Late for a review, you say?

Yeah?
Well, fuck it. This is "Sweet and Elite". Spoilers ahead.

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So this episode opens up with Princess Celestia and Rarity entering a bedroom in Canterlot. Ooh, raunchy. I like where this is going. And it gets even saucier when Rarity, after being shown the room she'll be staying in on her Canterlot visit, starts getting on her knees and proceeds to make love to the hooves of Celestia. Ah, it's one of those pornos. Well, that may or may not be my style. Depends on what kind of hoof action goes on. Then a bell-boy enters. Aw, hell yeah!

Now the festivities can really take off!

After the title sequence and the censoring, Rarity goes into the cafe to enjoy digestible matter when two cocksuckers from the upper crust of Canterlot comment on Rarity's fantastic hat. When she tries to impress these assholes, an old hick-of-a-friend from Ponyville working as a painter in Canterlot ruins everything. After the ponies leave, I subsequently feel a strong urge to follow them and go Black Dahlia on their asses, but I'll never admit a goddamn thing. You can't prove I have a time machine! Anyways, Rarity says "fuck this shit" and starts working on a dress worthy of Canterlot, but on her way to the...err...clothes-makery???, she bumps into Fancy Pants.

I'm too hot! Hot damn! / Make a dragon wanna retire, man / I'm too hot! ...............Still working on clever captions as you can see.

At some point, Fancy Pants decides "eh, fuck it, let's invite this bitch to a racing show", and does so. This excites Rarity in ways we all know excite her, and she proceeds to give him her prostitution business card. However, back at the castle, Rarity starts to mull over the pros and cons between going to this event and making Twilight's dress (which, if I'm honest, wouldn't work on Twilight to begin with, but "eh, fuck it"), and eventually decides to go so that she may improve her reputation in Canterlot. Act as classy as you want in Canterlot, 'cause what happens in Ponyville stays in Ponyville, if y'n'wah'm'satan. As we get to the Wonderbolts race, Fancy Pants and the cunts that follow him around bet on Rapid Fire. However, Rarity through her affiliation with Wonderbolt fanatic Rainblow Dash thinks that Fleetfoot will win instead. Disapproving eyes of Fancy Pants entourage are foiled when Fleetfoot is victorious. Except, when she explains how she knew and the identity of Rainbow Dash, she says that the pegasus is the Wonderbolts' trainer. I'll pull my best Clunk impression here....*ahem*...."What a load of bullsh-"

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, RARITY! ALWAYS...WITH THE CREEPY....FACESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

As the days go on, Rarity stockpiles more and more commitments to her new high-class friends rather than working on the dress for Twilight. A song ensues, but it's shit, so as is catchphrase of this review, fuck it. Unfortunately, the dress for Twilight is getting pushed further and further back. Things go a-rye when Twilight and friends surprise Rarity by bringing the party to her. But oh shit! She's been invited to a garden party with Fancy Pants and his idiot followers! On the same day! And she hasn't finished the dress! And she wants to go to the garden party! But she has to go to her friends birthday party! Oh no! What to do?! What to do?! Ah, here's a good solution...................................................................................................................................................................
.............................................................................................................fuck it. I mean, that's Twilight's attitude when she sees her half-assed dress.

Twilight's tried some of Pinkie Pie's drugs, hasn't she? ...Heh, that was kinda clever.

Well, Rarity takes Twilight's advise and decides to go to her friend's party, but unfortunately, the garden party is in the garden outside the building where Twilight's hosting her party. So if the upper crust sees Rarity and this Ponyville hick party...err...she'll be scolded or something. I don't know, I don't understand socialite shit. They're all a bunch of pretentious asswipes that need to be shipped to North Korea in chains....naked. So the next few moments are Rarity trying to balance herself between parties without anyone noticing. But obviously, that doesn't work out, and her hick friends mingle with her dick friends and the truths are revealed. Rarity is put on the spot.

Ah, Rarity just watched "Crusaders of the Lost Fuck Up" I see. GG.

Rarity, in her surprising wisdom, admits that she knows them and that they're her closest friends and the most important ponies to her. Those two assholes from the cafe, Jet Set and Upper Crust, chime in at this point to laugh at the idea that they're important ponies. Yeah, they're totally not important. They only, you know, saved Princess Celestia from Nightmare Moon, defeated Discord, and will in due time also rip the Changelings a new asshole, blow King Sombra into the void, go Dragonball Z on Tirek, and save all of Equestria from a paradox that would cause mass extinction, among a series of other world-threatening catastrophes solved by them individually. Such unimportant ponies. And what have you two done your lifetimes aside from say stupid shit and make me want to sodomize your corpses after I cut them into sevenths, you couple of shit stains?!?!??!?!?!? :=:

...

Luckily, Fancy Pants agrees with me, and sets those two in their place like a true boss.

This is the definition of a magazine cover.

In the end, Rarity learns an important lesson about staying true to your friends and what not, even though she technically got away with some of her lies. But guess what? Fuck it. That was "Sweet and Elite".

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Not bad ay-tall. I don't have too much to say on this episode, honestly. I mean, I like it. It's good. It works. It's pleasant to watch. The story gels well. Rarity is characterized finely. Just an overall really good episode. I mean, sure, Jet Set and Upper Crust were probably more annoying in this one episode than Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon have ever been in the entirety of this series, but look at it this way. Annoying characters like them and Trenderhoof and all those guys...they're one-off inconveniences. We're stuck with other annoying shits for too long. So, for a sixth time, fuck it. Still, this is a nice episode I'd go back and rewatch if I had to and all that jazz. Not much to rip apart here. Just a good job. I'll give "Sweet and Elite" an 8/10.

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Happy Springtime, by the way. I'm sure we're all going to have a lot of fun this season, but it looks like my time in the flowers is going to be cut a bit short.

If you guys haven't noticed, the past couple of reviews have been posted relatively late. I used to do them Monday and Friday in the morning or afternoon, but with school and work forcing themselves inside of me, combined together to form a feeling of demotivation within me, my most recent reviews have been forced to be written and posted late at night, or even the following days in some American time zones (such as mine). It's getting to the point where I'm forcing myself to write a review, and I don't want to feel that way. Therefore, while I am not giving up doing reviews altogether, though I'm sure some would rejoice, I am going to take a break following...

...The Crystalling.

My final review for a while will be on April Fool's Day, and I'll try my best to use the festivities to my advantage and take complete piss out to more of an extreme than usual. When might I return, you ask? My theory is, after the April Fool's Day review, I'm going to take a two month break and come back sometime in the beginning or middle of June. I'll also probably follow a less constant and quick schedule to help me write reviews with more vigor.

We'll decide that when we get there, but I'd figure I'd let you guys know that now. Anyways, back into character. The Crystalling is drawing nearer and nearer, and so far, I'm totally ripping the shit out of Celestianite beliefs with my positive reviews. I'm sure Penn Jillette would be proud of me if he gave a fuck about me or this show. These past couple of pretty good episodes, at least in my earnest opinion, has got to be the hardest pressing proof against the Crystalling superstitions of the bad episode chain that would unleash the storm and destroy the non-believers. I'm quite proud of myself. Well, there's only one more episode to review before the big storm. Which episode might that b-

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Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhh shit................................................................................

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We're fucked.