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Lektra Bolt


Lektra Bolt
  • No Not Cast Young Adult

    Lektra has a light orange coat with a yellow mane and tail. It looks like the primary color of the mane and tail are the same color as her coat but looking closely it's possible to tell that the coat is just a brighter orange. Most ponies can't tell the difference, though. There is a streak of gray in her tail and mane. It looks like she got stuck permanently looking like when something gets hit by lighting. So it's all yellow zigzag and gray mixed in. Looks like residual lighting. With her magic affinity being to lightning and electricity, her mane and tail are permanently standing up in zigzagging lightning spikes and grow like that. The front of her mane hangs down in wispy zigzag shaped lightning bangs to just above the eyes and waves when she walks or runs. Speaking of eyes, Lektra's eyes are a light brown color.

    (Leg lightning bolt burn marks are not there in EqE)

    Female Unicorn Lektra has a cube shaped brown metallic box with lightning bolts coming out of it like from the Sun as a Mark, with bigger bolts coming out of the top. The pointy ends are pointing at the cube like they're about to hit it. The cube is opened at the top like you'd open a packing box. On the sides of the cube are Caution symbols with a rainbow at the open end of the box. It signifies her thinking outside the box and her electric affinity. https://buffy.mlpforums.com/4f14b58315cc51d14c411385319e0a72.png

    Lektra can be absorbed in her inventing for hours or sometimes days on end. She takes the time to make sure everything in the blueprint would work when actually built, so if she's not building something you can often find her in her workshop just sitting at a desk and scribbling furiously to make sure the underlying math is correct. Her thought process is methodical and careful, but when short on time she is prone to coming up with multiple solutions at once and just going by trial and error on which works. Due to being an inventor and an introvert, she often enjoys the company of non-living machines more than living entities.

    She is friendly/nice to others, but can turn volatile when insulted. She's social when around others, but can also be more than a bit reclusive and prefers indoor activities. This also means she has trouble initially meeting others, due to being absorbed in her work. Lektra dislikes the outdoors, and will only venture outside when there's a reason to do so. Otherwise, she's quite the homebody and prefers her lab and her home over a bunch of trees and rocks.

    Lektra is what some might call a mare of simple tastes. She has no interest in jewels, fancy clothes, or other finery that she considers frivolous, nor does she care to match the manners of high society ponies who do tend to like these things She is an organized pony, but you wouldn't really know it. Her workshop below the hut is seemingly a mess of blueprints, unfinished inventions, finished but rejected inventions, failed inventions that blew up/melted, or just parts lying around. Regardless, she likes what's referred to as a 'clean mess' where she knows where everything is but it looks messy. A real mess where everything is thrown about wouldn't be something she enjoys, especially if it has a bad odor.

    She enjoys helping others, and is proportionately upset when finding out somepony else was upset by her actions. Key word: Finding out. This means that if you're hiding your feelings, don't expect any sympathy. She's not a great judge of character, but can be encouraging and positive. Lektra has very strong opinions and generally regards them as facts, so she tends to have a comment on anything she overhears and feels compelled to comment on.

    Lektra values the friends she has, although there aren't that many. she's prone to being called a crackpot for her ideas. The ones she does have she would basically do anything to keep, including forgiving them for seemingly ridiculous or severely hurtful actions. She is very forgiving and can justify lots of things happening, so it takes a lot to anger her. Typically if you do something she doesn't like she'll just tell you to not do it again, except if you won't stop. In which case she will do her best to ignore you or invent something to make you stop. An invention of this type would likely be dangerous, so it's best not to annoy her to this point.

    She doesn't like those in authority roles, and generally doesn't like being given orders or commands. She is prone to unrehearsed sarcasm. She is also prone to complaining or otherwise looking for somepony to vent/rant to on topics of interest or whatever is being discussed at the moment.

    Likes: (These are in no particular order)<br />Authority and deliberately silly behavior, except from those who have earned her respect or fondness<br />Being insulted<br />Going outside (Going outside to where the destination is an indoor place is fine)<br />Socializing with strangers in a public setting (She's shy)<br />Doing work or strenuous activity that isn't somehow connected to her job<br />Athletic endeavors<br />Grossness or really messy places<br />Those who insist they're smarter than her

    Lektra was born in Manehattan to parents who were prominent technology designers and inventors by extension. Her father was named (Booming) Thunder and her mother was named Lightning. Rather famous in the city, actually. Her parents helped to maintain the industrial and technologically advanced city island. When they had their first foal they decided to settle down and let new ponies take over the job, but still mostly kept their company, Bolt Solutions, in the family. The company was restructured with them as owners and consultants, but they were less involved in the day to day minutia. They have since had two more children: Fraternal twins Speed Bolt (F) and Flash Bolt (M).

