private Chaos, Thy Name Is Diego [RP]

[Randimaxis 8,652]

When madness shall prevail
and common sense is naught
a champion is chosen
and a Chaos War is fought...

 

https://mlpforums.com/topic/183629-chaos-thy-name-is-diego-ooc/

 

"Hiya there, honey - welcome to HoozeBound's, best bar in all of Appleanta!  I'm your mare tonight - Wild Cherry - and I do hope you brought a powerful thirst... 'cause the drinks flow hard and fast here, and we ain't exactly known for being shy with seconds!"

It was another typical night at the aging bar.  The scuffed and aged tables had only a light smattering of customers tonight - nowhere like back in the day, of course, however it was enough to be at least a bit formidable... but age had slowly whittled it down from a blazing declaration of fun to a hole-in-the-wall to get cheap liquor at.  Between the oft-patched mosquito netting covering the outside tables, the slight lingering smell of mildew, and the fact that the walls were developing even more cracks, one got the impression that the place was still holding up, but it's years were numbered, all the same.

Wild Cherry, having taken the order, sauntered her way back to the kitchen.  Though, to be considerably honest, she tended to saunter everywhere she went.

As she made her way back, she passed the other waitress working here.  The two exchanged glances, Cherry giving the other waitress a scowl that tried to set her off her meal.  The other waitress then moved to handle another table.

"Hey, lazybones!  You gonna actually DO anything today?  Or just content with practically stealing from the till by sitting there, doing nothing?"

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

At the table, half sitting, half slumped across its stained, scuffed surface, was a stallion. He had a scruffy black mane and tail, both sticking up at odd angles and patched red and indigo fur. His eyes, currently bloodshot, were green and he looked up at the waitress with a sardonic look.

"I don't see no trouble, so you tell me, honey, just what am I supposed to be doing?" he replied, rolling his eyes. The stallion was well known around the area as a drunk, a loner and a trouble maker, and the bar was his second home. His name was Diego and his talent was chaos magic. This set him apart from other ponies who assumed erroneously that he was related to Discord. This had been his lot ever since his first act of chaos, turning the statue in the town centre into peanut butter, and earning Diego his cutiemark; the symbol of chaos.

In the bar, Diego had a job of sorts in return for enough bits to live on and his bar tab permanently paid off. If anypony started a ruckus, got angry at the staff or dared to insult the owner, then Diego would deal with them in as hilarious a way that he could manage with his magic. He used his magic to lift the glass of bright blue liquor to his muzzle and took a sip, waiting for the waitress (he could never really remember their individual names) to reply.

[Randimaxis 8,652]

58 minutes ago, Pripyat Pony said:

"I don't see no trouble, so you tell me, honey, just what am I supposed to be doing?"

She eyeballed the bottle in his magic, then yanked it away with a quick swipe of her hoof, fastidiously wiping the mouth with her apron as she curled it close to her.  It almost seemed like she was trying to protect the poor alcohol from the mean ol' stallion's belly.  Of the two waitresses here, she was the party pooper.  And from the look in her eye, she was ready for his current party to... well, you know.

"ANYTHING, you whiny ball of... of... of somethingunpleasantIdontknow!  Get off your duff!  Mop the floor, or... or bus the dishes, or... o-or, Celestia forbid, at least WIPE YOUR MOUTH!"

She grabbed a filthy rag from behind the counter and threw it at his head.  "You are SO disgusting."

As she stepped away in her little huff (she was always like that), the bartender made his way over and looked at Diego.  He wore a look that was somewhere between pity and shame.

"Hey, paco," he called practically everypony 'paco'; no reason, just some sort of affectation, "you really shouldn't let her razz you like that.  I know you got pride - I see it when you throw out the bums.  You LOVE making it a hard lesson for 'em, and that's grand..."

He sighed and gave him a fatherly look.  "But you gotta have some of that pride in yourself aside from that too, paco.  Work with the whole package, not just a corner of it, you know?"

 

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

Diego shrugged. He caught the rag and, with difficulty, focused on it. At the bartender's words, he said, "Normally, I wouldn't be harassing the staff, you know... but that broad, she really needs to loosen up. That, and she took my drink. I freaking well earned that drink."

