P-Jay
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so, my last fimfiction was a huge fail. 7 dislikes, 1 like. (mine) so im gonna try writing another. based off Caliber's adventure log. go me
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I had a skim of it and tbh it did look a little like you were rushing to get the plot going. Slow down and give us some more of what Caliber's thinking and feeling at that moment, squeeze in some more details here and there.
I'm not saying it has to be like War and Peace-length or anything, just take your time and enjoy writing it!
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life. that is precisely what happened here.
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it just got serious. it got real.
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*still gets back up, and walks over.* sure, coffee sounds great! there will ALWAYS be RPing.
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....um....huh.trying to find a loop hole, here...nope. cant find one. except for using CC as a meat shield.
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*opens vest to reveal 50 paper bombs.* yeah, we can use naruto, too! BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!
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sigh...*slams hands on the ground, makes a stone prison* please wait as i put on new gloves. *reaches into pocket to get new gloves.*
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caliber looked at silver sword, then Ice blizzard. "huh, well, if its free..." he said, as he grabbed one. "its been a while since i drank a soda." he said, as he gulped it down. "ahhh...tastes good." he crushed the can and looked at ice blizzard. "how many of those ya got?" he noticed silver swords armor start to glow. "uh, whats that mean?" he asked, as he drew his sword.
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remember how mustang beat envy? remember?!
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"i did, once. okay, it was forty-five times in a row." caliber said, beginning to polish his sword, "her name was violet. kicked me into next week." he stared into the distance. "hey, anyone else feel a sense of impeding doom? i do." he went to go get some more food, "i think i know where she is..." (i never got the yes/no on the including another oc.)
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*starts to wake up* whoa...what happened? *sees the guy who knocked me out* you...*puts on fire alchemy gloves.* you going down
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because im a*walks by with a bush, sets it down, and flying side kicks him into the bush* you: what was that for?! me: because im a monkey!
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when she knocked him over, he immediate rolled backward, and his hoof flew to his empty sword sheath, reflexively. upon noticing his sword wasn't in its sheath, caliber got back up. he looked at scare. "wow, i might not just stand there, next time. anyway, good job!" he sat down. and started polishing his sword. "but," he said, "i gotta teach ya some other techniques. something like how to break out of holds, or something. i know a mare who can really just flip people."
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moments later, caliber appeared next to silver sword. he drew his sword, too. he scanned the area for any threats. "hey, i didn't miss anything, did i?" caliber asked, "oh, and by the way." his eyes sparked maliciously. "lets have ourselves a little competition. see who kills more threats."
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caliber looked at silver. and smiled. "thats a guy i could follow!" he said, as he, too, took out his sword, and pointed it to the sky. "to tartarus! onward!" caliber shouted, as he walked beside silver sword. caliber was still thinking. 'sigh, i wonder if this shall be my end?' he thought. 'no. they are counting on me. i must not fail'
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"its okay, try again." caliber said, as he walked a little away. "now, its best to try to aim low. that way, your opponent gets knocked off balance. then, just push." caliber watched as she got up. 'heh, this takes me back.' caliber thought, 'its like master shen, all over again.'
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"alright" caliber said, as he sat down, and pulled out his adventure log. "hmmm...i could teach you. but we'll have to start at basic hand-to-hand combat, ok?" he scribbled something down, and stood up. "ok...come at me." he said, as he got into a fighting stance. "try to knock me to the ground."
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his name...is resh. resh anims.
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its both of em, at the same time.
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asdfghghjkk obviously.
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listen to dis. for real, it helps. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4XLQ3H-B6k
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*flying side jump kicks him back into the bush*
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no. you wont. i killed him. hahaha!
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does no one realize that this is the same picture as the topic he posted earlier? the first base pony? anyways, nice job. better than me...
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caliber gave his sword back, before saying, "lets not forget, this is tartarus we're talking about. splitting up may be a deathwish. i say we stick together" caliber was munching on the cake. "i know we could cover more ground that way, and it might be faster, but for the highest chance at survival, i say we stick together."