    While out in a storm one day she was literally struck by lightning but miraculously survived. Perhaps it was because of living around machines for so long, or perhaps she was just lucky. Having had a history of lightning based inventors in the family, she had been thinking about following her parents hoofsteps for a while. Now having been struck by lightning, she finally realized that she was connected to them, and that she wanted to be an inventor as well. Her own magical specialty was realized, and her cutie mark showed itself.

    She was homeschooled through written correspondence, and turned out to be smart enough to acquire a degree in Experimental Engineering by the time she was no longer a filly. After finishing schooling Lektra left home to travel the world and look for a place to quietly invent and patent her ideas. She was seeking her own little fortress of solitude.

    Lektra was without a permanent residence for a long time, moving from city to town to city to city to town to another town every so often. She never stayed in the same place for very long, wanting to see as much of the world as possible after being homeschooled all her life and not stepping outside the city. She just felt like it was time to see what the world was like outside the city, but was also searching out masters in her field to learn from. There had to be others out there who could teach her things that couldn't be taught in school.

    She met many interesting ponies in her travels, but none as influential as this old codger she met while out shopping for useful parts to use for an order. The old stallion had been a resident of Ponyville who decided to move. She questioned him as to why, learning that Ponyville was apparently some kind of center of all weirdness. All the goings on there were taking a toll on his heart and he couldn't take it. His doctor told him he had to move away. Thanking him for his stories, Lektra continued in her travels for a little while longer. During this time she took out patents for the things she invented while traveling, and was able to live off the royalties when the mailponies could find her.

    She did eventually end up making the move to Ponyville, but had a rather strange aversion to doing actual work. See, although Lektra works hard designing and building her inventions, she doesn't do much else. Her inventions are usually designed to do things for ponies, and can promote laziness, although she doesn't condone this. She prefers to construct an automatic broom to do the cleaning rather than clean up after herself, make a heater by enchanting a block of metal to give off warmth, or do the same but make it cold. Her inventions do sometimes malfunction and explode or melt, often rather comically. The town has been resistant to her attempts to modernize it. The rather unstable nature of her inventions which seem dangerous and her being seeming lazy at first glance has made her sort of an outcast. Not shunned or anything, but she likes her privacy and lives on the town outskirts to avoid having too many random visitors. Lektra invents machines to do chores with the intention of freeing up a pony’s time to be more productive in other ways. She is in the process of starting Bolt Solutions Ponyville branch.

    She has Aspergers Syndrome, ADHD, and OCD (Like me).

    Lektra follows the adventures of the Elements of Harmony and the weird things that have happened in Ponyville avidly, especially Twilight Sparkle. She looks up to and admires this particular Princess, but hasn't actually met her.

    Abilities:
    Elemental Magic: Electricity. This is divided into the three allowed spells.

    Lightning Blast - Lektra is able to create and direct lightning from her horn at various intensities, rather violently if needed (But probably not). Due to not being able to store it herself, the lightning is only used on demand.

    Electric Charge - Lektra charges a metallic object with electricity. It gains the charge property. In addition to it's existing properties, it gains the ability to deliver painful shocks on contact. In addition, one of her favorite things to do when meeting other ponies is the self powered joy buzzer, where she charges her hoof and lightly shocks those she greets as a gag. It's a hit at parties, but those who actually know her personally know to not shake her hoof.

    Electric Animation - Lektra can make things move by manipulating the electricity inside them, once she's put at least a light electrical enchantment on them. By studying with other inventors in her travels she was able to craft a spell that allows a machine to move and act on it's own for a period of time based on a series of directives spoken during the casting of the spell. Range limited to line of sight. The bigger the object to be enchanted, the more energy she requires and the sooner she tires out. This spell only works on things she's constructed or at least partially worked on, and is required to create her Magitek inventions.

    Her special talent is working on and creating non-living things to turn them into enchanted items with magical properties. She calls these items Magitek.

    Equipment: She wears a tool belt on her neck at all times which contains various tools that can be pulled out as needed (Leaving this ambiguous for the most part so we don't have times where she needs to run home/back and waste time), and a pair of goggles with a magnifying glass for examining things on the molecular level that she can slide up or down from her headband.

    Companion: Lektra has a magically animated robotic pet companion named Sparky who Lektra likes to treat as male and sentient.

    Sparky is stronger than he looks (Think ants) and can do typical robot things like heavy lifting and extending his claws to pick things up while cleaning.

    Like all things she makes Sparky is mechanical with no computerized components. He functions on 70% mechanical, 15% magic, and 15% electrical.

    Sparky takes care of Lektra's basic day to day needs. He cooks, he cleans, he dusts, he reminds her to eat and drink, when to wake up, and when she's worked for too long. He keeps her schedule.

    Pic and Cutie Mark Credit: (The Great and Powerful) @@Trees

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It is clear that this character has a lot of though put in it, however the Equestrian Empire section is more limited than the Everfree one.

