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Dimitri Hammer

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  1. Dimitri Hammer

    Happy December!

    By Dimitri Hammer,

    Enjoy a holiday related song or whatever.
     

     
     
     
    Not that anyone cares. Kindness is a fickle subject for human beings. Is why I hate people. Why do I need more than one person caring about me anyway? I have family, and I have a partner. No such thing as good friends really. Fuck other people. So, enjoy this beautiful, materialistic holiday with family! I sure I will not have a good time.
     
    Much love, Dimitri.
  3. Dimitri Hammer
    Before December of 2012, the time I stopped smoking, I used to have my brother go online and order cigarettes from over sea. Yeah, used to order the cigarettes I smoked when I was in Russia. Беломорканал. Possibly the strongest cigarette in the world. No filter. Western people would probably find it strange. Looks a lot different from the cigarettes I find here in America. I am rather glad I stopped smoking though. Was going to kill me eventually. If I am lucky, smoking might have taken several years off my life. Live for a shorter time, thank God.
     
    Nonetheless, I smoked that a lot. Had a pipe too, but I did not use that as often as just cigarettes. Nasty habit really. Not for myself, personally I not care if smoking kills me, I care about the people I smoke around. I would not want to smoke around others. I rarely smoked in public. I was always alone when I smoked. Hate when people smoke in public around children, or just non-smokers. Smoking for me was just a small habit. I did not do it often, but I had a fix for the old Russian brand. Stopped that last December though. All good now!
     
    Only vice I have is my alcoholism now. Well, better than doing both, right?
  4. Dimitri Hammer

    Vices

    By Dimitri Hammer,

    Is hard to give up old habits you have been doing for years. First time I had a smoke was when I was eighteen. First time I drank I was sixteen. Smoking was not as prevalent as the drinking at all though. I rarely smoked. Buy a pack of Беломорканал cigarettes, and the pack would last me weeks. Is a Soviet, and post Soviet brand of cigarette. Had no filter. Strong cigarette. My father used to smoke them. My choice of drink was Vodka. Stereotypical, yes, but I also had American whiskey too.
     
    I liked Русский стандарт (Russian Standard), Столичная (Stolichnaya), and Рускова (Ruskova) was okay too. American Whiskey was my second choice though. My drinking was light at first, but after my wife passed it got increasingly bad. 80 proof was not doing it for me. I went out and got the American Everclear, 190 proof. Got really bad. After doing my work business for the day I would get drunk constantly. Strangely I rarely got hungover. My father said it was because of my genes. I honestly have no clue if alcohol tolerance can be passed through genetics. I doubt that...
     
    But back to the story. I drank and drank. Since I was sixteen. A whole decade. Tried quitting this year. I quit smoking last December. That was so much easier. I already rarely smoked. Quitting alcohol though is difficult. No AA programs for me. I not want to do anything like that. I just not like the idea. I have managed to nearly stop drinking. I still have something when I am out on social occasions. I have wine every now and then, but is only because Red wine is good for you in a small amount.
     
    I have not gotten completely drunk since last year. Is proving difficult of course though. I sometimes get the urge to go get a bottle of something stronger than wine. Vices have affected me for years. Is not easy, but I am dedicated to stopping. Working out makes the urges cease. So, my usual routine really helps me out. My friends have been supportive. My brother...is a good person, but his drinking problem is still ever present. He thinks life is a party still, and he is older than me!
     
    Nonetheless, my drinking has been severely reduced. Still present, but reduced. Is just hard to stop, but with enough dedication I have managed to somewhat do it. Hopefully in the future I can completely stop with hard liquor. At least I not getting drunk or smoking anymore.
  5. Dimitri Hammer
    Normally I really, really hate asking for things. I don't like it because I feel like I'm being extremely obtrusive
    Feel like I'm not worth any one's time...so..to shorten my ranting...I dislike asking for things.
     
    Now, if any artist's...or anyone really...are reading this...could you maybe make something for me? Hate saying it because I feel like I'm making someone do work for nothing in return except my eternal gratitude, and I feel like that's not enough...
     
    But if you're willing to help me. I wouldn't mind getting a new avatar. Something with Dimitri and Flutters on a romantic picnic on a hill in the moonlight....if that's not too much to ask..
     
    Is that too much to ask? I'm sorry...
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