Literally Snails

Equestria is literally the most equal fictional land I have ever seen. You could even say that it's the reverse of Earth. Since every pony in a position of high power is female.

 

By the way, there was a female royal guard in the background of one of the comics, and she was wearing a captain's uniform. She's on the first panel of issue #7.

meh... caddicerus is funnier XD

Oh really now? Can he do... THIS?

 

 

 

Jontron makes Katy Perry sound like a little girl singing into her hairbrush by comparison! 

 

 

DONT YOU FEEL THAT SOMETIMES

WE SHOULD JUST STOP MAKING GAMES?

Pretty sure I've watched his Sonic R video at least 20 times. Never fails to make me laugh.

 

Welcome to Sonic team! We make games, I think!

 

What the... F K IS A SONIC?

Some of my favorite out-of-context lines:

 

 

NOT. EVEN. ONCE.

 

 

Wow, cocaine is really popular with... the same guy.

 

 

Issat... Issat pants? Issat mother f ing starch pants walking around like J Edgar Hoover on a Tuesday afternoon?

 

 

They should have called it The Legend of Hercules Ocarina of Time if you CATCH MY-cold. Achoo!

 

 

Uh... Wha's goin on? I didn't know it was alright to eat those guys. I should... better should check the Broble. Make sure das okay.

 

 

My home? Well this explains quite a bi-

 

 

Man, 1910 times were scary!

 

 

It's a good thing they didn't misspell Leonardo DiCaprio's FACE or else we would have really had a problem!

 

 

Fool me once? I'm mad. Fool me twice? How could you. Fool me three times? You're officially that guy okay? You know the one! You walk into the bar and he's all like 'this suit is officially Giorgio Armoni! Actually, my dad knows him.' F K YOU! I AIN'T EVEN HAVIN THAT S T

Yes. Your suspicions are 100% correct. A random two part internet video from Normal Boots dot com intended for entertainment has completely destroyed the entire Mario franchise. No one will ever play a Mario game again and Nintendo has gone into bankruptcy I blame Obama.

I never thought I'd have a waifu. Thought it was silly. Unnecessary.

 

But then I saw her.

 

Her body, so beautiful. Slick, like butter. So many fine curves.

 

She's into gardens. Spends most of her time outdoors. Yet she prefers the shade. So strange. So mysterious.

 

And her foot... Don't get me started on that beautiful foot. Soft. Squishy. I need to touch it.

 

She's bald, but that just adds to her beauty. Her beautiful eyes protruding from her barren head. Staring into me.

 

The spiraling shape of her beautiful cover taunting me with its alluring splendor.

 

 

 

@, @@Samurai Equine, @,

 

 

Roto, Havoc and Mason stayed in the rear of the crowd, none of them were emotionally invested in their task, but they did their job successfully none the less. Everyone willing and able was redirected out of the stadium, the panicking crowd began to calm with the aid of the organized effort and the bizarre realization that the killing had abruptly stopped.

 

The three followed behind them in the tunnel with Snowstorm still left behind.

@, 

 

Mason directed Roto and Havoc toward the crowd with a nonverbal gesture. The two immediately moved to direct the crowd to the tunnels. 

 

"My command has never failed a mission, and from what I understand, you clearly can't say the same. I suggest you start listening to me before you have to learn this lesson the hard way."

Alrahm yelled:

" everyone!!!! We need to flee to the trains! We need to warn ponyville of this and get everyone to safety! Please, hurry!!!"

 

 

The storm was picking up speed. Rain started pouring over canterlot, screams could be heard in the distance. Smoke could also be seen. Apparently fires had been started in canterlot, and the rain wasn't strong enough to put it out yet.

 

Mason didn't change his orders to his yokai. They stayed at their positions and moved with the group. "We will help you fight, but we are not going to waste our efforts saving a small crowd of civilians in numbers that mean nothing!" Mason said without a hint of remorse. "You say you need our cooperation? More than that. You'll die without us! I have an army at my command and it can set the stage for your little plan, but of what do you expect me to do this? Out of the blackness of my own heart?"

 

(Bonus points to anyone who can tell me what the "Blackness of my own heart" line is a quote from.)

>Implying Goku was an original character to begin with.

I love reading through these quote threads! I'll add a few of my own favorites.

