My Rewritten Version of Magical Mystery Cure

[YoungJustice12334 53]

I feel like the original version of Magical Mystery Cure was rushed, & Twilight's moment of becoming an Alicorn could've been much better if given better writing. The main problem I had with the episode is while it is obvious that this episode was originally planned as a regular episode, it became an ending, and as a season finale, it is just disappointing. It clearly falls short of expectations. The story progresses slowly and predictably, without any twist. There is no real tension, everything just goes forward, until it reaches its end. Twilight's ascension to an alicorn should have been one of the best, one of the most memorable, and most cathartic moments in the history of the show. While It still is, It felt rushed and anticlimactic.

So The one Big Change I would make to MLP's Magical Mystery Cure is instead of the episode being self-contained, I will write the storyline as A Two-Parter Instead.

Part 1 and 2 of Magical Mystery Cure would play out like this:

Part 1:

Prologue: Princess Celestia and Princess Luna discuss about The book of Star Swirl the Bearded, and after the two flips through the book, they spot an Incomplete last page. Princess Celestia tells Luna that if Twilight can complete it, she'll be rewarded to the next level of her studies. Princess Luna would ask her about what happens if Twilight writes the spell wrong, but Celestia reassures her that she'll be fine.

Act 1: The Mane Six would be hanging about together in Ponyville and talk about the great adventures they had together and how much they have grown since being conjoined by the Elements of Harmony. Following a quip about how happy Ponyville looks and is, The Song from the original episode "Life in Ponyville" occurs, but without the scene of an interruption of Rarity accidentally dumping rainwater on top of her, that part will occur later on. When the song is done, the Mane Six laugh together.

Suddenly, Spike ends up burping A letter with the addition of Star Swirl's book which appears before Twilight. Everyone in Ponyville sees this and gives out an ooh moment, especially Twilight, who was responsible for finishing the spell. Some Ponies would question how to finish it, and One of the Ponies asks who Star Swirl the Bearded is. Twilight Sparkle explains who he is and his legend. Some of the spells Twilight used came from him. He was one of her idols when she was a filly, and it was his greatness as to why she yearns to be the best magician alive today. If she can complete the spell, She evolves to a new level of her studies.

Act 2: Twilight returns home & begin to research Star Swirl and reads his book of spells, starting from the small ones to the aging spell. Then she came across the incomplete spell again. Forgetting that the Elements of Harmony were behind her, she began to chant the spell, but nothing happened. So she changed it by completing it, not knowing that the rest of The Elements of Harmony are altered in color but hers.

The next morning, Twilight hums Life in Ponyville again, only to have water dumped on her. Rarity's cutie mark was Rainbow Dash's lightning bolt. Twilight asked what happened, but Rarity doesn't remember anything prior. Therefore, the Song "What My Cutie Mark Is Telling Me" from the original episode plays out here In Part 1.

Act 3: Twilight panics and tries to convince her friends to remember what they did, but they couldn't. They didn't even remember what happened yesterday. Twilight races back home and looks at the book again and Star Swirl's past history again. Then she looked at the Elements of Harmony. All of the colors are altered, which has Twilight realize that what she did resulted in her friends' livelihoods being altered, and harmony quickly turned to despair.

Twilight looks at the results of this which is Carousel Boutique was being boarded, Sweet Apple Acres becoming desolate, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy feeling hopeless with their new talents, and Rarity crying into a corner for the mistakes she made with her talents. Twilight's mood saddened and felt even more hopeless. The song "I've Got to Find a Way" Plays, which closes off Part 1 of Magical Mystery Cure.

Part 2

Prologue: A Recap of The events of Part 1.

Act 1: Twilight would start researching her books and she keeps looking at the spell she enacted. She tried to write it out and rewrite it, but each time she attempted, it got blocked. Frustrated, Twilight throws her book down hard on the ground, frustrated. For the first time since her discordance, she felt hopeless. A tear sheds, landing on the book.