His horn glowed briefly with magic, a sign that somepony was going to get it. Even the most sozzled patron would know better than to mess with Diego when they saw his horn glow. The ones he threw out would get that knowledge far too late to escape their fate. Diego wasn't bothered about being disliked by the waitress; he didn't really care what she, or anypony else, thought of him. He'd lived his entire life so far being shunned for his talent, after all. What Diego used his magic for was not violent or painful, at least, physically. He preferred a different way to teach a pony a lesson. So, this waitress was gonna be a party pooper, steal his drink and act as tho he didn't earn his bits? She was gonna regret it.

With his magic, Diego gave the snooty waitress a blindingly brightly coloured rainbow wig, clown makeup and a matching costume, complete with ridiculously too large boots and a bright red nose. He also painstakingly took back his drink and downed it in one.

[Randimaxis 8,652]

18 minutes ago, Pripyat Pony said:

"Normally, I wouldn't be harassing the staff, you know... but that broad, she really needs to loosen up. That, and she took my drink. I freaking well earned that drink."

The bartender sighed.  "She's still my cousin's niece - and even if she IS kinda psycho, her tabs come up straight; hard to find honest pones 'round here.  Right, paco?"

Brandy Snifter had always been one to give even the lowest underdog a chance... and the way he found Diego, they didn't get much lower than that.  He'd made sure the stallion got at least a sandwich or an apple each day - a good thing, as it sometimes seemed as if Diego was routinely forgetting meals.  He'd cleared out the corner of the boiler room, and even if it wasn't much, it was a cot.  He'd watched the stallion drowning in the bottle, night after night, as if simply staying as far away from sober as possible would solve all his problems.

He reminded Brandy of his own father; the bottle had been his friend, too - but he'd still made time for his pequito paco... until he finally went sailing off into the Sea Of Rum yet again, and this time, he sank forever.

The bartender slid another bottle over into Diego's reach, smiling sadly.  "Never too late to respect yourself."  It was a bottle of clear spring water.  Brandy patted it, gave Diego a meaningful look, then turned and moved off to see to his other customers.

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

Diego sighed heavily, staring into the water as tho it was a scrying glass. Despite the many drinks he had had that night, the memories were still there, burning in his mind and refusing to go away no matter what he did. This was why he drunk himself into a stupor night after night. He had told nopony about the tragedy, not even Brandy, tho Diego had an inkling that perhaps the other stallion knew that some sort of terrible memory plagued him.

Once, Diego had been content, living a fairly quiet life in a sleepy town out west. He and his marefriend Starfall, a pretty pegasus, had married very young and had had a foal together. The foal had been very unusual, possibly as a result of his talent, with both wings and horn, but not an alicorn; instead, a pegacorn. This had made the townsfolk look at them suspiciously, tho they had tried their best to ignore the aside glances and hoof gestures that were meant to stave off the evil eye that were always aimed in their direction whenever the family left the house. When these harmless, if hurtful, gestures had evolved into actual attacks, Diego had unleashed the full fury of his chaos powers on the townsfolk. Starfall had fled with their foal, to where he never found out, while the town burned to the ground. Diego had left hurriedly; he had searched for his marefriend and foal everywhere but had never found either, and cuz of what had taken place that night, Diego was shunned all the more by other ponies who feared his magic.Tho an unusually powerful unicorn, Diego had never since unleashed the full force of his magic, fearing what he might do. Instead, he had eventually settled in this dead and alive town, and attempted every night to bury the memories that haunted him.

He sighed again, and used his magic to turn the water into whiskey. He really couldn't see himself getting thru the night without more alcohol, maybe with this, he might even get some sleep.

[Randimaxis 8,652]

Wild Cherry slid her tail across Diego's flank as she passed him.

"Poor little magic man - always sitting there, always drinking, never paying, rarely thinking..." she giggled, "but thanks for dealing with 'Mr. Grabby' earlier; I've never seen somepony's horseshoes run away with them before!"

She leaned in and planted a sweet peck on his cheek.  "And Sweet Cakes looks exactly like I felt she always should."  With that, she left to serve another table.

Right now, there were seven customers in all: two chatting idly by the front doors, one by herself at the end of the bar, three playing cards and laughing as they blew great cloud from their cigars, and one zebra passed out in the far corner.  The card game seemed amicable enough, the chatters looked calm and relaxed and the zebra didn't snore... all was well.

The mare alone at the bar seemed to have her head down, and a drink at hoof.  She'd already drained away four glasses worth, with a fifth half-gone in front of her.  Unicorn, short blue mane & tail, petite, wearing a dress that looked as though it would be more in place at a grand ball than a dump like HoozeBound's.

