critique wanted I made a new OC. What do you think?

[El Duderino 878]

I made a new OC that I really like, but I like to ask others what they think so I can make sure it is good. 

What do you guys think? Anything I should change?

 

https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/irish-coffee-r9014

 

I am not too crazy about the name, so if anyone has any better ideas, I am listening.

[Roughshod 719]

"He is very sarcastic and has a dry sense of humor, which can make him seem like an ass at first, but he has a sweet side once you get to know him."

 

Sounds like a solid dude if you ask me.

 

The colours are a little conflicting but I kinda like the strong tones you're going for.

 

As for the name I'll admit 'Irish Coffee' seems a bit odd and contrived for a pony in Equestria. Maybe something like 'Hard Stuff', 'Thoroughbrew' or 'Rye Guy'.

Edited November 9, 2015 by Roughshod

[Snake 515]

I do not care for the coat color, but I like his backstory and personality! I just hope he isn't an alcoholic! I like the name, by the way!

[El Duderino 878]

The colours are a little conflicting but I kinda like the strong tones you're going for. As for the name I'll admit 'Irish Coffee' seems a bit odd and contrived for a pony in Equestria. Maybe something like 'Hard Stuff', 'Thoroughbrew' or 'Rye Guy'.

 

 

 

I do not care for the coat color, but I like his backstory and personality! I just hope he isn't an alcoholic! I like the name, by the way!

Maybe I'll change the coat color. And I like Thoroughbrew a lot. I think that's clever. Thanks! 

 

Update:

I updated the character profile. I changed the coat to a brown color to match better. A also changed his name to Thoroughbrew. I am much happier with that name. Thanks for the feedback! 

 

https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/thoroughbrew-r9014

Edited November 9, 2015 by McDude

[Roughshod 719]

And I like Thoroughbrew a lot. I think that's clever. Thanks!

 

Well what can I say? Happy to help, Dude.

 

[BlueBrony 388]

I like the character. The coat color is a little jarring, but I understand what you were going for. Perhaps mixing in a little brown into the coat color will help it blend better?

 

At what point did he get his cutie mark? when he tried to make his own brew when he was a kid, or when he made his first drink when he was older, or perhaps at a different time?

 

name ideas:

Wesley Harding- a bit of a stretch, but wesley is sort of a mash up of wet and whistle ("to wet your whistle") and Harding is a variant of hard, referring to hard drinks

 

Frothy Top

 

EDIT Whelp I'm late to the party!

Edited November 9, 2015 by BlueBrony

[El Duderino 878]

 

 

At what point did he get his cutie mark? when he tried to make his own brew when he was a kid, or when he made his first drink when he was older, or perhaps at a different time?

 

I am thinking he got it when he was a kid, because that's when most ponies get theirs, but I didn't put anything because I thought it might be strange for a little colt to have a cutie mark related to alcohol. 

[BlueBrony 388]

 

 

I am thinking he got it when he was a kid, because that's when most ponies get theirs, but I didn't put anything because I thought it might be strange for a little colt to have a cutie mark related to alcohol.

 

I can imagine the primary school show and tell. Hilariously Awkward   

[Roughshod 719]

Frothy Top

Not bad but it seems to conflict with his smart alack personality. Plus it sounds more feminine, and like the name of a bartender. Maybe his partner in legally questionable business?

I am thinking he got it when he was a kid, because that's when most ponies get theirs, but I didn't put anything because I thought it might be strange for a little colt to have a cutie mark related to alcohol.

 

Well... You could have him start off by mixing his own batches of super sugary sodas and milkshakes and moving up from there. Perhaps using his father's old jugs to dispense them to other young ponies. I'm picturing a filly Pinky or Applejack throwing back a xxx jug of soda and some adult pony being like 'What the!?'. That's a pretty comical image. Edited November 9, 2015 by Roughshod

[DormantAccount 308]

I like the pun with thoroughbrew, but I'm always a bit hesitant to have somepony be named something that is an adult activity. Brewing in this case.

 

How about:

 

Venerable Spirit

 

Venerable accounting for "accorded a great deal of respect, especially because of age, wisdom, or character." Could mean of good character or old as aged whiskey when combined with spirit

 

Spirit having the obvious double meaning of both soul and alcoholic beverage

 

So either Respected Soul or Good Old Whiskey

 

His nickname could be Vinny

[Roughshod 719]

I like the pun with thoroughbrew, but I'm always a bit hesitant to have somepony be named something that is an adult activity. Brewing in this case.

Give me a break. You do know that Applejack is literally the name of a hard liquor right?

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Applejack_%28beverage%29

 

Besides, you can 'brew' lots of things besides alcohol. Just look at Zecora she's always brewing something up.

 

How about:

 

Venerable Spirit

 

Venerable accounting for "accorded a great deal of respect, especially because of age, wisdom, or character." Could mean of good character or old as aged whiskey when combined with spirit

 

Spirit having the obvious double meaning of both soul and alcoholic beverage

 

So either Respected Soul or Good Old Whiskey

How about:

 

Pretentious Pony

 

Pretentious because that's what he sounds like.

Pony because that's what he is.

Edited November 9, 2015 by Roughshod

[DormantAccount 308]

Give me a break. You do know that Applejack is literally the name of a hard liquor right?https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Applejack_(beverage)

Besides, you can 'brew' lots of things besides alcohol. Just look at Zecora she's always brewing something up.

