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TBD

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Posts posted by TBD

    Surpassed the $250 Goal!

    in Site Events

    For these past years, I worked in Santa’s workshop helping out with MCM secret Santa and ‘gifts’ ..so of course for a this year for a change, I will be happy to be part of it as a participant! :yay:

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    A new kirin is joining the staff!

    in Throne Room

    Congratulations @Treeglow Flicker !!! I’m sure this event coordinators role is the best fit for you! I have seen and known you for some quite some time around here and you have shown nothing but kindness and of course a lot of sense humor here in mlpf! You’re truly a Kirin at heart! You will do a wonderful job as an event coordinator!  I’m sure the other event coordinators are going to have a blast and are very blessed to have someone like yourself working with them! Your artistic skills will do such wonders for the badges! As from expedience, that’s the most fun and rewarding part as an event coordinator!! 

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    Why are people proud of seemingly everything?

    in General Discussion

    I don’t usually go about bragging what I did or accomplished.. unless a person who comes out all uppity at me then i would remind them that they can’t treat me like shit after what I have done for them. I know that sounds like a bit of a gaslighting- but I don’t appreciate my work going unnoticed and being treated like shit at the same time. 
     

    I don’t care for a compliment or praises- to me, words is cheap. I appreciate a person more if they would go the extra miles for me just like how I’d for them. 

    Childhood plans that will never come true

    in General Discussion

    I had plans on what I wanted to do but unfortunately having to go by what my parents wants was the biggest mistake and I regretted it. What my parents wants is not in my field of expertise nor my interests. I went ahead with it without knowing how fucked up my life has become. Partly it was my fault for fucking up my college but at the same, that’s what happens when you don’t have passion for something that isn’t for you to begin with, since you will end up not wanting to work hard towards it. Since then, I hated health care field with burning passion. I should have went towards criminology or business or maybe writing. 
     

    Right now, I’m going forward in becoming real estate. This time, I’m not gonna let anyone tell me otherwise. 

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    Would you leave behind your current life for a new one

    in General Discussion

    I believe in past life and karma resurrection.. I also  believe that it’s possible that my dreams do share fragments of my old life memories. As much as I want to start a fresh new life, my new life may be just a repeat of my old past life and so forth. Until I complete my “mission life goal” whatever that is. I believe we each have a unique individual contract after being created and we must fulfill that contract. When we die and do not fulfill that- as “punishment” we have to relive again until we get it right. Earth is Hell for us to relive over and over… but it can also be a good thing depending if we learn how to live our life to the fullest here. For me personally I feel I have lived for quite a while now, I still feel I’m stuck in wondering what I should do or can do. Honestly despite of the goods I have - I overall think my life is a curse. 

    Last Movie You Watched?

    in Media Discussion

    Barbie: lots of cringy moments that just rubs me in a wrong way. To back up my reason,  I had gone through  gender identity crisis in my early years due to “stereotypes” and this movie just personally triggered me. Aside from that I do enjoy the fun aspect of “Barbie” by itself without all that genders identity bullshit. 6/10

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    What are you thinking?

    in General Discussion

    “The doctor’s girlfriend is pretty cute…”

    my sister invited me to a her work dinner party- and I’m sitting next to her- damn she’s so pretty. That  doctor guy, who is my sister’s boss… what a lucky guy.

     

    …but the party overall is awkward nevertheless. :// too much medical “successful” career talk.. makes me feel like a outcast.

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    What made you happy today?

    in General Discussion

    Today’s work was so crappy and I cannot stand our lead new manager. Just overall feeling really crappy. But today.. I couldn’t believe what  just happened… my crush that had for long while, that never acknowledged me because it was really hard for me to get to talk her- FINALLY noticed me. I know that sounds like a anime cliche- but while I was walking to clock out, I hear someone behind say “I like your Groot backpack.” I was too tried and little grumpy to try to start a conversation with anyone.
     