Princess Celestia appears & consoles Twilight. The Two teleport into Canterlot, where Princess Celestia brings her into a room where all of Twilight's memories and accomplishments are kept. An altered version of Celestia's Ballad commences, reminding Twilight of all the hardships and accomplishments she underwent. Princess Celestia reassures Twilight that she can fix the spell and encourages her not to quit and also says that it's not too late to make things right. Princess Celestia tells Twilight to Follow her dreams and To put her heart into Ponyville. Twilight was inspired and realized if she can't rewrite the spell, she can fix it by reminding her friends of their true talents.

Act 2: With the Elements of Harmony gathered, Twilight finds Fluttershy and tells her that only she can help Rainbow Dash and make things right again. The two Ponies go to visit the cottage, where the animals hold a mutiny against Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy's able to successfully communicate with them and, with help from her Element, got her true talent back. The Song "A True, True Friend." from the original show then plays and after the song, The Mane Six have A group hug and they're very happy to see themselves back to the way they were again.

And here, Twilight was able to think of a way to fix the spell. They looked at Star Swirl's book one final time and noticed a pattern of attempting to live a life and evolve further, but the spells felt negative and cold. Twilight was able to connect the idea of maybe evolving into something more important and greater. And the spell was a method to conclude it. Instead of rewriting the spell from the paper, Twilight rewrote it from scratch but changed the final lines. Suddenly, the Elements of Harmony are charged, engulfing Twilight into a ball of light. When the light fades, everyone gasps to see Twilight missing.

Act 3: Twilight then wakes up and unfolds her wings, revealing to be an alicorn. Everyone was shocked but excited. Twilight was surprised but worried about how all this can happen. Celestia appears and explains Star Swirl's past about not being able to understand friendship. He was a powerful unicorn, but was always alone and worked on his spells solo. His legacy didn't begin until long after he disagreed.

He wanted to be great, but Twilight did something no other Pony ever did: complete Star Swirl's magic of alicorn evolution, which is A concept that's never been done before. Furthermore, if needed, Twilight can be promoted into a Princess of Magic, surprising everyone. Twilight questions Princess Celestia of how to do her duties, but she reassures her that everything will be okay, and all of her questions will eventually be answered. Twilight reluctantly accepted it but took a look at her wings with some doubt.

The last scene of Part 2 would be Twilight Sparkle being promoted to A Princess and having her coronation. In her speech, she thanked all of her friends for helping her grow into the pony she is today. After a group hug, The song "Life in Equestria" from the original episode happens here. In the end, Twilight asks Celestia if everything will be fine, and Celestia happily winked, and Twilight smiled hopefully.

Part 2 would end from there, but without the scene of Twilight flying towards the screen, And the ending would set up Twilight's training to become A Better Princess for Season 4.

So What do you think of my rewrite of Magical Mystery Cure?

[Tom Gallagher 33,588]

Woah!  That's all I can say! I personally love the episode as is. It's one of my all-time favourites but if it was like this, can you imagine how awesome that would've been? 

[nightshroud96 124]

Wished there would be something for Luna to do like Celestia there.
Same with Spike.
I mean, MMC was originally intended to be the series finale iirc(before change of plans), if the show ended on MMC then having Luna just be non-existent-ish there(same with Spike being just.. there) would not be a pretty good sendoff for them.

About Twilight's part of the speech where she thanked her friends for helping her grow into the pony she is now, is Spike included? Sadly I don't think he was in the actual episode and it just aggravated me since Spike had a major role to Twilight too with him getting her to try to make friends in the season 1 premiere(and other stuff too).
Its like Spike didn't count due to he's not an Element Bearer, like not allowed to be included due to that.

[Them's Seeing Ponies 282]

