private "A Royal Pain?" 1 x 1 with Hazard Time

[The Down Trotten 299]

OOC

Rhetoric gulped in a fit of anxiety as he walked up to the manor house. Trying his best to dust off his father's old slightly worn tuxedo. This was a big event and he had been asked to dress his best. Normally he would  refrain from such things, mostly because he simply didn't have the means to do so, but considering his host he wished to please 

 

That didn't change the fact that he hoped that what he was wearing would be enough to fit the exceptions of whom he was meeting, even if he barely had two bits to rub together. But this was about policies and not money, so if he just summoned up some confidence he could be fine.

 

"Alright here goes nothing" he mumbled as he walked up to the large manor doors and gave them a hearty knock 

 

 

[Hazard Time 1,127]

Twilight approached as the last vestiges of sunlight peaked out from behind the many tall peaks of the Unicorn Mountains in the distance.  Far to the east, Canterlot glowed with candlelight as night descended.  To the north, the rolling farmland was silent, the many peasants who worked them turning in.  Between all of it, sat Rollicking Hills.

 

Ten-foot high brick walls kept the prying eyes of the common riff-raff away, the perimeter under tight surveillance by a few dozen crystal pony guards armed with spears and xiphosi.  Past the gilded iron gates emblazoned with a silver linnorm, was a verdant and well-maintained garden.  Flowers of virtually every type lined the path, which led straight to a central roundabout featuring a marble fountain depicting the goddess Iridia supported by her seven Virtues.  Twin paths branched out to either side of the estate, and simply a peek might yield another colorful display of expert landscaping or even one of the dozen or so peacocks that dwelled within the gardens.

 

The manor itself, however, was immense, a magnificent piece of baroque architecture with white plaster walls and a green tile roof.  From the center rose a large, hemispherical cupola adorned with a silver linnorm, rearing up on its tail with its maw open wide as if to consume the setting sun.  An east and a west wing were clearly present, the number of windows indicating a large number of rooms, possibly enough to entertain two dozen ponies.

 

In spite of its large size, it took merely a few seconds for a pony to answer the door.  The pony, however, was not Carnelian.  In fact, it was a grey unicorn stallion in a neatly-pressed and well-fitted waistcoat, his blonde mane short and neatly combed.  His deep blue eyes hesitated on the earth pony for a moment, as if he was attempting to reconcile the stallion that stood before him with the stallion that was in his head.

 

 

"Oh, good evening, Mr. Rhetoric," he greeted with a genuine smile, snapping to attention and opening the door wider.  "Please, come in!  My Lady is waiting for us in the dining room."

 

As soon as Rhetoric stepped inside, he would be greeted by a blinding display of obscene luxury.  Before him lay pristine marble floors, waxed and polished to the N^th degree.  A grand staircase bifurcated the manor, two corridors leading off to either wing, both on the first and second floors.  Upon the walls were priceless works of art, from sculptures to artifacts to modern art paintings.  

 

Above, though, was where the true magnificence was.  The inside of the cupola was completely painted, depicting the creation of the earth moon, and sun by Iridia and her angels.  From the center hung a massive crystal chandelier, with diamonds, rubies, emeralds, and sapphires dangling from gold chains.  Altogether, the sight was at once awe-inspiring and confusing.  Was the pilgrim in Heaven or still on earth?

 

"The dining room is right down this way," the unicorn's tenor voice announced, leading the alien visitor past even more disgusting displays of opulence and into the east wing.

Edited August 10, 2016 by Hazard Time

[The Down Trotten 299]

@@Hazard Time, 

 

The earth pony of humble origins, heaved a low blow out of the corner of his mouth as he almost felt the cleanliness crawl over him, the sterile feeling, after being in the outside world for so long made him feel uneasy, and unusually dirty. So much so he began to self consciously check himself over a few more times.

 

He looked at what he assumed to be the head butler and gave him a weak smile "Kind sir, before I have the honor of meeting the lady of the house, I must ask, am I at all suitable? I must admit my heritage and my occupation do me a disservice for the occasion and what you see before you is the best I could muster... and Oh before I forget, whom do I have the pleasure of speaking to?" he stuck out his hoof, not at all above making the aquantince of the servant folk, heck they all probably had more etiquette and grace then Rhetoric would ever have 

[Hazard Time 1,127]

@@The Down Trotten

 

The unicorn stopped in the middle of the hallway, looking the other stallion over.  He seemed to blush, his eyes barely holding eye contact.

 

 

"You look...really nice," he stammered, nervously pawing at the ground.  When he finally lifted his deep blue gaze from the marble tiles, he gave a nervous chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck.

