Troblems

Looks good. Sorry for the wait. Fantastic picture of him, by the by. Approved.

Moved to update her look per Mentis' request.

Legit. Approved.

Hi @@95% Chance,

Reviewing this character again, most of it looks good. The issue comes in when creating an entire country that isn't part of the show's lore. While I love the name you came up with, EQE rules only allow for the creation of small towns to be used in backstories. 

That being said, removing the details about Prance being another country, and just having it be 'far away' from Cloudsdale should suffice. If you want to change the backstory in general and come up with something else, that's fine, too.

I wanted to add this so it isn't forgotten:

All pony OC’s are required to have a picture! You may use the Ponycreator if you wish.

Iron Will was briefly held as a cast character, so he'll be the first Minotaur OC, but not the first Minotaur in EQE.

I really like this character a lot, and a few minor tweaks to him should be enough.

• Normally, orphan characters are ill advised, because it's so overused. However, in this particular case it works. One thing I would advise is naming the couple that owns the orphanage, because in the places you refer to them, it's a bit cryptic who "the couple" is. Either that or clarify that it's the couple that owns the orphanage. Considering how much of a role they play in his life, names would be preferable.
• The first sentence of the third paragraph in the backstory section is wonky, and seems to be either missing a word, or at least a letter. Rephrasing the entire sentence for clarity sake would be wise.

Since that has been fixed, and Eloquence gave her stamp of approval, looks good from my end as well, so approved.

Okay, so minor grammatical fix:

'...which leaves her having to really on the less...'

I think you were looking to put rely there. Apparently I missed that on the first go around.

Also, with what you said about the title, if you would add something along the lines of self-appointed knight, for clarifications sake.

As for the WIP and age change, there were alterations made to the database itself, to make it easier on the staff, so that's why those changes happened.

This really doesn't need much change, but there are two things I'm a tad confused about, and I'm not sure if they're intentional.

• She doesn't care for high society, but she's obsessed with Alicorns, which presumably they would be apart of.
• The other is her picking on bookish foals. You talk about how she makes fun of them, but when starts defending the foal, she's in the library. I know that's when here aha moment happens, that's apart of it, but it seems a bit out of place. Additionally, presumably some of her interactions with the stories she loves so much would come from books. Perhaps changing the word bookish within the backstory to something like less popular would resolve that.
• Finally, EQE doesn't usually allow for awarded titles. However, if the title of knight in this instance is self-appointed, I'm okay with that.

When two characters that are linked in some way are submitted they are worked on one at a time. The reason for this is if massive changes are needed, it can vastly alter the backstory of both characters, making significantly more work for both the person submitting as well as the staff.

Looks good overall, but you used person once and people twice. All three instances would need to be removed. Additionally in the last line of the third paragraph from the bottom, Ponyville is mentioned, but the P isn't capitalized. Fixed that and you should be set.

Hi there,

Currently your character is marked as a work in progress, and will not be reviewed until that is no longer the case.

Hi @@RivkaBobble,

While I like this character, I feel like the information given is quite sparse. You give more about the characters she writes about than of her, particularly in the personality section. If you could beef that up a bit more, that would be good. Additionally, normally members try to paint their characters in a positive light. Even though they all have negative qualities, those aren't usually the first thing list. And so I'd like to ask, why is the first words to describe her "quite dull?"

You wouldn't have to draw a new picture. Only pony OCs require pictures. You can do the approval first and add a picture later, if you feel so inclined.

Then it appears we are at an impasse. As this character stands currently, she is ineligible to be approved for this section.

I'd also like to add this:

Your OC is also not a genderbent or carbon copy version of an existing canon character, nor its personality mirror image under different coat and mane color.

Basically, we already have a tomboy-ish fast flying pony with the name Dash. This should be your OC, not a copy of a character that already exists.

Hi Scribblegroove,

For the time being your second character review is going to have to wait. I'm on vacation, damn it!

• While him having larger wings is fine (although all wings of MLP characters are comically small for their size, as well as how heavy ponies are) the picture you have shows him as having the princess wing model.
• During the date in which he got his cutie mark, he intuitively seems to know how to breath in the lower atmosphere, which comes across kind of strange. Considering his slow and patient manner, it would stand to reason that he would meditate regularly, and could apply those principles to areas with lower air. Just being able to do it seems far fetched.  If you want to go about him learning that skill a different way, that's fine.

Other than that, it looks good.

This all looks good, I think have a more contrary character in EQE to kick up some dust would be fun. There's one thing that I really see that needs to be changed, which is the mid-twenties age range, since we don't know how long ponies live.

Hi @@Tornadopelt,

First, I love the idea for this character. It's a refreshing change. You've got a great start here, and you're quite close. However there are a few tweaks needed to have your character accepted into EQE:

• While his mental issue is vague enough for the section, it should be relegated to the "other" section.
• Your application is extremely wordy and disorganized. While it's great to have detail, stating the same thing several times seems a tad silly. 
• Exact ages aren't allowed. Young Stallion is probably what you should be shooting for in the age section. There's also two references to his age in the backstory that would need to be removed.
• Same with the exact temperature, you'll probably want to go with something along the lines of pleasantly warm days, or something along those lines.
• The references to alcohol, drugs and cigarettes are unnecessary. They aren't something that is used or even acknowledged in this section of RP.
• Where you talk about most other pegasi going into weather related professions, that says more about other pegasi than your character. Many in place of most would be a far better classification, since that hasn't shown to be necessarily true.
• We don't know how much ponies know about the periodic table of elements. While it's fine to have him explore what's in the popper, the details of what is actually in it should be more vague.

If you have any questions, feel free to reply here in the character sheet. You can find the OC rules here:

https://mlpforums.com/topic/118570-equestrian-empire-rules-and-how-to-join/?p=2911836

For characters to be reviewed, they can't be marked as a work in progress.

Overall looks good, except for one thing: The name of the ancient deer city. EQE allows for the names of small towns that aren't canon, but considering how large the city seems to be, something of that size would probably have a fairly large effect. Perhaps go with the name of the city being lost in the annuls of time.

10/10 should be cast.

For her age, you can also use "young mare" as female zebras are also referred to as mares.

Looks good to me. Approved.