Alienation
...You know, when I first joined this fandom, I thought it was going to be a haven from the ills of the "other world"; I thought it'd be a place where folks checked their petty hubris at the door, focused themselves on just being generally awesome people to one another, and didn't have to worry about popularity or favoritism weighing them down and marginalizing them the way it so often does on the outside. I thought it would be a place where everyone's opinions, as long as they were well-substantiated, carried equal weight.
How naive.
I'll be frank; I despise popularity. I loathe favoritism. You know that moment when you realize you have a lot to bring to the table, but someone who doesn't have nearly as much to offer gets idolized? That's all because people have a subjectively positive feeling towards them as a person - not because they really are, objectively speaking, exceptional at what they do - but because "Hey, this person's cool! Let's lend more credence to what this person has to say or do."
It shocks, baffles, angers and saddens me to my very core to know that even within the walls of what is, allegedly, one of the most tolerant fanbases out there, we still choke on these ugly characteristics of humankind, chewing them over and over like stale vomit, yet refusing to realize we are doing so.
Inevitably, I know that someone's going to chock what I'm saying up to "Oh, u just mad cuz u not popular around here." You know what, you're right about one thing: I'm not popular. I've never been popular. Ever, in my entire fucking life. When I wasn't a verbal punching bag for mean-spirited children in middle school, I was a goddamn ghost of a human being in high school. I never won. One at my level simply cannot hope to win when it is their “betters” who are dictating the rules.
But you know what the funny thing is? I was actually okay with being a literal nothing to anybody of note. The people I called my friends were those who were just as marginalized and forgotten about by society as I was. Equally written off as not worth anyone's time. They say misery loves company, and perhaps that's true…regardless, it helped me pull through.
My point is, being the person crushed by the boot of favoritism is verily dehumanizing. Beyond making you feel as though you are neither seen nor heard by the rest of the world, it makes you doubt your own friends, even those you know would move heaven and earth for you. Definitely not healthy for any party involved, I must say. When I joined this fandom, I was hoping not to have to resort to finding solace in those who were just as downtrodden. I was hoping that everyone here was humbled enough by his or her own life experiences not to think it would be a good idea to hold the same immature pissing contests that you see in literally every other aspect of life.
Did I hope in vain? It certainly is starting to seem that way.
It wouldn’t surprise me to later learn that I am typing this very post in vain. Regardless, I’m pretty much done. Done supporting these pissing contests, for each time I do, I’m only prolonging and promoting this rather ugly facet of our fandom...no, humanity in general. Henceforth, I think I’m just heading back to my old ways, which is to say, not giving a single fuck about the people who concern themselves with being favored, instead focusing my affections towards the friends whom I know give an equally nil amount of fucks.
That's all I have to say about that, really. This isn't an "I'm leaving the forums/fandom" post. Simply an "I'm leaving you dillweeds who care about nothing but reveling in this circle jerk behavior to choke on your own vomitus" post. And to those who aspire to be like one of these people, have fun "Becoming Popular". You're gonna need it.
If you took the time to read this in its entirety, thanks and peace be with you.
Update:
To clear things up for those who completely missed the point, this is not a mindless, hate-filled rant directed at people who just happen to be popular. There are plenty of popular people in the world who are so simply because they happen to have genuinely great personalities. It is only natural that their magnetic personalities cause people to flock to them, and for that, I bear them no ire.
Specifically - and this IS a reiteration, stated multiple times within my OP, for those who conveniently glossed over it - my ire is directed towards three types of people:
-People who want to be popular/favored more than anything else, and will tread on anyone in order to achieve that
-People who revel in their already-existing popularity/favoritism and use it to their advantage wherever possible
-People who endorse the behavior of these sociopaths by clinging on their every word, brown-nosing them at every turn
But much more than expressing distaste for these people, this blog was chiefly intended to raise awareness of the discouraging effects of favoritism on people who just. Want. Their. Fucking. Voice. Heard. I KNOW half of you reading this have been guilty, at some point, of browsing through threads, totally skipping over the posts of anyone who ranks as a Parasprite or lower, until you find someone well-known to see what they have to say...and then, of course, brohoofing their post out of sheer habit.
It's this very reason why I believe some new members join up, hang around for no more than a week, and then disappear forever. Who the hell wants to be involved in a community that automatically assumes "the n00bs ain't got shit to say worth noting"? Nobody, that's who.
- 6
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