    But as I turned around to say “thank you”- it felt like my heart just  jumped right out of my chest! It was my crush. She was starting her night shift, so we just talked a little  before we departed. But at least now since we introduced to each other and talked, because now it’s easier for me to approach to talk to her more and get to know her now! I couldn’t stop myself from smiling as I walked out. It felt like it was the best day ever for me! 

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    Forum users you wish would come back?

    in General Discussion

    I wish @Le Trotteur Sauvage to come back. He canceled his discord and it was my only way to keep in touch with him. He left so sudden. He was my first ever friend on this forum. Even though I never say it but it’s not like we both needed to- since we both know how a close our friendship is. I missed his jokes, tease and our silly “bromance” moments on the game forum:ButtercupLaugh:- and I do wish we had more time to chat. I only wish him the best but yes I do miss him a lot. I guess my only regret is not able to give more time to have a good conversation with him as I should have and letting him know how much our friendship means to me- I have made few other friends here, but he hit me differently. But I do enjoy the time we have together even when it’s mostly on game forum. 

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    How are you feeling?

    in General Discussion

    I’m feeling quite emotional yet satisfied with my writing. I wrote a short sad romantic noir story about a one-sided love relationship between two men. Kinda inspired by the original “The little mermaid” but without the mermaid part. :ButtercupLaugh:

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    Are you passionate about writing?

    in General Discussion

    My love for writing actually grew and developed positively. As days have gone by, it has become harder for me to express and understanding myself. So for me to find some sort of comfort or healings, I turned over to writing. I feel my feelings and emotions are often shut off so I converted it into storytelling. I enjoyed writing short fiction story, movie scripts and song lyrics. My favorite part of writing is crafting my storytelling and turning it into a beautifully well-written story. I want my reader know there’s an art and craftsmanship in my writing. Where people could actually feel it when reading my work. I believe if people were to feel what my story is conveying- that means the emotions (my emotions) I put in my writing will be acknowledged. And that to me is like a good medicine for self-healing.

    What did you dream about last night?

    in General Discussion

    Spoiler

    My dream was cut into bits by bits but it’s actually made all sense once I done some digging what these dreams meant for me. 
     

    My first dream was me at the train station. It was around in the 40s and it was dark. It was definitely busy nevertheless, as if everyone was rushing to get to the train. It was a bit  chaotic. I was either a soldier there being stationed there to enforce transportation or a train conductor- I don’t remember but I was wearing a uniform. There’s a lady, very old lady who’s a nun come up to me saying something like don’t put me in the train because of the a “dead woman”  there. I was confused at first what she meant by that. She then reach out to me and grab my hand. On that split moment, it felt like I was flashed in her point of view. Except I wasn’t here. It felt like I was standing there on a train with her. Another split moment I wasn’t sure what happened but I saw a dead woman in there. That dead woman was the same old Nun that was at the train station. I was taken back where I started and staring at the old nun. She didn’t want to get on the train because of the “dead woman”.  I remember feeling conflicted what to do. The dream shifted to something else afterward. 
     

    The symbol of the dream when it comes to being at the train station.

    ”Perhaps your dream has you standing at the station while multiple trains come and go, while you never catch any of them?

    You might need to make an essential decision in your waking life, but you can’t bring yourself to take the plunge.

    Instead of striking out on a new path, you are dithering at the station and avoiding making the necessary choices.”

    ———————

    “Dream about both “Dead” and “Nun” means self-reliance, stability, tactfulness and careful forethought. You are trying to rationalize your emotions. You are unable to speak about some unimportant situation. This dream is a clue for turning issues or conditions around you. You are lacking initiative. Dream about dead nun symbolises dietary balance. You are a non-conformist. You are sucking in the life energy of others for your own selfish benefit. This dream is a clue for the need to hold some situation or relationship together. You will find closure to those unresolved issues.”

