*Relatively spoiler-free*

I absolutely love Disney movies, especially the animated classics of the Disney renaissance.  Beauty & the Beast is one of my favorite movies of any kind of all time, and The Little Mermaid also holds a special place in my metaphorical heart.  I'm also a person who loathes and despises half-assed, crappy, cash-grab sequels, unwelcome belated continuations, and basically any other poorly-executed, lore-damaging entries in franchises.  I often wish that movies/shows could just be standalone--one good series or movie, then let it rest and leave it alone.  But I already did a rant about this.

When I love any movie, my knee-jerk reaction to the announcement of a sequel is invariably:

I think I can be forgiven for having this reaction.  After all, Hollywood's habit of desecrating beloved franchises with garbage sequels and continuity-destroying continuations knows no bounds.  The animated Disney classics are integral parts of my childhood, but for my whole life, I have adamantly refused to watch almost all sequels to any of these movies.  Little Mermaid 2 & 3, Beauty & Beast: Enchanted Christmas, Cinderella 2 & 3--these abominations seemed like nothing but heinous, sacrilegious cash grabs to me.  I refused to watch them out of principle.  In my mind, they could do nothing but damage the lore.

Fast-forward to today--my family subscribes to Disney+.  I started browsing the animated movie collection to catch up on a few gems that had slipped by me all these years.  (I had never gotten around to WALL*E, for example.)  I also looked at some of the crappy sequels, just reading the descriptions out of morbid curiosity.  Then I had a fun idea: I decided on a whim that I would watch every single crappy sequel.  Why?  I dunno.  Because they're there?  Because they're all free as long as we subscribe?  Just for the fun of seeing how bad they are?  I think it was mostly for the MST3K value.  The challenge was to watch every stupid, garbage, crappy Disney thing every made.  The only exception is that if I never liked or saw the original movie in the franchise, then I can skip it, but if I liked the original (which is almost all of them), then I have to watch every stupid thing ever made in that franchise, no matter how bad.

I secretly felt excited about this, because I liked the idea of seeing new stuff with the beloved characters from my childhood, but making it an MST3K challenge gave me "permission" to watch the crappy sequels and not feel guilty or embarrassed about it.

I started with Cinderella 2: Dreams Come True.  It was... okay.  Not great.  But y'know what?  It was better than I imagined.  It was a trio of short stories.  Part 2 sucked, but parts 1 and 3 weren't half bad.  Relatively speaking, anyway.  There were redeeming qualities, and I rather enjoyed them, even though they skimped on the voice acting and animation, as is usually the case in straight-to-video cash grab sequels.  Then it was on to the dreaded Cinderella 3: A Twist in Time.  For decades, I had put this movie on a pedestal as an example of one of the worst, stupidest, most ridiculous premises for a movie, ever.  But you know what?  ...It sucked.    Lol.  But y'know what?  It didn't suck as hard as I thought it would!  I actually enjoyed it.  I have some major grievances, but it also wasn't the worst, most steaming pile of sh*t ever made, either.

Next came Beauty & the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas.  The very existence of this movie had always offended me.  As soon as I saw a picture of it back in the 90s, I was outraged simply because they were all still cursed!  The beast and his staff were still a beast and living furniture!  Did they just forget the ending to the original movie?!  What treachery was this?!  I would have no part of such treason.

Quick aside--I've always had what I felt was cool headcanon about B & the B.  Remember the wolf attack scene when beast saves Belle?  Now, remember the snowball fight they had on what appeared to be the next day?  That was the scene when the romance started to blossom, and they were singing "there's something there that wasn't there before" in their heads.  Did you ever notice the continuity error that the beast's arm wounds from the wolf attack were suddenly healed?  Well, my headcanon was that an entire year had passed between the wolf attack and the snowball fight.  This would be a much more believable timeline for friendship and romance to develop.

Well, guess what?  (Minor spoiler)  That's basically what they did in The Enchanted Christmas!!  Well, not quite.  Not a whole year.  (And a full year time passage wouldn't make sense with what was going on with Maurice and Gaston in the village.)  But they did reveal that the entire Enchanted Christmas movie took place in between the wolf attack and the snowball fight!  It's not entirely clear exactly how much time passed, but probably about a month.  Enough time for the cuts on the beast's arms to heal,  So, headcanon (mostly) confirmed, and egregious continuity error averted.  It wasn't a heinous sacrilege after all!  How do ya like that?  I could have been enjoying it all these years if only I hadn't have been so stubborn.  Good grief. 

Anyway, the movie wasn't too bad.  Not a masterpiece, but enjoyable, and not lore destroying.  It was fun, and the animation quality and voice acting were basically on par with the original movie.  I'm glad I watched it.

Moving on to my beloved Little Mermaid--Ariel was my first crush when I was little, so I was nervous and excited--nervouscited--to see her in something new to me.  Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea sucked.  It sucked monkey f*ck.  SUCKED MONKEY F*CK.  It was contrived and cringey, the story was meh, the animation quality looked like a 5 year-old drew it with a crayon, and Prince Eric sounded like a South Park character.  But still, I enjoyed it anyway.

Next came Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning.  I was... blown away, actually!  It was great!  I really, really loved it.  I mean, it's far from perfect, and I could pick apart some story flaws, but overall it was really well done, particularly the animation.  The difference between when Disney actually tires vs when they don't give a sh*t cannot be over-emphasized.  In Mermaid 2, they were just like, "Pffft, it looks like sh*t.  Whatever.  Who cares," and then in #3, they put some effort into it, and the results were amazing.  Ariel's Beginning has gorgeous animation--better than the original, actually.  It's true!  They did a perfect job of maintaining the original look, feel, and vibe while improving it all-around.  It's new and gorgeous, while at the same time meshing perfectly with the original and feeling like a faithful return to your childhood.  Kind of like The Mandalorian and the original trilogy, actually.  I just can't get over how beautiful the animation was.  I know I'm harping on this a lot, but it really is.  There just isn't a single bad frame.  I actually enjoyed it so much that it revitalized my love of the franchise and character, and made me remember why I fell in love with Ariel when I was a little kid.

Okay, let's turn up the rating and get real for just a moment.  Ariel and her six sisters are hot AF in this movie.  Her sisters are barely in the original, but they have a ton of great screentime with her in this one, and OMFG.--what I wouldn't give to have a slumber party with all seven of those freaking goddesses in that palace bedroom of theirs.  A hot, semi-incestuous, orgy of a slumber party.    Even though in reality it would turn out like "The Deep South" from Futurama... 

Okay, I'm done. 

I'm enjoying these sequels, even the crappy ones, and I'm discovering some gems as well.  Flawed gems, but gems nonetheless.  I shouldn't be so stubborn and prejudiced.  I oughtta be more open to crappy sequels before immediately deciding that they are heinous, sacrilegious abominations unto Celestia.  And even if they are heinous, sacrilegious abominations, I'm still having fun watching them.  Sue me.  It's fun to see my beloved characters in something new, and in my old age, I'm learning that's it's much more enjoyable to let go of my principled stances on franchise lore, stop being such a sourpuss, and just watch stuff.

Except for G5.  I will be keeping my principled stance against that, thank you very much.    And the Halo show.  F*CK that sh*t.    Okay, so I'm hypocritical and I cherry-pick.  Whaddya want?  Get outta my face.