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I am taking my leave


Sazama Ichida

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I have no idea where to put the thread for this and no one told me where when I asked so I'll just leave it here.

 

I didn't want to have to do this but I just can't be here anymore. This site has been like a second home to me and I've loved it here. But I really need to leave now. I've made way too many enemies on here to stay. And now my being here is just a constant reminder of all the stress, pain and misery I've been through on this site.

 

I've joined this site and tried to just be myself. And at first I thought I had finally found a forum that understood me and where everyone was like one big happy family and I wouldn't be judged. But no one here understands me. And every attempt I've made at trying to make peace and come to an understanding with those I've unintentionally hurt or offended has all been for naught.

 

Everyone thinks that I'm either a jerk or just a drama bitch who just wants people to feel sorry for me and that I just like to guilttrip people because I have nothing better to do with my time.

 

Nobody believes the real truth about me...Nobody knows or can see that I'm just a sad, lonely, desperate, broken man who just needs and wants friends, love and a family...And nobody knows how much happier and nicer and easier to get along with I'd be if I just had those things...

 

And besides my Asperger's, Another reason I can come off as a jerk and have a tendency to lash out at people is because of my cold black broken heart...And that's the truth. I am an extremely emotionally disturbed person who just wants to be loved and accepted...

 

And not only that but I have no freedom of speech here at all. If I say anything bad at all about some character or franchise I'll get jumped on and ganged up on by a bunch of people.

 

And the mods on here will often perceive what I do as Abusive Behavior.

 

I seriously don't understand at all why there's so much hypocrisy on here...because despite it being encouraged on here to be respectful and accept others for who they are that apparently doesn't apply to me...I'm not accepted at all for who I am...

 

But I think the most infuriating thing of all is how I'm constantly accused of guilttripping. Apparently I can't even complain about it or say anything about it when someone's wronged me or it's guilttripping because no one ever wants to admit they're wrong and/or apologize to me and all think that I don't have the right to get upset...I have gotten a few apologies on this site from people who wronged me but they all turned out to be fake...

 

And even despite my admittedly unorthodox points of view on certain subjects and different eccentric behavior because of my Asperger's, I still get judged and criticized by people. So I think it would be for the best if I just leave.

 

If anyone wants to talk I'll be on Skype:
prince.max101

  • Brohoof 3

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One thing you have to understand on the internet is this, and it might sound a bit blunt. 

 

People come on places like this, and the internet in general to either relax / chillout, have a good time or escape their issues. People are often not willing to be counsellors for other people, nor should we be. Unfortunately your issues are your issues and you are the person who has to deal with them, if you have conditions that affect the way you speak to people that you can't help then that does suck, people will often be able to emphasize with you and understand that, but again that doesn't override the first point. 

 

Taking myself for example, when I add people to Skype or start PM's with them here, I make clear immediately that I am happy to be most peoples friends as long as there is no needless drama, the conversation doesn't cause me stress or make me uncomfortable. If a person carries on doing that then I will remove them regardless of any conditions they may have, having asperger's is not a reason for people to keep you as a friend. 

 

My advice is, chill out, not everyone hates you, I have been on this forum a few months now and have absolutely no idea who you are, so you can't be that hated. Deal with the issues you have in your own life and don't let them flood over to people on the internet, you might think it's unfair but they don't want to deal with that from someone they have met online. 

 

Either way, have a good time, whether you choose to stay or not :) 

  • Brohoof 2
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I have no right to make a point regarding this but Jest is mostly correct.

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I don't blame you. Relationships aren't meant for online, it's just entertainment. It really would be great if everyone got along together but unfortunately we're all kind of selfish, honestly. People have problems and most don't care to support them. It would take a really kind individual to actually help out with those issues and most here probably aren't experienced enough. Join an adult site (NSFW or SFW, doesn't matter) as they might be more supportive or more understanding. Then again, it depends. Do what makes you happy, you can only do so much online.

  • Brohoof 1
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One thing you have to understand on the internet is this, and it might sound a bit blunt. 

 

People come on places like this, and the internet in general to either relax / chillout, have a good time or escape their issues. People are often not willing to be counsellors for other people, nor should we be. Unfortunately your issues are your issues and you are the person who has to deal with them, if you have conditions that affect the way you speak to people that you can't help then that does suck, people will often be able to emphasize with you and understand that, but again that doesn't override the first point. 

 

Taking myself for example, when I add people to Skype or start PM's with them here, I make clear immediately that I am happy to be most peoples friends as long as there is no needless drama, the conversation doesn't cause me stress or make me uncomfortable. If a person carries on doing that then I will remove them regardless of any conditions they may have, having asperger's is not a reason for people to keep you as a friend. 

 

My advice is, chill out, not everyone hates you, I have been on this forum a few months now and have absolutely no idea who you are, so you can't be that hated. Deal with the issues you have in your own life and don't let them flood over to people on the internet, you might think it's unfair but they don't want to deal with that from someone they have met online. 

 

Either way, have a good time, whether you choose to stay or not :)

I realized that I needed to get on one last time to reply to this. I sometimes thought that too but that can't be right when they act so understanding and kind to everyone else on here when they're sad except for me...That proves what I said to be true that they don't think I have the right to be upset or that I deserve any kindness for what I've been through...

  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment

One thing you have to understand on the internet is this, and it might sound a bit blunt. 

 

People come on places like this, and the internet in general to either relax / chillout, have a good time or escape their issues. People are often not willing to be counsellors for other people, nor should we be. Unfortunately your issues are your issues and you are the person who has to deal with them, if you have conditions that affect the way you speak to people that you can't help then that does suck, people will often be able to emphasize with you and understand that, but again that doesn't override the first point. 

 

Taking myself for example, when I add people to Skype or start PM's with them here, I make clear immediately that I am happy to be most peoples friends as long as there is no needless drama, the conversation doesn't cause me stress or make me uncomfortable. If a person carries on doing that then I will remove them regardless of any conditions they may have, having asperger's is not a reason for people to keep you as a friend. 

 

@@Jest (Inactive), this is just so insensitive. One knows the true character of someone when he does good even though there are nothing obliging him to do so. Anyone is capable of loving easy going people, even the incompetent and the idiot are capable of doing so. To be capable of loving a difficult person, when there are nothing forcing you to do so, that is what will set you apart from mediocrity and make you virtuous. That is the Christian definition of love you asked me another day. But you don't believe in objective morals, right? That explain a lot about your attitude.

 

You think it is OK to discard someone for having Aspergers? And yet you want to lecture me on love. Just don't complain when people abandon you for whatever reason. I will not be the one to do so, however, I will always be open for forgiveness. You unfairly accused me of causing drama, when I was polite all the time, and you didn't accept my apology for whatever misunderstanding it might have happened, you refused the olive branch. You walked away as if I were nothing. But even then I forgive you will and I will not abandon you, be always there for you if you ever happen to need help. Because, you know, that is what actually means to love.

  • Brohoof 1
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Man, it seems everyone i got to know and love is leaving this site one by one. It probably doesn't help that i'm never on anymore and i feel as tough i'm becoming a stranger to this site and its community. Hell, pretty soon i might decide to leave here if nothing changes. And if Asbel ever gets back and is reading this then It's been a honor to have you as a friend, I still remember how we met back on that September in 2013, back when SCS was still around and he had the ask princess Celestia ask page, and how we would "pretend" to be his royal knights. it's going to hurt but this community will move on without us old timers, like it or not.

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