 

How about:

Pretentious Pony

Pretentious because that's what he sounds like.

Pony because that's what he is.

Lol someone put a bee in your bonnet.

[Roughshod 719]

Lol someone put a bee in your bonnet.

'Venerable Spirit' isn't a bad name in and of itself but it's too forced and doesn't fit this characters background and persona. It sounds like the name of some great Equestrian warrior of lore, not a sarcastic stallion in Ponyville who makes whiskey in his basement.

[DormantAccount 308]

'Venerable Spirit' isn't a bad name in and of itself but it's too forced and doesn't fit this characters background and persona. It sounds like the name of some great Equestrian warrior of lore, not a sarcastic stallion in Ponyville who makes whiskey in his basement.

It's a bit of irony.

 

You wouldn't expect someone like that to have a thoughtful name. His parents wanted better for him, so they gave him a big name to live up to. He didn't get to pick it, but he did get to pick his nickname. They were from Canterlot, so a snooty name isn't crazy. Besides everyone would just call him Vinny

[Roughshod 719]

It's a bit of irony.

You wouldn't expect someone like that to have a thoughtful name. His parents wanted better for him, so they gave him a big name to live up to. He didn't get to pick it, but he did get to pick his nickname. They were from Canterlot, so a snooty name isn't crazy. Besides everyone would just call him Vinny

Geez. With a story like that it's no wonder he took to drinking. He's probably depressed. Was his father an alcoholic too? His background does mention his father drinking. There's no mention of his mother so she might have died or his parents may have gotten divorced and that's why he moved. What a nice story for a children's show universe.

 

Either way Thoroughbrew is still fairly snooty and Canterlot worthy. I stand by it.

[DormantAccount 308]

Geez. With a story like that it's no wonder he took to drinking. He's probably depressed. Was his father an alcoholic too? His background does mention his father drinking. There's no mention of his mother so she might have died or his parents may have gotten divorced and that's why he moved. What a nice story for a children's show universe.

Either way Thoroughbrew is still fairly snooty and Canterlot worthy. I stand by it.

You seem to be taking this a little too personally, so I'll leave it at that before this thing escalates.

[Roughshod 719]

You seem to be taking this a little too personally, so I'll leave it at that before this thing escalates.

lol I didn't meant to come off as that caustic or rude. But you're probably right. I'll refrain from chastising any further suggestions. It's not even my OC after all.

[El Duderino 878]

They were from Canterlot, so a snooty name isn't crazy.

 

 

Ya, I think Thoroughbrew would be a name I could imagine some snooty ponies from Cantrerlot naming their kid, especially if they were heavy drinkers. I mean thoroughbred is is a horse breed used in horse racing, which is associated with rich people. 

 

 

 

Geez. With a story like that it's no wonder he took to drinking. He's probably depressed. Was his father an alcoholic too? His background does mention his father drinking. There's no mention of his mother so she might have died or his parents may have gotten divorced and that's why he moved. What a nice story for a children's show universe.

 

I like how you guys pretty much decided he had some terrible parents. Haha! Ok, I'll go along with that. I like to leave some of my characters backstory to the imagination.

Also notice I only used the word Alcohol when describing what his cutie mark looked like. I used the term "hard beverage", which implies alcoholic, but doesn't limit it to that. You can use your imagination to decide exactly what he is brewing.

Edited November 9, 2015 by McDude

[AquaMinty101 59]

I really like it, name and all. But the one thing is that I think he would look better if the brown wasn't in his mane at the bottom, making it on top of the "caramel" type color. It contrast a lot with the coat color. that's just my thoughts, but of course it's your OC and your choice.

[El Duderino 878]

I really like it, name and all. But the one thing is that I think he would look better if the brown wasn't in his mane at the bottom, making it on top of the "caramel" type color. It contrast a lot with the coat color. that's just my thoughts, but of course it's your OC and your choice.

Hmmm... I think I know what you mean, and I see your point. I don't want to get rid of the brown in the mane because I think it helps give a bit of depth to it. Basically, I designed the mane to have two colors and getting rid of one would mess up the design. Unless there is a completely different color scheme I can come up with. I'll keep working on different colors, but I haven't found any other combos yet that I am pleased with. I changed the coat color slightly to match a little better. It's not that noticeable, but I think it's a little better.

[El Duderino 878]

Ok, so I've been working on re-coloring Thoroughbrew. I am trying to stick to a brown coloration because I think it fits the character best. I have a few I think are good, but I can't decide which one.

 

This is the one currently on the character page. I think it's OK, but I'm not crazy about it.

 

This one I experimented using colors from a picture of AJs apple cider, because that is the closest thing to an alcoholic beverage in the show. I think it turned out ok.

 

 

This one uses darker shades of brown and some black. I like this one a lot.

 

This one uses a red color pallet instead of brown. I tried to keep it on close to brown, which resulted in a clay coloring. I think it looks nice.

 

So I am curious on what you guys think. Which one do you like the best? Are there any you don't like at all? I appreciate the feedback. 

 

Also, If you don't like any of the ones I came up with, then feel free to recommend some color schemes. If you come up with one that I like and use, then I will credit you on the character page. 

Edited November 16, 2015 by McDude

[BlueBrony 388]

I like #3 the best, but #4 also looks good and I think is a little more unusual