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Friendship idea is wrong


arftbmrf

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Jeric, on 16 Oct 2015 said:
Go ahead and make a blog rather that a topic that already skirts the line between an actually discussion of the show and a vendetta against life

 

Well, this is the blog and this is what I want to say. I will copy/paste, instead of giving a link.

 

The main idea of the show is wrong. Remember when Twilight said, in the Season 4 finale? "Friendship is the most powerful magic of all" or something like that.
Well, this is wrong. Friendship isn't the most powerful thing. Romance is and I tell you why.
1)Romance bring people closer than friendship ever able.
2)Your friend won't live with you, won't make a family with you, won't make you a kid.
3)Friendship is a cheap surrogate of romance. We have 'friendzone' thing with a negative connotation, but we don't have 'romancezone' thing with any connotation. We're telling: "we're just friends", as in, nothing more, implying that romance is more than just that. Nobody says: "we're just lovers" or "we're just spouses".
4)Intimancy is impossible with a friend.
5)Everyone is striving for romance and family, as an ultimate goal, and friendship is just a side and unnescessary thing.
6)Show itself confirms my point. S04 E25, alicorn song. "When love finds its' place in every heart". Not friendship. Love. Princess of Love.

 

At some point, all ponies from Mane 6 will get married and get kids, which will make them spend less time with each other, because family is more important than any friendship. Or else they will become crazy cat ladies.
Besides, if friendship was = romance, people who have strong friendship wouldn't have looked for romance, because friendship is the legit alternative.
In case of mane 6, they would've just be together for all their lives, enjoying their friendship and not needing anything else. But it's inferior to romance.
You can see people who are married or have a lover, and don't need anyone else, but you can't see people who have friendship (no matter how strong) and don't need romance.

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No. Love isn't just romance. I love my parents, I love my pets, and yes. I love my friends. Not in a romantic way, sure. But I still love them.

 

 Friendship is not cheap. Far too many treat it that way, but it's not true. Friendship is important, and can be just as strong as some romantic relationships. Friends can live with you, I'd love to live with my friends. You don't need a kid to be a "Family", and not everyone wants kids. "Intimacy" as in sex? Not a requirement to be close to people.

 

 I have no desire for a romantic relationship, zero, zip, nada. I never have. I'd be miserable without my friends.

  • Brohoof 7
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"She friendzoned me, even if I wanted real relationship"

"We're just friends, nothing more"

"I want us to be more than just friends"

Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

  • Brohoof 1
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Your point is? You're correct, people often do view romantic relationships as "more important" than friendship. Doesn't make it true for everyone. Lot's of people really like Game of Thrones, I don't like Game of Thrones, I'd rather watch MLP or Doctor Who. Who's wrong? Nobody. Popular opinion isn't fact.

 

 I view friendship as highly important, it's a big deal to me. It didn't use to be but it is now, but romance? Eh...I like a good romance story sure, but I don't care much about it in reality. Just never had a desire for it. I've seen plenty of other people feel the same way as me. Who's to say I don't care about my best friend as much as somebody else cares for their wife or husband? You're not in my head, I'm a different person than you. Love isn't a competition, or at least it doesn't need to be.

 

 Lifelong friendships are a thing. You don't need sex, or romance, or marriage, or kids to be close to someone. Maybe those can help, but they aren't a necessity for every relationship.

  • Brohoof 4
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Almost every book, movie, cartoon, game implies that romance is something that should be in everyone's life. That eternal love is the most important thing in the world. They don't say that friendship is the most important thing in the world.

Quoting myself:

"Show itself confirms my point. S04 E25, alicorn song. "When love finds its' place in every heart". Not friendship. Love. Princess of Love."

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Almost every book, movie, cartoon, game implies that romance is something that should be in everyone's life. That eternal love is the most important thing in the world. They don't say that friendship is the most important thing in the world.

Quoting myself:

"Show itself confirms my point. S04 E25, alicorn song. "When love finds its' place in every heart". Not friendship. Love. Princess of Love."

 

The show itself confirms nothing of the sort. Love doesn't mean just romantic love. I'd say Friendship is a type of love. The love between lovers, between parent and child, between siblings, between friends. You're assuming that love is talking about romantic love only. I can say I love my friends, in a platonic way.

 

 Also, you're looking in the wrong places then. There are plenty of cases of strong friendships throughout all of media, maybe pay a bit more attention? You've got one show that spends 99% of it's time talking about friendship and how wonderful it can be right in front of you, but you're digging through it to try and find evidence for it saying the contrary. Media can have good messages, but that doesn't mean everything it says is true anyway. Not everyone needs or wants romance. Life's not a Disney film, Prince Charming might not exist, and not everyone cares for what he's selling.

