Welcome, one and all, to the season one wrap-up of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!

 

 

Well, we're not quite to the actual finale ye-

 

-oh..wait, shit, we are.

 

Welcome to the finale!

 

Now, a couple of things are going to be different in this review and a couple of things need to be said.

 

Thing that needs to be said #1: Tumblr sucks.

 

Thing that needs to be said #2: You are not hallucinating, there is now a bar of widgets at the right of your screen. After years of trying to figure out how to do this, I realized upon accidentally clicking "Add Block" that there was a very simple way to accomplish this.

 

Thing that needs to be said #3: At the end of this review, I'm going to give an overall assessment and summary of the entire first season of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I'll give an overall grade to it, talk about my favorite episodes, talk about the worst episodes, and perhaps even bring up how it holds up to today's standards, since the whole reason I've started re-watching the old seasons was to see why the show was so good.

 

Thing that needs to be said #4: Peanut butter is the spawn of Satan.

 

Alright, now that the important stuff is out of the way, we can move on to looking at the season one finale, "The Best Night Ever". I've heard some accounts that this is one of the best finales of all-time. I've also heard some accounts that I don't care about other accounts. Don't know which one to believe, but without further ado, let's jump into this season one closer.

 

This is a spoilers review, so if you haven't seen "The Best Night Ever", you're going to have the worst night ever.

 

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The episode opens up with Pinkie Pie, whom is bouncing up 'n' down on a trampoline talking about how excited she is about the Grand Galloping Gala finally arriving. Ah, yes, the build up has been so intense. I mean, this arc was so complex, such as its use in the plot of two of twenty-five episodes! I mean, an arc that tight is totally worthy of being the season finale, right? Anyways, while Rarity is trying to unite the rest of the cast for their dress fittings, Twilight is busy working on a spell for the gala. Which spell you might ask? Well, it's the most important spell of all time. Turning an apple into a chariot.

 

Yes, lovely, but does your chariot have a strip club and a Dunkin' Donuts inside? I didn't think so!

 

After some nudity jokes and sexism takes place, the girls dress up, find some stallions to pull their chariot, and off to the Gala they go! Spike is especially excited to show the ponies some stuff, but I couldn't be bothered to listen to him speak. When they arrive in Canterlot, the girls get out of their chariot and surprise Spike with their dresses. And they make it seem like we haven't seen them either, even though they were the PLOT OF "SUITED FOR SUCCESS". I digress, however. We move forward into the galaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! NO! NO NO NO NOOOOOO!

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Shitty pop music! Make it stop! Make it stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-well, it's not that bad. It's still not a good song, though. I like the composition, but fuck the shit out of all the noises made by human voices.

 

So, after I suffer through that song, Spike rolls in to talk about how they're all going to spend time at the gala together. Until they split apart like dicks. Seriously, these quadrupeds are absolute cunts to Spike, he should've stayed with the buffalo. He ate turquoise gems there!!! TURQUOISE GEMS! Well, time to follow the stories of the six fucks. We'll start with Twilight, who runs up to Celestia and talks about how much they have to catch up on murmurlikeherpastthreedeathsmurmur! Celestia replies by saying she wants Twilight be by her side the whole evening. Aww. How gay.

 

"Want to make out later?" "No, Twilight. I'm a white mare, you're a colored pony."

 

Meanwhile, Rarity sees her "prince charming", whom had an eerily accurate appearance in relationship to her dreams vs. reality. Anyway, no one wants to follow this story. She probably asked for a lollipop and they went in the back room all night. Fluttershy also sees some animals, but no one wants to follow her story either. Applejack sets up shop in the middle of the field to sell her apple foods. You know, the only pony of the six to have a legitimate reason for going to the gala. Economics > prostitution, Rarity. Well, as we follow each of the ponies, we find them all saying that this is "just what they had expected" and "imagined". Well, there's ten minutes left of this shithole, I'm sure nothing horrible will happen. Elsewhere, Rainbow Dash saves Soarin's apple pie from dying.

 

Rainbow Dash looks less determined to catch that pie and more confused as to what a pie is.