There was a roar of laughter at the trio's card game, where the players had just discovered their waitress and her 'uniform'; Sweet Cakes gave Diego a glare that would curdle lava and stormed to the back, yanking the wig off as she did & tossing it into the trash bin.

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

Diego returned Sweet Cakes' glare with a sardonic smirk; he felt that she had gotten what she deserved. He watched Wild Cherry saunter away with a kind of wistfulness. Diego never committed himself to any mare, tho he had of course had sporadic "meetings" with willing mares from time to time. He still bore a faint hope of one day finding his lost marefriend Starfall, tho after so many years, that hope became harder and harder to cling to. In fact, the tragedy was that Starfall herself had fled to a place of safety in order to protect her foal but had been unable to find Diego afterwards. Two lost souls, yearning for each other but unable to find each other. Diego, with an effort, pushed the thought away to the back of his mind and took a defiant swig of his whiskey, turning to face the mare at the bar. He narrowed his eyes at the sight of the petite unicorn, in her posh clothes who looked extremely out of place next to the other patrons. He hadn't seen her in the bar before, and he thought he knew everypony who came to the drinking hole.

[Randimaxis 8,652]

On 4/13/2019 at 7:57 PM, Pripyat Pony said:

He hadn't seen her in the bar before, and he thought he knew everypony who came to the drinking hole.

Indeed, she wasn't the typical fare in this place; she sat on the stool as if she were more used to chairs with backs instead.  Her mane was impeccably done up, and the few bits of jewelry she did wear were expensive, but not ostentatious.  The dress was elegant, a lovely velvet number with slits on the side - her cutie mark looked like something made of gold... a ball?  A globe?  Whatever it was, it was spherical.

She stared into her glass as if she was trying to convince it to leap down her throat; when it didn't follow her wordless command, she picked it up and tilted it back artfully, like a true drunkard, and gave only the slightest sigh as she then turned the glass upside down and laid it to rest with the other four glasses.  She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and gave out a gust of a sigh that sounded as if the weight of the world had just settled onto her back.

With that done, she raised a hoof to her chest, sat up straighter, and...

"BUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRP."

She opened her eyes wide, gave a single snort of a laugh, then laid her head down on the bar, wrapped her forelegs around her head, and just sat there.

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

Diego laughed. He hadn't so much as smiled for a long time, but something about this mare's behaviour just invited a laugh. He stifled it as soon as he could, and edged up to her.

"Sorry for laughing," he said. "What are you drinking? Must be good if it has that effect on you."

He wasn't trying to chat her up, he just figured that he might as well talk to another pony for a change. As well as the fact that since he was sitting next to a paying customer, that would stop Sweet Cakes from trying to start on him again.

[Randimaxis 8,652]

21 minutes ago, Pripyat Pony said:

"Sorry for laughing, what are you drinking? Must be good if it has that effect on you."

The mare slowly moved the closest fetlock, and a pure red iris swam in a sea of emerald green as it focused on the stallion addressing her.

"Hwild Pegashush, hov coursh," she slurred.

She sat herself upright with a stretch and a smacking of her lips.  This done, she turned to face him directly.  She shook her head a bit, then lifted a hoof and pointed at a space about two steps to the right of him.  Slowly, as she concentrated, her hoof s-l-o-w-l-y slid over until it pointed at him directly.  

"Hokay... now that dersh only wunnaya now, I can ash dish question... I ash hyoo... ASH you... if you fink I look like leeeedur mahteri-L?  Hi mean... do I look like the one who's ready ta be in chargea anyfin'?"

Her breath was boozy, her movements swaying, and her posture unsteady... however, her eyes were locked on Diego.

"Am I a leeeeedur to youuuuuu?" she drawled, holding her forelegs wide open.

 

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

Diego felt strangely thankful that what had come out of the strange mare's mouth was not a stream of invective against him, as was usual whenever he made a rare attempt to befriend another pony. Unless, of course, they backed away in horror before screaming in panic and running away. There was a good reason why Diego was a loner; the constant hatred and fear got to him. He figured that he could do worse than try and humour this obviously drunk off her arse stranger.

"Yeah, honey," he replied, propping himself up against the bar top so as to relieve the strain on his own unsteady legs. "You sure do look like a leader to me."

