Scrambled_Egghead

Kiwi chuckled, "Let him try a swig of drakeling and he almost puked his damned eyes out. Takes an earth pony to handle alcie that strong." She focused back on the fight. "But don't take what I said wrong, That Minotaur is a might stronger than you give him credit for. That armor he took off wasn't just some training weights. They were a seal. Can't ya feel him now? It's like his energy was trapped inside a that suit and now it's come out to say hello."

Kiwi stepped up behind Tempest. She had been walking around the top of the stadium, observing the fight when she saw him. She was acting different than normal. Her eyes weren't glazed over and her voice was clear. She was sober. "The big one ain't a fuss," She said cryptically.

@, Before Kiwi could answer his question, she gulped down her entire bottle without even removing her lips from the bottle until she was done. She finished the entire drink in five long gulps without taking any sort of break. This should have been impossible for even the most experienced drinker. Alcohol did not affect her in the normal way. After she gracelessly tossed the empty bottle aside she said, "I didn't get it from nowhere. I brew it all myself. You see, traditional drinks just can't get me chockers the way I need it, so I started makin' me own. What you're drinking is the kiddie version. I got a drink that's almost as strong as four of these at once. I call it the dragon killa."

"Alright, then," Kiwi said in a slightly condescending manner. She reached into a cabinet that was filled with bottles. She pulled out a green bottle that was slightly smaller than most of the others. "Here she is," she announced. "What a beute, wouldn't you say?" She set the bottle down on a counter, then she pulled out a second one. "Never drink alone!" She said. She handed one bottle to Crimson, then she picked up the second bottle and opened it by bashing the top of the bottle against the stone counter, shattering the glass on the top of the bottle and leaving a gaping opening for her to drink from. "One last warning before you drink, If you ain't got the stomach, this stuff'll probably kill ya'," she warned.

Kiwi gestured for him to follow her and answered Crimson's question as they walked. "I call it the drakeling. It's the second strongest drink I brew. A sip of it's got enough alcie to make your head spin right off!" When they reached her hotel room, she gestured for him too walk in first.

Kiwi laughed uncontrollably even though Crimson hadn't said anything funny. She wiped a tear from her eye. "A couple drinks he says!" She repeated, "Mate, I'd be surprised if you could handle a sip! I've got something special for you, but you'd have to follow me to my hotel room. I'll show you a drink you've never had before."

Kiwi caught up to Crimson after his fight before he could ho to the hotel. She had a thick saddlebag on her back. "I see you managed to win a fight for once," she said jokingly while rubbing her nose. "I think that's really rippa'. What do ya say we do a little to celebrate? You look like someone who could appreciate a fine brew."

"Didn't anyone even watch my damn fight?" Kiwi angrily asked to no one in particular, "It may be a might dangerous to fight drunk, but its a might more dangerous to fight someone 'else whose drunk. You get what I'm trying to throw at you? But I don't suppose we have time for this, your match is starting. Better not be late!"

"Of course I was chockers. Wha's the point of gettin' in a blue if you don't allow yourself to have some fun?" She hiccuped and almost lost her balance, but managed to stand upright. "Say, you look like you've had a bit of grog yourself. lookin' for something stronger?"

@, @, Kiwi stumbled in and interrupted. "Swear, the stairs were a lot more sideways then they usually are," she slurred. She shuffled next to Tempest and gave him a pat on the shoulder, "I never got to tell you this, but you put on a good show," she said. She eventually noticed Crimson Grinn and stared at him with her heavily intoxicated eyes. "The fuck is this bloke?" She asked.

Kiwi slurred something that was completely inaudible as she crawled onto the ring and tossed her half empty whiskey bottle into the crowd. When she finally made it to her side of the ring, she took a staggered stance while still swaying slightly. "Let me dob you in on somethin' mate," She said in a barely audible tone, "I've been waitin' for a good blue for a while! Flap your gums all you want, but just remember that the only thing I suck at is PAPER ROCK SCISSORS!" Her nonsensical ranting left the crowd wondering if she was being serious. "What the hell is she saying?" one cried out confusedly. "Okay, sixth match of the dark tournament, Hirue versus Kiwi," Juri announced, "BEGIN!" Kiwi sidestepped a few paces, keeping a good distance from her opponent. "Alright, ya blue bellied, creepy bastard, I'll let you have the first go," she offered. Hirue smirked, "If you think me creepy now, then you are ill prepared for the horrors that are in store for you!" The skin on his body ripped and fell off in shreds. His face began to lump up and shift around as well, causing his sunglasses to fall off and reveal that his eyes were solid black. underneath his skin was a leathery, green skin like that of a toad. His shape changed, replacing each leg with two tentacles. His torso turned upright and an enormous mouth opened on his chest. Two claws sprouted from his shoulder sockets with a small mouth in each palm. His mouth was replaced by a small green trunk with a suction like opening at the end. "I am Hirue! The Inlet of Leaches!" he cried maliciously. "Wow!" Topaz said speechlessly, "Can I just say wow? Hirue has transformed himself into... something! I don't know what it is, but he's got a lot of mouths and it looks like they bite!" Hirue continued to rant, "I am the pinnacle of your nightmares! The... the..." He noticed Kiwi looking quite complacent. "Why aren't you scared?" "Why should I be?" "BECAUSE I'M A FREAKING DEMON!" Hirue exclaimed, "I'm the darkest creature from realms unknown!" "And I don't give a passing piss if you're a wizard from the brightest corner of Waverly Place! You're still nothin' compared to Tempest!" She insulted. "Oh come on! My claws have FRACKING MOUTHS ON THEM!" "Yes, and I'm sure your nightime naughty is fantastic. Now, can we get on with this?" "THAT'S IT!" Hirue shouted. He sprung into the air and prepared to strike Kiwi. "I will not be made a fool!" When Hirue landed to strike and swung a claw at Kiwi, she dodged it so fluently that it was like he had attacked the air itself. He continued to angrily swing at her with his claws and tentacles, but no matter how precise the beast was, he couldn't even come close to hitting her. Her drunken, sporadic, and unpredictable movements made her an impossible target. Hirue came down with one final, mighty swing that was meant to crush her head, but when the attack was meant to land, Kiwi moved so fast that she seemed to disappear, only to reappear behind Hirue. "HELL OF A PARTY!" She cried before she struck at the back of his neck with impossible force. Her hoof and leg smashed through his skin, muscle and bone, and completely severed the demon's head from the rest of its grotesque body.

