If your "friends" treated you like that then they are not friends at all. You're better off without them. You should just stop talking to them and find new, true friends.

And, please don't stop sharing and saying what you love. Some people won't like it but you don't have to care what they think. I mean, you should listen to constructive criticism, but there's a big difference between that and meanness. 

Also, please do not commit suicide. That is never, ever the answer. I recommend reading this page.

SCS, Thanks. Others I've been talking too say that I should get rid of them, but then if I do I don't really have any friends left. So I don't know what I should do, I just feel hurt and too tired for this. 
And I don't really have control sometimes when dealing with my thoughts, I try to keep steady and all that, but I keep trying on keeping them down, especially with the whole jump in front of the truck thoughts. 

They weren't your friends in the first place. There's a difference between real critique and just insults and that was totally rude of them. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but at least you should know that they aren't truly friends.

SCS, Thanks. Others I've been talking too say that I should get rid of them, but then if I do I don't really have any friends left. So I don't know what I should do, I just feel hurt and too tired for this. 

And I don't really have control sometimes when dealing with my thoughts, I try to keep steady and all that, but I keep trying on keeping them down, especially with the whole jump in front of the truck thoughts. 

It can be difficult to get rid of the only friends you have, especially if they're abusive towards you. I completely understand this. But if they are detrimental to you and won't apologize or admit their wrongdoings or even talk to you about this, then it would be best to cut them off. Being alone hurts, but I think that having fake friends is even more painful. They're like a burden, a noxious influence that continues to make you sink deeper and deeper into depression. You don't need that right now. 

Controlling your thoughts and yourself is an exercise that is so difficult. It takes years and some serious hard effort to get stable from something like that. Without your meds, I understand that it's even harder. I don't know the reasons why you can't take them, but I do think that taking some time away from your computer and from the source of your pain is a good idea. Keep keeping it steady and fight viciously. I know it's an obvious thing to say, but I think in times like these, encouragement is important. You can do it, you can keep stable.

New friends can be made, even if it seems hopeless. In this world, there's billions of people, and at least one of them can be a good kind friend. The kind you can have the conversations you want with. Sometimes you have to seek them out, and others, they'll come to you. But don't let the bad people discourage you. The good people will be found. There are people who enjoy your art. That much is obvious from the fact that you have commissions to do in the first place. I think that's a huge achievement, as I rarely get a commission coming down my way. 

Regardless of what they say though, you must continue your art if you enjoy it. Nothing else matters except your own enjoyment. You must do things that make you happy, for your own sake. Don't stop.

I don't know what to say that hasn't been said other than if you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a PM...

I'm sorry that your life is going downhill for you right now...