 

Taking care of a few minor issues before moving into more troublesome things:

 

The "first kid" saying isn't really valid here, since "kid" refers to humans and goats.

 

The annotation about school systems is a reflection of our world, not hers. Additionally, there may be an organized schooling system beyond primary school, and we just don't know of it yet.

 

The last paragraph of the personality section would be more fitting in the "other" section. Remember you're describing your OC, not yourself here.

 

You talk about her parents being prominent in the city, and then mention keeping Bolt Industries in the family. However, that is the first time you bring it up, so the sentence itself reads very strangely. Perhaps it could use some rewording.

 

 

Now...

 

Her lightning patterns on legs are absolutely something we haven't seen in the show at any time. The only moment we've seen such an effect was during the mane 6 rainbow power transformation, which is obviously beyond OCs' reach. OC should have an appearance that will fit with what we're seeing in the show from regular, supportive cast.

 

 

 

Those who purposefully act stupid (Excludes Pinkie or Derpy)

 

Two things here.

First of all, remember that OCs are to have no prior interactions with cast characters, while your applications heavily implies otherwise altogether. OCs generally either barely move in to Ponyville, either are just passing through, what goes well with this rule and allows them to roleplay the relationship out easily. As long as your OC could have heard about Pinkie easily, it's hard to state the same about Derpy.

Secondly, why would she have an exception for these two? Pinkie's core personality trait is purposefully act stupid (even if she's unaware of it), why would your OC act out-of-character by tolerating her but not the others?

 

 

You describe her as being shut in and not willing to leave her home/room most of the time, spending the vast majority of her life working on inventions. However, her wanderlust which you mention afterwards is in direct contention with her backstory. These two pieces obviously contradict each other. She's either shut-in, either outgoing.

 

 

Unfortunately, it's her core design here that is most problematic.

The technology you're presenting here is far too advanced for Equestrian standards. Starting with electricity, we've barely seen a handful of machines that could potentially use it, and most of them (if not all) were used for gag purposes (such as Twilight's supercomputer). Most of them were also quite primitive with their usage of any kinds of electricity (See: Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000). Electricity (if at all, as even SSCS was powered with magic) is no further than in its infant stages in EqE world. Such things, seen only once or twice in the show at max, shouldn't be copied into OC backstories however.

 

Her cybernetic, enchanted robot is far too powerful to be considered viable for Eq canon as well. The ability of becoming virtually any item she requires, including the wings which turn her into an Alicorn (which is a workaround of the section's rules), makes it an endlessly imbalanced item.

 

But how he came to be is also a problem.

The use of advanced and complicated magic is reserved for ponies who studied it and their cutie mark relates exclusively to that single element, directly. Meanwhile, your OC's cutie mark represents two talents at once, while basically all the ponies in the show have only one CM related talent, and everything else is just a matter of minor skills they acquired throughout life.

The tinkering/engineering skill was obviously acquired by her and it would be fitting for her cutie mark. But the magical powers came out of nowhere, simply being granted without any studies or skills related to this field.

It's either fish tank or fishes here, you'll have to choose with which you're going to roll.

 

However, I see that this OC is very much set-in-stone, and I won't be surprised if you'll refuse to implement the changes required. Especially since the changes would demand you to completely rethink and redesign the concept behind this OC.

Unfortunately, in the current state she's in, she can't be accepted into EqE section, even though I do like this OC myself, since a lot of effort has been put into it.

Yet, not every OC will fit into the strict, daily canon.

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Finally, a mod reply.

 

Let me just state for the record, that I do want to get her into the section, and I'll work with you if you work with me. But there's some things that can't be changed and art is one of them. I'd have to re-commission the entire art just for EQE. You realize the silliness here? I can't draw, and redoing the art would require going to my artist for a new one. This costs money. It wasn't free art.

 

Firstly let me just say, I'm terrible at rewrites. I gotta know exactly what's asked of me.

 

How about I change kid to child? Or how about foal? The word first is a leftover from when she had a player sibling on another forum, but she does have NPC siblings. Their names are Speed Bolt and Flash Bolt. They're both younger than her. Should I include them in here? Get back to me on which word you'd like me to use, please.

 

How would you like me to change her schooling to say she had a lot of it? She is studious and I wanted to make sure this was reflected. As you say, we don't know much about schooling.

 

How would you like me to reword the first paragraph? I bring up the company as early as possible.

 

The lightning patterns on the legs is a direct result of her being struck by lightning. It's burned hair/skin and those parts of the coat grow like that because it's a burn. It's the same as with the gray parts in the hair. I'm trying to make sure that it's visible she has damaged hair follicles, because you don't walk away from something like that completely unscathed. It's also extremely subtle, compared to say, having off-color spots or blotches all over the body which the rules say not to do. I didn't do that. It's subtle and fits her overall color scheme. This isn't meant to be any form of Rainbow transformation. In fact I created this character before Rainbow Power was even a thing.