 

"I love you Kurama, and when I love something, I love to take it away." ~ Karasu

 

"What's the matter? Did... Did your balls drop off?" ~ The Joker

 

"And if you fail, Mr Sunshine will burn you alive. Sound fair?" ~ The General

 

Mason knew this wasn't the time to waste precious seconds. Despite his horrible evil, he showed great aptitude when commanding his Yokai.

 

"They insist on bring the injured with us and there's no time to argue." He said, "Havoc, Roto, stay with the slow and injured. Make sure they keep pace with the rest of us. Havoc, if Roto's injured leg slows us down, kill him."

 

Havoc and Roto nodded and jumped into action, they kept next to Lorec (and I'm assuming there are other injured as well.)

 

Mason continued. "Snowstorm, disguise your wavelength and take to the clouds. If these two creatures leave, I want to know where they're going!"

 

Snowstorm obeyed. He concentrated on his aura and it changed hues from red to green. So long as he wasn't seen. No one would be able to sense him. Snowstorm darted up into one of the storm clouds and hid there.

 

Mason turned to Kierro and gave him the last order. "Ki, find Femi and Oni and gather our underlings. All of them. Once you've done this, follow Femi in everything she says!"

 

Kierro nodded and sprinted in the opposite direction of the others. He would find his own way out.

@literally snails

______

Lorec snorted.

"Fool.... You'll die!!!!!!"

He then turned to havoc.

 

"I have to get to them and drag them away... If you want to come, then do so... But if you don't..... Please keep the others safe."

_______

@samurai equine @literally snails @magos ampharose

 

 

When Avaerus was done mind bending kazas, he let his unconscious body hit the ground. Avaerus raised his own claw, and beams of light shot out of it. They struck ponies in the stands. After a few seconds,the struck ponies started attacking others, who had no idea what was happening.

 

Alrahm spoke.

 

"Everyone... He's starting to render their minds to his own cause.... We must flee. Kazas and vorrin have fallen..."

 

Mason whistled sharply. He had little concern of being heard by the two marauders, but the whistling was heard by exactly who he wanted to hear it. Roto limped to his side with his wounded leg elevated. Kierro zipped behind him from inside of the crumbling building where he had been waiting. Snowstorm dropped what he was doing and flew to Mason's opposite side, and Havoc ran up behind all of them with his axe ready.

 

With his four underlings gathered and Samurai offering a voluntary distraction, Mason made eye contact with Alrahm. "There aren't very many ways this day could get better for me," he said. "But the fun is over. You and your friends want out? The Yokai seven will protect your escape."

@,

 

Havoc appeared behind Lorec. He had actually walked behind him, but Lorec was so distracted that it was as if he came out of nowhere. "Fight with me."

 

Samurai, having been thrown into a pit the hard way, slowly picks himself up. "Ugh... What power..." Battered but not out of it just yet, Samurai pulls himself out of the pit. By the time he does, he wishes he hadn't. Celestia's head falls before him. "P-Princess...?" His face is that of ultimate horror. His world has just been rocked. He falls to his knees, reaching out for her head, but unable to take hold. He is in complete shell shock right now. He might not be useful to anyone any more...

"Pick yourself up!" Snowstorm commanded. This was where one of the main advantages of being a demon came in. He wasn't phased by what was happening. He grabbed Samurai by the collar and pulled him to his hooves. "You still owe me an uwagi! Now pull your sorry ass together and at least pretend you're a fighter!"

 

@,

 

Mason grabbed Agririon by one of his back legs and pulled him out of the was of a projectile of debris. It wouldn't have been deadly if it hit, but Mason really just wanted to get his attention.

 

"These two are A-class power levels, we'd be wasting our time fighting them, and you're certainly wasting your time staring at them!" He barked. "Gather your specters and stay close to me. This is where self preservation takes over!"

@@Literally Snails, "Well i still don't get what would be bad with Crimson winning, but i guess it is a personal vendetta between the two? I currently care about what i do. So..."It was not too long before a unicorn came to answer. She looked like a faded version of a former glorious mare. In a sense Selune felt the same way... maybe that is why she truly lost that match."Who's the idiot?" she said keeping her voice low.

Tricis chuckled once, a short but ernest laugh. "If you're the pony I think you are then you've met him already. An obnoxious griffon by the name of Sole. He's asleep on my couch and I'd prefer that he not be woken up. He's had a long day. But please, tell me why you're here."

