So here's old news: Someone married Twilight Sparkle.

Crazy, right? WRONG. That just goes to show true, freakin', love. That means if you go so far as think about TwiTwi, you're in trouble. It means some men in black suits are gonna buck you against A wall and watch you release sweet raspberry aid from unknown places. (Wow, graphic much?)

As I said above, that's old news. How is this a tale? I was looking at it last night; there's your story. I was sitting on the computer and looking at AJ... stuff... when google went off-topic and started throwing lassoed Twilight and tight, revealing, Toy Chica pics. (Seriously, Google, what's up with that?)

You know, I actually have nothing against someone having an intimate relationship with a cartoon horse. Just uh... don't touch my AJ. Y-Yeah, don't do that. Marriage with a cartoon character? Go for it! I mean, if anyone will let you, which seeing how old that article was, I take it he did find someone to initiate the bond.

Now, as I said before, I have absolutely nothing against having a marital relationship with a waifu, but... this... I-I just can't. (message in attachments below)

Of course, this is a touchy subject. And, if he happens to be on this forum, he and I will probably have a long discussion about how much I would rather abstain from violating his pony... wife... oo? So what do I really think about this whole situation? It's... uh...

Let's just say I don't exactly approve the entire scene.

Now, I know there's going to be a mob at my door screaming, "Love comes in all shapes and sizes", and... that's... kind of true? You know, becoming the husband of a pony princess is one thing, but giving marital advice to those who donate? No. In the message, he clearly states (and it's underlined) that he'd been married for over a year with TwiTwi. In terms of experience, that's kind of cheating when you're literally dragging around a home-made ball of fabric around the Walmart while talking to yourself with a high-pitched voice. I exceedingly doubt that counts as anything noteworthy. If it is, then I'm going to be the next Sigmund Freud.

I think the most twisted part of this whole situation comes from the fact that he's not the only one with a hormonal lust for Twilight. There's other peeps who want the same shot as you, dude.

-RealityPublishing