 

Where I mention Pinkie/Derpy, I'm not suggesting she knows them. She knows OF them, and Derpy probably not at all. This is purely for future interactions in case it ever comes up. Anyway she's a tolerant character, and Pinkie is a well known pony who has helped save the world multiple times. It's impossible to dislike someone like that. She is friendly and likeable. Although Derpy hasn't been met yet either, if Lektra does meet her, having a disability herself she would tolerate her as well. It's simply meant to future proof for eventual encounters. How would I reword this?

 

The wanderlust only happened because she got tired of living in one city all the time and wanted to learn techniques and magic from other inventors in the world. It was a one time occurrence where she just got tired of staying in one place and isn't typical. She is very much a shut-in, most of the time. How would you like me to reword this so the 2 year trip makes sense to you?

 

Lektra's electricity is not usually used in her inventions. It's one of her magics as a residual effect of being struck by lightning. It's also a family trait, and all members of the Bolt family have some sort of affinity related to electric elemental, or thunder in the case of her father. Electric Elemental magic is in the rules as allowed. EQE allows 3 magics, and my character has 2. Well within the rules. What exactly is wrong with this?

 

I think you're not understanding how Sparky and stuff she makes works, as a whole. It's not cybernetic. She takes a piece of scrap metal, shapes it, and then enchants it. Magic makes the invention do what it does, whatever it's purpose. I'm not using magic as a power source here. The flight mode has VERY clear downsides. It's just flight, and it's only about 50% as fast as the average Pegasus. It also does not grant cloud walking or weather manipulation, nor does Sparky grant any sort of Earth Pony strength to her. Alicorns have all three races powers, she does not. It's simply weak flight to be able to get around on her own better than walking. Where you get the idea I was going for Alicorn I'm not sure.

 

It seems I confused you with her talent as well. Her talent in engineering doesn't work on it's own. It includes magic because the things she makes would otherwise be useless and nonfunctional. A piece of metal enchanted to make heat for it's owner wouldn't be doing anything of the sort if not for the magic making it a heater. A propeller like device similar to what Tank has wouldn't work without the magic counterpart. Her talent is Magitek, not simply magic or metal. The masters she trained under taught her how to enchant metallic objects. It's not out of nowhere. The Lightning magic was granted to her from being struck by lightning activating her family trait. The properties of the storm were a catalyst. Her talent is enchanting metallic objects she shapes based on engineering designs she creates, and one doesn't make sense without the other. It's one talent, because her stuff doesn't work otherwise.

 

I'm willing to work with you if you're willing to work with me. I'd really like to get her into EQE. Also thanks for saying you like her. I think we can figure this out. Eventually.

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I've never heard of lightning leaving markings like that before. If you're still interested in getting this character accepted I could take the lightning bolts off of her legs for free, it's a pretty simple removal. That would leave you to worry about the more important things like fixing her backstory and redesigning other conflicting parts of her character.

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Sure Hunter. Thanks. I'm waiting for the mods to get back to me about the backstory parts, but that's a good start and I appreciate it. PM it to me to upload here? I'll of course credit you.

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Hi, Lektra. Our apologies that is has taken so long for us to get around to looking at your character. Eloquence and I will be working with you from this point forward. Hopefully we can clear up a few issues which will allow you to edit her into a form acceptable for the EqE section. :)

 

Design

  • First of all, her design. As you have been informed, the only patterns permitted on an OC in EqE are naturally occurring ones, such as the kind you’d find on actual horses. Unfortunately, no matter how you explain why Lektra has lightning bolts on her legs, this physical trait is not acceptable here in EqE. I understand your concerns about her art: however, as Hunter mentioned, removing the bolts is a very easy process for anyone with access to an art program. I could also do this for you, it’d take me all of five minutes.
  • The wings are another matter which will be discussed in more depth further down. Where the art is concerned, I’m willing to hand-wave that as a kooky experiment which will probably explode when she turns it on. She can’t fly. Or hover. If you want a character who can do those things, you should have made her a pegasus.

Magic and Abilities

 

It is mentioned in the rules for EqE that all unicorns need to have the spells they are capable of performing listed. What you have listed under ‘spells’ are actually two overall abilities. This is too broad, and you need to narrow down and focus in on what Lektra can do. For instance:

  • Elemental Magic: Electricity (Zapping people, etc.)
  • Animation Spell: (The ability to make electrical things move by manipulating the electricity inside them. Should be limited in range, and larger constructs should tire her more quickly. This should not work on things she has not invented or tinkered with, in order to keep it from becoming overpowered.)
  • (It is assumed all unicorns can use Telekinesis.)

