Your beards ain't got nothing on this one:

Mine is most similar to John Waters' 'stache.

Yeah! Full beard! I am the most trust worthy. That might not be a good thing though...

Yeah, I'm so trustworthy!!

You got nothing on my Engels beard.

Seems legit...

A cross between Amish and Philosopher.

Colonel Sanders - goatee+moustache. Beard part is wider than a tuft but not connected to the stache.

Good, I like neutrality but prefer being trustworthy. <3