writing I Wrote a Poem!

[Henny Penny Benny 936]

So hey. I wrote a poem. Thoughts?

 

 

I look down at him
He stares back up at me
Silent
Still
Blank
Empty

 

I wait for him to make a move
I wait
Wait
He waits for me, too

 

Waves pass between us
Rise and fall
Ebb and flow
The murky water hiding what lies below

 

We hold each others gaze
Watching
Waiting
As the flowing water
Carries us away

 

As I stare
He stares back
Just outside my reach
A breath beyond my grasp

 

My oldest friend
We're never apart
Yet never quite together

 

I reach for him
He reaches back
But never can we touch,
The rippling waves
Our soft but rigid veil

 

I turn
He turns too
As I walk away
He's gone
Until next I pay a visit
To my shadow on the pond

 

[Aeros Sine 492]

hmm....you hit the goal here...I see a relationship rekindling at a soft and calm location. You seem to give a clear hints of what you are making or telling us. 

 

 

 

My oldest friend We're never apart Yet never quite together

 

 

 

In particular I see this stanza being the most significant of meaning. Friends that are together but never available with faith in themselves. The passion of the relationship that they can't reach. A passion just above the cliff and now they possibly never see each other again.

 

Nice poem, I really enjoyed it. Keep practicing. I would like to see a little more imagery in the distance between them  but all in all, it is great.