 

"And my name is Low Key," he answered, stopping for a moment to shake the other's hoof.  His grip was very light, his hooves incredibly smooth from a recent (and no-doubt expensive) hooficure.  "I'm Lady Carnelian's personal secretary.  I keep track of her arrangements, keep her up to date on the progress of her investments, and I also, um..."  Low hesitated, his eyes shifting.  "I also...make her comfortable!  Anyway, we shouldn't keep my Lady waiting much longer."  With that, he quickly turned around and continued down the corridor.  There was a bit of a spring in his step, as if he was suddenly in a hurry to get her to Carnelian.

 

It was barely a short trot before they reached a room with large double doors.  Low Key opened it with his magic, revealing a large dining room, the centerpiece being a table long enough to feed a dozen ponies.  On the far end, watching the door with anticipation, was the baroness, herself.  If her vacation home was magnificent, her attire was even more so.  Draped about her body was a sparkling silver dress, and not a cheap one.  Her signature silver and carnelian crown upon her head, she also wore a ruby amulet about her neck.

 

 

"Mr. Rhetoric, such a pleasure to see you again," she called out.  "Please have a seat, any seat."

[The Down Trotten 299]

@@Hazard Time,

 

Low Key's... assurance did anything to assure Rhetoric, although he had to swallow a chuckle at some of the unicorns duties. If he had the time he would have patted him on the back smiled and said "Mums the word chap, mums the word" but of course there was no time for that, as he was already usurered into the main room, to the main Lady herself, and as expected she was stunning

 

All the more reason why he felt almost silly in is tux, while he always dreamed of dressing to the nines, it wasn't him, and here he was standing in the natural habitat of a mare whom he had to impress, nonetheless he flashed a smile and did his best to hide his nervousness "Any chair? I would ask for yours, but considering I already have a poor taste in attire it wouldn't be very wise to start off the night with a poor taste in humor." he chuckled

 

"So instead I shall take up on your kind offer and sit in the seat of honor to your direct right madam" he gave a slight bow and found his way there "I must say Baroness, even for a proletariat such as myself, I am utterly stunned at the beauty of your house, I can only assume it takes after you of course"   he had caught from their brief interaction that this mare was flirtatious, and he figured why not give it a shot, might be exciting 

Edited August 11, 2016 by The Down Trotten

[Hazard Time 1,127]

@@The Down Trotten

 

Carnelian guffawed uproariously, swatting a hoof in Rhetoric's direction.  "Oh, you are too much!" she said in between gasps.  "I'm keeping you!"

 

After finally coming down from her laughing fit, she waved over to Low Key, who was immediately by her side.  "The appetizers should be ready now.  Please bring them in, dear.  Oh!  And break out the good Cab."

 

"On it!"  The secretary nearly bounced as he trotted out the door, leaving the baroness and the revolutionary alone.  Carnelian turned her gaze to Rhetoric, a sly smile brightening her face.

 

"Adorable, isn't he?  I was so lucky to find him at that soiree in Canterlot, such a perfect storm of beauty, diligence, social awkwardness, and cripplingly low self-esteem.  He doesn't even think, he just does.  The perfect stallion, if I ever had one."

 

She took a moment to taste her grin, and after confirming it tasted good, she began a new subject.  "So how's the revolution coming along?  'Sticking it to the mare', out there?"

[The Down Trotten 299]

@@Hazard Time,

 

Rhetoric first adressed the subject  of Low Key "He certainly seems to  be the best at his job. in fact I was a server of sorts myself on more then one occasion and I can contest I was not nearly as good, but adorable? I wouldn't use that word myself, but then again I'm a stallion who only swings in one direction, if I may beat around the bush a bit" he cleared his throat, still getting used to such "risqué" discussion

 

But he dropped it as quickly as she did and chuckled at her last question "Hardly Baroness, only recently have things truly picked up, that's not to say I haven't tried before, been arrested a few times for less then gentlestallion like behavior" he shook his head at the mix of fond yet regretful memories "But come now surely you don't want to bore yourself with my exploits?" 

[Hazard Time 1,127]

@@The Down Trotten

 

"And Low's door revolves," Carnelian quipped before segueing into Rhetoric's other topic.  "In all seriousness, do go on!  I might tell you a few stories of my own.  You show me yours, and I'll show you mine?"

 

At the moment, Low Key returned with a platter of appetizers, two plates, two glasses, and a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon in his magic.  The plates and glasses went before each pony before each were promptly filled with their respective fair.  The first course of the meal, the appetizer, was to be Bruschetta, small slices of toasted baguette rubbed with garlic, olive oil, and salt, and topped with tomatoes.  A basalmic vinaigrette laced atop each individual slice.