By limiting her in such a way, you refine what she can do down to those things essential to her talent, and prevent her from becoming overpowered. Basically, if an OC is approaching the level of what we’ve seen Twilight do, that magic is too powerful. Remember, our OC’s are supposed to be closer to background ponies than they are to the Mane 6.

 

There are a few things listed in her magic and abilities which are definitely not allowed. These need to be removed. They are:

  • Giving artificial constructs intelligence. This is god-like, and WAY outside what a unicorn should be able to do. She can’t grant sentience, full stop. I doubt even Celestia could do that.
  • Metalbending. Sorry, but Lektra’s element seems to be electricity. Unless she can bend it using telekinesis, she’ll need to use a hammer like everypony else.
  • Keep the animation spell non permanent; or at the very least, make a permanent casting something she needs to work on over a longer period of time, and something which will still wear off unless recharged every few months.
  • Genius level intelligence. We get it; she’s clever. You don’t need to overstate it. This would be better mentioned in her personality section.
  • Engineering aptitude. Again, something which can be explained in her backstory and does not need to be outright stated again. Keep the ‘Other’ section for her spells and robot.

You’re over-explaining far too much in the ‘Other’ section. We don’t require a blow-by-blow about how her animation spell works, what her electrical manipulation is called, or what magitech is. We just need a list of her spells, and a small amount of elaboration on anything which is unclear.

 

Sparky

 

First of all, let me assure you that I don’t have a problem with Lektra having an animate pet robot. It suits her ‘mad genius’ vibe. :) However, presently, Sparky is WAY too versatile and overpowered, and his abilities need to be massively curtailed. Basically:

  • No transforming. Choose a form and stick with it. (Probably best to use the one in the picture.)
  • No sentience. This follows on from what was mentioned in the magic section above.
  • Remove the parts at the bottom where you justify how he works/how he’s canon. You won’t need them in the final version of her profile. You can’t make edits once she’s accepted, so it’s best to clear away those extra explanations now. (I like the bit about being 85% mechanical and 15% magic though, that’s quite cute and you’re free to keep that in his description.)

I’m okay with Sparky rolling about and doing cleaning, taking care of Lektra’s day-to-day needs and so on… and if she wants to behave like he’s a sentient being, that’s fine. Again, it suits her quirky personality. But he needs a single form

 

Little Stuff

 

The following are much smaller issues which can be quickly patched.

  • Where it mentions college education, you can say she acquired a degree in experimental engineering; we have made allowances for various universities in EqE, and it’s not impossible for her to have achieved a degree via written correspondence. Just keep it vague, and you should be fine.
  • Kid needs to change to foal.
  • The magical cart and self-cooking stove are a little too advanced; they’d require the machines to have an awareness of their surroundings. The automatic brooms are fine, though.
  • While having the Ponyville folk be a little averse about Lektra and her inventions is okay, be careful not to describe her as being too much of an outcast. Ponyville learned that lesson from Zecora; they wouldn’t be too harsh toward Lektra.
  • While it is completely fine for Lektra to have ADHD and Aspergers, keep in mind that those specific names are not necessarily canon to the Equestrian world. Being a completely different society, Equestrians could have entirely different names and approaches to understanding mental disorders. These terms should be kept in the “other” section and elsewhere you should just describe the symptoms she displays and how they affect her life. This also provides the benefit of giving us a much better understanding of your character, as different people (and ponies) experience the same disorder in different ways. (I see that this is how you have it now, and that’s good. There’s nothing to change here, just making sure you know how to portray these things going forward.)

Finally: The above requests regarding changes to the character are not up for debate. If you wish for Lektra to be a part of EqE, she must fit within established canon without being overpowered. We have a long road to travel in tidying up and condensing this app before Lektra is ready for acceptance, but I 100% believe it is possible.

 

 

Lektra is an interesting character who I’d very much like to see here in the EqE section; she just needs to come down a few notches in power level and she will be a wonderful addition to our world. :)

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Wow. Wow is what I can say right now to start. Really wish character pages had notifications.

 

Thank you Kay and by extension Eloquence, even though she hasn't posted. I love you guys. This is very detailed how I like it and entirely reasonable. I'll get on it. I knew even before I got to the bottom that it wasn't up for debate, and I already have ideas on how to reword things. I actually have a new pic by Trees to upload, though it would still need edits made cause it's for the EvE version and that one does have the hoof marks. Or if Hunter takes a while (He's' busy right now) we can just have it noted that they're not there. Trees was so happy and grateful about the advertising I did for her at Ponycon 2015 that she did this backpack-less Lektra with Sparky for free.

 

I'll need a bit of time to get on this, and I think I will need to ask some clarification on things as I'm going about it. I'm in the middle of an extensive Twilight form for Hypn's RP and I don't want it to suck. It eats my creative juices because I respect the character a lot and want to do her justice, so I might take a while to even start on editing here. I do swear I'll get on it though.

