Help with the prologue of one of my stories

[Evil Pink One 12,972]

to clarify things I'm sure that pear butter is a kind mother..... and would still do anything for her child.

AND that would even make a solid reason for her to stay even longer. because she is going to try to teach love and learn stuff from apple wood. but 6 years have passed and nothing grew into fruition of her trying to teach apple wood.  apple wood would still be a timberwolf through and through... so thats when she gives up. and give a solid reason to tell apple jack to give up.

 

plus your time line is very very messed up. if the alpha is one of the 3 timberwolves In the series.... I suggest you make it an entirely different timber wolf.

oh and time line.

missing parents:

apple bloom; still a baby and AJ and big mac; maybe 5 years old( in terms of human age) dosnt work on farms yet.

missing parents ark: it takes 6 years 

ah and bigmac have never met the mane 6 

fluttershy dosn't leave in ponyville yet.

you actually need twice the amount of 6 years off missing before fluttershy leaves in ponyville.

 

 

 

[Shady Mist 55]

12 minutes ago, Kujamih said:

to clarify things I'm sure that pear butter is a kind mother..... and would still do anything for her child.

AND that would even make a solid reason for her to stay even longer. because she is going to try to teach love and learn stuff from apple wood. but 6 years have passed and nothing grew into fruition of her trying to teach apple wood.  apple wood would still be a timberwolf through and through... so thats when she gives up. and give a solid reason to tell apple jack to give up.

 

plus your time line is very very messed up. if the alpha is one of the 3 timberwolves In the series.... I suggest you make it an entirely different timber wolf.

oh and time line.

missing parents:

apple bloom; still a baby and AJ and big mac; maybe 5 years old( in terms of human age) dosnt work on farms yet.

missing parents ark: it takes 6 years 

ah and bigmac have never met the mane 6 

fluttershy dosn't leave in ponyville yet.

you actually need twice the amount of 6 years off missing before fluttershy leaves in ponyville.

 

 

 

I think I got it, I think I have a plan, I wrote it down so I didn't forget, I'm going to change a few small things but I think I solved it! Thank you.

[Evil Pink One 12,972]

1 hour ago, Shady Mist said:

I think I got it, I think I have a plan, I wrote it down so I didn't forget, I'm going to change a few small things but I think I solved it! Thank you.

can't wait for the final product!

[Shady Mist 55]

3 minutes ago, Kujamih said:

can't wait for the final product!

Same.

[Shady Mist 55]

@Courageous Thunder Dash, @Kujamih and @Brony Number 42 Chapter 1 of "Applewood" is now up of FIMFiction.

 

[Evil Pink One 12,972]

First step is trying next step is learning! If you have 10 readers be happy and check your flow off people continuing to read your work.