Oh. Hey. I'm just watching South Park. A long-running series that hasn't gone to shit.

 

...

 

Sorry, the news regarding the seventh season's just really got me down. I need to make some decisions as to how long I intend to watch the show, let-alone review it. Hopefully, after this episode, I can make that decision. It's not Friday, but I figured I'd do the review today because this Friday's going to be a very busy day. Since the Dark Qiviut army ate all my closet bodies, I need to restock. How the fuck else am I going to make a living?

 

Anyways, today's misery trip is "Wonderbolts Acadamey". Let's rock and cock. Spoilers ahead.

 

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So this episode opens up with Rainbow Dash and company waiting for a letter of acceptance for the Wonderbolts Academy. Whoa, the Wonderbolts Academy is involved?! I didn't see that coming. Rainbow Dash is acting as pompous as usual, saying there's no way in hell she won't be accepted, and to fuel this annoying character trait further, she is indeed accepted. After both the prologue and the title sequence frustrates me straight to hell, in which I realize I have a Hell Transporter and the pop back in, only to be frustrated to hell again, into an endless cycle that lasts about 17 days, until I realize I need to eat and begins my quest to devour Jennifer Lawrence, henceforth completing my quest and time-jumping 17 days back so that I can be on time to finish writing the review, Rainbow Dash has arrived at the Wonderbolts Academy.

 

Spoiler Alert: This episodes takes place at the Wonderbolts Academy.

 

So now it's time to line-up and shit, an-

 

.....................................................
I...........is that..........Spitfire?!

 

...........................................That's supposed to be SPITFIRE?!

 

WHAT THE FUCK?!

 

They changed Spitfire's design, voice, and personality for ONE FUCKING EPISODE?!

 

...

 

Wait a minute, I remember now. Everything that made Spitfire, Spitfire, was changed after this fucking episode. She used to have a much calmer voice and attitude that made her a rather interesting asset and mentor to any Rainbow Dash center, because she was the blowhard trying to be as cool as Spitfire. And then they just suddenly decided, nope, fuck that, assholes. Now she's a tough stereotypical blowhard just like Rainbow Dash. This isn't even a big problem for "Wonderbolts Academy". Instead, it's because of this episode's complete 180 of Spitfire's character that we have one of the many reasons "Rainbow Falls" is a terrible fucking piece of cocksucking shit episode.

 

Anyways, on with the actual episode. Spitfire......ugh.........starts drilling the newbs, until a dickhead named Lightning Dust challenges her and blows the academy records out of the water. Of course, Rainbow Dash has to meet this shitter, and they become good academy buddies. Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie anxiously awaits Rainbow Dash to write her a letter. She....slowly goes insane.

 

Constipation is a bitch.

 

As more shit happens at the academy, Lightning Dust proves herself to be even more of a tryhard than Rainbow Dash. When Lightning Dust pushes her "limits" more than Dash, Spitfire makes Rainbow the wing-pony to Dust's lead in the teamed-flying course. Rainbow Dash complains about this, but Spitfire tells Dash to screw off. A noble jest, I admit. The course begins, and in it, Rainbow Dash finds out that Lightning Dust ins't just a tryhard...she's a blowhard too. With hot-headed decision-making that leads to Dash injuring her wing, it seems Rainbow might have a decent argument for Spitfire now. However, she plays it off after Lightning continues receiving praise and Rainbow gets disapproving gaze from Spitfire.

 

The only thing that's hurt more than my wing......is my pride penis.

 

Pinkie Pie slowly gets more retarded waiting for Dash's letter, so the other four assholes approach her, and together they decide to deliver a care package to her in person. Back at the academy, Dust and Dash are doing the Air Obstacle Course, an exercise to mark precision under extreme circumstances. It's not a race, but Lightning Dust treats it as such and completely neglects the well-being of the rest of the squad, resulting in even more uncertainty from Rainbow Dash. In a similar exercise later, Dust pushes it even further by wanting to create a tornado that will "blow away" their competition. Reluctantly, Rainbow Dash remembers Spitfire's words regarding Lightning Dust's persistence and agrees to this. However, shit gets out of control just in time for Pinkie Pie and Co. to show up in a hot air balloon with the care package and get sucked into the tornado, falling to their doom.