 

 People experience love differently. It's in shades of grey, not white and black. It's not "Romance is the best and Friendship is eh" for everyone. Maybe that's how you feel, but not everyone has to feel the same as you.

  • Brohoof 4
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The show itself confirms nothing of the sort. Love doesn't mean just romantic love. I'd say Friendship is a type of love. The love between lovers, between parent and child, between siblings, between friends. You're assuming that love is talking about romantic love only. I can say I love my friends, in a platonic way.

 

 Also, you're looking in the wrong places then. There are plenty of cases of strong friendships throughout all of media, maybe pay a bit more attention? You've got one show that spends 99% of it's time talking about friendship and how wonderful it can be right in front of you, but you're digging through it to try and find evidence for it saying the contrary. Media can have good messages, but that doesn't mean everything it says is true anyway. Not everyone needs or wants romance. Life's not a Disney film, Prince Charming might not exist, and not everyone cares for what he's selling.

 

 People experience love differently. It's in shades of grey, not white and black. It's not "Romance is the best and Friendship is eh" for everyone. Maybe that's how you feel, but not everyone has to feel the same as you.

They showed Cadence's cutie mark during that part of a song. Cadance is the princess of love. Romantic love. She used her power to rebuild a relationship. So, they meant romantic love.

And friendship can break easily enough, while romance/marriage never break.

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They showed Cadence's cutie mark during that part of a song. Cadance is the princess of love. Romantic love. She used her power to rebuild a relationship. So, they meant romantic love.

And friendship can break easily enough, while romance/marriage never break.

In the context of the song, it's about the princesses and their roles. But just because romantic love can "find a place in every heart", that doesn't mean friendship can't do the same. Nothing about that song implies friendship isn't important. There's a princess of friendship too.

 

 Also, divorce. It's a thing. It happens all the time. Romance doesn't always last forever. Neither does friendship. But both have the potential to forge unbreakable bonds. Neither is better than the other. They are two parts of the same coin. Friendship is magic, love is magic.

  • Brohoof 2
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In the context of the song, it's about the princesses and their roles. But just because romantic love can "find a place in every heart", that doesn't mean friendship can't do the same. Nothing about that song implies friendship isn't important. There's a princess of friendship too.

 

 Also, divorce. It's a thing. It happens all the time. Romance doesn't always last forever. Neither does friendship. But both have the potential to forge unbreakable bonds. Neither is better than the other. They are two parts of the same coin. Friendship is magic, love is magic.

They sang "when love finds a place in every heart".

When. Not 'can'. Implying that everyone will have romantic relationship, soon or later.

And divorce happens only in bad relationships.

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Without friendship true romance cannot be achieved.nyiur arguments are invalid.

If friendship was = romance, many people would've been satisfied with friendship, because it'd have given the same things as romance.

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As Potatoes already stated, you can't have true romance without friendship. You keep repeating yourself and not addressing what's been said.

 

You base your whole argument off of the assumption that there is one kind of love. But you are mistaken. Eros is the love you have in mind; romantic or sexual love. You fail to consider, however, Phileo and Storge love. Phileo love is platonic love between friends, and storge love is platonic love for family members.

 

To say that their is only eros love doesn't make sense. Every type of love has the chance to be equally strong in their own right. You may feel friendship is inferior -- that's on you. But how can you invalidate other peoples experience with friendship? Are you in their heads? Do you feel what they feel? That is a resounding no. It's erroneous to make blanket statements about people and pawning off opinion as fact.

  • Brohoof 3
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As Potatoes already stated, you can't have true romance without friendship. You keep repeating yourself and not addressing what's been said.

 

You base your whole argument off of the assumption that there is one kind of love. But you are mistaken. Eros is the love you have in mind; romanic or sexual love. You fail to consider, however, Phileo and Storge love. Phileo love is platonic love between friends, and storge love is platonic love for family members.

 

To say that their is only eros love doesn't make sense. Every type of love has the chance to be equally strong in their own right. You may feel friendship is inferior -- that's on you. But how can you invaliditate other peoples experience with friendship? Are you in their heads? Do you feel what they feel? That is a resounding no. It's erroneous to make blanket statements about people and pawning off opinion as fact.

If friendship was = romance, there wouldn't have been 'friendzone'. Besides, where is lovezone? Romancezone? They don't exist.

Plus, the show itself confirms my point.

They sang "when love finds a place in every heart".