 

Also I'm sorry if some stuff sounds crazy and the TMI. Part of how my own disability manifests is I just passively display my symptoms. I'll try to fix it up. It's both in RP (Though I try to minimize it if I play a character I didn't design with it) and IRL, and to list out the symptoms would be hard since even I don't know all of mine. They just happen and I was diagnosed pretty much ten minutes into talking to my doctor so he saw it and I'm mostly cluseless, which is why I say it will be RPed out as well as possible, cause most times I won't even notice while others do. The most noticeable thing is that I don't immediately understand things that are clear to others, and it has to be explained to me in greater detail. This is also one of the reasons I have a lot of detail myself. I write how I would want it explained to me, so I can get wordy. The other thing is I'm more numb to the feelings of others and don't immediately react (or sometimes not at all) to things that would usually make people very emotional. If I list it out and then don't play it out I'd pretty much be a liar and I don't really want to do that. So yea the best I can say is it will come up on it's own and it's there. Thanks for letting me keep it as is.

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I think it's as good as it's going to get for now without asking for clarification. These things are in no particular order.
 
I've updated her history to mention more of her family as well as kid to foal, and fixed the schooling. Reworded some other things too as you asked. How's it look now?
 
Can I actually use Telekinesis to have her bend or cut metal for use, or would you rather she used her tools more?
 
Since we're making her more about the electricity which is really supposed to be a family magic specialty and not so much her actual talent (But whatever), I changed the percents of how her inventions work. Is that okay?
 
Is it okay I still gave her a lot of control over the electricity she makes? It's based on a cross between the superheroes Static (Creating, directing, and shaping) and Green Lantern (Also shaping, but this is where I based temporarily solidifying from). I would like her to have this as her combat magic, as she is meant to be a character that could use her element to take care of herself or protect others if fights arise. In EvE I RP her as most commonly conjuring a pair of swords out of electricity to swing as weapons, but I usually don't limit it to just those. Also as I state in her profile, it's a hit at parties to create stuff out of electricity for people to enjoy, so I don't really wanna change that too much. I'm sure Pinkie would like that once EqE gets a Pinkie again. Speaking of which, who's gonna welcome her to Ponyville? :(
 
I am having trouble coming up with a way to reword where her History leaves off. How would I make her less of an outcast but make sure she has privacy? In her "offscreen" times, times when she's not in active RP, Lektra needs her privacy to be able to run her little enchanting business.
 
How advanced can I make Lektra's house, for future reference? Can it be made of metal that conducts so she can manipulate it after enchanting it to be able add rooms and stuff? Is she allowed to have a generator? Solar panels? They haven't been shown to exist, but just making sure the answer is no. How about a metal scrap pile in her backyard to pull from for building stuff?
 
If the enchantments aren't permanent, ponies would need semi annual maintenance on their Magitek to have the spell redone for the item to continue working as intended. She would be need to either travel to them or have them come over to her. Is this fine?

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I’ll do my best to answer all of your questions to help you move forward with Lektra :)

 

1 (Family & Foalhood) - This part looks good as far as I can tell.

 

2 (Metalworking) - Your character should use tools to bend and cut metal. If you’re stuck on how to describe or envision how she works, think of how Rarity makes clothes, and apply that to Lektra’s metalworking.

 

3 (Percentages) - Explaining the inventions this way is fine by me.

 

4 (Lightning Magic) - I think the control is still a bit much. I’m alright with creating, directing, and even some vague shaping, but solidifying and shaping lightning into precise forms is more than would be appropriate for this section. Even with those parts taken out, your character should still be easily capable of defending herself (at least she can sure do more than either of my unicorns in that regard). Also, it should be made clear that her lightning magic only comes from her horn, not the rest of her body. I’m fine with her little buzzer trick if it is worded as her directing a light shock from her horn down through her hoof, but it’s been made pretty clear in the show’s canon that unicorn magic always comes from the horn.

 

As for who will welcome Lektra to Ponyville, I’m sure you will find no shortage of friendly ponies in such a happy little town ;)

 

5 (Privacy) - I think that Lektra will be able to get enough privacy just by wanting it. If she stays inside most of the time then she should have plenty of alone time for inventing etc. This would lead her to be seen as a bit of an outcast along with her generally quirky nature, but as long as she is simply thought of as odd and antisocial and not outright shunned then that shouldn’t be a problem.

 

6 (House) - I would say no to the room adding, and no to the solar panels. A generator would be acceptable, but if you intend to add one then I would suggest reading up on the history of the generator so that you can describe it in a way that is in line with the rough time period that the rest of Equestrian technology appears to come from. A metal scrap pile would also be fine, in fact I would say that it would suit her.

 

7 (Enchantments) - I think that would be the best way to handle that, yes. Ponies would either go to her when her shop is open or send her letters requesting her service (if you don’t want Lektra to just insist that other ponies come to her).

