I see that i've caught your attention. First off, no, this is not some innuendo-ridden post vaguely implying how awesome it'd be to get in my pants. But you know you want to.

I have a pair of pants that literally creates its own micro-climate. It's strange, I can wear them inside, and they feel like normal pants. Even better actually, since the material is so light and flexible, and they keep my legs and whatnot at a comfortable room temperature. When I go outside, no matter how hot or cold it is, my legs still stay that same, comfortable room temperature. I wore these pants while hiking 60 miles in the summer sun (well, mostly in the sun) and I wear these same pants when shoveling snow in the dead of winter.

These pants are also excellent wind breakers. It can be blowing so hard I can feel the wind through my coat, but theres absolutely no feeling of moving air in my pants. Sure, I feel the fabric moving around, but the wind doesn't get through at all.

This stuffs even water resistant. I spill water on it, and it just beads up and rolls off. It's like, the fabric of the Gods or something. This is what Zeus's robes were made out of, I swear, that's how awesome it is. This fabric could solve any weather related problem we could ever have, even imaginary ones, like global warming There could be a hurricane coming toward you, and if you're wearing these pants, you just whip them off and the micro-climate inside would be unleashed upon the hurricane, totally upsetting the vortex and causing it to go back to being sunny. That's right, these pants can turn hurricanes into sun light. This could solve the the energy crisis as well. Filter crude oil through this, and it refines it way more efficiently than any modern method. Wrap nuclear waste in this, and not only will it cause all the subatomic particles to reform into usable uranium 235, it will absorb the radiation and convert it into happiness. Pure, unadulterated happiness. If you make a messenger bag out of this fabric and give it to a hipster, it'll make him normal again. If you use it to clean the blood off an emo kids wrist, he'll suddenly find meaning in life.

If we could find a way to wrap the world in this stuff, it would not only end all wars, but it would induce insane amounts of scientific advancement in all areas. This stuff will result in scientists curing all disease, cloning (and controlling) dinosaurs, and finding ways to synthesize every single natural resource in a 100% safe way. It would make people stop hating each other over stuff like race and religion. It will end crime. Drugs will no longer be addictive, and if you still take them, the fabric will stop you from doing anything bad while high. You can even feed this stuff to starving children and it will nourish them better than any charity food. This fabric is the solution to all of the worlds problems.

And it's machine-washable