Weird things kids have told you or done

[Superwholock 87]

Kids are strange creatures, so there's no denying that they've done or said some seriously weird or creepy things. What's your story?

 

I watch my pastor's grandkids, and his grandson once showed me how the inside of jelly beans is different from the outside by chewing one and spitting it out into his hand to show me. He continued to do this through the rest of his jellybeans, which was luckily only like 7 or 8.

[Moony the Cat 3,702]

When i was a kid myself, some other Kids showed me a black game boy cartridge and told me, that it was a very rare Version of Pokemon and that it would be cursed.

Years later when i got my own Internet connection, i learned that the black pokemon cartridge is actually a creepypasta apparently. Back then i even wanted to ask them, if they would sell the cartridge to me, since i was a pokemon fan, but they just pretended that they never talked to me and that there was no black cartridge and that i would be crazy.

Another slightly weird thing was, that someone of my friends back then told me, there was a Worms movie, based on the Video Game Series, he even explained the Story to me. Even though there never was a movie of that sort. Maybe he was just messing with me or he was just talking about some game cut scenes or something.

[Driz 1,552]

I used to work as a monitor for kid's birthday parties. There once was this one group of girls whose entire time was dedicated to pulling my hair and claiming it was a wig. And they were like, passionate about it. They would chase me endlessly and call all of their friends to join in and try to pull out my "wig". That lasted for about 2~3 hours before they finally gave up and went to eat cake or something...

They were fairly young, but still old enough to be able to differ real hair from fake ones, I'd assume. But to this day, I still cannot understand whether those kids were being serious or not.

I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE CRAZY WEIRD HAIR, LEAVE ME ALONE!! ;___;

All jokes aside though, that day was pretty fun. Weird, but fun~ Those girls were adorable, despite being hair-pulling demons.

Edited September 10, 2017 by Driz

[Kings&Hooves14 616]

When I was younger, little kids used to stare at me for unusually long periods of time. I don't know why--maybe they were fascinated by my ugly mug. 

 

[Gabriel 560]

Once a couple of kids showed up in front of the store as I was going in. They asked me to buy them some Euroshopper Energy Drink as that stuff was prohibited from people under the age of fifteen at the time and place. Now, Euroshopper is a huge corporation in Europe which produces all sorts of foodstuff and they just referred to it as "Euroshopper" and nothing else. I knew exactly what they meant but I thought to play a little joke on them.

So, I went in, bought my stuff and a bag of Euroshopper branded bags of frozen vegetables for each and gave them to the kids on my way out. Mission complete? Lesson learned? Dunno.

Not really that weird but I thought to post this becuse it involves you know, kids.

[Superwholock 87]

Omg, all of those are fantastic.

Story #2: I was working in the nursery at church and had to take this 3 year old over into the Pre-K classroom to use the bathroom. It was empty at the time, so he was super weirded out, asking me where all the people were at, and I just wanted to get him into the bathroom before he had an accident. Eventually I get him in there and since there's a stool and I know he's been potty trained for a while, having had him in the nursery before, I lift the seat up with the assumption that he'll just stand and aim like I've seen him do before. Except he doesn't, so I have to move to quickly hold him before he falls in. And then, without any prompting from me, the kid looks me in the eye and says with a straight face, "My daddy said I have to sit so I don't get any pee on the seat." He then reaches down to direct his junk securely into the toilet, looks at me again and says "I need to hold my penis down or I'll get pee everywhere." So, trying not to laugh, I help him stand up when his business is done and go to help him pull up his pants. Before I can, he stops me by grabbing a bunch of toilet paper. So, I asked him why he needed so much toilet paper and he says, "I have to wipe my penis" as if it was obvious and I had no idea. To prove his point, he wipes just the ball area with a single corner of the TP and then tosses it behind him. Oddly one of the weirdest and funniest moments I've had with a child. Weird side note that this kid is also one of the sons of the Vice Principal at my school....I think that and the fact that my Vice Principal had had a talk with his young son about penises and that this kid knew the word 'penis' were probably what made this so funny to me...

[Yakamaru 3,127]

We talkin' random kids? Or kids in general? What age range? 3-18?

(Incomplete)List over weird shit kids have done(the TL;DR versions because I can't be assed to go into detail):

- Take a shit in their pants at a god damn STORE, reach down with one of their hands, pull it out, smell it, and lose their shit(figuratively and literally), running screaming to their mommy. The little twerp were like what, 10? Boy was it fun to see the store employees react to this shit. I miss natural selection. Stupidity usually resulted in death. Now it just makes it to Youtube and funny memories.

- Had this cute but annoying as hell kid, around 10-12 stare at me for 2 hours while on the train when going from my home to the capital. TWO HOURS! I wanted to move to a different car, but the train was already full. Luckily I got stuck next to this really chill girl who were a bit of an anti-SJW, funnily enough. This was like 4-5 years ago. If I had met her now I'd ask her to fuckin' marry me.

- At a mall: One kid randomly grabbed my ass. Was about 16-17, so sexually active I would assume, and horny as fuck, going by the looks of it. What the fuck? Suffice to say, she got ignored and I moved on with my day, as I had shit to do. I gleamed back at the corner of my eye as I was moving away, completely ignoring her. Was fun, hearing her scream like a spoiled brat OVER my headphones which were hitting some real loud music.

- Kid have a birthday party with like two dozen guests. The kid goes to play in the sandbox instead. Alone. And only goes inside when forced to. And boy did I throw a hissyfit because I couldn't play anymore in my sandbox. <-- And yes, that was me, at around 5-6, maybe 7. I remember I didn't give a fuck about the people who were inside. The sandbox and my toys were WAY more interesting. Quite frankly, they still are. If you replace a bulldozer, a small toy shovel and a dumpster truck with a computer.

And now, a short(and completely incomplete) list over weird shit kids have said:

- We were at a pizza restaurant called Peppes Pizza. It's one of the best pizza chains over here in Norway, I shit you not. Anyways.. A family of 5 were sitting next to us. Then one of the boys, around maybe 12, said "Mommy, I like the taste of dead animals. That's what this pizza is, right?" he said with a smile, having some tomato sauce around his mouth. Note: They were having ham and beef pizza with tomatoes.

- While sitting at the train station, I heard a kid say "Daddy, why did you say to my teacher that our dog ate my homework? We don't even have a dog" to her dad. Suffice to say, the kid's going places.

I've got plenty more, but can't be bothered to list more up.

Edited September 11, 2017 by Yakamaru

[Superwholock 87]

@Yakamaru Those are hilarious, although for the grab ass I probably woulda just punched the kid. For me at least, a kid tends to be under 15, but I guess it all depends on your personal view.

[Stone Cold Steve Jobs 22,441]

A kid told me she needed a man who can provide for her. She was 13.

I told her no, she needs to go to school.