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Thank you Elo!

 

I would like to see Kay's take on her making hard lightning constructs like Green Lantern and the house stuff before I go ahead with that. Not trying to argue, just would like to know if you guys are in agreement is all.

 

The magic out of the body thing is probably not worded clear enough. I mean to say that it's always her horn magic and her horn would glow when she uses it. What I mean to say is I would like her to be able to direct her lightning magic through her body without ill effects to emit from any point she wants, or even cover herself with it so touching her would literally be shocking and protect from some blows. I can't figure out how to reword it to say this though. Help please?

 

I'll get to work rewording the privacy, but I'll need some time to think on it so it won't be immediate sorry.

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Elo has said I should mention I mean to give her complete immunity to lightning after that storm, which means she can channel her lightning without hurting herself and walk through thunderstorms unharmed. And yes, it always comes from the horn which lights up, but I'd like her to be able to emit the lightning from any part of the body. I thought it a minor detail since not having it is like saying the Human Torch burns himself when he uses his powers. Really don't think an immunity to lightning is too much to be protected from one's own powers and natural versions of such powers.

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Thank you Elo!

 

I would like to see Kay's take on her making hard lightning constructs like Green Lantern and the house stuff before I go ahead with that. Not trying to argue, just would like to know if you guys are in agreement is all.

 

Unfortunately, we're not sure when Kay will be around next. She does character reviews as she has time, but due to her career she's usually only on in bursts, and she's already returned to work.

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That's fine. I'll get it as close as I feel possibly can without her input, but I'd like it when she's available. I've been surprisingly busy lately.

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Abel that's a professional art.

 

Elo, at the time I had just added her OCD. Sorry about the false positive. But we've been talking in PM and I've updated her spell list as well as I could by what we discussed, and added the privacy request. I think we just need to figure out what's acceptable for Magitek.

 

Also took out scanning from Sparky.

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Alright, here’s a review of your “other” section as promised :)

 

I’ll start with the two larger items to address, then move on to some little easy-to-adjust things I noticed.

 

  • Electrical Animation - based on what we’ve seen, this spell should work more or less as a magical perpetual motion generator (if she zaps a propellor it will spin on its own for a given amount of time, for example), using magic as a power source to allow for motion and sensors (like those seen in the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy), the same way electricity does in our world. I can’t quite tell from your description if this is what you have in mind, so I’ll give an example of how I see this working. Say you want something that will sweep the floor for you. Lektra would not be just taking a broom and zapping it so it can sweep on its own, she would create a sweeping machine with wheels that move the broom and allow it to swing, thus placing emphasis on her inventive abilities.

  • Sparky - When describing Sparky, you should make more clear that it is an inanimate machine. Like Kay said, it is completely fine for Lektra to treat Sparky like it is a sentient being, give it a name, and refer to it as a he, but it should be clear to us as readers that it is not. When using Sparky in RPs, it should also be kept in mind that Sparky is a machine, and will thus be limited in its capabilities as compared to a living creature.

  • The disclaimer “This will be RPed out as well as possible, and if you write your emotions out as very visible it shouldn't be a problem.” is not necessary, as we know you will roleplay every part of your character to the best of your ability. It also seems to suggest that people should roleplay differently from normal with your character (though I don’t think you meant it to sound this way), which wouldn’t be fair to ask.

  • Some of the description for her disorders seems a little wonky to me, and none of it is really needed. We understand that your character’s actions will be affected by these disorders well enough, and if someone doesn’t know what a disorder is then a quick google search will give them the basics of it.

  • The M6/Mane 6 should be referred to as the Elements of Harmony. While we know what you mean, it’s good to get in the habit of referring to them like your pony would.

  • I notice that you describe your spells as not being limited to extreme distances. I don’t know what you consider an “extreme distance”, but your spells should have some kind of distance limit. You don’t have to set a limit, but you shouldn’t explicitly state that they have no limit either.

  • “Constructs” is kind of an odd word to use here, “objects” or “machines” would work better.

  • The sentence “Enchanted objects already exist, like Tank's propeller which clearly has a visible magic spell.” is unnecessary. You don’t need to be making justifications in your application. Those of us on staff are the only ones making decisions on whether or not what you have is acceptable for this section, and we know about most of the show’s lore already.

  • The link to a picture of Sparky doesn’t appear to be working, at least it doesn’t when I click on it.
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I'm not really a fan of using magic, even electrical magic, as a power source. Based on what we've seen it's not used as such, except by Flim and Flam who kind of break the mold. But they had to keep feeding the SSCS to keep it going. We have not seen other actual magic powered stuff, and things just do things because the spell does what it says it does then ends. Magitek is powered by the initial enchantment and maintained by ambient magic in the atmosphere in perpetual motion (Where things need to move, like gears), which is why I didn't originally have a duration on it. I can see that as being too advanced for a strict canon setting which is why I didn't have a problem with having a duration. But I did mean a machine that is enchanted to move the broom in sweeping motion. How do you want me to reword that, exactly?

