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I don't know what else to say...


Dimitri Hammer

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I finished reading the book "Into the Wild" by Jon Krakauer, and I'm really touched. Chris McCandless was just a amazing man. I saw the movie before I read the book sadly, but I cried after watching the movie and reading the book. His views on the world might be considered crazy by some, but I completely agree with him. We're so materialistic and so fucking rude to each other. Humans are so cruel sometimes.

 

I'm happy I live in Alaska. I visited the place where he passed away back in 1992. I visited the "Magic Bus" on the Stampede trail and I couldn't hold back my tears when I came across the bus. I can not even explain my feelings about it either. Chris reminds me of myself. His thoughts were like mine. He believed that happiness came from experiences and not mainly from human interaction and relationships.

 

Chris changed his thinking though during his last hours on Earth. He wrote down "Happiness only real when shared" just before he died from starvation from eating a poisonous plant. I agree with him. I previously thought that human relationships were false and unneeded to be happy. Back from 2006-2009 I hated people, and felt how he did. I still think the world is too corrupt and evil, but I see the beauty in it too.

 

I see that not every person is a vile being. We need relationships. I've only had real happiness when I shared it with my friends and loved ones. My brother, my late wife, and my friends. I am so happy I had them in my life. I don't know what I would do if I lost my close ones, but I just need to say that I love them intensely. I love them so much and I need them in my life. Sure I could survive in the wilderness too, but without the people I love and care about I'd be living a false life with false happiness.

 

I love them all. My brother Roman, My late wife Aleksandra, My friends Dan, Jacob, and Steven. My mother, and my Эмма. I don't know what I would do if I lost anyone. I can't rely on them for all of my happiness, but I understand that I need them in my life because I love them all so much. Without relationships then what is real happiness?

 

Chris McCandless was an idealist. He wasn't suicidal or crazy or selfish. He was misguided, and he tried to find happiness. He sadly realized happiness comes from relationships too late. I left flowers at the bus when I visited it. I plan to visit the bus often, because he deserves it. The people in my life care for me, and I intensely cherish them. All of their faults, quirkiness, and personalities. I love them, and I love all of you. That's all I can say.

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Love you too man XD

 

 

I did read that book years ago, it's an interesting story nonetheless 

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Perspective is the key to everything, depends on how you see the world, i sometimes continue to see it all being pointless, but there's more to it too. There's the things i might never get to do, and people I'll never get to meet. In a way, the pure fact that everything in front of me is unknown is what continues me to keep going on.

 

And, there's been occasions when i see humanity as being a harsh and cruel kind, but i'm fully aware not everyone is like this gives me hope things might actually change one day, it may be naive of me to say, but i really believe that things'll one day change.

 

It's a bit hard for me to understand how you see things, i myself need to have have some sort of human interaction, or just, any type of interaction at all, without it, it leads me into some sort of insanity, I need to know i have someone to rely on, i am honestly afraid of being alone, since i'm not independent at all, i am dependent on other people, and i have horrible trust issues, I try to push people away and try to fend for myself, but it's honestly hopeless.

 

It's a good thing you changed your perspective, that i can say, i'll look into reading that book too, Dimitri :3

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