[Randimaxis 8,652]

37 minutes ago, Pripyat Pony said:

"Yeah, honey, you sure do look like a leader to me."

She eyeballed him; not angry, nor judging... simply looking at him & sizing him up, as it were.

"Hunh.  Fanksh.  Fanksh a LOT," but she grinned in good humour as she said it. 

She nearly tumbled off the barstool at this point... but at the last minute, she gave a tiny, cute hiccup, and simply didn't fall.  Not that she'd grabbed the bar, or even that she'd steadied herself in time to avoid it...

No, she was simply floating on her back, at about standing level - even though not a one of her hooves touched the ground.  Her horn had a soft green glow about it, and she gave a tittering giggle as she pointed at the ceiling.

"HAY!  You b'long up - y'got no bizness bein' right in fronna me like dat!  I telshya," she spoke behind a hoof to Diego, as if hiding her words from the ceiling itself, "shome daysh, even gravity thinksh it can do waddever it wants to!"

She hovered there, laughing at the ceiling as she continued to NOT run or hide from Diego.

"... but... hmmmmm..." she turned her head sideways, and looked him over again.  This time, he DID get the impression she was judging him... though whatever conclusion she would come to, her mood and expression weren't saying it would be a bad one.

"Hmmmmmmm..."  she leaned up, still hovering.

"... do..."  she dragged herself forward enough to put her hooves on his shoulders, lifting up further.

"... you..." the mare brought herself eye to eye with him.  The whites were all that same shade of emerald, and only those tiny red pinpricks were visible in the pools of green. 

"... drrrrrrrink!?"  She smiled at him, a challenge in her eyes as she carefully lowered her hooves to the floor.  Her stance was solid, though she still appeared to sway a bit.

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

Diego smirked slightly. "Honey," he slurred, his voice belying the fact that he had already imbibed several units of alcohol already, "I invented drinking. At least, in my own mind. You thinking about a contest? Sweetie, you'd stand no chance."

He wasn't merely idly boasting. Diego had inherited his hard head and almost inequine alcohol tolerance from his mother Shadow Star, a hard drinking mare who frequented the gambling dens at Las Pegasus and who's talent was fleecing the unwary of their cash. There were stallions all over Equestria who shivered involuntarily whenever they thought of how they had met her across the poker board and had ended up stripped of all their money and valuables after just one game of blackjack. Shadow Star drank as hard as she gambled; even her foal hadn't held her back. Diego had spent his foalhood either sleeping in a corner while his mother played cards, or curled up in a chair watching her with a shot of bourbon in front of him. She had seen nothing wrong to introducing her son to hard liquor early on, and now, neither did he. His father, Diego had never known. He was gone from the scene before Diego was born and his mother would not speak of him.

[Randimaxis 8,652]

On 4/27/2019 at 7:41 PM, Pripyat Pony said:

"Honey, I invented drinking. At least, in my own mind. You thinking about a contest? Sweetie, you'd stand no chance."

She stared at him for a moment, then threw back her head and let out a howl of laughter.

"HA!  I know ad leasht SHOME ponee who'd call yewa LIARRRrrrrr..." she slurred, "bud I getwhachasayin'..."

She slowly righted herself, then gave him a skeptical, dizzy eye.  "Yew can'd drinksh me unner da taybllllllle... unlesh you shtart dere!"

But now, she gave her head a shake, blinked rapidly, then sat down next to Diego, leaning in close enough for him to smell her breath, which was sickly-sweet and pungently alcoholic - maybe about 60 proof?

"Yesh," she said drunkenly as she stared soberly into his eyes.  "I challengsh you.  I challengsh you 'cause yer fulla fun!  I CHALLENGSH YOU!  FHOR FUN!"

The bat began to look their way, curious to see whom was speaking so loudly. 

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

 

@Randimaxis

Diego smirked. "Sure, honey, whatever you say," he replied. "But you'll lose."

He turns to the front of the bar. "What are you drinking? You can choose, after all, ladies first."

Diego didn't think that this would be a very long contest at all. He might have had a few jars that night, but this mare was practically paralytic. Hell, she could barely articulate, let along stand up. He figured on an hour at best, then he thought that he'd call it a night and go upstairs to sleep it on.

Favouring the mare with a smile, Diego added, "Let the best pony win," making it completely clear he thought that would be him.