Cadance is a princess of love. Not just any love, but eros love, because she was shown repairing the relationship between lovers, in season 2 finale. So, according to this song, every heart has to have eros love. Not friendship.

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If friendship was = romance, there wouldn't have been 'friendzone'. Besides, where is lovezone? Romancezone? They don't exist.

Plus, the show itself confirms my point.

They sang "when love finds a place in every heart".

Cadance is a princess of love. Not just any love, but eros love, because she was shown repairing the relationship between lovers, in season 2 finale. So, according to this song, every heart has to have eros love. Not friendship.

 

Okay, let's take this to its logical conclusion...

 

Is what you're saying that reproducing and/or the act of it is the meaning of life?

  • Brohoof 1
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Okay, let's take this to its logical conclusion...

 

Is what you're saying that reproducing and/or the act of it is the meaning of life?

How else you can have the next generation that will continue your quest for bringing harmony? Someone has to reproduce to make this generation.

And you still didn't tell anything about the song.

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Friendship is just the world for love between people who arn't reproducing.

"We're just friends"

"I want us to be more than just friends"

"Friendzone"

How'd you explain that, then?

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You're equating romance with love, the two are not synonymous.  Someone can be in a romantic relationship without love, and someone can love without being in a romantic relationship.

 

Love is at its core a simplistic concept... it means you care for someone or something deeply. You can love your parents, you can love complete strangers, you can love a romantic partner, you can love your friends, and you can even love a show about little pastel colored equines.  Love is a very broad concept. Love can also be bilateral or unilateral, meaning you can love someone that doesn't love you back.

 

Friendship is more specific than love... it's a relationship between two people who mutually care about one another. Again, friendship can happen in many relationships.  You can be friends with family members, people at school, people you know, and hopefully you will be friends with your romantic partner as well.  The reason that the show focuses on the concept of friendship is because it's something we all need.  You can get through life without romance and live a happy and fulfilled life, but you need to have friendship.  Also remember that this show is not aimed at us, it's aimed at 10 year old girls... the shows messages and values would be meaningless for someone at that age if they were focused on romance.

 

Which brings me to another major issue with your concept of using romance.  It doesn't necessarily equate to love.  There are plenty of people in romantic relationships with people they do not love. The purest example of this is cultures who throughout history have used arranged marriages.  The entire concept of an arranged marriage rests on the premise that love is not necessary to have a successful romantic relationship.  Agree or disagree with arranged marriages, it's a great example of how someone can end up in a romantic relationship that has no love or friendship involved.  And of course there are other ways too... you can fall out of love with someone.  That's why we have so many divorces.  Love is not necessarily something that's permanent, and when it goes away the romantic relationship will often continue on for some time or even permanently without it.

 

This is particularly true since your original argument for romance being the focus of the show relies almost completely on the physical elements of romance, not the emotions.  You can have sex and have a family with someone you have absolutely no feelings for at all. Just take a look at the amount of domestic violence that occurs in the world... sure, they're in a romantic relationship together, but that doesn't mean their relationship is positive. Romance, particularly in the sense of a physical relationship, is in no way guaranteed to be a positive relationship. 

 

Friendship doesn't have this issue.  Since it's a relationship that purely relies on our feelings towards another person and not actions, when the love dissipates from a friendship, the friendship vanishes with it.  That is why friendship is such an important concept that it justifies being the focus of the show... a friendship is a relationship that is unique in its requirement that we put effort into it.  it relies on a mutual love and care for the other person, so to survive it has to have effort put into it.

 

Ultimately, love is an emotion, not a relationship. It can lead to both friendship and romance, but the big difference is that you can't have friendship without love, but you can have romance without it. That makes friendship the overwhelmingly best choice as the focus for the show.

  • Brohoof 3
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They sang "when love finds a place in every heart".

When. Not 'can'. Implying that everyone will have romantic relationship, soon or later.

And divorce happens only in bad relationships.

 

I think you're taking these lyrics way too literally. There are people in real life who have never had romantic relationships, so obviously everyone having them has to be false. There are people who've been in relationships and then left and never wanted them again. A show about cartoon ponies doesn't dictate the romantic desires of the entire human race.

 

 People can divorce on good terms. People can change and grow apart, divorce doesn't always involve two people who hate each other.

 

I said it earlier, but I'll say it one more time. Love does not need to be a competition. It doesn't have to be Romance vs Friendship, what shall win? You can have both, and neither is worse or better than the other. You know what I see when I look at the mane six? Friends. Friends who love and care for each other immensely. Friends who'll help each other through tough times, and fight to keep each other safe. Friends who may argue and fight, like all friends do, but will have each other's backs through thick and thin.