While I can't contest that the rewrite above contains several valid improvements over the original episode (chiefly the division of the plot into two parts, which enables more breathing room for dramatic buildup as opposed to the events of the episode proper occurring within an ostensible period of a few hours, which ultimately felt overly abrupt to me given the gargantuan plot and character developments the basic narrative encourages the audience to swallow), I feel it simultaneously doesn't fully address the core conceit of MMC both as an individual plot and a component of the wider show, which arguably constitutes its most grievous faults; I wouldn't claim to be entirely opposed to the conceit of Twilight ascending into a full leadership role, but the lack of buildup within the preceding season (owing to its truncated runtime and lack of notable focus on Twilight save for the premier and Magic Duel, neither of which provided a magnitude of buildup (save for a handful of sporadic forced moments) proportionate to the level of development MMC insistently claims Twilight to have achieved) and the episode's own insistence on the grandeur and poignancy of its own narrative (which asserts that the audience must feel 'proud' for Twilight through numerous 'theatrical' musical numbers and moments broadly conceived to elicit 'impact' as opposed to constructing clearer narrative logic and justifying its own plot twists, which yields an odd dichotomy when interposed against the immensity of the twists in question to give the episode a somewhat manipulative air - I suspect that brony criticisms at the time of the episode's airdate may stem from this indirectly, given that one of the show's most notable strengths during the Faust seasons (essentially a year prior) was its ability to present conclusions in a more honest and grounded form than its contemporaries, which a comparison of episodes such as "Hurricane Fluttershy" (in which the character development itself is emphasized over the broader outcome of breaking the speed record to channel a more honest visualization and depiction of the cast) and MMC (in which a vastly more significant character development is abruptly unleashed on the audience with minimal proportionate buildup, specific characterization or explanation (what specific qualities does Twilight possess that position her willingly within a leadership role?) in favour of bombastic musical sequences and 'dramatic' moments) illustrates further). Admittedly, the elongating of the narrative's runtime aids in softening the blow, but the pacing in question is effectively an external symptom of a wider issue (both with the show's pacing of Twilight's arc and of Meghan McCarthy's tenure as a whole).

Edited July 29, 2020 by Them's Seeing Ponies

[Splashee 28,564]

I'd rather have that episode removed from the show, than rewritten. Just my opinion

[JMTV99 1,353]

On 2020-07-27 at 2:20 PM, YoungJustice12334 said:

I feel like the original version of Magical Mystery Cure was rushed, & Twilight's moment of becoming an Alicorn could've been much better if given better writing. The main problem I had with the episode is while it is obvious that this episode was originally planned as a regular episode, it became an ending, and as a season finale, it is just disappointing. It clearly falls short of expectations. The story progresses slowly and predictably, without any twist. There is no real tension, everything just goes forward, until it reaches its end. Twilight's ascension to an alicorn should have been one of the best, one of the most memorable, and most cathartic moments in the history of the show. While It still is, It felt rushed and anticlimactic.

So The one Big Change I would make to MLP's Magical Mystery Cure is instead of the episode being self-contained, I will write the storyline as A Two-Parter Instead.

Part 1 and 2 of Magical Mystery Cure would play out like this:

Part 1:

Prologue: Princess Celestia and Princess Luna discuss about The book of Star Swirl the Bearded, and after the two flips through the book, they spot an Incomplete last page. Princess Celestia tells Luna that if Twilight can complete it, she'll be rewarded to the next level of her studies. Princess Luna would ask her about what happens if Twilight writes the spell wrong, but Celestia reassures her that she'll be fine.

Act 1: The Mane Six would be hanging about together in Ponyville and talk about the great adventures they had together and how much they have grown since being conjoined by the Elements of Harmony. Following a quip about how happy Ponyville looks and is, The Song from the original episode "Life in Ponyville" occurs, but without the scene of an interruption of Rarity accidentally dumping rainwater on top of her, that part will occur later on. When the song is done, the Mane Six laugh together.

Suddenly, Spike ends up burping A letter with the addition of Star Swirl's book which appears before Twilight. Everyone in Ponyville sees this and gives out an ooh moment, especially Twilight, who was responsible for finishing the spell. Some Ponies would question how to finish it, and One of the Ponies asks who Star Swirl the Bearded is. Twilight Sparkle explains who he is and his legend. Some of the spells Twilight used came from him. He was one of her idols when she was a filly, and it was his greatness as to why she yearns to be the best magician alive today. If she can complete the spell, She evolves to a new level of her studies.

Act 2: Twilight returns home & begin to research Star Swirl and reads his book of spells, starting from the small ones to the aging spell. Then she came across the incomplete spell again. Forgetting that the Elements of Harmony were behind her, she began to chant the spell, but nothing happened. So she changed it by completing it, not knowing that the rest of The Elements of Harmony are altered in color but hers.