 

After that, Rainbow Dash is allowed to hang out with the Wonderbolts -- just like she planned. Things go a-rye after Pinkie Pie comes to the mix. She gets so excited, singing her "it's all I ever dreamed" song (yes, I can tolerate Pinkie Pie's songs), but the sophisticated broom-up-the-ass ponies there aren't having her shit. A fantastic analogy for my place in society, but I digress. Cut back to Rarity, the prince (named Prince Blueblood) isn't letting the slut in his pants as he consistently acts like a dick. Can you believe this jerk?! He put a rose in his suit! What a misogynist, arise Tumblr, we must shame this man immediately!

 

Check your white male privilege, Blueblood!

 

Yes, well, anyways, on to Fluttershy. The whistle that Fluttershy thought was coming from an exotic bird was actually a gardener. Nah, the animals couldn't give two fucks about Fluttershy, and run away when she approaches because she's a scary one. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash is losing the attention of the Wonderbolts, and Twilight can't talk to the princess because the line to meet and greet her is becoming too long to get a word in edgewise. Otherwise, Applejack is becoming really impatient with the high-class tits around here. After two, four, sixty minutes of waiting, she got exactly 0 sales (except for Soarin). This isn't what she expected ay-tall.

 

The classy pony up front is named Fine Line. Excuse me while I coin 10 other names for randomly generated crowd filler!

 

After everyone becomes depressed, they all stand up and say "No! Fuck this! We're gonna make this the best night ever!" and proceed to take matters into their own hands. Fluttershy starts setting up traps 'round the garden for the critters, degenerating into borderline schizophrenia. Crazy, unfortunately, only works on Pinkie Pie, so screw off. Rarity, despite her efforts to "help" her prince along, is still disappointed by the fact that Prince Blueblood is still incredibly self-centered. Elsewhere, Pinkie Pie tries to liven the party a little by singing the "Pony-Pokey" who's "left hoof, right hoof, back right, tilt your head" lyrics eerily correspond to the montage of actions taking place with the others.

 

Still better than "At The Gala."

 

All hell breaks loose now. Pinkie Pie thinks they want a "PARTAAYY" and goes batshit trying to get them to shake their groove things. Then Applejack decides to make her apple stand mobile and bring it inside the castle to shout about. Pinkie Pie does a huge stage dive and lands on Applejack's cart, which sends food flying to the air. When a projectile pie comes toward Prince Blueblood, he pussies out and lets Rarity gets hit, which pisses her off to no end. So she asks him sarcastically if he's afraid to get dirty, and starts shaking herself about to get him all messy (that's what she does on a daily basis to other stallions), which makes the dumb prince fall on a statue, which starts to fall over. Rainbow Dash makes this her opportunity to impress the Wonderbolts and catches it, but clumsily tumbles around afterwards and knocks it into some pillars, which causes a domino effect to them all around the castle. As Twilight and Celestia enter to see the wreckage, the purple pony says that things "can't get any worse." I like how that line gets excused, but when Spike does it in "Owl's Well That Ends Well," it's a point of criticism. Idiots. Well, obviously, it could get worse, and Fluttershy bursts in shouting her famous "YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE ME" line.

 

...Breathmint?

 

As chaos ensues after Fluttershy chases all of the animals into the party room, everyone must flee the castle, ending the Gala in an explosion of chaos. At Donut Joe's, Spike is getting drunk off Hot Chocolate and donuts. Meanwhile, the Mane Six enter the restaurant looking a mess. As Twilight explains to Spike the havoc that occurred, they all agree that it was one of the worst nights ever. However, given this show's happy-go-lucky nature, they all have a laugh about it. Then Princess Celestia shows up to say that she enjoyed the gala herself, and was excited by the chaos that happened. That's why she invited them in the first place. Always the asshole troll, aren't ya, Molestia? Finally, they learn that they should've stuck together like Spike wanted to, and that friendship is magic or something like that.

 

And so the final curtain is called up on season one.

 

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Best finale ever?

 

Nah.

