do I like the secrecy around it? No, but I do like the concept and the promise. (This is where 90% of the hate is coming from) I believe Nintendo is making the right move toward AAA titles and hardware. From what we've heard, Nintendo just walked up to NVidia, asked if they could make a custom chip and assigned 50 guys to the job. I have to admit, my first reaction to the NX reveal was,
"N-Nintendo. . . Switch?"
Yeah, I still hate the name. But my second reaction was something like,
" :-o "
But even that isn't accurate. There isn't enough faces on this Forum to come up with a proper representation. Here, I'll try to type it out for you. *sees Zelda*
(Insert Micheal Rosen Here)"Nice"
*sees controller break into two pieces*
"Huh?"
*Sees the entire console pop off the dock*
"OOOHOOOHOHOHOHOOHOHOHOOOHOHO OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH" (Repeat for 3 minutes and make as many spasms as you can until neighbors have awoken) But nonetheless, I spent the entire night hyperventilating, dreaming about the NX (which I refuse to call by any other name), and passing out on the bedroom floor (which I did). Well played, Nintendo. Well played. -RealityPublishing (Don't screw this up) Oh, and during the NX carnage, I tweeted this to Ubisoft, who insisted I check out their. . . "flight simulator"
THE GENERATION 3 DRINKING GAME
TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO COLT HAS GONE BEFORE
RealityPublishing Copyright 2016. Don't sue me
OH YES! I've been waiting to talk about this one! OOOOOH BOY! The fun I had. Following my last entry, I mentioned that I checked out a MLP G3 DVD from the library and that I'd be watching it that night. I kept my word, and I regretted it. So before I really dig in, let me give it a fair rating:
6/10 - RePub, "The menu spooked me" As my mother always says, make sure you say something positive! Hmm. . . Pinkie Pie was there? Oh, and Rainbow, but I'll get to her later. Yeah, the positive ends there. The episode I watched was dubbed, "The Princess Promenade", and featured two other episodes to accompany it's trough of manure. So as soon as I got home, sat around, and drew a bit, I popped in the disk and called up my friend. It took a while, but we eventually agreed to watch the full, 50-minute feature film. The episode is just littered with bad writing. Everypony has no other emotion but happy, even Pinkie Pie, ponies don't intervene, and even the musical numbers sucked. The story starts off with about three breezies flying into "Ponyville" to aid in some kind of flower festival. The main breezy, Zipzeey (who is voiced by Andrea Libman, so you can imagine how many times I thought that was Pinkie), is allergic to flowers for some reason, but that's not really a problem. The "real" focus of the story is set on Hysteria (Her name is Wysteria, but I swear they kept saying, "Hysteria"), G3's very own, Twilight Sparkle. Hysteria, accompanied by Pinkie Pie, is digging around in the "royal"(?) flower guardian (after a song) when they find a weed. The two try to pull it out, but they end up falling in a deep hole. Zipzeey, who apparently has a close relation with Hysteria, follows them. The three find themselves in a dark tunnel that leads them toward a big pile of dino dung. (I'm not kidding on that one.) On top of the dung, however, was a flower that interested Hysteria, causing her to try and pick it up. Dino Dung awakens, reveals its name is Spike (the dragon) and he appoints Hysteria a princess for picking up a flower or something. This is where the movie takes a turn for the worse. Everything before this point, I could handle. In fact, the notorious intro song didn't even play at the beginning, so it was giving me a good impression. Until the word, "Princess" was thrown in there. I swear, to this day, I wish I had taken shots for every time someone said, "Princess", but I'll get to the shots later. Spike, for some reason, has access to a big castle in the middle of Ponyville. It's not introduced or even explained why the castle is there, but I had to run with it. Spike explains that the flower gives whoever picks it the power of a princess and is the rightful ruler of however big Ponyville is. Spike then describes that his "role" was to teach the new princess how to be one, and this point, you should already figure out what the rest of the story is about. Hysteria is taught how to be a princess, but it's too stern and she can't see her friends. . . blah blah blah. . . musical number. . . no freedom. . . destroys the Death Star. . . gives up princesshood. Now, all that is fine and dandy, it's nothing I haven't seen before, but what makes these stories unique (despite having the same plot) is the resolution. Let's see how they solve this problem. . . Princess Hysteria, in a drunken, depressing rage, messes around with Minty / Pinkie's Float (Which, by the way, I would totally ship.) and comes up with an A M A Z I N G resolution. I swear, this blows G4 out of the water. In fact, I think the rest of the world should try this. Hysteria solves her princess problem, BY MAKING EVERY PONY PRINCESS Yeah, and they sang a song about it. I think the only funny thing about that whole thing is that as soon as they started dancing and such, you could automatically see that Spike was the King. He dressed up and even went as far as making the ponies bow to him. Not joking, see it for yourself. (You can find the episode on XXnightmaremoonXX.de under the extras tab) The whole thing is just littered with bad writing (as I said before). Not a single pony makes an advance toward Spike or pressures Hysteria about her princess problem. All the ponies in the town drop everything they're doing and sing a song about how there's, "A Princess in Town", which was just terrible. Every character has a stereotype and they follow it to the tee. This is where the drinking sets in. Firstly, I'm not old enough to drink, but that's fine. Water is more deadly. Rainbow Dash, who dresses so nice, has a bad habit. Every single line she has, ends with, or has multiple of, the word, "DARLING". As soon as I heard it twice, I grabbed a half-gallon of water and told my friend that every time Rainbow said, "Darling", I'd take a full swig. 40 Minutes and 36 swigs later, my hand is shaking, I've got a burning hatred for Rainbow Dash, and I'm screaming every time she appears on screen. My head is in the clouds, I can barely move, my bottle is just about empty, and I've got fifteen minutes left. At that point, my friend looked up "hyponatremia" and was begging me to stop, but I sucked it up and kept pushing 'till it was over. By the end of the night, I had water all over my shirt, I forgot how to swallow and I lugged my water-hopping bod into bed. And that was my G3 experience. A simply delightful encounter with Rainbow Death and Hysteria. Though, I must add, they kept making references to Pinocchio which made me chuckle. Good job, G3, you got me to chuckle. -RealityPublishing Oh, I also took some snapshots of the. . . highlights. Have a look!
HOW I BECAME A BRONY (My First Brony Anniversary)
http://steamcommunity.com/games/388090/announcements/detail/125327007944045364