Need Help With a Few Finishing Touches

[crispy fries 432]

I recently made this new OC and I need help with the finishing touches. I can't think of name or a cutie mark, but I have everything else. Any other critique is welcome thoug, BTW, this OC took inspiration from Max Payne.

 

Personality: Very cynical and jaded. Tends to sarcastically crack wise and often uses self deprecating humor. He becomes all business and doesn't take any B.S. in a serious situation. He's an alcoholic and isn't very sociable. He tries do right by others and won't let injustice stand.

 

Backstory: He worked his way from police officer to investigator, and started a family with his wife and daughter. Both ended up being victims of organized crime, which he never truly got over. He now has a vendetta against all crime, and still keeps his job as a police investigator.

Edited February 29, 2016 by crispy fries

[P1nkiedank 125]

Maybe his name could be something like Detective Red Hoof, and maybe have a magnifying glass as his cutie mark? Or maybe a hoofprint? I don't know, just a few ideas.

[MDLineArt 93]

Cutie Mark idea:  Cracked Magnifying Glass

Just seems to work with that you are going for, it's what he's best at but it also had some forshadowing of what the job was going to bring him in time, now he's broken and trying to put the pieces together.

Name Ideas:  Brick Trace, Cue , Hot Lead, Solemn Sleuth,  Gumshoe, Maroon Malone

[Melted Dog 161]

I'd go over the colours if I were you: tweak them a bit, they don't look too good together.

[MDLineArt 93]

I'd go over the colours if I were you: tweak them a bit, they don't look too good together.

Is it because it's so saturated?  Do you think this kind of character is better in classic pastel?

[Melted Dog 161]

Yes, that too, but mostly it's simply because they don't look good together. Tone the red down a bit.

Is it because it's so saturated?  Do you think this kind of character is better in classic pastel?

 

[MDLineArt 93]

I don't mind the red and yellow, they are good complimentary colours.  I think the thing that needs to change is the hue of brown.  Have it lean a little more neutral, or a contrasting colour. 

Biggest thing for me is the attempt at the beard.  I would say the stubble doesn't follow where it would naturally grow on a human being, and being a pony his face already has enough facial hair, so 'stubble' doesnt stand out.  Like what you are going for, but I would say give him defined 'cheeks' in the facial hair.

[Starlet Harmony 128]

Maybe his name could be something like Detective Red Hoof, and maybe have a magnifying glass as his cutie mark? Or maybe a hoofprint? I don't know, just a few ideas.

 

I really like these ideas! Detective red hoof definitely for his name! You could make his cutiemark like a briefcase with a magnifying glass and a hoof print in front of it... if that makes since! I can picture it in my head haha! He reminds me of Agent Aaron Hotchner from Criminal Minds. I don't know if you ever watch it but it's one of my favorite shows!