 

If only this was the series finale.................

 

Rainbow Dash must act quickly to save her friends, so she creates some cloud-trampoline thingy to bounce them into the air so that the rest of the squad can catch 'em all. It's when Lightning Dust's careless actions start interfering with the well-being of others, including her friends, that Rainbow Dash draws the line. If Spitfire praises this dangerous behavior, and that's what gets you to be a Wonderbolt, then Rainbow Dash wants no part of it, and henceforth resigns from the academy. It's at this point that Spitfire realizes that Lightning Dust is a little bitch and sends her home, keeping Rainbow Dash in the loop as a lead-pony to chase her dreams even further.

 

 

And so concludes "Wonderbolts Academy"

 

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Egh...this one's a bit tough.

 

I'd say that a lot of this episode was mediocre, if not irritating. Lightning Dust was ultimately a really lackluster addition to the episode, as she just sort of got sent home never to be heard from again. On top of that, there's all the Spitfire shit-fire that annoyed me to no end. At the same time, though, Rainbow Dash's reaction to Lightning Dust later on and her eventual resignation, was very interesting for her as a character. She was willing to give up her dreams for the well-being of her friends, which reinforces the element of loyalty in her. Perhaps it's a repetitive moral for us, but it speaks volumes for Rainbow Dash's development, so I quite liked that. When looking at this whole episode overall, it's kind of hard to just outright say "this was great" or "this was shit". I can't even say "meh" for once. It's a mixed bag, really. So, given all of this, I think "Wonderbolts Academy" deserves a 7/10. Certainly an interesting little fucker.

 

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Watching this episode, though, made me realize something about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic overall. It too is a mixed bag. A lot of the series is mediocre, if not irritating, and so many things in this show fall absolutely flat on its ass. MLP can be vomit-inducing, cringeworthy, bastardizing, and all-out worthy of outrage with a shit ton of its plot-points, characters, and story arcs. Reviewing both seasons one and two, which I once upon a time believed were majesties of story, did I realize had so many moments of disappointment and frustration. Taking just the bad of the series, you could look at the entire brony fandom and say, "what the fuck is wrong with you in-breds? My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic has got to be the most overrated and overhyped TV series of all time!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...

 

But then you look at what works with it. You take episodes like "Sleepless in Ponyville", "Hurricane Fluttershy", "A Friend in Deed", "Sisterhooves Social", "Luna Eclipsed", "Party of One", "The Cutie Mark Chronicles", "Look Before You Sleep", and many others, and you see the true essence of the characters, the real depth that can go into the stories, and you think, "wow, this is one of the greatest TV series of all time." For those moments, you forget about the bullshit. In moments of bullshit, you forget about the high points. And I think no less is true with season five, honestly. Yes, the fifth season is a load of shit, with so much to bag on, but there is cream in that crop. "Canterlot Boutique" is one of them, which is one episode I cannot wait to review. It's when I watch that episode that I think, if season five wasn't around, that episode probably never would've existed. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is a crock of horse-shit, and an equestrian paradise at the same time.

 

 

 

Granted, even with this said, I can't go on forever with the show. I will grow impatient with it, and I will grow tired of reviewing it. Since there is no telling how long this series will go on, I've ultimately come to a decision about my time-frame for the series.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The 2017 My Little Pony Movie.

 

That film will be the last thing I review. I will review season seven if it airs before the film. If it doesn't, fuck it. The 2017 movie is the end of my reviews, and likely the end of my tenure watching the show, assuming I'm fed up with it at that point. The good news is, we're not quite halfway there. We're only midway through season three, and still have four, five, six, and maybe seven to go. So let's make the best of what we've got. I'll see you all next Friday.