[Randimaxis 8,652]

On 5/11/2019 at 7:21 PM, Pripyat Pony said:

"Sure, honey, whatever you say... but you'll lose."

She let out a whinnygiggle that was both a sure sign that she was crocked to the gills, and undeniably adorable.

"Fyoo shay sho.  Hmmmmmmmmm..."

She lifted a hoof into the air and, with a swaying wobble, she pointed it, and began to drift her aim across the shelves with a hazy, woozy wave.

"... hhhhheeeeeeeny... meeeeeeeny... miiiiiney..."

She brought her hoof to a stop on the most expensive bottle in the entire place : Thunderbuck Rum.

This was a rum that had brought many, many sorry drunks to their knees, wailing and gnashing teeth that they could never get as intoxicated as the levels achieved by imbibing the contents of this very bottle.  Liquor-hardened sots collapsed with a few shots, and lightweights going down with just a sniff of the stopper!  This wasn't a 'drinking rum'; this was more of a 'punish yourself for being foolish' rum... a 'rearrange the furniture in your head then jump on it all' rum.

This rum was almost pure alcohol, and cost more for a single bottle than Diego had seen in the entire past year.  Brandy mostly kept it on the shelf for bragging rights, and had never expected to actually SELL it.  However...

"... MO.  DAT wun," she hiccuped as her drunken smile grew wider, allowing a small drip of drool to roll down the left side of her muzzle.

On 5/11/2019 at 7:21 PM, Pripyat Pony said:

"Let the best pony win,"

Her smile grew wide, and her strange eyes crossed as she nodded dumbly.  "Dashhh RIGHT."

Brandy stepped forward, the look on his face saying he was about to attempt to shut this production down before it got out of hoof... but the mare seemed to reach into her dress and pulled out a rather large and clear-cut-and-polished ruby, as big as Diego's hoof!  She dropped it onto the bar with a giggle, and Brandy simply stared at it a moment.  Then, he looked around, nodded to himself this time, and scooped the gem right off the bar & into his hooves, where it promptly vanished.

He poured them both a beginning row of three shots each.  The mare, even as shnookered as she was, took all three of hers without flinching or coughing... and smiled back.

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

@Randimaxis As it happened, Diego had never once drank that particular rum. His tab didn't run to such expensive items, and in any case, he didn't see the point when he could just as easily reach oblivion on cheaper alcohol. He picked up each shot glass with his magic and downed it. The third one wobbled around wildly in the air, spilling a few drops off the side, but he managed just about to get the glass to his mouth and swallow.

The bar seemed to go in and out of focus. The noise level around him seemed to drop considerably, as tho he was underwater, and the lights seemed to be far too bright. Diego slumped on the bar, laying his head down, tho he still wasn't about to give up and pass out. He valiantly fought to keep his eyes open as he slurred to the mare. "That all? I ain't done yet."

[Randimaxis 8,652]

18 hours ago, Pripyat Pony said:

"That all? I ain't done yet."

The mare smiled.  "Oh, we're not done yet... handshome."

Oddly enough, she was now sitting upright and leaning on the bar.  Some of the unkempt look of her mane had somehow flattened out, as if she'd brushed it - though she hadn't even made a move to do so.  Her eyes weren't floating about as much as they were before... in fact, they'd locked onto Diego, and weren't wavering as they had been moments ago.

She made a circular motion with her hoof, and Brandy (with a worried look at Diego on the side) refilled all six.  He set them down in front of the two of them once more, and again she simply lifted them up and shot them to the back of her throat, swallowing without even a hitch.

Now, however...

She sat upright properly, as if she knew she was being watched by others.  She now lifted a hoof to pat at her impeccably neat mane, and not a single movement was out of place or wasted; she acted as though she hadn't had a single drop to drink, though Diego had watched her drink all the shots straight down.

The mare had apparently drunk herself sober.

"Well... are you merely going to leave me hanging like this?  Drink up, sweetheart - you're falling behind."

The smile on her muzzle matched the one in her eyes.  Both were disconcerting.

 

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

@Randimaxis Diego was too far gone to notice any of these signs. He just didn't want to admit that he'd been beaten. So he, with an effort, managed to lift all the shot glasses and drink all the rum. As he drained the last glass, however, darkness enveloped him and he slumped across the bar.