 

 

Godric woke up a bit late and to stadium as Juri was making her announcement that the semifinals were about to begin at which point he decided to clean his sword clean of Mirrorquake's blood with a bored sigh. "Good. Soon this ridiculous tournament will be over and I can stop looking at these worthless ponies", he muttered to himself.

 

"Got a real stick up your backside, don't ya?" A playful voice asked. Frey was hovering above Prince Godric from behind, finally able to use his wings again. "Wind around ya's tighter than a nun's belt!"

@,

"I have never been scared," Mason thought back. "I am not the Mason who was afraid of death. I am not the pony who failed to defend the innocent, and I'm also not the one who cares. That Mason has been dead for over fifty years!"



"Are you still so sure that no one will die today?" Kierro asked calmly as Lorec ran away. He didn't run for safety. He just stood still and waited as the walls around him began to crack.



"Kierro is here too. He did this at Mason's command." Roto explained quicky. He stood up on his three good hooves. "They did this as a warning, but that's not important now. Something worse is happening now."



@@Samurai Equine,

Snowstorm stabbed his sword into the ground again and the Cage of Hell disappeared from around him and his opponent. He pulled the sword back out and turned his back to Equine. "It appears our fight is over," he said. "Something's coming. A friend of yours?"

As the fans piled into their seats, some of them rudely pushing and shoving their way in, Topaz announced the beginning of the third day.

"Alright, fans, You've made it this far, past twelve matches and eight deaths, but the brutality is just getting started! Only four fighters remain, and only two of them will advance to the final round! So I want you to all put your best hooves together because the semifinals are starting RIGHT NOW!"

 

 

 

Selune didn't know what to say. All she could do is wait. Wait and learn. What would happen next?

"I still don't understand much of what you want. I mean... i don't know... what would Mason do to me? Why did the crowd want Crimson dead? This all makes little sense to me. What's up with Crimson?"

 

"Mason has promised to kill everyone who loses against Crimson in the tournament," Femi stated. Some movement could be heard from inside the house. "He did it because he thought that Crimson wouldn't be able to win any other matches if he knew they would result in death. Grant instructed him to make sure that certain fighters won their fights, but it hasn't been going as planned. That's why you were given the silver."

 

The doors to the hut opened. In it's wake, a wrinkled old mare stood with a disgruntled look on her face. She was a unicorn with fading pink hair that was almost grey, and she was slightly shorter than Femi.

 

"Keep your voices down," she said with a hoarse voice. "The idiot is sleeping."

@,

@literally snails

 

Syuren felt shivers down his spine. He was thinking to himself.

 

'Man, I am going to die here... I am seriously about to die, because this guy is rubbing all up on me. Man... Lorec Is so gonna piss on my grave for this..... I gotta talk my way out of this.'

 

He spoke.

 

" and... Whaddya mean by takin' what you love away? Because I promise that if you think I'm pretty, I won't be if I'm pieces splattered against a wall."

 

(You should probably have someone save him now.)

 

"But that's exactly what I want," Ki whispered. He stepped on the end of Syuren's tail with one of his back hooves. "The intimacy between murderer and victim is unparalleled!"

 

 

 

 

(Ah. Well, props indeed then. And I'm sorry, but I never finished that story arch of YYH. So the ending to this match will have to be unique)

 

Samurai's eyes go wide and he quickly tilts his head to the side, trying to make his helmet absorb most of the shriek while still keeping an eye on his opponent. But it's not easy. Even at only 25%, cracks are starting to form in his helmet. "Kisama! No choice..." Samurai closes his eyes. "A fire inherited from heir to heir. Cast out the shadows and dispell all fears." Samurai thinks to himself. All the while, his horn has begun glowing. No, wait... It's on fire, now! An intense red fire!

 

Samurai gets a running start, then leaps into the air, does some acrobatic moves to increase his velocity, and gets as close to Snowstorm as he can. "The next spell! Flaming Horn Attack!!" Samurai swings his horn and the fire lashes out like a short-range flamethrower, but he isn't aiming for Snowstorm. He's aiming for his weapon!

