Praise the day chopped sperm tail medley was invented as a dish. Let's see what my opinions were on this episode when it first aired:

On 3/18/2014 at 6:34 PM, PrymeStriker said:

Overall, Maud is awesome. 

........Well, I've not written such thrilling, well-thought out reviews with my classic stamp of comedy since "Simple Ways". Let's dive into "Maud Pie".

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So this episode begins with all the ponies arriving at Pinkie Pie's....................anonymous building I don't think we've ever seen before...............where she implores them to taste test a bunch of rock candy that she's forged for the arrival of her sister, presumably the titular character of this episode, Super Mario. After the "Skip Intro" button makes me wanna fuck a leech...in a good way...we learn that the candy is not only for Maud, but also for the rest of them so that they can all make rock candy necklaces together. I remember when I met my good friend Ted Bundy near the lava pits of Dis, and we made friendship necklaces. They were eyeball necklaces, but friendship necklaces nonetheless. Therefore, I can sympathize with the premise. Pinkie Pie assumes that she, her sister, and her friends will all become the best-est of best-ish friends, and proceeds to pick Maud up from the train station while the other five nigglets set up a picnic for the lot. Everyone's quite nervous to hit it off with Maud for Pinkie Pie's sake, but when Maud finally arrives...slowly walking over the hilly brush...the ponies learn that she's basically a monotonous bore to contrast with Pinkie Pie. And we fucking love it, don't we folks?

"This rock is the exact size and shape of my last kidney stone."

When the other five ponies try to make conversation with Maud Pie, we learn that Maud's behavior is liken to that of someone with a severe case of......oh, how do I put this in the most politically correct terms.............Assburger's Sydrome. This makes for some great comedic moments coupled with the dull delivery of her lines and the way the animators tackle her facial expressions, like when she says that the game of Camouflage is "like Hide and Seek but way more intense", they lift up her eyelids to accentuate the extensive "way", but in a very sloth-like manner to the point where they don't even bulge like you would expect. This episode is full of halfway anti-jokes like that, and we fucking love it, don't we folks? So after a fruitless game of Camouflage, Pinkie Pie takes Maud back to her house to try the rock candy they're going to use to engage in incestuous intercourse make their friendship necklaces. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND here's the problem with this episode. Pinkie Pie's insistence that her friends become best friends with her sister when they lot of them clearly have nothing in common is ridiculous. You can't force anyone to be friends with someone else, especially when their interests so obviously divide to great distances. This concept is pushed to more ridiculous and plot-crippling extremes in season five, but this is the first time chronologically in the show that I'm noticing it. Therefore, the five dumbcocks deduce that the best course of actions is for each of them to try to befriend Maud one at a time rather than all at once. First up is Rarity, where Maud insists on crafting a scarf out of a dishtowel. Ahahah......heh..............*ahem*......................................

Maud and Pinkie Pie while watching the ever-thrilling film adaption of "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Next is Fluttershy, where Maud dismisses interest in animals in favor of rocks. Aha..........................................................*coughs blood*. Y'know, I remember finding this episode absolutely hilarious because of Maud's dull delivery. What happened? I clearly didn't outgrow deadpan humor. Kyle Eschen videos still make me jizz blue slurry. Even the more recent "The Gift of Maud Pie" episode made me laugh a lot harder than this one currently is. Err.....I mean........Maud Pie, don't we...fucking love it, folks? Well, let's see. The episode isn't over. Even "The Maud of Gift Pie" didn't have me completely rolling on the floor until the end of the second act. This is only the first half. Let's continue with the Maudening of the friends. At Twilight's, Maud recites a poem about rocks: "Rock. You are a rock. Grey, you are grey. Like a rock, which you are, rock...................I've written thousands". Meh, that joke was pretty good. With Applejack, we see Maud peeling apples by completely obliterating them with rocks. Okay, that was also pretty good. Finally, with Rainbow Dash, we see her and Maud participating in a rock-throwing contest. When Rainbow Dash manages to throw a moderately-sized rock across the pond, Maud shows her up by throwing a rock way over the hills of Ponyville, where it lands off in the horizon, causing a massive explosion that sends ripples through the air and blows almost the entire pond on to Rainbow Dash.

...Ah, there we go, I actually laughed. About fucking time.

Remember when we used to drop those on Japan? That was fun.