The world was black and white. Black was the colour of the sky, with white being the grass on which he sat, watching the stars falling from the sky. Diego leapt to his hooves, running towards one star that fell to earth nearby. He desperately tried to hold it in his hooves, but it melted into nothingness as he watched in pain. As he sat staring at his empty hooves, the white grass began to fade away, becoming one with the darkness...

This was the last time that Diego ever saw Starfall and Glory, his beloved marefriend and foal. This was the night that everything ended. The townsponies advanced on where Diego stood in front of their house; a home no longer. They waved torches and weapons and shouted angrily. "Kill the witch!" one pony screamed. "Only the princesses have horns and wings; this filly is an abomination!"

A wave of anger crashed across Diego. Who was the abomination, his innocent foal or these prejudiced wretches? He would show them the error of their ways. Diego used his magic to lift Glory, who was shaking in terror, and place her on Starfall's back. "Quick," he whispered to her. "Take Glory and fly away. These are all earth ponies and unicorns, so they won't be able to follow."

"But what about you? I don't want you to be hurt," sobbed Starfall. She was worried about her coltfriend, especially seeing the advancing mob.

"I'll be fine," Diego replied. "Now, go." He gave Starfall a hurried kiss, before she spread her wings and flew up into the sky, soon hidden among the clouds. Diego turned to face the townsponies, a scowl on his face. How dare these fools try to destroy the peaceful life which was all he'd ever wanted? Diego's eyes changed colour from mint green to blood red; a sign that he was to unleash the full power of his chaos magic. The townsponies backed away in horror as Diego rose into the air in front of them, seemingly propelled by dragon wings, with his horn and eyes glowing red as he did so. Of course, the wings were not really there; just an illusion, but to the townsponies, they were real and it was as tho their worst nightmare had come to life in front of them.

"You call my foal a freak, a witch, inequine?" Diego snarled. "The ones who are inequine, ARE YOU!!"

Several blasts of chaos magic, and the town was aflame. Rocks and hailstones fell from the sky, and bright green vines snaked up from the ground. The townsponies panicked and ran in all directions. Diego didn't know or care how many made it away from the burning town, he was completely consumed with his fury and hatred. This was to be the last time for years that he'd unleash the full force of his chaos magic, after that night when he completely razed the town to the ground, leaving nothing but scorch marks...

[Randimaxis 8,652]

On 6/4/2019 at 8:02 PM, Pripyat Pony said:

As he drained the last glass, however, darkness enveloped him and he slumped across the bar.

In the wake of his memory/dream, there was the distinct feeling that he was being watched.

"... and here's where you wake up... and your head starts pounding like a kettle drum... and then the dry tongue..."

He could feel all these things, but strangely enough ONLY when the voice mentioned them; Diego had been unaware of his pain and queasiness while he'd been asleep, but now..?

"... oh, here's where the belly begins to speak up..."

Diego could feel his stomach; it was currently engaged in a revolution against the rest of his body, and he had a feeling that it would soon send the 'troops' within into retreat mode... and his stomach' contents would retreat to his hooves.

He smelled salt, sweat and a little bit of... was that perfume?

"... and... eye opens, seeking answers?"

When the stallion finally decided to open his eyes, the visage he saw didn't match with the mare he'd had the drinking contest with.  To be certain, it was the same voice... but what stood over him was FAR from a pony.

She had a long body that seemed to be covered in a coat of zebra fur.  Her lower appendages looked like they were borrowed from a rabbit and a lizard... the upper ones were both a monkey's hand and a... squid's tentacle?  On her back were two wings... one dragon & one butterfly.  She had a looooooooong mane of strawberry blonde hair, and it was done up in several different braids, with no two being the same.  From her head sprouted a ram's horn and a moth's antenna.  

The face was what could only be described as a draconequus.

"Well, yayzels!  Looks like we have consciousness!  Hidey-ho, my little equine companion," she grinned wickedly, "you rest well?  I swear, had I not been stone-cold sober when I first met you, I might not have been able to challenge you properly - but all turned out for the best!"  She practically skipped in place.

"So... how do you feel, Mr. Diego?"

The smile she wore looked only a little mischievous.

 

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

Diego groaned. "Awful," he replied. "My head feels like it's gonna explode."

He raised his head with an effort and looked about him, "Who in the name of Tartarus are you?" he asked, grumpily. "And where am I? What happened to the bar?"

He couldn't understand what had happened to him. One moment he was passing out on the bar, the next moment he was here. Whereever "here" was. It certainly wasn't any place he'd ever been in before.