"Right then love," Kiwi said jokingly, "But I gotta blue." She backed away from Selune and accidentally fell on her plot. "Why's the floor so damn wobbly?" she mumbled to herself. She did not seem to be ready for a fight. She grabbed another bottle of whiskey in her muzzle and wobbled out of the lounge. When she made her way to the arena, she entered through the wrong door and started on Hirue's side of the stadium. Realizing her mistake, she stumbled to the correct side while swaying to and fro and sipping from her drink. When she made it to her side of the ring, she tried to get up on the circular platform, but fell down on her back. "Now there's no need to make the floor higher up. Let's just 'ave some fun," She slurred.

(THA FAQ?) Being extremely intoxicated, it took Kiwi a while to understand what had happened, and even then she didn't fully believe it. "I wasn't being serious you bloody dill! The hell was that? You don't pash a mare who's chockers out the head!" She shouted.

"You're an upright creepy bastard aren't you?" Kiwi slurred in an endearing way. "So, lets not keep me waiting on the surprise. What the hell is it? Are we going on a date, because if so, you're not my type. But maybe I could work with it." (She's drunk. Don't read anything into this.)

(Heres the link again. http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/kiwi-puff-r7031 Sorry that it's not very complete.) Kiwi didn't exactly know what Selune was getting at. She sat up in a hunched over position, a quizzical look in her eye. "What are you cheesing about. Don't believe me, or do ya find something else amusing?"

"Hey, fuck off, you two," Kiwi slurred. She was only referring to Selune, but thought she was two ponies due to her blurred vision. "I'm not some damn cadbury! 'Sides, I drunk better when I fight!" She stumbled back uncontrollably and fell onto a couch in an uncomfortable position. "Tha's just lovely," She mumbled, "As soon as I start having fun, the room starts getting all wobbly."

"Right and if I got some blind chap fightin' me, I'll have a different advantage, wont I?" Kiwi said. She was displaying an impressive amount of logical reasoning for somepony who had drank as much as she had. "Like I said, alcie doesn't effect me like it does a normal bloke. I got..." She abruptly stopped talking as she felt her stomach squirm. She immediately covered her mouth and closed her lips tight. I think somethin' I ate this morning is coming back to say hello, she thought. She picked up a small trash bin that was near her and used it as a vomit bucket. (Charming to be sure.)

neat.

"Drunken fist? The hell is that? It's called Zui Quan!" Kiwi said as if she had been offended. The alcohol was exaggerating her emotions. "You get distracted by my irregular moves. It's supposed to be confusing or something of the sort. Most Zui Quan masters don't actually fight drunk. I added that to make it more bonza."

"Thank's mate, I'm much obliged!" Kiwi said with genuine enthusiasm. She clenched the cup and began guzzling it down with speeds that shouldn't be possible. The glass didn't stand a chance. It was empty in seconds. She lowered the glass and placed a hoof on her belly as she leaned back in her chair and belched. "Right on ya, cobber! Gotta say, Godric, you're alright by my book." Kiwi leaned forward with a red blush under her eyes signaling that she was definitely intoxicated. "Let me dob you in on somethin'," she said with a slurred voice, "It takes a lot more than that to get me chockers... 'sides, I'm like a master at drunken fighting!"

Kiwi's eyes widened and she no longer paid any attention to the fight. She gave off a sharp whistle and said, "Crikey! That's a lot of grog!" She inched a little closer to Godric and spoke in a lower tone. "You know, alcie just aint as potent for me as it is for another, I need damned near a ton if I want ta get chockers. You know what I'm sayin'?"

@,@, Kiwi was watching the fight intently. Her whiskey bottle had mysteriously become empty. That bloke's got a hell of a thick accent. The hell's a bloke supposed to understand a word of it? She thought. She thought. After a moment of silence, she slammed the empty bottle on the ground and shouted, "WHERE'S THE GODDAMN BOOZE?"

Despite her intoxicated state, Kiwi had a similar reaction ti the fight. Her glazed over eyes changed to where they could almost be called sober. Alcohol did not affect her in the normal way. "Right up arse like that aint got Buckey's chance! I'll give him a blue myself if I get the chance!"