Many seem to think that drinking excessively is what makes me a alcoholic drunk. I haven't gotten drunk for at least two months now. I've cut back on drinking almost all together to about a shot in the afternoon everyother day. Sadly though tonight I've just had four shots of 190-proof Vodka. I know that it's destroying my liver slowly and it is a addiction. Yet I can't seem to control myself when I have recurring bad thoughts. Strangly lately I have had several bad dreams and memories come back to me. I thought I was done with that, but apparently they decided to spring up again after about four years. It's tearing away at my brain and I can't seem to control myself. I just wanted to say that I'm not a alcoholic. I'm just emotionally depressed at the moment, even though I was extremely happy for about three years now. I know that I am happy and everything in my life seems to be perfect but the past takes control of me and seems to make me want to drink. Hopefully this is a phase that'll pass soon.

That's all I have to say for now comrades.