@Randimaxis

 

[Randimaxis 8,652]

On 6/19/2019 at 3:29 PM, Pripyat Pony said:

"Awful.  My head feels like it's gonna explode."

She took on a look of surprise and awe, staring at Diego.

"Whooooooaaa... that happens to ponies, too?  Here I thought it was just me!"  She leaned in closely, whispering, "What do you do about the cleanup?  I'm partial to leaving a bloody mess, but I'm willing to take some advice-slash-criticism, if you're offering?"  

She straightened herself up (more or less), standing at an angle that seemed to juuuuuust be off by a hair, a smidge, a skosh... it gave her the appearance of leaning ever-so-slightly, therefore throwing off her surroundings by making herself appear to be imbalanced... which, as Diego would discover soon enough, she most certainly was.

 

On 6/19/2019 at 3:29 PM, Pripyat Pony said:

"Who in the name of Tartarus are you?  And where am I?  What happened to the bar?"

The mishmash creature slid a mischievous grin into what appeared to be a well-known look as she cleared her throat, coughing up a live chipmunk that hit the ground running for its' life.

"I, my new little pony friend, am BEDLAM... but my friends call me 'Lammy'... well, they would," her face fell slightly, "if I had any."

"But I digress!"  She made a large, sweeping bow as behind her, trumpets played a loud, brassy fanfare while fireworks went off and glittery confetti rained down from nowhere in particular.  "I am a draconequus - the prettiest one, to be sure - and an absolute MASTER of Chaos!"  She suddenly stretched over and leaned in closely, speaking from behind her rolling tentacle, "I'd use the word 'Mistress', but well... we don't want anyone getting the wrong impression, amirite?"  Her other elbow nudge, nudged him in his ribs before she pulled back to herself and continued.

"Anyhooziwhatzis, as to where the bar is at?  Well, it's right where we last left it!  That is to say, WE have moved location to where we currently are... which is here, I'd wager."

She gestured around them both.  The first thing he noticed was the waves; they were on some sort of boat, but it was currently docked at a port town of some kind.  The docks were sturdy wood, worn from years of travel and patched in places, yet hearty enough to stand another few decades or so.  The mud seemed to be at war with both barnacles creeping up the sides of the waterlogged support posts, or the patches of greenish-gray mold that clumped in patches where there was room.  The local buildings fared little better; they seemed dreary and gray, and had very little in the way of decoration... which could also be said of the ponies he could see.

The weather was similar - cold, stale and depressing.  There was a general slimy feel to the air, and you could taste it while you breathed... and it made you want to stop breathing, just to spare yourself that icky, clammy feeling in your own lungs.  Everything about this place seemed geared toward making the inhabitants as miserable inside as they looked to be outside.

Except, of course, for the boat they were on.

The bright yellow wood was almost an eyesore; looking at it for too long made Diego's head throb unpleasantly.  The bright blue trim with orange scrimshaw was horrendous to behold, but it was tastily and expertly done.  The sail, a massive flap of periwinkle silk, bore a huge symbol upon it - what appeared to be a buckball with a giant screw threaded through its' core.  The name on the side of the boat (the INside, Diego noticed) proclaimed it to go by the prestigious title of, 'The Peacock's Fart'.

"So, my little pony," she leaned down and husked at him in an almost seductive voice, "I'll bet you're still wondering if you lost our wager, hmmmm?"

[Pripyat Pony 2,608]

@Randimaxis

 

Diego took a long time to answer Lammy. Truth be told, he had much wanted this bizarre situation to be a crazy, alcohol induced hallucination but in the end, he had to admit that it wasn't and this, strange as it was, was reality.

"It's just an expression," he replied, finally, rubbing his head with a hoof, messing his spiky black mane up even more than it already was. "My head really aches. You don't happen to have any painkillers about, do you?"

Just glancing at the bright yellow surroundings made his head ache even more; it was almost blinding. Yellow was not one of Diego's favourite colours. Not only was it too bright, it also brought to mind the unpleasant bile he often brought up after too many jars in the bar. The bar that was not where he was now. He groaned at the thought of the comfortable cot that he normally slept on, not the hard boards he lay on now. A thought struck his hazy brain as the draconequus mentioned the bet.

"Hang on, do you have a reason for bringing me here?" he asked her. "I mean, you already can do magic, right? Just what would you need me for? I can't do nothing."