 

Snowstorm was given some time to think while Samurai chanted. If he has to chant before he preforms it, this won't be a typical spell. When Samurai lunged at him it was obvious that his target was the sword. Snowstorm had the sword extended. An easy target. He had two options to avoid the attack, but one of them would require revealing his nature. He chose the second.

 

Snowstorm quickly pulled the blade back and spun so that his back was between the flames and the sword. He quickly sidestepped out of the way, but he had to make a sacrifice. The flames struck his back before he rolled out of the way. His blue uwagi caught fire and he had to quickly rip it off and discard it.

 

"DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE AN AUTHENTIC UWAGI IS IN THIS COUNTRY?" For the first time in the fight, he lost his cool composure. His left eye became yellow with a slitted red. He closed both of his eye and when he reopened them, they were both back to 'normal.'

 

He seriously considered using one of his more deadly techniques, but all of the carried the risk of collateral damage. Instead, he tried a more dazzling approach. He struck the Banshee Shriek's blade on the ground. "Cage of Hell!" A circular cage rose up around the two fighters. It's walls were nearly ten feet tall, too tall to jump over, restricting them into the cage that was less than half the size of the ring. The walls were see through and light blue, almost looking like water. In several places there appeared to be a screaming face and there was constant wailing sound emanating from the walls. "Maybe I did forget to mention that I can also turn the cries of the damned into the shape of a wall. I wouldn't recommend touching the walls, to do so would bring instantaneous death and add your soul to the wall. It's going to be a hell of a cage fight!" 

@@Literally Snails,Selune kept silent. Not like she could do much else. She felt her heart beating loudly but even it was doused by the sense of emergency that their venture had. She was feeling uneasy too... she feared this might have awoken Shar with this. She tried to do what she always did... stay in control. She repeated that phrase like a mantra inside her head. It was all she could do from disturbing the resident of this wooden cabin.

They stepped up to the porch and Femi knocked and waited. "She's rather old." Femi explained. "It may take her a while to get to the door, but I expect she will be awake at this hour."

 

 

@@Literally Snails,

 

 Trench didn't really know how to respond. He also could't think of what to do. This was the first time he's dealt with a crying mare. He listened to everything she had to say without interrupting. So he couldn't really understand how she was feeling. He loved his parents and they  made sure to show him love when they were raising him. 

 

As he looked down at the crying mare that he had interest in, with sadness himself. He didn't like seeing her like this. With a little hesitation he pulled her into a warm hug, letting her rest her face in his shoulder as he placed a comforting hoof behind her head which started to stroke her mane caringly.

In their walk, they had come near the hotel.

 

"Thank you," she said affectionately. "You're a real champ. It's good to have someone who actually listens while I talk." She gave Trench a peck on the cheek. "You need your rest. Don't go losing this tournament over me! Though, after this is over, I don't see a reason we can't stay up late. So don't go off and die tomorrow." She winked and held out one of her hooves like an imaginary gun. "Cause, if you die, I swear I'll kill you! Bang!"

 

 

@@Scrambled_Egghead, @@dusk shade, @@Gloomfury,  @, @, 

 

(Alright. Time to fast forward to day three.)

 

The sun rose over the thick line of trees signaling the dawn of the third day. Two new corpses had been found in the stadium that weren't there the day before. The body of Ruka perfectly disguised as Selune was laying in the medical ward hallway, and Havoc was mangled and bloodied stretched across the stadium ring in several pieces. Of course, both of these messes were cleaned up before any fighters or guests could see them.

@literally snails

 

Syuren didn't dare move.

 

" I really, really don't wanna know or feel. In fact, I kinda... Don't wanna have this talk, buddy. I mean, I appreciate the compliments and all, but you're all up in my personal space and why are your hooves so soft..."

 

Syuren realized what he said, and blushed.

 

" gah! I mean... Err... Seriously. Can I just go? Please? This is seriously awkward as hell."

 

Kierro lifted up a locket of his hair and let it slide back into place. Ignoring what Syuren had said, he spoke. "Your hair is damaged, Syuren. How tragic that things that are so beautiful are also fragile, like a butterfly." He stopped touching Syuren's hair and moved to his shoulders, whispering into his ear, "I love you, Syuren, and when I love something, I love to take it away."

NUUUUUUUUUUU

Two pinkies at once? Both versions all to myself?

imokaywiththis.jpg