 

"Thank you, dear," Carnelian said, flashing a warm smile towards her secretary.  Low blushed and moved off to the side, watching and waiting for his baroness' next command.

 

"Should you choose, you are more than free to pause to finish your first course," Carnelian stated to her guest before picking up a bite-sized bruschetta and eating it whole.  "Be sure to save room, though.  You and I have six more courses to go through."

Edited August 11, 2016 by Hazard Time

[The Down Trotten 299]

@@Hazard Time, 

 

"Madam, I once worked on a farm for ten hours and only have a bowl of potatoes and cabbage as a welcome home meal. Six courses sounds utterly divine, and I can't thank you enough" he took a loaf and began to eat at a bit undignified, but hey he kept his mouth closed at least 

 

"Ahem, anyway if you are truly interested in my misadventures, then perhaps the most explosive one would do nicely." he settled into his chair, turning himself ever so slightly to properly face his host "As I remember it was a magic show convention and for the fifth year in a row they denied my entry as a panel speaker. So to put it simply, I had, had enough of their poor treatment and had come prepared this year to put on quiet the show. I took aside some show mare, asked for her autograph, swiftly knocked her out, took to her stage, and ranted for a good solid hour about my opinions. 

 

When the official's finally realized what I had done, and what was going on they stormed the stage, and that Baroness, is what I brought the fireworks for. Sadly  I don't think many ponies heard me over my wonderful display of pyrotechnics and of course when I was all out I was... "escorted" off the stage, jailed, fined, and told never to come back again. I like to think I made an impact on the few who watched the whole ordeal though, and it shan't be a day that many will forget thats for sure" 

 

He sat up again and sipped at his bubbly and sighed in contentment "That's one of my more exciting exploits I must say, very rarely do I get that far or get that radical, but that day I was full of piss and vinegar and for once my unseeming demeanor worked in my favor" 

[Hazard Time 1,127]

@@The Down Trotten

 

"Quite the demagogue, you are."  Carnelian propped her head on the table with her hoof, popping another bruschetta into her mouth.  "I'm impressed.  It's hard to find a stallion these days with your...how do you say...chutzpah.  What I would give to see a spectacle like that."

 

Having finished half her plate, the baroness pushed it away, where it was immediately engulfed in a blue aura and levitated off to the side.  "I would think Mr. Rhetoric will be done very soon.  You may retrieve the second course, dear."  Low Key nodded and exited with her plate in his magic.

 

"So, for all your talk of revolution, you must have some natural public speaking skills.  Any stories about them I might enjoy?"

[The Down Trotten 299]

@@Hazard Time,

 

Rhetoric this time blushed "Ah I doubt it, most of the time my public speech events contain either confused bored looking ponies, or tomato and cabbage throwing crowds. Either or, I can't really force my views on them, after all things go much smoother if they agree with it, or at least can be convinced. I may be a revolutionary but I would like it to do it with the ponies support..." he sighed and paused for a moment

"Must be be nice to be able to get things done without working with such... narrow minded individuals" he chuckled     

[Hazard Time 1,127]

@@The Down Trotten

 

Carnelian tapped her chin in thought, thinking over what Rhetoric was telling her.

 

"Well, dear, the problem you have is simple.  You have a great passion, which is necessary for any demagogue.  Unfortunately, you lack the charisma.  While I find it amusing, disrupting events that ponies paid for will not earn you their attention.  No, revolutions begin because the small folk are desperate, and they turn to any pony that speaks from their heart, speaks with their voice, feels their pain, and knows their struggles."

 

At this point, Low returned with the second course, a thick tomato soup with herbs.  The unicorn refilled their wine glasses and once more stood off to the side.

 

"Therefore, what I would suggest, Mr. Rhetoric, is to find the voice of the common pony.  What do they worry about?  Do they even worry?  If not, then you need to create a problem, and I have several ideas...if you're interested."

[The Down Trotten 299]

@@Hazard Time,

 

"The thing is that they have plenty to worry but they seem content to ignore them" he grumbled "But obviously my methods haven;t worked thus far so I'm more then willing to listen. If I had money I'd pay for your ideas Baroness" he wasn't joking but wrote it off as a half decent joke and laughed

 

"Oh an off hoof note, do you dance? Surely you didn't think I just came tonight for business?" he flashed his best devilish grin "After dinner of course."  

[Hazard Time 1,127]

@@The Down Trotten

 

"You'll need a rather large amount, I'm afraid.  I only accept gems, and I get paid by the hour."  Carnelian chuckled at her own retort, stirring her soup before sipping at a few spoonfuls.

