critique wanted Celestia's Secret History

[Sol Asynja 0]

Northern Conquest

 

Back in those days, those ancient days, before harmony between the races, before the goddesses came to the world the three races warred between each other and in this conflict, winter came in and it did not disappear. The eternal winter became colder and colder and food was becoming short. The ponies turned to desperate measures for survival but it did not stop the wendigo.

 

Wendigo not only made the winter worse but started hunting the ponies, not wishing to die out and to one up their opponent started to migrate south to a warmer land. But as they travelled they were not welcome in this new land, a race were already living in this "virgin land" A race twice the size of a pony, half spider half ape, four legs on the ground and for arms in front of them and horns on their head, partially covered in fur, physically mighty but incapable of unicorn magic, and as intelligent as the ponies, spread thin across their homeland, what in time will be called Equestria.

 

The first encounter went better than expected, the pegasi were the first ones to encounter them and after explaining the reason for their trespassing, the natives seeing their desperation in their eyes allowed them to stay. They were treated with food and even shelter for those who couldn’t make their own. Some time later the earth ponies and unicorns found out their collusion and attacked together against both and the pegasi and their allies fled and the pegasi were abandoned for the sake of their tribe.

 

The second encounter was much worse, having heard of what happened to the first tribe, the second tribe who encountered them, this time earth ponies fought and tried to kill as many ponies as possible but realising the strength of the tribal warriors, fled. Still the ponies fleeing from what seemed death itself continued to migrate pushing against the native creatures of the southern land. Natives realising the threat the ponies are after being pushed partially out of their own land started to work together to end the pony migration once and for all. Together they started to attack the ponies fighting till they got tired. After some success the ponies realised after an attack by the natives the only way to win would be by working together. Yet their leaders refused to cooperate so the ponies revolted, locked them up in a cage and left them outside to die to the elements.

 

Then soon after two cute mares were born, a white and blue and a purple and blue, ponies named Celestia and Luna. Soon they grew older and by the time they were just teenagers they were tutored by the great unicorn Star Swirl the Bearded. As Celestia and Luna grew older they showed their power of being able to raise and set the sun and moon. Soon enough, when they were adults for magical ability, were declared them the queens of a new pony nation which they named Equestria. News of the magical queens spread like wildfire among the ponies in other tribes, who quickly embraced them as their queens. This time was a time of war and the sisters led their new nation against the natives weakened from countless battles. Needing somewhere to live yet the natives not yielding and pressure from the common ponies for revenge, the queens along with all of Equestria went to war.

 

All ponies called to action and for once finally pushed once more against the natives in battle they won and the ponies spread across the north. In about a hundred years they went from the hope river later called severyana river to the Queen of Rivers near where Manehattan later was founded and west to modern Whinnyapolis. But as this was occuring the natives noticed what was happening and were starting to stir between themselves about this new invading race, they decided to prevent their own destruction they would band together and restore what was lost.

 

In this the natives attacked at first successful from their large number of soldiers pushing back the ponies day after day yet they faltered troubles between the tribes just like any other of a coalition army. They were bickering between each other on matters like who is the leader, who is where, what are they supposed to do there. This gave time for the ponies to recoup, rest and start to attack themselves, without having these issues they managed to defeat the armies one by one. Realising the failure of the coalition they went back home before any more of them got killed, and the ponies went back to the land they lost. Both weak natives and ponies agreed to a tenuous peace and give time for themselves to regain strength and push the enemy out of their homelands.

 

The next two decades a peace was formed between the two, both licking their wounds, readying for the next conflict. But as the peace continued the fighting never truly stopped both engaging in raids against the other which is what led to the end of the peace. A raid by the natives from hollow shades forest dashed north then north west to crystal city, the home for the queens at that time then to the west away from the ponies. News spread like wildfire and the ponies were enraged and demanded to strike back, the smiths worked day and night, mages invented, learned and trained with new spells.

 

In 3 weeks time they built the largest army yet all led by their queen Luna but the natives noticed their army assembly and were ready yet despite their readiness they were massively outnumbered. In just a month’s time the pony army marched south to hollow shades, the queen using new magic turned the native tribe there to trees turning it from a forest into a jungle home for the parasites that there are now. After reaching the mid continent mountains she marched east, conquered everything north of a small river, destroyed the native habitats and turned back north and went home declaring victory against the natives of the south.

 

While the ponies praised her accomplishments the threat of the natives still persisted and the ponies were not satisfied. So the same army under Luna once more left out to war and marched day and night west yet there was nothing, totally abandoned, settlements were left untouched but nothing of value was left. After marching for 2 days without stopping they sat down and rested for the day. Simple temporary defences were erected, they talked among each other of why it’s so empty, so quiet it worried everyone but they went to sleep for the night, night guards watched over worried of an ambush. Silence, not even the sound of crickets then horns blown, screaming the camp is being attacked, the natives went around and over the fortification impaling and bashing as many as possible, the queen was unhurt but was consumed by panic as were all ponies. There was no order everyone fled for their lives, of the original army only about 1/5 came home, Luna’s rage started to grow.