Back at Pinkie Pie's, once everyone's realized that they don't have anything worth sharing with Maud, they finally break down and admit to Pinkie Pie that it may be impossible for them and her sister to become friends. Finally, someone fucking says something. This obviously disappoints Pinkie Pie, but if I'm perfectly honest, I couldn't give less than one rat's molten ass. Pinkie Pie has gone full retard if she thought she could force people to become friends with each other. I feel like she learned this before, though, about not trying to force friendships. Oh wait, she DID. In "A Friend in Deed", when she tried to get Cranky Doodle Donkey to be her friend. If she learns this same lesson by the end of it all, we can add this to the list of season four rehash morals. Well, let's see if I'll be brushing my teeth with cyanide juice tonight. After Pinkie Pie's fit of disappointment in not being able to bring everyone closer together, she decides on one super-activity that will bring everyone closer together. An obstacle/puzzle course called "PinkieRainbowRariTwiAppleFlutterMaudSuperCaliFragilisticExpiAliDociousMegaUltraQuasigenderFuckazoidTicktardNigerianAIDS-SandwichKikeDoodlePantsFunTime". This insane course of epic proportions includes an applesauce tunnel for Applejack, glitter fabric for Rarity, running through books for Twilight, "critter time" for Fluttershy (yikes), a cupcake dome for Pinkie Pie, a rockslide for Maud, and it all being a race is for Rainbow Dash. The other stuff is all represented by the word "gay" written on a big billboard. 

I smell a vomit coming on.

The others show concern for the safety of participating in this clusterfuck of fuck-all, so Pinkie Pie demonstrates how each task is done. Except, when she gets her leg caught in the rock slide and the whole thing starts to fall apart, Maud super-runs to the rescue and basically digs the biggest boulder in the rockslide into dust with her own hooves........sorry, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? This insane ability of Maud's comes out of left field without the slightest of explanation other than "duhhhhhhh sister love lul sing me a Frozen song". After that clusterfuck, Maud basically says "this is bullshit, I don't have anything in common with these ponies, screw you guys, I'm going home". Just when you wish that was the end of the episode, Twilight deduces that they all have one special thing in common with Maud that only the closest of friends could share...........their love for Pinkie Pie? Ah yes, of course. You see, if you're best friends with ya nigga, and yo nigga has a brother who's very close to ye nigga but he's a serial killing rape murderer, that makes you super ultra best friends with that person because you both love yi nigga a lot. BULL. TOTAL BULL. And of course, when Maud is asked if she agrees with this sentiment, she breaks into emotional whimsy and spouts out.............."Sure".

....................................................................Alright, that made me laugh pretty hard, especially given the ridiculousness of the "resolve" up to that point. In the end, Maud receives all the many friendship candy necklaces, and puts them all in a box with all the other necklaces Pinkie Pie's made. As Maud explains, she doesn't like candy. 

"Heathen. Away with your head. Put her in the chamber with the hounds where she can rot in a thousand days of the torturous removal of the flesh from her bones. Candy reigns supreme says the Princess of Friendship!"

And so concludes "Maud Pie"..............................................wait a minute, what the fuck was the moral of that?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Looks like yet another polarizing episode.

"Maud Pie" has some good comedy in it, though a lot of it is rather hit or miss compared to future Maud appearances. This aspect surprised me given how much I remember liking Maud. And I do, as a character, she is quite the antithesis of this show's colorful cast of smiley fucks. Her dynamic with Pinkie Pie, especially that scene on the train where they share just one-on-one dialogue, is certainly interesting. It's just that I guess I expected to laugh more like I've done with Maud before, and that just didn't happen this time. Maybe that's for the better, because it allowed me to see this episode's somewhat flawed storytelling. Now, granted, there's nothing wrong with the pacing or anything wrong with the way the story is told, it's just these key elements that drive me up the wall: the premise and the moral. Pinkie Pie trying to force her friends to become best friends with her sister is a stupid premise because 1) It's a goal that becomes rather annoying and grating after a while given we know these ponies aren't getting along, and 2) because Pinkie Pie learned not to force friendships before. I'm being a little lenient on how many points this flaw deducts, though, because there's admittedly one thing that makes this episode different from the likes of "A Friend in Deed". In that episode, Pinkie Pie was trying to force a friendship between herself and a stranger. Here, she's trying to force a friendship between two parties that she knows very personally and assumed would get along well. I can believe that Pinkie Pie would want her friends to become friends with a relative because I can believe someone would want this in real life. Usually, though, people in real life realize when it's not gonna happen, which brings me to the moral, or lack thereof. What the hell is this episode trying to teach? That if you and a stranger have a mutual friend or otherwise strong bond with the same person, you should accept that stranger as your own friend despite whether or not you two get along? Maybe that would work when you two have to share time with the mutual friend, but not when trying to click on a one-on-one basis. This episode, to my memory, is the first of a handful of episodes moving forward, both in this season and most prominently in the next, where we see our characters trying to push off friendship as an abide-by-or-die practice. It only gets worse from here. So, what about this episode? Were the flaws of the storytelling matched or outweighed by Maud's characterization or her dynamic with Pinkie Pie? I think they both share equal footing, honestly. The positives in this episode are just as valid as the negatives. I think I'll give "Maud Pie" a 6/10 overall. 

And...yeah...Maud isn't quite awesome just yet.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All I want for Christmas is a Pakistani pair of boob legs.