critique wanted Jin, Moxie, and Nano

[PanthaKyat 34]

I want to get a critique from you guy on a few of my OCs. I just finshed there character pages.

 

Moxie-

character page

https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/moxie-r9104

 

Jin-

character pages

https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/jin-r9105

 

 

Nano-

character page

https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/nano-r9106

Edited December 4, 2015 by PanthaKyat

[BlueBrony 388]

I love the stylized originality of these designs. I also love the fact that two of them are earth ponies! Unfortunately I do not see them working well within the show's canon universe. Judging by the character sheets, it looks like these ponies were made with an alternate universe fanfic (or two) in mind. If that's what you were going for, then great! These characters have a lot of thought and care behind them.

 

Moxie-

great name, interesting use of fire magic. I feel like she needs a more defined weakness to make her a more rounded character. Also, I think that her and jin should still be on the island, or maybe in zebrica. Also, where is her cutie mark?

 

Jin-

nice character design. good weakness. Here's another "curse" for him- he burns whoever he touches, except moxie.

 

These two together would make for an interesting old pony or zebra legend: the story of fire and how it can be comforting or frightening, and how it can heal or hurt

 

Nano-

Where is her cutie mark? good overall design. Don't know if she would be able to live in Ponyville if the scientists are still looking for her. Maybe she could be like a traveling merchant, selling her inventions to make a living while evading the scientists trying to capture her.