     

    My dream shifted and I was again back in that old vintage store that I have dreamt about while back. There’s a small pond and we were told if you jump in you will find yourself in your future. I hesitate at first because the pond was musky and dark. Eventually I decided to make a jump. I stated to sink and everything was calm and quiet. Just as I hit the bottom- my vision came to me and I was at my old home. I was kneeling and had a knife with me. Without thinking I stabbed myself, killing myself in progress. I came back to the surface after witnessed my future self. My dream ended after that. 
     

    Again, I went ahead and did some digging what this dream is trying to tell me. 

    “Suicide dreams have notoriously been connected with a poor self-image. It indicates that one needs to change but the metaphor of such a dream is associated with the end of something. It is not uncommon for these types of dreams to appear when one has been addicted to either drugs or cigarettes. Yes, this is easy to do when we are struggling with things in life. Maybe you are just feeling that things are too much stress. Maybe you feel that no matter how much you try you never get anywhere. The dream of suicide is about "acceptance" that we need to learn from what we are thrown at in life.

    Sometimes, in life we suffer from immense depression, this is only natural. We all have challenges and difficulties in life and sometimes we do feel that we need a way out. Being mentally unstable in the dream suggests that “life in general” has taken its toll. It could be that you are having suicidal thoughts in waking life and this is why the dream has appeared. It indicates that you are focused on radically changing, in essence, ending whatever it is that is causing you concern. When we look at suicide we are also associating the dream with how you used to be in the past and how you are now in the future.

    Suicide in dreams symbolizes your need for power. Another aspect of such a dream refers to giving a solution to a problem by killing a part of it. Suicide is associated with self-destructive tendencies which you probably must give up. You should ask yourself what side of your personality should you follow and what is it that you want to be more involved in. Dreaming of suicide could foretell that a project or a business might come to an end.

    Spiritually speaking, a dream of suicide suggests that something old in your life needs to be unleashed. It can mean that you could give up a negative passion of yours. This dream could also be a warning of a change coming your way. Committing suicide in a dream indicates that a failure could happen. If others commit suicide, this foretells that people you don’t know will have a strong influence on you. A lover committing suicide in your dream means that you will be disappointed in him or her and worry about his or her infidelity.“


    ————————————

    Dirty Pond 

    “This dream represents your life’s equilibrium or lack thereof. Something that has been brewing for some time is about to be revealed because you’ve hit a snag on your way to achieving your objectives. 

    Besides, your dream is a sign that you are disregarding a situation in your life or might be overextending yourself. Unfortunately, a dirty pond dream is a warning sign of masculine or animalistic hostility. 

    Alternatively, this could indicate a lack of self-esteem or confidence. In your dream, what you’re saying is unclear.”

     

    I feel as though overall to have a lot of conflicting feelings and overbearing emotions and at the end I need to figure or rediscover myself again as I have let my conflicting situations blinded me.

     

    Do you listen to the radio?

    in Media Discussion

    I actually do. I have this old small radio which is quite statically and not the best sound quality but it’s my favorite kind of sound from a radio. Especially listening to old classical music from it. It brings this authentic sound. I listen to jazz station too but sadly my radio couldn’t pick up the signal. But listen to Xmas station there where there’s jazz, brings such a nostalgic vibe and I would get zone out just staring at my radio and being absorb by it. 

    At what point do you think to yourself "I've achieved all my goals in life"?:)

    in General Discussion

    No that would be impossible. I usually set one goal at a time for myself to avoid disappointment on high expectations. I have achieved good things as I hoped and worked hard for. There are time when I struggled with lack of motivation and wanted to just give up. However having a mindset of wanting to prove these people wrong is what drives me. My ambition and pride is the key to keep going. I may not know what the future may hold for me- but slow and steady wins the race. 

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    Last Movie You Watched?

    in Media Discussion

    The new Mummy movie… a huge downgrade from the old ones. Although I shouldn’t be that surprised. 1/10. I will say through, I would rather choose “goth” mummy chick, become a pact with her and  conquer the world together anytime. :proud: .  What? I have a type okay? 

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