 

See, all the technicalities of the episode works. The set-up, the pacing, the downfall, the resolution. That's all fine. Nothing's shoe-horned, everything works despite the episode's goals not going according to plan. That's fine and all. But some people call it the best finale just on those grounds, and I think that's a really stupid thing to say. Finales have to wrap up their respective seasons in a big way. Finales are an accomplishment -- you've watched the season so far, and this is your big pay-off. Does it have to be the best episode in the season? No, but it should still feel like something big is happening. That's not what was delivered.

 

Instead, this episode has a grand premise to a mediocre execution. There are no consequences to the events of this episode, and given that its arc was only the subject of two episodes, the build-up wasn't that great either. As I said before, "The Cutie Mark Chronicles" would have made a much better season finale then "Best Night Ever". It's important, has a ton of build up, and pays off in the end. If they'd touched it up to be a bit more grandiose, maybe smoothed out the pacing or even made it a two-parter in favor of omitting some shit episodes, then "The Cutie Mark Chronicles" would have worked. Unfortunately we have this, and it's not a bad finale, it's just boring and incredibly disappointing. Therefore, I am giving "The Best Night Ever" a 7/10.

 

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Alright, folks, time for the epic season one summary. First, let's take a look at all of the episodes this season and the ratings I gave them.

 

01. Friendship is Magic, Part 1 8/10
02. Friendship is Magic, Part 2 9/10
03. The Ticket Master 8/10
04. Applebuck Season 9/10
05. Griffon the Brush Off 7/10
06. Boast Busters 4/10
07. Dragonshy 8/10
08. Look Before You Sleep 10/10
09. Bridle Gossip 3/10
10. Swarm of the Century 6/10
11. Winter Warp Up 9/10
12. Call of the Cutie 6/10
13. Fall Weather Friends 8/10
14. Suited For Success 8/10
15. Feeling Pinkie Keen 10/10
16. Sonic Rainboom 7/10
17. Stare Master 7/10
18. The Show Stoppers 5/10
19. A Dog and Pony Show 9/10
20. Green Isn’t Your Color 6/10
21. Over a Barrel 5/10
22. A Bird in the Hoof 7/10
23. The Cutie Mark Chronicles 10/10
24. Owl’s Well That Ends Well 6/10
25. Party of One 10/10
26. The Best Night Ever 7/10

 

Therefore, my overall rating for season one of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is.

 

7.4/10
Best episode: "Party of One"
Worst episode: "Bridle Gossip"

 

Overall, this season wasn't too bad. However, given that a 7.4/10 is essentially a C-, I should explain that this season was far from perfect. If you, or in this case, I, want to go back and re-watch the series to "remember" what made the show so great, season one is not the season to do it with. It's liken to the rollercoaster of quality that the first half of season four and the entirety of season five is. Now, that said, when this season hits its highs, it does really well. "Party of One", "The Cutie Mark Chronicles", "Feeling Pinkie Keen", and "Look Before You Sleep" would easily make my top 10, if not my top 20 MLP episodes of all time. However, when it hits lows, it can crash and burn. "Bridle Gossip" and "Boast Busters" are terrible tragedies and "The Show Stoppers" and "Over a Barrel" are just incredibly uncomfortable sit-ins. Anything else just shoots around in the middle of mediocrity and redeem-ability. Nothing to rave over, but nothing to bash either.

 

I never held season one with high regard, but 7.4 is a lot lower a rating for the season than I'd have given in the past. Still, the first season of this show is still all-in-all enjoyable, so it's worth a watch. But you'll have to be patient to get to the really good stuff. This is the only season showrunner Lauren Faust was at the helm of. She stepped down to be a consulting role in the creation of the second season before leaving altogether (IIRC), and I'll gladly piss off a lot of people when I say that this show got a lot better after Faust left. But her only season as executive producer didn't crash and burn, so that is something. Besides, there's Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends if I want to gush over Faust genius.

 

Alright, then, everyone. So that was season one of MLP. The next time you'll see me is this Thursday to review part one of the season two premiere, "The Return of Harmony". Will it be a refreshing start? Or will it amount to the mediocrity of its preceding episode? Find out next time on

 

..My Little Pony...

 

...*Saves Draft*...

 

...Friendship...

 

...is...

 

...a Bad Idea!