 

 But that doesn't devalue Romance either. Shining and Cadance show a different kind of love, one not platonic. Do they care for each other more than the mane six? Or do the mane six care for each other more than them? I can't tell you, and I don't think it matters in the first place. The mane six love each other as best friends, Shining and Cadance love each other as a romantic couple. Neither relationship is more or less important, just different.

 

 Shining didn't stop caring about Twilight, his sister, just because he got married. If Twilight ever get's married, it won't stop her from caring about her friends either. Our society has a habit of putting romance on a pedestal, and devaluing platonic friendship, but that doesn't make it right.

 

 I'm done, I've said my part.

  • Brohoof 2
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I dont really wanna be part of these long conversations, because i have not really that much to say and im bad at wording things...and i also dont want to start something again.

 

But there is one thing i can say : Whenever your relationship fails, arent friends supposed to be there, to cheer you up? Like, friends are usually always there to help you in almost all situations. A romance can fail. Also, getting Friends is easier then to actually get to a relationship with someone you love and for me, i was always getting hurt.

 

So for me personally, friendship is way more important than love. And friendship is also way more fun.

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You're equating romance with love, the two are not synonymous.  Someone can be in a romantic relationship without love, and someone can love without being in a romantic relationship.

 

Love is at its core a simplistic concept... it means you care for someone or something deeply. You can love your parents, you can love complete strangers, you can love a romantic partner, you can love your friends, and you can even love a show about little pastel colored equines.  Love is a very broad concept. Love can also be bilateral or unilateral, meaning you can love someone that doesn't love you back.

 

Friendship is more specific than love... it's a relationship between two people who mutually care about one another. Again, friendship can happen in many relationships.  You can be friends with family members, people at school, people you know, and hopefully you will be friends with your romantic partner as well.  The reason that the show focuses on the concept of friendship is because it's something we all need.  You can get through life without romance and live a happy and fulfilled life, but you need to have friendship.  Also remember that this show is not aimed at us, it's aimed at 10 year old girls... the shows messages and values would be meaningless for someone at that age if they were focused on romance.

 

Which brings me to another major issue with your concept of using romance.  It doesn't necessarily equate to love.  There are plenty of people in romantic relationships with people they do not love. The purest example of this is cultures who throughout history have used arranged marriages.  The entire concept of an arranged marriage rests on the premise that love is not necessary to have a successful romantic relationship.  Agree or disagree with arranged marriages, it's a great example of how someone can end up in a romantic relationship that has no love or friendship involved.  And of course there are other ways too... you can fall out of love with someone.  That's why we have so many divorces.  Love is not necessarily something that's permanent, and when it goes away the romantic relationship will often continue on for some time or even permanently without it.

 

This is particularly true since your original argument for romance being the focus of the show relies almost completely on the physical elements of romance, not the emotions.  You can have sex and have a family with someone you have absolutely no feelings for at all. Just take a look at the amount of domestic violence that occurs in the world... sure, they're in a romantic relationship together, but that doesn't mean their relationship is positive. Romance, particularly in the sense of a physical relationship, is in no way guaranteed to be a positive relationship. 

 

Friendship doesn't have this issue.  Since it's a relationship that purely relies on our feelings towards another person and not actions, when the love dissipates from a friendship, the friendship vanishes with it.  That is why friendship is such an important concept that it justifies being the focus of the show... a friendship is a relationship that is unique in its requirement that we put effort into it.  it relies on a mutual love and care for the other person, so to survive it has to have effort put into it.

 

Ultimately, love is an emotion, not a relationship. It can lead to both friendship and romance, but the big difference is that you can't have friendship without love, but you can have romance without it. That makes friendship the overwhelmingly best choice as the focus for the show.

Then why does term 'friendzoned' exist anyway? If friendship is so wondeful, who there are constant complains and jokes about being friendzoned?

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Then why does term 'friendzoned' exist anyway? If friendship is so wondeful, who there are constant complains and jokes about being friendzoned?

 

You're taking a term of art way too literally.  All friendzoned means is the person was not able to form the sort of relationship they wanted in that particular situation.  If there's an individual who you want to have a romantic relationship with, who doesn't feel the same way, that can feel hurtful.  It doesn't mean friendships in general are a lesser relationship than romance.  I'm sure you have lots of friends you have no interest in forming a romantic relationship with.  That doesn't mean you don't care about those people, it just means you don't have a physical attraction to them.

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