The next morning, Twilight hums Life in Ponyville again, only to have water dumped on her. Rarity's cutie mark was Rainbow Dash's lightning bolt. Twilight asked what happened, but Rarity doesn't remember anything prior. Therefore, the Song "What My Cutie Mark Is Telling Me" from the original episode plays out here In Part 1.

Act 3: Twilight panics and tries to convince her friends to remember what they did, but they couldn't. They didn't even remember what happened yesterday. Twilight races back home and looks at the book again and Star Swirl's past history again. Then she looked at the Elements of Harmony. All of the colors are altered, which has Twilight realize that what she did resulted in her friends' livelihoods being altered, and harmony quickly turned to despair.

Twilight looks at the results of this which is Carousel Boutique was being boarded, Sweet Apple Acres becoming desolate, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy feeling hopeless with their new talents, and Rarity crying into a corner for the mistakes she made with her talents. Twilight's mood saddened and felt even more hopeless. The song "I've Got to Find a Way" Plays, which closes off Part 1 of Magical Mystery Cure.

Part 2

Prologue: A Recap of The events of Part 1.

Act 1: Twilight would start researching her books and she keeps looking at the spell she enacted. She tried to write it out and rewrite it, but each time she attempted, it got blocked. Frustrated, Twilight throws her book down hard on the ground, frustrated. For the first time since her discordance, she felt hopeless. A tear sheds, landing on the book.

Princess Celestia appears & consoles Twilight. The Two teleport into Canterlot, where Princess Celestia brings her into a room where all of Twilight's memories and accomplishments are kept. An altered version of Celestia's Ballad commences, reminding Twilight of all the hardships and accomplishments she underwent. Princess Celestia reassures Twilight that she can fix the spell and encourages her not to quit and also says that it's not too late to make things right. Princess Celestia tells Twilight to Follow her dreams and To put her heart into Ponyville. Twilight was inspired and realized if she can't rewrite the spell, she can fix it by reminding her friends of their true talents.

Act 2: With the Elements of Harmony gathered, Twilight finds Fluttershy and tells her that only she can help Rainbow Dash and make things right again. The two Ponies go to visit the cottage, where the animals hold a mutiny against Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy's able to successfully communicate with them and, with help from her Element, got her true talent back. The Song "A True, True Friend." from the original show then plays and after the song, The Mane Six have A group hug and they're very happy to see themselves back to the way they were again.

And here, Twilight was able to think of a way to fix the spell. They looked at Star Swirl's book one final time and noticed a pattern of attempting to live a life and evolve further, but the spells felt negative and cold. Twilight was able to connect the idea of maybe evolving into something more important and greater. And the spell was a method to conclude it. Instead of rewriting the spell from the paper, Twilight rewrote it from scratch but changed the final lines. Suddenly, the Elements of Harmony are charged, engulfing Twilight into a ball of light. When the light fades, everyone gasps to see Twilight missing.

Act 3: Twilight then wakes up and unfolds her wings, revealing to be an alicorn. Everyone was shocked but excited. Twilight was surprised but worried about how all this can happen. Celestia appears and explains Star Swirl's past about not being able to understand friendship. He was a powerful unicorn, but was always alone and worked on his spells solo. His legacy didn't begin until long after he disagreed.

He wanted to be great, but Twilight did something no other Pony ever did: complete Star Swirl's magic of alicorn evolution, which is A concept that's never been done before. Furthermore, if needed, Twilight can be promoted into a Princess of Magic, surprising everyone. Twilight questions Princess Celestia of how to do her duties, but she reassures her that everything will be okay, and all of her questions will eventually be answered. Twilight reluctantly accepted it but took a look at her wings with some doubt.

The last scene of Part 2 would be Twilight Sparkle being promoted to A Princess and having her coronation. In her speech, she thanked all of her friends for helping her grow into the pony she is today. After a group hug, The song "Life in Equestria" from the original episode happens here. In the end, Twilight asks Celestia if everything will be fine, and Celestia happily winked, and Twilight smiled hopefully.

Part 2 would end from there, but without the scene of Twilight flying towards the screen, And the ending would set up Twilight's training to become A Better Princess for Season 4.

So What do you think of my rewrite of Magical Mystery Cure?

That's amazing!