 

At Rhetoric's question, the noblemare arched an eyebrow, the amusement shining from her beaming smile.  "You ask a noble if she can dance?  Shall you next ask my secretary if he can use his magic?  Or if one of the tenants on my estate knows how to work their fields?"

 

She allowed her excess pride to flow down her throat with a large gulp of wine before she elaborated.  "I have been dancing and singing for as long as I can remember.  Every noble worth their salt knows how to waltz, and in my free time, I've also learned some tango and cha-cha.  If you wish to dance after our meals have settled, I would be loathe not to endulge."

 

Carnelian waved over to Low Key, who hurriedly came to her side.  "Please have the ballroom prepared, dear."

 

"Right away, my Lady," he mumbled, his molars grinding as he trotted off.  Such an expressive character; Carnelian insisted that he looked so much cuter when he was jealous.  Plus, he'd actually TRY to woo her now.  Working her ward with her feminine charm was entertaining only for so long before she longed to be the one chased.

 

(( Quick note: I've retconned the earlier way that Low and Carnelian met.  The circumstances were similar, though he's now the sole heir of a minor unicorn noble house in Canterlot who lives as her ward, being educated in the ways of courtly life.  Even as he "entertains" her, no one can say she's not doing her job... ))

[The Down Trotten 299]

@@Hazard Time,

 

 He couldn't help but laugh at the Baronesses various amounts of retorts and witticisms "You must be fair baroness, my only exposure to nobility is the Princess favorite Cadance and her Husband Armor, and if I may be so bold I would hazard to guess that one of not both of them would trip over on their faces if they did anything more complicated then a four step waltz." Rhetoric was no fan of the newlywed would be royals. Shining was a poor excuse of a general and Cadance had no experience running things, on top of which she had powers she had no right to both magical and administrational.

 

"But forgive me for assuming to much Baroness and thank you for being so humorous with  informing  me of the truth.  With wit, not to mention natural beauty, I'm rather surprised their aren't more suitors here. Unless of course you've made it clear that your a mare who needs no stallion?" he chuckled "Which from what I do know of you Baroness would come to no surprise to me" 

 

It wasn't his intention when he arrived here to try to woo the Baroness, but now that he was here, wrapped up in all the mystique and glow of both her and the royal lifestyle in general it entered into his realm of ambition, what did he have to lose after all? 

[Hazard Time 1,127]

@@The Down Trotten

 

"I would place that as an educated guess, and a risky one at that.  How very brave of you."  From her own personal experience, Rhetoric was only slightly off.  The royal couple could dance, but no where near as good as a natural born noble who was raised to do everything that was required of a courtier, including dance.

 

"Ah yes, about that.  I was married at one point.  It was not a happy one, mind you, but I still mourned my late husband's premature death.  Tripped on a decorative suit of armor and fell onto its spear.  It was most unfortunate.  I've since taken care to disarm all of them.  The weapons were the least interesting part of the display, anyway."  The baroness had a sip of wine, seemingly nonplussed by the subject.  At that moment, Low Key finally returned from his errand.

 

"However, to answer your question, I rather like the life of a bachelorette.  There's so much more freedom to pursue your own desires without having to worry about someone else.  Why do you ask?  Is somepony trying to court me?"  The bright smile on her face was more so from the glare she could feel burning into the back of her head.  Just how jealous could she make him?  Better yet, would she be able to make the two of them fight over her?  She always had room for a second pet stallion in her retinue, and Rhetoric would make for an excellent tool if she could only get a good grip on him.

[The Down Trotten 299]

@@Hazard Time, 

 

Rhetoric laughed at the question, it was one he truly had to ask of himself. Was he really going to try to court this Baroness? It wasn't like he had much of a chance, considering his standing in life and his future prospects, and even if he did stand a chance, there was the question of the Baroness herself, could she be trusted?... 

 

It was a challenging endeavor indeed, one that he had little hope of succeeding in, which made it all the more exciting. So after his small fit of laughter he answered the Baronesses question with a small, confident smile  "Baroness, I for one would deem it foolish for a eligible Stallion not to try to court a stunning yet entirely mysterious mare such as your self. If you are insinuating that I myself am such a Stallion?" he paused to sip at his wine "Well that remains to be seen doesn't it, and we haven't even gotten to the third course, wouldn't want to spoil your appetite with the horrid news of a filthy peasant after your heels now would we?"  

 

He smirked at himself, self depreciating humor was something he would assume a bit foreign in the circles the Baroness traveled in and he wasn't naive to the fact, with just the right amount of it, it could be oddly charming