 

Really, inanimate machine? Sparky has directives to follow and is animate, though not sentient. Maybe this is just poor wording and I'm having trouble understanding it, but if something is inanimate then it doesn't do anything. Like a carpet lays flat. The fact that Sparky has functions and does things means Sparky isn't really all that inanimate. Non-sentient sure, but not inanimate either. Am I just not understanding what you mean here? :(

 

Taking out the disclaimer and extra stuff then if you think it's unnecessary. Not asking for special treatment.

 

The distance thing was because Kay asked for one, but distance is hard to gauge in RP where it's not visual but all text and I try to keep it within reasonable distances. I think line of sight is appropriate? Like as far as she can see.

 

I'm going to say objects in her form, but might change to using the word machines later as RP develops. I just don't recall the word machine ever appearing in the show, and even Hooves didn't use the word expressly. What do you think of that? Constructs just seemed appropriate to a magical world like this.

 

Ah you're right about not having to justify. This is a leftover from EvE where stuff is looser and justifications are necessary. Removing that then.

 

I found a new working pic for the inspiration of Sparky, but do you think I should just take it out entirely now that Sparky has art? That's kind of a leftover from when Sparky had no art.

 

How's it look now?

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Going paragraph by paragraph to respond to your latest comment -

 

If you also intended for Lektra to use this spell to allow her machines to function, then we should be on the same page, even if we think of how the magic exactly works in different ways. How magic functions exactly is more up to interpretation, so we don't need to worry about that. I would say that replacing "object" with "machine" in the despription of your Animation spell should fix up the ambiguity issue well enough here by making it clear that the magic works mechanically and not like long-term telekinesis. 

 

Non-sentient would have been a better choice of words for Sparky, and for that I apologize. Here a simple note that Lektra likes to treat Sparky as if it is a sentient pet would cover at least most of the issue.

 

Looks good :)

 

How you have it worded now seems appropriate to me.

 

"Objects" works for me, though your character builds machines so I'd imagine the word will come up rather often for you.

 

Also looks good, thank you :)

 

Assuming the art you have of Sparky with Lektra is more accurate, I would say to remove the reference image altogether to remove any potential confusion over how Sparky's supposed to look.

 

This definitely looks better, hopefully everything I just wrote will get you that last little bit of the way there :)

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How's it look now? I kept object in some places cause it seemed to sound better, took out the original reference image for Sparky, and added that she treats him as male and sentient.

 

Would you like me to lay out my headcanon for Magitek now? I laid it out above pretty much. We are definitely on the same page that it's based on perpetual motion, though just for a very long time.

 

There's the directives spoken during casting being "code" in terms of what we have for computers, and mana/electricity flowing inside to magically carry commands around some wires with responses being "coded in" for the things she needs Sparky to do. This is as dummed down as possible since he's not going to be sentient here. Just acting on presets.

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As it stands, this section looks good to me. I'm willing to put the "finished" stamp on it, at least for now. Now you're free to pick the next section you'd like to work on :)

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Lol me? You know I'm hesitant to change anything for fear of the character straying too far from the EvE version. Unless I have to change more. If you all have no further issues with it, I guess maybe give me a day or two to see if I feel she's missing anything now, and call it fully done? :)

 

Maybe we should find a way to put the Magitek explanation into the form proper?

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I have your review ready now, as promised. There appear to only be a few things left that I can see that need to be altered. It seems that we’re on the home stretch with this :)

 

  • Appearance - It should be noted in this section that Lektra does not have the lightning bolts on her legs that appear in the image you use for her.

  • Personality - You mention Lektra being “tomboyish” and lacking the “manners of a mare”. These descriptions rely on gender stereotypes from our world that are not present or at least heavily diluted in Equestria, and therefore don’t hold up in the context of Lektra’s world. It would be best to describe her as “not finicky”, “not afraid to get her hooves dirty”, “uninterested in finery”, etc etc.

  • Likes & Dislikes - The mentions of the characters Pinkie and Derpy as well as the princesses should be removed. While I realize it wasn’t your intent, mentioning Pinkie and Derpy by name suggests that Lektra is familiar with them, and in both instances it simply raises the question of why those ponies are excluded from her disapproval. It would give a better understanding of your character if you explained why she has exemptions to her disapproval of stupidity or authority.

  • Backstory - The story of how Lektra received her Cutie Mark does not really fit together as it stands. How did being struck by lightning make your pony realize she wanted to become an inventor? If you can answer this question in your application, the issue here will be fixed.

These four things are the only ones I found. Fix them up and I can move Lektra to second approval :)

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